Please see our player page for Jake Marisnick to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

In our first Ambulance Chasers post this season, we touched on some of the bigger names that were dealing with some off-season question marks about their injury status and health.  Now that we’re into January, we’re starting to get updates trickling in on some players rehab processes, and they’re not all good. We also touch on some late round names here and speculate on some situations that could change between now and the beginning of the season that would count some of these players as huge bargains for early drafters.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m here in sunny downtown San Diego at the Winter Meetings and just ran into Matt Kemp. How ya doing, Matt? “I’m great, Grey, excited about continuing my career.” Which career is that, Matt? “Baseball.” Okay, great! *holds finger to ear* Sorry, hearing now there’s big breaking news! Wow! It was just reported the Red Sox have a lot of suitors for Jackie Bradley Jr. and David Price. An absolute ton of offers. Currently, 32 teams are offering packages and there’s only 30 teams, including them. That is crazy! Just going to pass through this downtown San Diego lobby and, damn it, it’s Matt Kemp again. *ducks behind a bank vault with money that is being wheeled by Brain Cashman, follows him into a room with Gerrit Cole lighting cigars rolled in million dollar bills* Gerrit Cole, “Can you change your Diamond Club to the Cole Club?” Cashman, “We can change Giancarlo to Giancole-lo if you want.” “We have a deal.” Oh my God, I snuck into the biggest signing in the history of signings! Excuse me for a second while I try to piece together some of this million-dollar-ash back into a million dollar bill. So, Gerrit Cole signs with the Yankees. He seems like he might be, I don’t know, good. There’s only one person Cole disappointed last year. “His contact rate was 66.3%? That’s next-to-last in the league! So dumb! Is he as thick as this Fribble?” That’s Ray Searage explaining pitching to a Friendly’s waitress. Luis Castillo was the only pitcher with a lower Contact Rate, but Cole’s O-Swing% was 1.4% higher. Cole was also number one in the majors for Swinging Strike percentage (16.8%). In other words, Cole induced the 2nd lowest contact while making hitters chase more than the number one guy, and made hitters swing and miss more than everyone. I’d like to thank the Academy for telling me who died last year and thank Cole for being wonderful. Cole had the best fastball (36.2 Fastball wins above average). That was the 5th best fastball since 2000. No one in the top 10 had another pitch register higher than 11.4, except Cole, whose slider was a 13. Like Leggs, Cole is sheer excellence. He had arguably one of the best pitcher seasons in the last 20 years. The Pirates got Joe Musgrove, Michael Felix and Colin Moran for him, then the Pirates turned around and traded Tyler Glasnow for Chris Archer. Pirates should sell their team bus and buy a Dodge Dart to drive around the team, because they are a bunch of clowns. For 2020, I’ll give Gerrit Cole projections of 17-6/2.61/0.93/294 in 207 IP. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2020 fantasy baseball:

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Trevor Story hit the IL with a thumb sprain, which is bad news (no dur), but the Rockies are saying there’s no ligament damage, so it could’ve been worse.  The good news is Brendan Rodgers was promoted.  Is this good news?  For Rodgers, I’d imagine it is.  For the Uber driver taking Rodgers to the airport?  Prolly good news for them.  The guy sitting next to Rodgers on the plane having to hear about how Rodgers is not going to sit on the bench for Pat Valaika, this time, things are gonna be different?  Doesn’t sound like good news for that guy sitting next to him. What a bore!  Okay, so I know, I know, I KNOW the Rockies have burned us all to the point where we shudder at commercials for Burn Notice reruns on USA, but there is a reason why the Rockies have burned us.  Because we all want to own all of them due to the stadium. I grabbed Rodgers for that very reason.  We shall see, but I put it at 70/30 the Rockies play Pat Valaika, and 30 is for:  Rodgers doesn’t play, is sent down and Hampson is recalled to also not play. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Minnesota’s resident bad boy Miguel Sano continues his triumphal return to crushing baseballs and dinging dongs Friday night with his fifth home run (a solo shot) off Reynaldo Lopez in the third inning. Let it Sano. Let it Sano. Well, you get it. It seems like everyone on the Twins is having a career year so far, and Miguel has returned from the IL just in time to get on this sweet 2019 Twinkie action. He’s now slashing .250/.333/.857 with five home runs and nine RBI through seven games. Yes, you read that correct, five home runs in seven games. Extrapolate that. Calculating….calculating…calculating. Let’s see he’s on pace to hit 76 home runs from now until August. Hmm, wait that seems wrong. Irregardless! He’s 7-for-28 in the past week and five of those seven hits have gone yard-o, folks. If that doesn’t make your happy memorial day I don’t know what can. Sure, he’s got 11 strikeouts already, but he’s also slugging .857. This is Miguel Sano. This is what you’re signing up for. He swings and misses with the best in and biz but when he connects *kisses fingertips* mmm, grazie.  He’s available in over 60% of leagues, but that number should shrink quite a bit once the Minneapolis die-hards wake up. He was a BUY and he’s definitely worth a flier if you need power, especially while he’s sending every baseball he touches to the moon. Pick him up, Sano you want to!

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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It’s a good time to be a twin! No, not just if you’re a mother on Mom’s day because you got twice the bragging rights. The Minnesota Twins look unstoppable right now posting their third shut out in the past four games including Jake Odorizzi‘s gem Friday night as he extended his scoreless streak to 20 (! ! !) innings. It’s his third start in a row without allowing a run and he’s given up just seven hits in that stretch. The former Ray pitched seven shut out innings against the Tigers, allowed just one hit (a double to Christin Stewart in the first inning) and struck out five, walking none to earn his fifth win. Jake was hammering the strike zone, throwing 66 of his 95 pitches for strikes and lowering his ratios to a gorgeous 2.32 ERA and 0.94 WHIP. That ERA’s good enough for 3rd in the AL, folks. And let us not forget that 43/15 K/BB is making me real happy happy. Dude is hotter than Hunter Johanssen’s twin sister (that’s Scarlett) which is pretty darn hot you guys! If we look at some next level stats, the 0.42 HR/9 is obviously not sustainable, and the 24.8 GB% is suspect. The 2.84 FIP and 4.49 xFIP suggest there is regression coming in the form of some home runs balls but all the stats that matter (9.07 K/9, 17% K/BB, .221 BABIP) show he’s still trending in the right direction. Jake gets the Angels next week and he needs to be owned everywhere, at least while all the Minnesota Moms are showering their Twins with love and Odorizzi is making it look Odoreasy.

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We gonna talk about Lil’ Wayne’s favorite baseball player, “Franmil mil mil mil mil…mil mil, a mil.”  Much to chagrin of the former Padres’ outfielder and Missy Elliott’s favorite player, “Matt Sczrczrczr,” or as she would say, “nac uoy eveileb eh saw reve a gniht Sczrczrczr my skizzard.”  Franmil Reyes looks like a cross between Kyle Blanks and a vending machine that dispenses steaks.  “Damn, I thought this was the crappy hot chocolate vending machine and now I just got charged $54 for a T-bone.”  That’s someone getting a vending machine steak.  Yesterday, Franmil Reyes did what he’s been known/capable of — blasting two, loud $54 vending machine T-bones into orbit, ending the night 3-for-4 with his 7th and 8th homer.  He’s now on pace for 40 homers.  Greek chorus, “Who isn’t?!”  Okay, GC, but Franmil can get to 40 homers, unlike, say, Tommy La Stella.   Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Well, the non-waiver trade deadline has come and gone, and now those of us who have unrealistically been hoarding relief pitchers praying for some of them to end up at the back end of their team’s bullpens can sort through our rosters and go on with our lives. (Sure, there will most likely be a few more moves made before the “real” trade deadline, but I’m going to throw caution to the wind and finally dump David Hernandez in the leagues I’ve been holding him!) Since those of you in deep leagues have most likely already figured out that fellows like Austin Meadows (now up to 35% owned in CBS leagues), Tyler O’Neill (22%),  Ken Giles (40%), and even Jose LeClerc (20%) may have had a serious value spike based on moves that have been made, we’re going to do some extra-deep digging this week. All of the players listed today are owned in 5% or fewer of CBS leagues, so this will truly be an ultra-deep league group (but if you have comments or questions of the slightly-less-insanely-deep variety, throw them out there – it’s always fun to remember what it’s like to have actual options in the (oxymoron alert!) “real” fantasy baseball world.)

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Yesterday, Kole Calhoun went 1-for-2 and his 14th homer and, seriously, how many home runs does he have since the break?  475?  Am I warm?  Because it feels like I’m super warm…*eyes drift to a mirror* …so super, super warm.  Hot even.  What’s your name?  *snaps out of it*  Damn it, reflection!  Okay, starting a dynasty team, Trout or Calhoun?  It’s too difficult to decide!  What is this world coming to with the fire emoji that is Kole Calhoun in the last two weeks?  I can’t handle it.  Literally, and I’m wearing oven mitts.  Here’s Calhoun two weeks ago:  *opens DeLorean door*  “I can go anywhere?  How about Balco in 2001?”  Somehow, Calhoun is only owned in 45% of leagues, which I hope means 55% of people are already checking out our fantasy football rankings.  If not, shame.   Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Yesterday, Zack Greinke went 2-for-3, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 2nd steal, hitting .300–Oops, sorry!  The only pitcher whose hitting stats matter are Shohei Ohtani, because he can’t pitch anymore.  That tracks logically.  Has any site that made Ohtani a hitter and pitcher clarified why?  Because there was public pressure to make him both?  Because he was going to do both?  Doesn’t every pitcher do both?  Ohtani’s not going to throw more than 50 IP this year, which is, what, a quarter of a full season for a starter?  That’s doing both?  I know, I’m just being a hater, but it does feel like there was a double standard given to Ohtani without him actually doing anything, and he had 25 IP thrown dating back to 2016.  Any hoo!  Greinke!  Yes, he was awesome again — 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.41.  His peripherals are also one of the few pitchers who is doing well that could do better — 9.4 K/9, 1.7 BB/9, 3.35 xFIP.  His velocity is down two miles per hour and I’d be lying if I said I was going after him hard, unless, of course, he’s eligible as a hitter.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?