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Is it just me (it’s not just me) or do you also think a guy who isn’t great in the majors, then goes to Triple-A and tears it up is a Quad-A player? I can’t help, but think that. It’s almost like I’d prefer a guy struggle a bit in the minors so I can just think of them as bad vs. Quad-A. That label, the Quad-A label, is the kiss of death. Like being on a boat with Robert Wagner or a marriage with OJ. You ain’t getting out of that. That doesn’t mean Akil Baddoo (2-for-4, 1 RBI) is Quad-A. Yabba Dabba Baddoo tore up the minors this year, and was recalled. That can be all that was. He was not as good as he was last year, which is why I told you to avoid him in the preseason, but he’s also not as baddoo as he was this year. How about something in the middle? That would be nice. Can’t be worse than what the Tigers were getting in the outfield. That’s just Grossman. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Nolan Jones – 0-for-4, hitting .412. Been remiss in mentioning Jones, according to some comments. Fair enough, I was saving my shizz for Friday’s Buy, which will be available on the Patreon later today. Also, the top 100 for the 2nd half is already released there. NoJo’s got power and a great hit tool, the Guardians do seem like they’re platooning him, which hurts the value a bit. Also, he’s not a .500 BABIP guy, as he currently is.

Shane Bieber – 9 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.24, in 96 pitches. A “Maddux” is a complete game 100-pitches-or-less shutout. This is a near-miss on the Maddux, so I call it the Mike Maddux.

Dylan Cease – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.30. Don’t think he had the good fortune of issuing an intentional walk after being up 0-1 either. Did you see this? Tony La Russa’s giant pickled brain decided to intentionally walk Jose Ramirez after one strike. The reason? Too many G&T’s at the local brew-haha is the only explanation. Tony La Russa’s brain is floating in one of those giant jars like cherries soaked in Everclear.

Luis Robert – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 11th homer, after sitting the 1st game of the doubleheader, so at least a few of you got sonavabenched. My heart goes out to you; Tony La Russa did a shot of 151 rum every day for 43 years, and now we’re all paying.

Chris Sale – 5 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, 1 walk, 5 Ks, as he was activated from the IL. Or as his autobiography says, “The Idiot Returns.” Sale can absolutely be an ace, but he’s no longer the 13+ K/9, barely-2 ERA guy that he was in his prime. I’m not even sure if he’s a 3.50 ERA guy with 10+ K/9. I like to think he is, but it’s been so long since we’ve seen him pitch healthily (that word sounds weird if said aloud), that I don’t know what we’re getting. I like to think we’re getting a #2, but we might get a #1 or a number nothing, because he’s on the IL again by August.

Trevor Story – Left the game after taking a beaner off the hand. He looked to be in severe pain, but preliminary tests say contusion. Though, preliminary tests are the tests on the way to the actual x-rays.

Corey Kluber – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.58. Been saying for months he’s a Streamonator call, and I finally streamed him. Yay me.

Kenley Jansen – Activated from the IL. I’m happy for him. Sounded harrowing and he’s healthy again, that’s a thumbs up from your baby boy. How’sever, I’d hold Smith or Minter for a few days to make sure Jansen is truly fine.

Matt Olson – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer. In an incredible turn of events, Olson did something.

Adam Duvall – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer. This will be the start of a four-homer streak in six games, or his name is not Adam Duvall.

David Peterson – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.48. I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t have started A Man Da. Peterson here, but he looked much better than I thought he would, and better than the line. Streamonator doesn’t like his next, and I wouldn’t mess with it either.

Esteury Ruiz – 2-for-4, 1 RBI as he was called up as originally speculated here and nowhere else. *Screaming* It’s happening!!! Seriously, this guy could be a difference maker, add him now.

Charlie Blackmon – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 14th homer. Eyes glazed over, Chazz Noir’s hands extended, riding side-saddle on a white horse, “I am Zombino, and I will eat your brain custard.”

Jake Marisnick – 1-for-3 and his 2nd homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Hot schmotato alert!

Michael Stefanic – 0-for-4, 1 run as he hit leadoff. Guess it’s time to give this guy some pub. *looks at his player page* Do I have to? Ugh, fine! He’s got no power or speed, but a decent hit tool. Think a poor man’s Luis Arraez. Call him Luis Asleep.

Noah Syndergaard – 4 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 4.00. I can’t believe Syndergaard is now a Streamonator call. And not even a good one.

Michael Brantley – Remains without a timetable. Someone get this guy a table to put his alarm clock!

Aledmys Diaz – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer, and his third homer in the last eight days. That’s a week, according to The Beatles.

Yermin Mercedes – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and his 1st homer. Ooh, Pebbles’s fantasy team, Ride My Mercedes Boy, looking to make a 2nd half push.

Joey Bart – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 5th homer. Wonder if Bart ever makes good on his promise (of a more reliable public transportation).

Thairo Estrada – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer, and three homers in the last three games. He went from zero to Thairo to schmotato.

Logan Webb – 6 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.82. Hey, finally, a Giants starter who’s as good as his ERA.

Bryson Stott – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 5th homer. On one NL-Only team where you basically are stuck with who you draft, I have Stott, and, up until yesterday, I totally forgot he existed. How I imagine Castellanos’s owners feel.

Jose Berrios – 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA at 5.38. The strikeout’ier the start, the sweeter the Berrios. Now, just do this for the next three months, and all is forgiven. Will he? Well, I have my doubts since the Phils weren’t with half the team in Toronto, due to vax status, and Berrios still gave up three runs, but it’s better than it’s been. Keep it going!

Freddy Peralta – Progressed to throwing bullpen sessions. Sweet, he’s gonna be the one guy who returns from a shoulder strain as good as new! Great to hear!

Andrew McCutchen – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer, and 2nd homer in his last two games. McCutchen with a little schmotato action, now for him to turn it into a Zombino. The true test.

Willy Adames – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer. Now it’s time for everyone’s favorite game, Fun With The Player Rater! Put “ss” in the box below Pos, and click the $HR column. Look who’s got the 2nd most homers for shortstops!

Jorge Polanco – 2-for-3, 2 runs, and his 13th homer, and 4th homer in the last week, and sixth homer in the last two weeks, and 13th homer in the last 13 weeks. Okay, that’s a cheat.

Gerrit Cole – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.05. If Cole didn’t shut down the Reds at home, he would’ve needed more than Billy Crystal as an excuse.

Clay Holmes – 0 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 1.37. Regression Fairies over here tap-dancing on my grave. Leave my Holmes alone! I really hate to say it, but I wouldn’t be shocked it takes less than a Joe Barlow’s worth of blown saves to get Aroldis saves again. Hopefully, Holmes can bounce back, because he’ll need to.

Aaron Hicks – Left the game with a shin contusion. Yankee fans were all very distraught when he left. Who would they yell at? Could they yell at Gary Sanchez again even though he’s on the Twins? Oh, wait, they have Clay Holmes!

Jordan Lyles – 7 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.37. Trying to think back to the last time the O’s lost a game. Was it this year? Any hoo! Looked at Lyles’s player page I wouldn’t say I Lovett.

Ramon Urias – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer. Urias is on another hot streak like that one random week he had in May. Weird, Ram-Urias skipped all of Pride Month.

Jorge Mateo – 2-for-4 and a slam (7) and legs (22). If he were hitting fifty points higher, he’d be about as valuable as Tim Anderson. Though, Tim Anderson hasn’t been as valuable as Tim Anderson, but before we make this into troll riddles to cross a bridge, Mateo’s been decent for deep leagues, but the batting average is an anchor.

Ian Happ – 1-for-4 and his 9th homer. Ian Happ’s actually become a better hitter this year. Literally, one of three guys who can claim that. Can you name the other two? Okay, Josh Bell, and who else?

Freddie Freeman – 4-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer, hitting .311. As he rounded the bases on that home run, he murmured the sound of The Chop.

Nolan Gorman – 1-for-4 and his 8th homer. NoGo is a YesGo for me. *low-fives self*

Albert Pujols – 1-for-3 and his 6th homer, and 2nd homer in the last three games since they announced he’d be an honorary All-Star. He also will be in this year’s Home Run Derby. That should be fun.

Marcus Semien – 2-for-6, 3 RBIs and his 12th homer. Must’ve been nice for Semien to get to hit a shot on, the A’s. Like a revenge f*** but with less complications.

Corey Seager – 1-for-5 and his 21st homer. Now with five homers in five straight games. “Put a sheet on me with some cut-out eye holes when he gets to seven.” That’s the Ghost of Dale Long.

Dennis Santana – 1 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.57. I just dropped him in one league before the start of yesterday’s game, and I did it because I must’ve subconsciously had a vision of a Fantasy Baseball Overlord in a toga and crown of thorns, telling me to drop him. Or maybe it was the peyote. Thank you, FBO or peyote.

Chad Pinder – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 7th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. His homer yesterday was a pinch-hit homer — Pind-hit? — and I usually don’t mention those, but the homer the day before tells me not to hang Chad out to dry.

Vimael Machin – 1-for-4, 1 run, as he hits leadoff. This guy sounds like a French author. Hey, did this guy create the character, Ty France?