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On a street corner, Arte Moreno rings a bell, “Come and get your Angels here, come and get your Angels! No one is off limits! You want Ohtani? You’re gonna have to pay the price! Say, how about you send us Brandon Marsh for Ohtani? Deal done? Terrific! What about Griffin Canning? He just threw 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, and had a career-high in strikeouts with 12 with an ERA at 4.52. You’ll give us ‘a disapproving look once worn by former Angels great, Ian Kinsler?’ Fantastic! He’s yours!” That’s Arte Moreno doing some trade deadline wheeling and/or dealing. Canning was a favorite of mine in previous years. Don’t look at which years it was I liked him, it’s too depressing how far back it goes. Right now, he’s having the best year of his career (9.4 K/9, 2.8 BB/9, 3.88 xFIP), and looks headed to top his career-high of 90 1/3 IP, assuming they don’t keep throwing him for 120 pitches per start, like last night. He gained an extra mile on his fastball, and getting hitters mostly with his change, that’s been outstanding. Streamonator loved him yesterday, and I can’t say I’d start him without pause, but he might finally be making good on his promise. The last piece will be him becoming a Tampa Bay Ray! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Shohei Ohtani -3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 35th homer, and 3rd homer in three games. Doing rough math, figuring one homer every game the rest of the way, and he’s going to hit about 106 homers this year. Not bad!

Luis Severino – 6 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 6.66. El diablo! Quite honestly, I didn’t watch this game, so I don’t know if he “looked better,” but his stat line doesn’t say he looked better. Whatever better is. It’s so subjective.

Quinn Priester – 5 1/3 IP, 7 ER, as he made his MLB debut. Think he might still be a work in progress. Biggest clue for that was he allowed a home run to Amed Rosario. As for the people who won Priester in FAAB, is that still considered a win? Also, Priester and Endy Rodríguez (0-for-4) became the first pitcher-catcher tandem to debut in the same contest for Pittsburgh since 1946, when it was Crabe Lackus throwing to John Jacobjingleheimerschmidt.

Xzavion Curry – 3 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 2 Ks, ERA at 2.86. X promised to and X did, in fact, give it to them.

Amed Rosario – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Also, in this game, Andres Gimenez (1-for-4, 2 RBIs) hit his 8th homer. If you would’ve had that prop bet parlay at Draft Kings, you would’ve won the entire company. They call that The Billy Maker.

Josh Naylor – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 13th homer. Saw recently people asking who their least favorite player was and lots of people said Naylor, citing his antics rocking the baby while rounding the bases on a homer, but I say, give me more of that! That’s what baseball needs. More giant a-holes and idiots and guys doing stupid dances like they’re rocking a baby. That is goofy and I love it! I also, secretly love Naylor for fantasy. He’s exactly the type of guy who sneakily sneaks (good English) into the top 50 on the Player Rater while everyone thinks he’s having a mediocre year. That’s the kind of guy you can grab in a trade easily. Like taking candy from the baby he’s rocking.

Wade Miley – Hit the IL with elbow discomfort. That’s why he doesn’t spell his name out using his initial from his middle name, Steven.

Shane McClanahan – 6 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.56, as he was activated from the IL. Kevin from ESPN’s “Get Him In Your Lineup” Department said, “I was snacking at my desk and I think I ate a staple.”

Yonny Chirinos – Designated for assignment. Uh-oh, Chirinos.

Josh Lowe – 2-for-3 and a slam (13) and legs (20). He must’ve heard the comments about dropping him. It’s a little wild to be dropping a guy who’s in the top 60-ish on the Player Rater, but y’all are wild.

Dane Dunning – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.82. Dunning keeps getting it…don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it…done! Damn it!

Ezequiel Duran – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 13th homer. Barely made my top 100 for the 2nd half, but it wasn’t by accident. I love me some Duran.

Grayson Rodriguez – 5 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners (2 BBs), 4 Ks, ERA at 7.33, as he was recalled. Just gave you my Grayson Rodriguez fantasy. Ain’t saying he’s fixed yet. but also ain’t saying he’s still broken. As I talk about on the podcast coming later today, Grayson is an ace, just a matter of when. He is not there yet, obvi.

Adley Rutschman – 1-for-3 and his 13th homer. I can’t hear Adley without thinking of the Old 97s. To be broken you were made, Adley… Literally, two people will get that reference and that’s fine.

Emmet Sheehan – 5 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 4.91. Seems like he’s fallen so far that I wouldn’t even mess with him if the Streamonator liked him, which it won’t more than likely.

Genesis Cabrera – Designated for assignment. The number one assignment with all Cards players is trying to get along with Marmol.

Tyler O’Neill – Will be activated today, then traded in roughly 13 days. It’ll be even rougher when O’Neill becomes an All-Star next year for the Dodgers.

Jesus Luzardo – 4 IP, 2 R, ERA at 3.34. There’s a SAG strike going on; that means no acting, so I wanna know why, in no uncertain terms, Luzardo was said to be auditioning for the Cards.

Bryan De La Cruz – 2-for-4 and his 11th homer. Imagine having a breakout season but with the same last name as the greatest phenom of the last few years. De La Crush is Elly. Sorry, Bryan, go get your shinebox!

Jesus Sanchez – 1-for-4 and his 10th homer. Nice that he’s hitting around .260, but he should be mollywhopping and instead he’s just kind of prospectflopping.

Sonny Gray – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.16. I really hate regression. It’s just so unnecessary.

Eugenio Suarez – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer. I keep saying he’s a 2nd half hitter, are you paying attention?

Ian Happ – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer. Ya know what would be nice? Happ being remotely decent in the 2nd half.

MacKenzie Gore – 6 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.59. Accidentally typed his name “MacKenzie Hore,” then looked at his teammate Thomas and said, “Lane, you ignorant slut!”

Jeimer Candelario – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer, hitting .263. Ya know what kind of year he’s having? The kind where people draft him next year, hoping for a step forward. Then, he does the same thing as this year, which is fine, but people realize that’s super boring and want to drop him the first week of the season.

Keibert Ruiz – 3-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer, and 2nd homer in two games, and hot schmotato alert!

Matt Manning – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.12. From no-hitter to notta-so-badder! Okay, so that didn’t work, but Manning is working. *bends down and snaps back like Jennifer Coolidge in Legally Blonde* That’s a very hip reference. So, I went to look at Matt Manning’s player page, and I did a little chuckle and a hoot. He looks pretty terrible. Not sure what I was expecting, but vaguely better than that.

Jordan Lyles – 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 6.05. Elias Sports Bureau said, “The Royals have Jordan and Michael Jordan Melendez, and Freddy Fermin hitting cleanup who hits like Jordan in the minors.” Incredible trivia there.

Nick Pivetta – 6 IP, 0 ER, zero hits, two walks, 13 Ks, ERA at 4.44. It was the A’s, yes. This is true, but Pivetta’s been excellent in relief. He’s been as good in relief as we all imagined he’d be as a starter. Maybe better — .124 BAA, 0.83 WHIP, 2.31 ERA and, since May 31st, he’s held hitters to .091 AVG. Just flat filth.

Logan Webb – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.11. I’m about to say in a few blurbs how the Reds have more offense than they need. That’s true, but they’re also struggling right now. So, short-term, giddy up.

Wilmer Flores – 3-for-4 and his 9th homer. Nearly made him a batty call, but something about him crying and “a batty call” that gave me flashbacks to college.

Austin Slater – 1-for-3 and his 4th homer. Someone’s trying to impress Jessie Spano.

Brandon Williamson – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.96. Hey, real pregunta here, when the Reds going to trade for some actual pitchers? Their lineup is 12-deep. It doesn’t need to be.

Jonathan India – 3-for-3 and his 14th homer. Speaking of plenty of hitters, India could comfortably hit third, and he’s hitting 5th.

Matt McLain – 1-for-3 and his 8th homer, as he hits third. Taking people a long time to realize McLain is having a huge rookie year, even after I ranked him crazy high in my top 100 for the 2nd half.

Christian Encarnacion-Strand – 0-for-2 as he debuted, but the game was suspended because there were too many fantasy baseballers excited about his prospects. To make room for CES, the Reds IL’d Newman with gastritis. With Chrisitan Encarnacion-Strand called up, the Reds freed up a roster spot by forcing Kevin Newman and Nick Senzel to eat Skyline Chili until one complained of gastrointestinal issues.