Please see our player page for Genesis Cabrera to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Not your Grandfathers Top 100 Starting Pitchers…

These baseballs are juicy. Juicier than Grandpa-Donk’s drawers the first time he visited Méjico. The juicy balls are causing some major volatility among our starting pitcher ranks this year. Few pitchers are exempt from the pitcherocalypse. Carlos Carrasco has suffered from severe constipation each of his last three outings, Tyler Bauer ate some questionable China-Buffet during May, and Patrick Corbin’s Gatorade was spiked with laxatives in Cincinnati this past Friday. Even the mythical Yusei “The Kooch” Kikuchi has required adult diapers for his two recent explosions.

As the driver of the Kikuchi Razzwagon, I do apologize for crashing us into a Porta-John these past two weeks. There’s been talk of The Kooch tipping his pitches; I like the narrative, it makes me feel a little better, but I’m not sure it’s true. His command was flat out awful in those two blow ups, as hitters teed off on his hanging off speed pitches. It was also his third time facing the A’s and second time facing the Angels; his funk may suffer from the law of diminishing fantasy returns once teams have gotten a good look.

Regardless, I can’t blame anyone for moving on in 10-12 teamers, but I might give a reach around thru this buy-window in deeper leagues. Is that a buy-window or a guillotine? Just leave me alone random italicized voice! The Kooch is a crafty veteran who will benefit from some extra rest this week, a trip to the laundromat, and a heavy dose of prune juice. Don’t be surprised if there’s another dominant run in store as we get the Kikuchi Razzwagon back up running, and deodorized, this summer.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Polish, Italian, Kielbasa, Chorizo: there’s a vast array of exquisite sausages to be discussed on the world’s foremost fantasy sausage podcast. Instead, B_Don and Donkey chat about baseball on this week’s show. DT shares one of his better terrible ideas for speeding up pace of play before the guys grind in on two rookie pitcher profiles.

The impressive, and always entertaining, Griffin Canning along with the rather disappointing Corbin Martin, headline this week’s show. Is Canning for real? Is it worth buying low on Martin? Did Grey feed Donkey Teeth today? Tune in and find out the answers to all these pressing questions as well as some hot names who might be worth picking up in your league. And don’t forget to try the cocktail weenies.
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Please, blog, may I have some more?

Carlos Correa hit the IL with a fractured rib, and will be out three to four weeks.  He suffered the injury from a massage.  Kinda makes you respect Bob Kraft more.  Correa, “That isn’t the bone I want yanked!”  Masseuse, “That is called The Bulgarian Tickler.”  You’d think a Correa’n could handle an Oriental massage. Or maybe we should be asking which Cardinals exec was working undercover as a masseuse?  This is why I just sit in a Brookstone chair for 45 minutes or until a store employee asks me to leave.  When Correa is picked 120-ish in 2020, he’s gonna be a bargain!  The Astros said to replace Correa and the already injured, Aledmys Diaz, they will go with Jack Mayfield and Myles Straw.  More like Jack Junefield!  Amiright?!  I need a nap.  *shuts eyes for five seconds, claps hands*  I’m back!  Mayfield’s tearing shizz up in the minors (10 HRs, .938 OPS), but the Prospectonator is meh on him.  As for Myles Straw, aka the Straw that stirs the Myles, looks like he has blazing speed and might hit .220 with no playing time. As a dolphin might sing at karoake, “STRAW! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!” Now bring up Kyle Tucker aka Crush Hour!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I wonder if the Rays are mad at the Yankees for stealing their style? The kings of drafting/signing and stashing are back, with a whole new crop of youngsters, and there’s some underrated names to come. While their top specs may not have the name value the Yankees, or say the Braves have, many of them are destined to make an impact on fantasy in the coming years. One of my favorite shortstop prospects calls the Rays home in Willy Adames, who is at most a year away. As well as one of the more slept on corner infield prospects in Casey Gillaspie, who could have an impact this year. In fact the Rays have a lot of high floor, low ceiling types waiting in the wings in Durham ready to become wavier wire fodder, and hot schmotato’s. Not only do we have some Top 100 types, and some floorboreds, we also have some talented far off youngsters, ’round here we call them Lolita’s, for you to crush on. Without further ado, it’s the Top Tampa Bay Rays Prospects. That’s right, it’s TAMPA! Stevie J.

Please, blog, may I have some more?