You know one of those posters where they feature celebrities from different eras that may or may not have ever been together in the same room?  Like James Dean, Mickey Mouse and Lenny Bruce standing at a bar, smoking cigarettes.  Okay, I’m pretty sure those three never hung out.  In 75 years, when we’re all dead and buried, except for maybe some of my preteen readers — YASSSSSS I never forget you! — they will decide to make a poster featuring some standouts from this year:  Trump, Hillary, Nadiya from The Great British Bake Off.  Also, on that poster will be one player from the 2016 World Champion Cubs team, the last Cubs team to win the World Series in 75 years.  Which player will be on that poster made from the last remaining tree?  I don’t think it’ll be David Ross, prolly not Arrieta, not for this year, maybe Bryant, maybe Rizzo, maybe Hendricks and maybe Jon Lester.  Yesterday, pushed forward Lester’s agenda to get on the “last tree poster” — 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks, lowering his ERA to 2.40, moving his record to 17-4, and, since the All-Star break, it’s a 1.47 ERA in 73 1/3 IP.  His ERAs over the last four years:  3.75, 2.46, 3.34 and 2.40.  And you thought Saberhagenmetrics were some contrived statistical model.  Look in the mirror, and pfft yourself.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Anthony Rizzo – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 30th and 31st homers.  HR(s) to the Rizzo!

Michael Wacha – 1 IP, 3 ER as he was activated from the DL and moved to the bullpen.  The Cards will now try to remove innings from Wacha’s arm that they put on it last year.  Cardinals aren’t the only team guilty of this.  Instead of shutting down pitchers when they should be, they pay the price the following year(s).  It’s like teams are terrible at utilizing the withdrawal method.

Kevin Kiermaier – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs with his 12th homer, hitting over .400 in the last week with five homers and five steals in the last eleven games.  No idea where I’ve heard his name before, it might — again with some stank — MIGHT be from my constant mentioning of him.

Alex Cobb – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.06.  Nope, still don’t trust him, but he’s going a long way to helping me trust him for next year.  I.e., Cobb falls backwards, I hold up my finger, saying, “Can we resume this in a few months?” then I catch him in March.  Luckily, Cobb was able to do a Jabbawockeez mid-air freeze.

Corey Dickerson – 3-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 20th homer.  Hitting near-.550 in the last week with two homers.  If I had synesthesia, the ability to see sounds, I would hear “hot schmotato” and see a doodie emoji with flame emojis wearing a jersey that reads Dickerson.

Josh Donaldson – Missed his third straight game and underwent an MRI on his hip.  Damn, this feels like one of those news reports that is brushed off this year — “Donaldson will be fine with some rest.” — then next year, he’s drafted in the top ten and when he’s doing miserably in May people are wondering why.

Marco Estrada – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA up to 3.78.  My tulpa has been telling you people to avoid Estrada, maybe now you’ll believe in conjured spirits.

Starling Marte – Could return on Friday.  Even Vince Staples could smile at that.

Clayton Kershaw – 5 IP, 0 ER, 1 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 1.81.  I don’t know if he ever tires, but I feel legit bad for the teams in October that are going to face a well-rested Kershaw.

Billy Butler – Signed a deal with the Yankees.  Butler going to the Yanks is the like the pachyderm circle of life, completing what started when the Yanks traded to the Royals Balboni.

Nick Markakis – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer.  He now has three homers in the past five games.  I’ve owned him for two of those five games.  The two days he didn’t homer.  Smooth move, Ex-Lax!

Julio Teheran – 5 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA up to 3.18.  Bad day for Teheran.  Actually, Teheran hasn’t had a good day since 1953.

Jose Fernandez – 7 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 2.99.  Good thing he wasn’t shut down three starts ago.  Important the Marlins pretend to care about the playoffs while barely being a .500 team.  Is the sarcasm font coming through on your browser?

Marcell Ozuna – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 23rd homer.  OZUNA like hitting in Turner Field.  OZUNA enjoy it more than Turner Classic Movies and Turner & Hooch.

Freddy Galvis – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 19th homer, and his third homer in the past four games.  Damn, someone’s vying to be Friday’s Buy lede.  Don’t worry, I won’t subject you to that, but you should pick up Galvis.

Jeanmar Gomez – 2/3 IP, 0 ER and his 37th save.  Phils’ manager Pete Macktheknife gave Gomez a vote confidence even though he’s been struggling recently, saying, “I thought about (replacing him) and I don’t know if that’s such a good idea only because I don’t want to send a message to him that he’s had some rough outings.”  I’m going to put aside what he said is actually the wrong message already, and applaud him for doing the right thing.  He should’ve told the reporter, “Why the effin’ eff would I replace the closer?  To sh*t on a guy that did well for us all year so we can close out win number sixty-three in an otherwise disastrous season?”

Tommy Joseph – 2-for-4, 3 runs and his 19th homer.  It’s criminal how little ToJo plays, and appropriately enough there’s too much a-resting!

Jose Altuve – Out with oblique discomfort.  This could prove to be the end of Altuve’s season.  You can see from his MRI how precarious this is.

George Springer – 2-for-5 and his 27th homer.  He hasn’t quite broken out like I imagined this year, but he’s far from a bust as the Player Rater shows.  Top 50’s not too shabby.

Alex Bregman – Left yesterday’s game with hamstring discomfort.  He started reaching for it as he was heading into third, which is totally perverted!  Any hoo!  This could be the end of Bregman too.

Nomar Mazara – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer.  He’s been so bad… Audience response, “How bad has he been?!”  Where the hell does this audience come from?!  Mazara has been so bad he has two or more hits in only three games since July 30th.

Jean Segura – 5-for-6, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 15th and 16th homers, and 3rd and 4th homers in two days.  Mean Jean rocking-the-land!

Brandon Drury – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer, and his 3rd homer in as many games.  Yes, screaming Drury makes you sound like Sloth from The Goonies, but damn is he hot!  Drury want Baby Ruth?

Charlie Blackmon – 3-for-5, 2 runs and his 27th homer, and 2nd homer in as many days.  *spritz, spritz*  That’s nothing.  *blows on wrists to dry cologne*  I’m Chazz Noir.

Daniel Descalso – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer.  I saw he homered on Monday and I was like, “Whatevs, it’s Daniel Descalso.”  Now, I see he homered in his 2nd game in a row and I’m like, “Stop considering Daniel Descalso, you’re embarrassing yourself!”

Hisashi Iwakuma – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.87.  If you can avoid Pujols and Trout, you get a little Graterol, Petit and Ortega.  You follow baseball all season, you’re even here in September, and you have no idea if I made up the names Graterol, Petit and Ortega.  That’s what you get vs. the Angels.

Kyle Seager – 1-for-4 and his 29th homer, hitting .287.  He’s blown through his career high in homers, and is on pace for a career high in average.  Yet, I just want to talk about his younger brother.

Kevin Gausman – 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.43.  In his past 33 IP, he’s only allowed 3 ER.  A lot of pitching right now is based on matchups vs. how good the pitcher is, but Gausman should just be owned.

Rick Porcello – 8 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.12, moving his record to 20-4.  The AL’s pitching is such a giant bowl of meh that I’m seriously not sure if there’s anyone else that could get the Cy Young in the AL.  Do you give it to Chris Sale for S’s and G’s and Ks?

Junior Guerra – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.81.  Next year, Guerra’s gonna been in that same “I don’t know what to do” with his teammate, Hernan Perez, but I’m leaning towards not wanting any part of either of them.  Guerra is the more confusing of the two, and I’ll definitely need to look closer at him this offseason, but he’s 31 years old, and 31-year-old rookies don’t usually have long shelf lives.

Domingo Santana – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 8th homer.  Don’t really have time for baby steps, Bob, but Domingo started vs. a righty and hit a home run off another righty.  Granted, it was The ‘Dorf.

Scooter Gennett – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer, hitting near-.300 in the last week with two homers.  Could be a rising schmotato.  By the way, Scooter is such an awful nickname, I’m going to call him ScooGe.  ScooGe is so much better.  I got you, ScooGe!

Carlos Rodon – 5 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.04.  Way to finish strong.  You schmohawk.

Josh Tomlin – 5 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 4.75.  Tomlin’s had a terrible half, kinda like All of Me, before the feel-good conclusion.  Stream-o-Nator likes Tomlin’s next matchup, and yesterday may be a sign he can be trusted again.

Coco Crisp – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 12th homer.  He usually hits them in bunches, but he’s been hideous since his trade to the Indians, so if you grab him, it’s a bit of a lark, which would make you a Coco bird.

Tyler Skaggs – His forearm MRI came out clean.  The mother from My Big Fat Greek Wedding sprayed it with Windex.

Brian Dozier – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 41st homer, but moments after that Mark Trumbo hit his 42nd to stay in front of him.  This is better than Sosa/McGwire!  Due to the lack of the unsightly bacne.

Kurt Suzuki – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 8th homer, and 2nd homer in the past three games.  Suzuki’s no Sidekick, because he’s got a hard top, Amigo!

Ian Kinsler – 4-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, hitting .282.  If Ian Kinsler were a character in The Man in the High Castle, he’d be Frank Frink.

Luis Sardinas – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 1 RBI and his 3rd steal.  Damn, Sardinas packed stats into his line like…um…can’t think of something that is packed tightly for Sardinas.  Can I get a hint?

Hunter Strickland – Bochy said that Strickland was unlucky on Tuesday when he coughed up runs like a butthole having an allergic reaction and would still be called on to close games.  Derek Law could also be a possibility for saves.  In other words, if this were April, Sergio Romo would be the closer by May, but we don’t have that kind of time to sift through options, so this is a total shizzshow, bullpen shituation, and only Strickland’s worth owning.

Wilson Ramos – 1-for-3 and his 21st homer, hitting .304.  After he hit the home run ball, he screamed, “There’s only one L in Wilson!”  I think that was a Contreras call-out.

Tanner Roark – 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.75.  For the mostly meaningless stat of day, Roark has more scoreless 7+ IP starts than any other starter in the majors (9; next closest Arrieta with 7).  For a completely unrelated stat, the social media director of the Mayo Clinic saw Tanner and Melancon being discussed and was almost 30% sure it pertained to melanoma.

Wilmer Flores – Headed to see a doctor about his sore wrist.  He’s also looking forward to getting a lollipop.

Robert Gsellman – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.08.  Doesn’t Gsellman look like one of those high school languages you use so adults can’t understand you?  Like Pig Latin or Oppish.  No?  Okay, guess it’s just me.  For Gsellman, I’d use the Stream-o-Nator, which likes his next start.

Jacob deGrom – Threw again on Wednesday, along with Steven Matz.  These two should get a room!  Maybe at the Hotel California because that song is really about dead arms (I think).

Yordano Ventura – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER.  Doode, I’m sorry, that’s pathetic.  It’s the A’s and you’re home.  Ventura, go pick a fight with yourself in the mirror and get beat up.

Sean Manaea – 5 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks, but pulled after 67 pitches because he’s nursing a back injury.  I also don’t trust him in away games.  Watch out, boy!  He’ll chew you up!  Ooh…He’s a Manaea.

Ryon Healy – 2-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI, hitting near-.400 in the last week with three homers.   You know the dealio.  On a related note, the A’s lineup has Maxwell/Semien, which sounds like the goal for a sperm bank heist by a group of black girls.

192 Comments
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Tokyofantasy
Tokyofantasy
5 years ago

Hi Gray,

Need some advise for Carlos Martinez. ROS schedule:
Sep 19 @COL T Anderson
Sep 25 @CHC Hendriks
Sep 30 vs PIT Brault
With 2 bad matchup coming up, is he droppable for a streamer and if possible pickup again for 30 Sep? Or should I cross fingers and start him for 19 & 25 Sep? I need ratios and W.

Thanks!

The tone ranger
The tone ranger
5 years ago

For Sunday:

[email protected]
Wisler vs was
Bettis vs sd
Miranda vs hou
Asher vs mia

Can you recommend 2-3 are they all bums??? Thanks

The tone ranger
The tone ranger
5 years ago

For Sunday:

[email protected]
Wisler vs was
Bettis vs sd
Miranda vs hou
Asher vs mia

Can you recommend 2-3 are they all bums??? Thanks

Scrapski
Scrapski
5 years ago

Grey
First year users here- father and son diggin your SOLID advice/ come to Green Bay for a PackAttack and I’ll grill you a monster steak!
Thanks for everything this season.
Fans for life!

Tracy
Tracy
5 years ago

Grey-On the off chance that you are still providing advice after 10 hours today [bless you], which of the following batters would you pick up for the rest of the week?

Drury, Kiermeier, Souza or C Dickerson

Thanks for the entire season!

Tracy
Tracy
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: You are the best!

ebudz
ebudz
5 years ago

10 team H2H Points
Pitcher Scoring: WIN (+3), LOSS (-3), IP (+3), K (+1), BB (-1), SAVE (+3), HOLD (+1), ER (-2), HIT (-1), SO (+3), NH (+10), PG (+15)

Hey Grey I’m actually up by 86 right now but my opponent still has the following starts lined up over the next few days:
Wainwright @SF
Colon vs. MIN
F. Hernandez vs. HOU
Maeda @ARI
he’s also still rostering Liriano who is @LAA next and I’m sure he’ll go into desperate streaming mode soon…

As you know my plan was to use 23 out of 24 starts before Sunday. Right now I’m at 19 starts so we had 4 more picked out before Sunday but I’ve lost two of those now. De Leon’s start is actually Sunday now and Colon was picked up so should I use two more here or maybe just one?

9/16
L. Weaver @SF (2.0)
McHugh @SEA (-0.6)

9/17
Carrasco vs. DET (24.7)*
Taillon @CIN (14.5)
Price vs. NYA (13.8)*
Lugo vs. MIN (11.2)
E. Santana @NYN (10.4)
Paxton vs. HOU (10.3)
J. Gray vs. SD (6.9)
McHugh @SEA (0.7)
Urena @PHI (-2.3)
Leake @SF (-7.7)
Finnegan vs. PIT (-14.0)

ebudz
ebudz
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: That’s what I thought! Thanks again brotha!

xdb
xdb
5 years ago

Got playoffs starting monday need some advice! Steals, Net steals, Ops, 3b, tb added categories
C Grandla
1b belt
2b schoop
3b franco
ss lindor
if tea turner
outfield marte, trout, kepler, jd martinez
util asdrubal, todd frazier
bench jank, bour, grichuk

w/l/hr/era/whip/
P Carrasco, Darvish, Danny duffy, Nova, hellickson, price
rp strickland, barraclough, edwin, hudson, giles

Streamers available since i don’t have a pitcher until thursday , David price
Rubby de la rosa @pads Monday
Gsellman vs braves Tuesday
manaea vs astros Tuesday
perdomo vs dimaondbacks Wednesday

xdb
xdb
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: which hitter/pitcher do i drop for these streamers

xdb
xdb
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Which streamers?

Garbage Day
Garbage Day
5 years ago

Hey Grey –

Gyorko, Cron and Grichuk are hurtin’ me a lil bit.

Looking at these guys as possible replacements.

Dickerson
Ozuna
Drury

Would you make any changes there chief?

Thanks!

Glory daze
Glory daze
5 years ago

Hey Grey
Would you drop Grichuk for Drury
I need RBI “s and HR”s
Grichuk seems to be cold over last week

Alps88
Alps88
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey:
Great
Thanks

Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
5 years ago

Hey Grey – for tomorrow, TRON says to start Kiermaier (@ BAL, Jimenez, $34.5) over Springer (@ SEA, F-her, $8.6).

In an OBP/OPS league on the hunt for counting stats and ratio help, do you agree?

Thanks!

Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Thanks!

Carmichael Show
Carmichael Show
5 years ago

I’m chasing saves … do you like Siegrest (4 games @SF) or Hudson (4 games vs LA)?

Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Reply to  Carmichael Show
5 years ago

@Carmichael Show: For what it’s worth, Oh was supposedly expected to be available yesterday if a save situation arose

Carmichael Show
Carmichael Show
Reply to  Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
5 years ago
Carmichael Show
Carmichael Show
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Thanks

Huddy
Huddy
5 years ago

Will need a SS next week for Semi finals if Bregman is out, ADiaz or Galvis? Thanks

Raoul Duke
Raoul Duke
5 years ago

Padres’ front office ordered their athletic trainers to create a clone copy of Wil Meyers before the season started that way they were protected in case Myers got hurt in the home run derby. What the public doesn’t know is the real Wil Myers did suffer an injury on that fateful night and has been in hiding since then, so the clone could take over in his place. The problem is the Padres’ athletic trainers didn’t get the cloning process right, and consequently Myers’ production has fallen off a cliff. MLB has started an investigation as cloning is highly frowned upon by the new commissioner.

Raoul Duke
Raoul Duke
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Haha. nice. Does that show come with your seal of approval?

ashtray
ashtray
5 years ago

In our 12 team league we can keep 2 guys at the round he was drafted. If you pick him up as a FA then he costs you the last pick of the draft (23rd round). I was able to nap Stanton as he was dropped after his injury. He’s a no-brainer in the 23rd as one of my keepers for next year, right?

DonnieB
DonnieB
5 years ago

If you need saves? Please rank Ottavino, Strickland, Maurer and Kintzler? Thanks and good luck to you in any leagues you are in….!

Scott
Scott
5 years ago

Gurriel or Healy?

Scott
Scott
5 years ago

Brandon Drury or Hernan Perez?

ryanoger
ryanoger
5 years ago

h2h league–we count R-HR-RBI-SB-TB-AVG-W-SV-K-HLD-ERA-WHIP

I’m down 1 in W’s
I’m down 2 in SV’s
I’m up 1 HLD to his 0
Currently losing ERA and WHIP

I have 2 moves left. I have 4 SPs left (opponent has 6 SPs left): De Leó[email protected], [email protected], [email protected], and Lugo home MIN.

My RPs shake out like this:

F-Rod
Oh (hopefully back tonight)
Rivero

1. Should I use my moves to chase W’s or should I chase for SV’s?

SPs up for grabs:
Montgomery home MIL
Weaver @ SF
Miranda home HOU

RPs up for grabs:
Gomez Pit, Mia
Ottavino SD
Maurer @COL
D Phelps @Phi (in the bullpen to help with ratios and possibly hold)

OR

2.Try to get some SANGNOF going..currently down 2 to 3 in SBs

Could grab:

Skinny Dee– for the weekend
Souza– for hot bat and SBs
J Dyson– for his spot starts

Sorry for the crazy phrased questions, thanks so much man!

ryanoger
ryanoger
Reply to  ryanoger
5 years ago

@ryanoger:

*that’s Luke by the way…

ryanoger
ryanoger
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey:

thanks man, appreciate it!

TYLER
TYLER
5 years ago

Any worries about starting Tanaka @ BOS tonight?

Scott
Scott
5 years ago

Then I see Daniel Descalso is hot and heading back to Colorado and I’m like, hmmmm.

daze
daze
5 years ago

I have been riding the Buxton wave.
the last 5 games he is 2 for 15 with 1 run and 1 rbi
In a keeper league he would cost $12 next year to keep
Is the ride over. is he worth keeping?
I would try and pick up Drury or Markakis off waivers.
Drury is 1st choice.

daze
daze
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey:
that’s what i thought
he is o for 2 today with a K
Thanks

From Beyond
From Beyond
5 years ago

I have a limit on starts for the week… which one of these guys sits?

Thanks!

Ubaldo v TB (-$5.9)

Matt Moore v ST ($9.7)

Luke Weaver @ SF ($2.0)

Lugo v Min ($11.2)

Taillon @ Cin ($14.5)

Scott
Scott
5 years ago

Looks like the Bats got to the Pelfrey.

Hugman
Hugman
5 years ago

I’ve only been using the streamonator for three years now, but still feel like I’m not 100% sure I’m using it right. I’m curious, what do you consider the streamonator liking a start? any positive value? Because Gsellman’s next start is 1.something. I usually only go near double digit values for streams.

Scott
Scott
5 years ago

Dee Gordon with 2 Runs and 3 Steals yesterday. Not newsworthy?

Scott
Scott
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: You’re a giver!

ElBoss
ElBoss
5 years ago

No love for Alex Cobb getting a 2 hitter against the Blue Jays?

ElBoss
ElBoss
Reply to  ElBoss
5 years ago

@ElBoss: Ricky Jarret says, “Where is the Love?”

ElBoss
ElBoss
Reply to  ElBoss
5 years ago

@ElBoss: you watch Ballers right?

ElBoss
ElBoss
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: I thought the same thing, but ended up comin back to it, and enjoyed the second season.

ElBoss
ElBoss
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Yeah, Danny Mcbride is a G, he inspires me.

Scott
Scott
5 years ago

OK, I ended up keeping Gyorko and dropped a middle reliever for Kennys, all of them. So far so good!

Fred Garvin MP
Fred Garvin MP
5 years ago

Rich Hill vs. AZ (Bradley) 13.5, yay, meh, or nay?

Btw, I prefer Scoo G Rap as a nickname for Milwaukee’s second baseman.

Fred Garvin MP
Fred Garvin MP
Reply to  Fred Garvin MP
5 years ago

@Fred Garvin MP: Hill is @ AZ

Fred Garvin MP
Fred Garvin MP
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: haha

knucks
knucks
5 years ago

I am on a teleconference right now with the Mayo Clinic and want nothing more than for someone to make a subtle baseball comment, so that I can steal your joke! I’d assume it would not go over well with these broads though…

knucks
knucks
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Totally cosmic. My girl made chicken salad for lunches today. I’ll give her your card.

Steve
Steve
5 years ago

Better bat (tomorrow)

Souza @ BAL
Dickerson @ COL

jb
jb
5 years ago

Morning Grey,

Who’s your catcher next week: Gary Sanchez or stream one Yadier Molina, Brian McCann, Tom Murphy or Nick Hundley?
P/U Taijuan and drop Rodon?
Hot schmoes: Ryon Healy or Brandon Drury?

Have a good un!

Earl Deep Jr
Earl Deep Jr
5 years ago

Grey! Currently tied in steals and down two hits in h2h for the week. Looking to stream a bat today. Thoughts on Maybin or Dickerson? I think Maybin fits the scenario a little better, albeit a small sample vs Santiago, meanwhile Dickerson is white hot and has mashed Gallardo’s face in during his career…lead me to the promised land.

Earl Deep Jr
Earl Deep Jr
Reply to  Earl Deep Jr
5 years ago

@Earl Deep Jr: Maybin out of the lineup! Thanks grey! Dickerson we go.

Phil of the Future
Phil of the Future
5 years ago

Junior’s back!! Take me to the promised land, please….

And G, you know I love you, but don’t think I don’t know that if you owned Segura somewhere he’d have been the lede. Dude’s hotter than the core of the Earth! Give me two more weeks of this please I beg you!

Phil of the Future
Phil of the Future
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: I believe you, of course. Just tell him to save some homers for next week, k?

The JoGarza
The JoGarza
5 years ago

First off, the post title is a candidate for Headline of the Year. Give Rudy some major props there.

Second, trying to get ready for the semis in my 12-team H2H OBP. Want to stream a STL hitter as they visit Coors to start next week.

Who’s the better play, RHH Jedd Gyorko or LHH Brandon Moss when the pitchers are:

LHP Tyler Anderson (Has never faced STL)
LHP Jorge DLR (Moss 2-for-4, but Gyorko has outright owned him)
RHP Jeff Hoffman (never faced STL)

JoeG414
JoeG414
5 years ago

Friday:
Jimenez Home vs TB
or
Buchholz Home vs Yankees – Tanaka
6×6 roto

knucks
knucks
Reply to  JoeG414
5 years ago

@JoeG414: Yikes. Not comfy with either of course, but if forced to pick one, I’d go Ubaldo. He’s been pitching better. SON has them both in the negatives though as far as value for the day. Good luck Joe!

knucks
knucks
5 years ago

Are you following that @BaseballInColor guy on Twitter?

He posted a picture yesterday of an unconscious Babe after he ran into a wall in 1924. Pretty cool follow.

Scott
Scott
5 years ago

Regarding Donaldson, that’s why you should always keep fighting in your league. You never know when the leader’s star player is going to go down.

omar
omar
5 years ago

Start or sit Snell @ Baltimore today?

Thanks

Scott
Scott
5 years ago

Drop Gyorko for Vargas? I’ve been using him as my backup 1B, but with Diaz back…

Don Majikowski
Don Majikowski
5 years ago

Like Liriano @ LAA Saturday?

VinWins
VinWins
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Do you like Liriano vs San Diego in Yellowstone?

Scott
Scott
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Do you like Green Eggs and Ham?

FKA Ralph
FKA Ralph
5 years ago

I thought for sure Segura would be the lede and “Pour Some Segura-on Me” would be the headline.

I had him in my lineup yesterday and was cussing when Galvis hit a HR on my bench. Then boom.

Is this the real Jean Segura from a keeper perspective. I will be choosing from him, Judge, maybe Arcia as a final keeper.

Grassy Knoll Redding
Grassy Knoll Redding
5 years ago

Hey Grey,

Great write up! I guess you’re telling us to B. Ware of Coco? And that Ryon Healy blurb leveled me!

Tanaka hasn’t let me down, but since we’re going strictly by matchups down the stretch, I’m obviously wary of any game @ Boston. Yet Tanaka seems to be even better away from home. Am I crazy for wanting to start him there?

Also Domingo Santana over Zobrist down the stretch?

Thanks a lot!

Happyharry
Happyharry
5 years ago

Hey Grey, 12 team, H2H, 6×6. I need to p/u two SP’s for my Mon/Tues playoff game. Which two out of this group?
Pineda vs. TB, Cotton vs. Hou, Musgrove vs. Oak, T.Walker vs. Tor…..Thanks.

Gareth
Gareth
5 years ago

G3!

Gareth
Gareth
5 years ago

Not a fan of the September roster expansion. Pirates could have put Marte on the 15 day DL, thereby creating a streaming spot for me. But no. He just sits on my bench for 10 freaking days.

Gareth
Gareth
5 years ago

And today’s earworm is “maneater” apparently.

Thanks Grey!

papasmurf
papasmurf
5 years ago

I picked up Drury to sub for the struggling Longo. One game later he’s gotta slide over to sub for Altuve Smurf while I gotta put Longo back in the lineup…

Altuve, Stanton, Salazar all down. And can’t do anything but play Longo… it ain’t lookin’ good for the blue ones.

And I dealt away Price in a trading deadline brainfart deal.

YC
YC
5 years ago

Hey Grey- in a 12 team weekly with a keep forever format. Clinging onto first. There’s no trade deadline and it’s a 2 catcher league. About to make an insanely one-sided trade against myself: my Gary Sanchez for his Porcello.

Porcello has 2 starts next [email protected] and @TB. I don’t care about the future…just want 2 wins. Any faith in those starts?
Thanks.

YC
YC
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey:

If Porcello gets 2 Ws and 18 Ks next week I would grade the trade as a win/win. If he does that I most likely win the league. If not I have to roll with someone like Straily and his 2 starts – and possibly lose. I’m not worried about keepers – I have plenty of keepers. I was curious to know your thoughts on the starts – the first one is tough.

JeF WiTh 1 F
JeF WiTh 1 F
Reply to  YC
5 years ago

@YC: You could be getting back Kershaw and getting two wins is still not guaranteed…Don’t make a trade chasing wins, too many variables.

Wilsonian
Wilsonian
5 years ago

After steamrolling my league all season, I’m losing in the 1st round to the 4th place team. I need some schmos to pick up the slack over the weekend. See any moves?

My team of questionable losers:

JUp
Grichuk
Polanco
Grandal

Available Schmos:

Gattis
Dickerson
Galvis
Souza
Domingo
X-Files
Realmuto

8 Team H2H – H, R, HR, RBI, SB, AVG, OBPS

Rufus T. Firefly
Rufus T. Firefly
5 years ago

Thanks, Grey, for making pretend baseball extra extra fun! Man, I’ll miss reading this ridiculous stuff all winter. I plan to contribute some $$ and urge others to do so as well.

Also, Anthony Rizzo. Mr. Reliable in a world of strained hamstrings.

Who’d you rather have at 1b next year?

FKA Ralph
FKA Ralph
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: I think he’s asking if Rizzo is your top 1B next year. If not, who is ahead of him? Au Shizz?

knucks
knucks
5 years ago

Would you hold and start Adonis at 3B the rest of the way? I grabbed Drury for a 3B batty call today. Ride Drury’s hot streak into the sunset instead?

knucks
knucks
5 years ago

Thanks for the Hishashi instead of Skaggs rec for my QS stream this week.

Also, I’m fairly certain it was the faja in the Greek wedding movie who sprayed everything with Windex. The fact that I’m confident enough to tell you that is just sad.

ryanoger
ryanoger
5 years ago

Dug the write up man! Vince reference was nice.

JWray
JWray
5 years ago

Grey,

I’m debating about grabbing Colon at Home vs. MIN for tomorrow and then Lugo for Saturday as streamers. Would both be a good idea or just one or the other, or neither?

Thanks.

JoeG414
JoeG414
5 years ago

Sunday’s Stream ?
Miranda Home vs Hou
or
Bettis Home vs SD – Chad’s last four home starts : 24.2 IP , 6 Runs

Strolg
Strolg
5 years ago

In your ad for Chazz Noir it should say ‘Like Brown Sugar On A Cracker!’

Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
5 years ago

Making starry eyes at Segura RN!

1. Batty call for today (categories are OBP/OPS HR R RBI SB)? Looking at Napoli v Shields; Kiermierer v Gallardo…Tron likes both.

2. What would your top 2 choices be out of the below, primarily for QS?

E-Rod @NYY (son not a fan)

Grienke v LAD (positive SON but gave up 8 v lad last time)

Dickey @ LAA

Chatwood v SD in Coors

Colby Lewis v OAK (son ambivalent, but he has a high QS score)

3. Would you start tron-loving Schimpf @ Coors this weekend (fri chatwood, sat gray, sun Bettis) over Kang (Stephenson, double header Saturday descla and Finnegan, Strailey) or Segura (en fuego x 10, but facing maeda Friday and de Leon Sunday).

Thanks!

Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Reply to  Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
5 years ago

@Duda Want to Build a Snowman?: FYI: E-Rod is 2.70 / 0.81 in his last 30 days + Yankees as a team are .247 / .689 OPS v. LHPs.

Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Reply to  Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
5 years ago

@Duda Want to Build a Snowman?: Sorry! I also left off KUHL @ PHI ($1.3 SON), who are .236 / .689 v. RHPs.

M
M
5 years ago

I usually put much thought into drafting my players each year however when I drafted the elder Seager this year I used no statistical analysis thinking hey he’s always been a solid player but he should take his game to the next level because as an older brother he doesn’t want to be shown up by younger bro Corey that everyone else is paying attention to.

Ante GALIC
Ante GALIC
5 years ago

Grey!

Excellent write-up! Enjoyed, especially Gsellman’s blurb.

a. True story! ‘Member in the 80s when cassette tapes were all the rage? A guy in an after hours booze can I attended was 100% convinced that the company was called Maxwell (instead of Maxell, dur), hence the Maxwell/Semien blurb. It was 60% the booze and 40% his brain talking. Not bad, right?

b. Horatio Caine (aka CSI Miami) quote of the day (September 15)

Barista: What can I get you?
Neal: Hi, I’m Neal.
Barista: Okay, Neal. You thirsty?
Neal: Oh, uh Mojito.
Barista: You got it.
Neal: You know that rum sales have grown because the Mojito is so popular? I’m sorry. I can get a little Rain Man; I see numbers in everything. Oh I’m an accountant.
Barista: You’re not a regular in here.
Neal: It’s that obvious? Uh, my brother asked me to meet him here. And he’s late, as usual.
Barista: Okay. Oh I’m so sorry.
Neal: You clumsy cow.
Braden: Hey, buddy, she said she was sorry.
Neal: I’m not your buddy.
Barista: Look, let me get you a towel.
Neal: How about you get me your manager? Because you just lost your job.
Braden: Hey! You bumped into her.
Neal: Who the hell are you? How about you get out of my face?
Barista: Oh, my God. Really? Braden, stop! Hey! I’m calling security. Everybody go back to your drinks. Oh Are you okay?
Braden: Oh I’ve never been in a bar fight before.
Barista: I couldn’t tell.
Braden: Did you see that punch I landed?
Barista: Your one, his ten. Yeah, I saw.
Braden: Wow.
Barista: You didn’t have to do that.
Braden: Yeah, I did.
Barista: Um, why don’t you go clean yourself up? And when you get back, drinks are on me.
Braden: I’ll get back with you girls. I got to go take care of business.
Barista: You killed him.
Braden: No. I didn’t.
Eric: So that’s what you saw? You sure that’s what happened?
Barista: I never saw a dead body before. I freaked out. I got out of here. I called 911.
Eric: How’s that possible?
Barista: I saw them fight. That’s it.
Eric: You have a clear line of sight to the men’s room.
Barista: I don’t know what to tell you. You know, he was just sticking up for me.
Eric: But then the last time you saw Neal, he was headed to the men’s room.
Barista: Yes.
Eric: H., I thought somebody called in a dead body.
Horatio: They did, Eric.
Eric: Nobody out there knows where the suspect is or the dead body. There’s no drag marks on the floor.
Horatio: And there’s only one way out of here, gentlemen.
Eric: If you get out of the bathroom, there’s an exit in the back hall, here. No witnesses saw the suspect leave, though.
Horatio: So how did they get the body out?
Eric: Well, either somebody’s lying or this Neal guy’s Houdini.
Horatio: And that’s (cue the queue of sunglasses) what it would take.

Cheers,
Ante

Philsfan76
Philsfan76
Reply to  Ante GALIC
5 years ago

@Ante GALIC:
This might be a dumb question, but does anyone actually read these? i prefer going back to the fact of the day from Jef. Just my .02c.

Vinny Boombatz
Vinny Boombatz
Reply to  Philsfan76
5 years ago

@Philsfan76: Always scroll over this and TV,music,movie discussions.

Tigres
Tigres
Reply to  Vinny Boombatz
5 years ago

yo, i read every comment of every post. and that’s why I’m in FIRST! Ante, keep up the field reports, I’ve actually got work peeps in Abeche. and grey, keep up the TV reviews but don’t tell me what happened on MR robot episode that I missed last night!

JeF WiTh 1 F
JeF WiTh 1 F
Reply to  Philsfan76
5 years ago

@Philsfan76: LOL

The Hebrew Hammer
The Hebrew Hammer
5 years ago

Hey there Grey! Is the streamonator’s love of Berrios tomorrow @NYM a fluke, or would you stream him?

JeF WiTh 1 F
JeF WiTh 1 F
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Would you touch me?

JeF WiTh 1 F
JeF WiTh 1 F
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: That’s a yes…thank you