Prospect Itch started touting Tucker Davidson in 2019, then added this year, “A hard-throwing lefty with command issues.” Just about sums up Tucker Davidson, doesn’t it? If you saw the clip of him this winter at Driveline, you know why his name is Tucker, because he was throwing in his underwear. He doesn’t jam hitters, he will Jame hitters, as in Jame Gumb. Tucker Davidson isn’t a game show host, he’s a Jame show host. He doesn’t just drop in a 79 MPH curve, he puts it in a basket and lowers it into a hole. His stuff — well, impressive, but nine of ten dentists agree there will be caveats. Since it was one of two games on early yesterday, I watched Davidson (5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 5 BBs, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.31), and he looks like he is a bad luck start away from a 2/3 IP, 7 ER outing with very little idea where the ball is going. Luckily, the hitters don’t really know either. Could see using the Streamonator, and maybe risking it all for the rookie nookie, but he’s dangerous, due to his command. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Dansby Swanson – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 10th homer, and 2nd in two games. Please bring your hands in, we’re closing the Buy Low Window.
Patrick Corbin – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 6.28. Early on Corbin had a shutout, and I was screaming, because I benched Corbin this week to start C-Mart and Paddack as I am absolutely owning the day and the night, but then the Gods of Patrick Corbin Is Not Good showed up. Thank you, Gods of Patrick Corbin Is Not Good, though your grammar is weird.
Charlie Blackmon – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer. Please get hot, Chazz Noir, and I promise to buy all the harlequin romance novels where you’re on the cover.
Jake Odorizzi – 3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 7.16. Predator blood is in the same locker room, you can’t grab some?
Martin Perez – 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.09. Certain guys you might notice are not high on my list to talk about. Sometimes they get mentioned on short schedule days because, well, there’s nothing else to talk about. Marty P. is one of those guys. I don’t mention guys who have 6 K/9 and terrible walk rates. Dot dot dot. Until now. Whoa, Martin Perez eating his Wheaties? His peripherals now: 8 K/9, 2.8 BB/9, 4.21 xFIP, using xFIP there, because his homers allowed is a bit suppressed for him. Fenway sucks, and Perez has a long track of not being good, but his numbers are legitimately better than past years. Could say Streamonator for him, but it will never like him, due to his large sample of sucking. You might be able to try him, but it will have to be against the robot wishes.
Yuli Gurriel – 3-for-4 and his 8th homer, hitting .310. Could Yuli be heating up already? It’s not even Juli.
Kolten Wong – Left the game with an oblique injury. Why did we ever invent the oblique in 2009? It’s a story as old as time. Man invents body part, body part gets injured. 120 years ago, some dumb scientist guy was like, “Hey, this is a kidney.” Then someone got a kidney infection, drank a bottle of medicine called “cocaine,” and died. Stop meddling in science!
Christian Yelich – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer, hitting .253. Will be interesting to see how Counsell rearranges the lineup if Wong is out. Does he move everyone up, hit Vogelbach leadoff and get carted away to a mental asylum? Or does he put the .126-hitting Hiura at leadoff?
Avisail Garcia – 1-for-3 and his 11th homer, hitting .246. Without exaggeration, Avisail has been the one Brewer on offense who hasn’t been offensive.
Jackie Bradley Jr. – 2-for-3 and his 5th homer, hitting .160. JBJ’s claim to fame was three walks in his Major League debut. That was eight years ago and also his best game ever.
Luis Urias – 1-for-2 and his 7th homer, a pinch-hit jobber, but also his 2nd homer in two games, and, tell all the housewives, we have a Wong replacement.
Madison Bumgarner – Hit the IL with shoulder inflammation. Diamondbacks said they are hoping he can make his next start. Oh…*watches every Ken Burns documentary, then*…kay.
Ketel Marte – 4-for-5, 1 run, 1 RBI, hitting .375. Oh em gee, I love him.
Carson Kelly – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer, hitting .283. He cooled a bit after his injury stint, so hopefully this is the return of Carsonio — woo woo woo!
Vladimir Gutierrez – 5 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 2.70. I watched him for about four innings during dinner. However, I’m currently in the desert, and, because everyone here is over the age of 80, there’s no indoor dining yet, so I was sitting outside at dinner, in the 105-degree heat, with the sun shining onto the TV screen. So, Gutierrez looked like a glare.
Jesse Winker – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer. He’s hitting .348 on the year, and hitting behind the leadoff man, Eugenio Suarez (0-for-5, 1 run) who is hitting .158.
Ke’Bryan Hayes – 2-for-4, 1 run, hitting .333 as he was activated from the IL. Kevin from ESPN’s “Get Him Back In Your Lineup” Department said, “When I’m on vacation, I go by the name Skip Hassles.”
Bryan Reynolds – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer, and four homers in the last week. He’s not in this afternoon’s Buy column, because I think he’s rostered in more than 50% of leagues, but, honestly, I’m not sure. If he’s available in your league, no reason to not grab him.
Elieser Hernandez – Left the start with what looked like a six to eight weeks-type injury. He hurt himself running the bases, which is the number one thing people want to watch pitchers do. Next is hitting, then bunting, then pitching. That order.
Logan Webb – Hit the IL with a shoulder strain. If Aaron Sanchez returns within a few days from his shoulder strain, well, I’ll say that’s a little too coincidental.
Anthony DeSclafani – 6 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.51. Wood screwed us, and, similarly, Anthony got us recently in DeScla-fanny, but you have to start Giants’ starters at home.
Brandon Crawford – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 12th homer, hitting .255. Crawford is pretty emblematic of the Giants. He’s been so successful with little fanfare for fantasy — fanfaretasy? — just like the Giants quietly have the best record in baseball.
Joc Pederson – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, hitting .236. At some point, he’s going to retire, and people will look back at his career, and be like, “Why did he always hit leadoff?”
A.J. Pollock – Activated from the IL. Fun fact! Pollock was the first artist to get a compliment on his drip. As for A.J., if he’s playing, it’s a solid lineup to grab counting stats.
Jonathan Villar – Day-to-day with his hamstring. With the Mets, that means an August return.
James McCann – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, and 2nd homer in two games, and possibly the hottest hitter in baseball. Catcher or otherwise.
Fernando Tatis Jr. – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 17th homer. FTJ is so special he misses a handful of games, returns and doesn’t miss one single beat.
Edward Olivares – Optioned to the minors. In Kansas City, they call the Whopper, a ‘Royale with pleas to keep Olivares up.’ Welp, that sucks, but we’ll see him again soon.
Salvador Perez – 2-for-4, and his 13th and 14th homer, hitting .284. Sal P. is killing all narratives this year. A) A catcher can’t play every day. B) After a big contract, a guy won’t play well. C) There’s no C.
Hunter Dozier – 1-for-4 and his 7th homer, hitting .153. His average made me search to see who had the worst average for a regular, and, congratulations, Hunter Dozier!
Josh Donaldson – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 6th and 7th homer. More importantly, no calf injuries.
Justin Upton – 1-for-3 and his 11th homer. Wow, didn’t he just go hot schmotato streaking? Or did he not stop? Like someone saying Altuve is tall, it might be the latter.
Jared Walsh – 1-for-4 and his 13th homer. People were talking yesterday in the comments about Walsh hitting sixth and Phil Gosselin hitting leadoff. Yes, it’s a horror film called, The Maddoning.
Griffin Canning – 3 1/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 5.82. At home vs. the Mariners? Oh, fire Canning into orbit. He’s done-zo.
Kyle Lewis – Mariners are hopeful he can return at some point in 2021. Yeah, if the Mariners manage to make the playoffs. “Wow, that is the first time a team is no-hit three games in a row in a best of five series.”
Kendall Graveman – Headed to do a rehab assignment. He’s been in quarantine since May 16th. For some reason, that reminds me of this picture of someone’s grandmother:
Andrew Vaughn – Hit the Covid IL. Corresponding move was recalling Gavin Sheets, who is mostly known for his IBS.
Yoan Moncada – 1-for-4 and his 5th homer, hitting .299. Going to guess he has a .375 BABIP. Okay, now I will check. HAHAHAHAHAHA–What is the deal with Moncada and insane BABIPs? .375 is barely 50 points from his actual BABIP. How does he have two of the past three years with BABIPs over .400? That’s not rhetorical. Seriously, dubya tee eff? Okay, fine, I’ll check why myself. Wow, his walks are great! His HardHit% is amazing! His xBA is .292! Damn, he’s really transformed into a solid hitter, and I sent away Jake Diekman to trade for Moncada.
Yasmani Grandal – 1-for-3 and his 7th homer, hitting .137. The anti-Moncada average. The number of walks Grandal is taking is pretty impressive for an 80-year-old senior in a mall at 7 AM, it’s even more impressive for him.
Lance Lynn – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 1.23. That’s it, I’m flying to Chicago to carry Vin Diesel movies around by Lynn to ward off the Regression Fairies.
Tim Anderson – 2-for-4 and his 6th homer, hitting .296. Tim doesn’t slip, time does; listen to Steve Miller.
Willi Castro – 1-for-2 and his 4th homer, hitting near-.350 in the last week, but it’s been a dearth of anything for a long time from Castro. Though, not as long as Yermin Mercedes (0-for-3). What’s Mercedes hitting since Tony Lol Russa irrationally called him out for hitting a home run?
Casey Mize – 7 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.34. If you must know, his peripherals are yawnstipating. They don’t make me Smize, trademark Tyra Banks.
Ryan Yarbrough – 9 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.95. Kevin Cash has damaged me so badly that I saw Yarbrough’s line and I thought, “Wow, he pitched into the 10th inning, after starting in the 2nd?”
Ji-Man Choi – Out with groin soreness. Me too when I see him do splits.
Austin Meadows – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 5 RBIs, and his 14th homer, hitting .244. This offseason Austin Meadows found Joey Gallo sleeping on a park bench, extracted his DNA and injected it into his veins.
Gerrit Cole – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 2.26. Not a fan of top pitchers, but this game was screaming, “Domo arigato, give us umps that are Mr. Roboto.”
Miguel Andujar – 1-for-3 and his 3rd homer, and 3rd homer in the last four games, and 15th homer in the last ten hours. OH EM GEE, my Man-dujar is hot. He will be in this afternoon’s Buy column, which is already on the Patreon.
Gleyber Torres – 0-for-3. Not to pick on this dude two days in a row, but it looked like he got into one, and the ball sailed out about 270 feet for a lazy fly ball out. Yo, we don’t want no scrubs. A scrub is a guy that thinks a weak fly is a home run.
