This draft was so slow that I lost half my starting rotation before the draft ended.  This draft was so slow that when it started Minnie Minoso was still alive.  This draft was so slow when it started Tupac was still dead.  I didn’t enjoy my time last year in the 15-team NFBC slow draft.  I drafted Mark Trumbo, Prince Fielder, Cliff Lee, Anibal Sanchez and Patrick Corbin and my only chance was a big year from Nadir Bupkis, who gave me just that.  See, there’s no waivers and the league is 50 rounds deep, so if you’re hit by injuries, you’re done.  So, I was talked into doing the league one more time, but knew I had to draft starters early and often, and, of course, prior to the draft even completing I lost Zack Wheeler and Tony Cingrani.  Many will disagree with me, but I’m under the firm belief that it’s a lot harder and more fun to win a league like a Razzball Commenter League, than it is to win a super-deep league.  With super-deep leagues, if you’re hit by injuries, you’re done.  That’s neither fun nor challenging.  That’s just shizzy luck.  You can say I should’ve known Wheeler and Cingrani weren’t safe, and I’d say to you that neither are any of the pitchers that are healthy all year.  They just happened to stay healthy.  It’s not like the guy that drafted Alex Cobb is any smarter than the guy who drafted (insert pitcher that is healthy right now that may not be healthy by the time you read this).  How’s dem grapes?  Sour!  Anyway, here’s my 15-team, 5×5, roto, NFBC slow draft team and thoughts:

C: Mike Zunino
C: Hank Conger
1B: Carlos Santana
2B: Scooter Gennett
SS: Hanley Ramirez
3B: Adrian Beltre
MI: Alcides Escobar
CI: Eric Hosmer
OF: Adam Jones
OF: Wil Myers
OF: Denard Span
OF: Steven Souza
OF: Dexter Fowler
UTIL: Colby Rasmus
Bench:  Welington Castillo, Jordan Pacheco, Mark Reynolds, John Mayberry, Logan Forsythe, Omar Infante, Jake Lamb, Zack Cozart, Francisco Lindor, Zoilo Almonte, Shane Victorino, Kevin Pillar, Domingo Santana

P: Jeff Samardzija
P: Zack Wheeler
P: Mike Fiers
P: Tony Cingrani
P: Jake Peavy
P: Danny Salazar
P: David Robertson
P: Francisco Rodriguez
P: Jeremy Hellickson
Bench:  Anthony DeSclafani, David Buchanan, Jhoulys Chacin, Jason Marquis, Miguel Alfredo Gonzalez, Wei-Yin Chen, Randall Delgado, Danny Farquhar, Marco Gonzales, Colby Lewis, Aaron Nola, Brett Oberholtzer, Adam Warren

HOW DEMORALIZING IS IT TO LOSE YOUR 2ND AND 4TH STARTERS PRIOR TO THE DRAFT ENDING?  YOU CAN GIVE IT TO ME ON A SCALE OF 1 TO SEPPUKU.

Seppuku.  Definitely.  By the by, my autocorrect wanted to change seppuku to Giuseppe.  So, I’m guessing there’s a lot of Japanese people reading their iPhones, trying to decipher who the hell is this Giuseppe and what did Giuseppe do to drive their loved ones to disembowel themselves.  I already went over the luck involved in a league this deep in the intro so I don’t want to belabor the point, but, I mean, c’mon, can’t Samardzija and Peavy hurt themselves already to get the pain over with?  Actually, that would just begin the true pain, because then I’ll be starting Colby, Buchanan, DeSclafani and Oberholtzer.  Note to self:  If you have an Oberholtzer on your fantasy team, reexamine life.  Oh, and I didn’t even mention Fiers has shoulder problems.  I’m in good shape!  *high fives self*

YOUR HITTING DOESN’T LOOK THAT BAD.  OKAY, WHEN COMPARING IT TO YOUR PITCHING.

My hitting doesn’t look bad if, and this ‘if’ needs its own zip code, they all stay healthy.  I have no sort of depth on offense.  If Santana, Beltre and Hosmer are hurt at the same time, I have Mark Reynolds and John Mayberry and Jake Lamb…um…Well, I have a good excuse for not having more corner backups.  That excuse is my pitching was falling apart in media res, so I went starter crazy, sacrificing my hitting depth.  I have some flexibility due to Pilates.  My team also has some flexibility since Santana can go to 3rd, Hanley presumably to the OF, Reynolds can go to 1B or 3B and Mayberry can play 1B and OF.  When I say “play,” you know I’m stretching its definition, right?  Good.  Having been in one of these leagues last year, I know that the pitching injuries I’ve been hit with are only the beginning.  I’m sure at some point my starting lineup will have in it Infante, Mayberry, Pillar and Boeuf Welington.

YOU SURE ARE PUTTING A LOT OF PRESSURE ON K-ROD AND ROBERTSON.  SHOULDN’T YOU HAVE MORE RELIEVERS OR DID YOU BUMBLEFUDGE THAT TOO?

If Robertson or K-Rod get hurt and King Farquhar doesn’t steal some saves, I’m finished in ye ol’ saves category.  But whatevs.  Something I learned from last year is since there is no waivers or daily transactions, you end up missing most vulture saves even if you own the players getting the vultures.  Last year, I had Joe Smith and I might’ve got three saves from the 15 he recorded.  I’ll explain.  It’s Monday and Fernando Rodney goes down with a sore hamstring.  You can’t get Farquhar into your lineup since lineups have already locked, so you miss out on a week’s worth of vulture saves.  The following Monday rolls around and Rodney is supposed to return on Saturday, so you decide to put Farquhar into your lineup for almost a full week’s worth of vulture saves.  Unfortch, the Mariners don’t get one lead for the next week and on your bench you waste a perfectly good spot start by Delgado.  So, you either have a closer in your lineup or a starter.  Starting a middle reliever for 2 IP, 2 Ks and the hopes for a save is a waste of time.   It’s almost like it’s SAGNOP, Saves Ain’t Got NO Place.

HOW ABOUT YOU STOP COMBING YOUR WELL-MANICURED MUSTACHE AND TELL ME HOW YOU THINK THIS TEAM WILL DO?

My calculations on my starting lineup are $32.1 for runs, $23 for HRs, $29.3 for RBIs, $39.2 for SBs and AVG is at $34.2; pitching comes out to $13.8 Wins, $15.9 Saves, $16.9 ERA, $16.2 WHIP and $20.2 Ks.  In other words, my hitting is tight, boi!  And my pitching is light, boi!  You prolly could’ve guessed that just from looking at it.  I’m hoping to throw quantity over quality to rack up Wins and Ks while praying my ERA and WHIP aren’t that bad, then score on my hitting.  In theory, this sounds like a good plan.  Will this actually work?  Yes, if the apocalypse comes tomorrow and the season is cancelled and we reward the championship to the best team in theory.

 
  1. Kiss a Bum says:
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    With the following pts system is it a good idea to target Billy Hamilton and Dee Gordon?

    Runs (R) 1
    Hits (H) 1.5
    Triples (3B) 2
    Home Runs (HR) 1
    Runs Batted In (RBI) 1
    Stolen Bases (SB) 1
    Walks (BB) .5
    Ground Into Double Play (GIDP) -2
    Thank you.

    • Rubik's Pube says:
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      @Kiss a Bum: Depends on if it’s a super deep league or not but speed doesn’t really play too well in points leagues. The scoring system you listed is kind of bizarre though. More points for a hit than a home run? Since hits count for the most points, I would target guys who get lots of hits and walk a lot. Gordon and B Ham aren’t going to hit into a lot of DP’s because they’re so fast but they aren’t great hitters and they don’t walk much either. Gordon is probably going to score a lot of runs as long as he gets on base at a decent clip and he’ll hit lots of triples playing in Crayola Canyon.

    • dscottncc says:
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      @Kiss a Bum:
      So for the sake of comparison with your scoring system i ran my projections for Billy Hamilton vs. Ryan Braun who usually goes for more in auction drafts. Braun gets a -34 from GIDP from last years numbers why Bham only gets -2.

      Braun still takes overall points with 458.5 projected points
      vs. Bhams 451.5 projected points

      Hope this helps, he probably has more value then normal leagues, but still don’t bump him to high

  2. Blint says:
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    Genuine question Grey- Why would people play in such kind of a league format? No waivers or trades :O This is worse than Fantasy Football

    • Ra'zball Al Ghul says:
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      @Blint: Yeah, feeling similarly about it. Wouldn’t blame ye for ditching the format in the future. Toutwars I get, Trout fWAR I like, RCL da bomb, Ozuna eat fish. I see the beauty in having to nail the draft but sheesh

      • Nude Intruder says:
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        @Ra’zball Al Ghul:
        Yeah dude, chance operations are dicey!
        John Cage would’ve loved him some roto.

    • Cram It says:
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      @Blint: Because you don’t have to work hard during the season. Oh yeah, and you can win a lot of goddamn money!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Blint: Yeah, I’m not a huge fan, but some people like it… Plus, you can win big money in the big money leagues (like $150,000, I think; this isn’t one of those leagues)

      • The Great Knoche says:
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        @Grey: $25,000 = Peanuts now that skrilla is coming in from Streamonator/Hittertron

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Ha!

  3. Ante GALIC says:
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    Grey!

    Great article! The team is as good as it gets. Here’s hoping your hitters hit harder and your pitchers do better than expected. If not, well there’s always next year. Maybe it’s better that you got your injuries out of the way early and hope your opponents’ injuries come later as you pass them by in August / September.

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • FrankGrimes says:
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      @Ante GALIC:
      this guy cracks me up

    • Catcher Fever says:
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      @Ante GALIC: I could have sworn a few weeks back this guy blasted posters for sucking at the teet of Grey? Yet every day he posts how sliced bread has been replaced…? So confused.

      • Malicious Phenom says:
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        @Catcher Fever: Ante defends Grey, he would not blast any posters for anything..He is just a fantasy baseball guy like the rest of us, trying to have a little fun, is the way I see it..

        • Anti GALIC says:
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          @Malicious Phenom:

          Malicious Phenom!

          Gr8 post man! Really Gr8 stuff. Here’s to hoping that your American themed clip art thumbnail reminds these other posters why we’re here!

          A) I agree, fantasy baseball is fun bro!

          B) In my 4 team league (kind of shallow!) would you drop Max Scherzer for Mike Trout?

          C) That Albert Belle guy still give me agada!

          Cheers,
          Anti

      • Ante GALIC says:
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        @Catcher Fever: For me, this is the most transparent way of really practising what Grey preaches. No holds barred, door wide open, take it or leave it. It’s not ass-kissing, it’s a simple statement of facts. You can attribute it to cause and effect, you can attribute it to chaos theory, you can attribute it to good karma / bad karma. It’s all up to you. Looking at the draft, seeing the result of having two top pitchers wiped out, it’s not a fantastic event. But he’s throwing it out there for everyone to see and I’ll champion that ’til the cows come home. Hope you’re less confused.

        Cheers,
        Ante

        • Happy Vegans says:
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          @Ante GALIC: right on!

  4. Ralph Lifshitz

    Ralph Lifshitz says:
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    Played in a 20 team league like this with a bunch of hippies from Tahoe. They liked the no wavier-weekly moves format because they were so stoned most of the time that they couldn’t remember to change their rosters more than once a week. They also thought waivers and trades can be “unfair”. Hippies ruin everything! Except maybe VD’s and grilled cheese sandwiches.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Ralph Lifshitz: “Hippies ruin everything!” is your bumper sticker, why do you not have that?

      • Ralph Lifshitz

        Ralph Lifshitz says:
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        @Grey: On the phone with my Bumper Sticker Guy as I type this…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          If his name is Tom, we have the same Bumper Sticker Guy and that’s just weird

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: is your sticker “My other woman is Giancarlo Stanton”?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Mi novio…

  5. Uncle Red says:
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    How concerned do we need to be about Encarnacion’s back? He isn’t a spring chicken, but I’m sitting with the 12th pick in a 12 team OPS H2H league. Of course, I was also looking at Tulo. Having both on my team could kill me.

  6. Steven says:
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    Grey,
    You recently answered my question about keeping one hitter/one pitcher (Goldy/Chapman) Ten team points league and have the 5th pick after the other 9 have kept their 1/1. My next question is how should i adjust my draft strategy in a keeper league? I used to use first 4 rounds for hitters only and then start pitchers in 5th round, but unsure of the strategy i should use since i’m keeping a RP instead of a SP since JV unfortunately was my best option. Would you still go for hitters or get a SP early since I don’t have one? Thank you so much for your help year in and year out

    Steven

    • Steven says:
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      This keeper league also has rules that you cannot keep the keeper that you kept the previous year. So unsure if that would impact who you draft for next seasons keeper.
      Thanks again

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Steven: I’d still go for hitters, you don’t need a top 10 SP in a ten team league

  7. Beastman says:
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    Need one more team for a Razzball league. $100 buy in, 3rd year running the league.

    Draft is this Sunday at noon eastern time.

    Email [email protected] to join

  8. JeF With 1 F says:
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    That blows losing Wheeler and Cingrani before the draft is even done…takes a toll on how you finish that draft.

      • Happy Vegans says:
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        @Grey: I can’t confirm but i heard they are moving Cingrani to the pen and bumping his innings. At his current K/9 that puts him near 100Ks for him if this actually happens.

        Hey, that’s what I heard, so…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, went over him the other day…

          • Happy Vegans says:
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            @Grey: Oops, then that’s where I heard it. Pay no attention to the man with the bottle of jack and pizza stains on his shirt.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Vegan pizza?

              • Happy Vegans says:
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                @Grey: The best! GF crust, veggies, vegan cheese, faux meat toppings… mmmmmmmm

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Soyrizo?!

  9. Matt says:
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    Grey, what do you think about this 6×6 roto 15team keeper team for this year? Don’t like the Weaver/Hawkins picks but had to nab a 2nd closer at th auction.

    C-Y.Grandal LAD
    1B-D.Ortiz BOS
    2B-D.Gordon MIA
    3B-C.Davis BAL
    SS-B.Zobrist OAK
    CI-M.Machado BAL
    MI-A.Escobar KC/Valbuena HOU
    OF-CarGo MIL
    OF-Puig LAD
    OF-Ozuna MIA
    UTIL-Blackmon COL/Howard PHI

    SP-Scherzer WAS
    SP-Kluber CLE
    SP-Arrieta CHC
    SP-Kazmir OAK
    SP-Weaver LAA
    RP-A.Wood ATL
    RP-B.Cecil TOR
    RP-Hawkins COL

    BN: Rodon
    BN: Buxton
    BN: Haren
    BN: Hammel
    BN: Petit

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Matt: You look exact opposite of mine… Your pitching’s better than your hitting, so you need guys like Machado, Zobrist, Ortiz, etc to hold up their end of the bargain

      • Matt says:
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        @Grey: yeah it was a weird draft a bunch of hitters were going wayy overpriced over their auction values-Betts went for $27, Miggy went for $50 and Tulo went for $45 and guys like Trout Goldy E5 Abreu Stanton kept (Every previous team has been hitting over pitching) relying a bit much on Ortiz, Machado, Puig and Davis

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Gotcha

  10. PhillyYorker says:
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    Carlos Gomez for first waiver position (Kris Bryant) in a keeper league?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @PhillyYorker: how long can you keep a player?

  11. SallyCips says:
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    How do you these long drafts work even? Is it segmented? Do folks get a day to make a pick? I can probably just use the ol googily googily, but for sake of the room…

    Also, drafting an injured player and realizing it is the worst, I know that’s not what happened here, but yeah same feeling. Burned a draft spot on Cliff Lee sadly the weekend he went down.

    • SallyCips says:
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      @SallyCips: Correction: drafting an injured player and realizing it is the worst…should be drafting an injured player is the worst. That’s what I get for writing without coffee.

  12. Jason E. says:
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    If there are no waivers, I am assuming there are no DL spots? If you do not mind, I have a few more questions/comments for ya…
    1. When is Span expected back? He will be a nice addition to your OF.
    2. Are trades permitted in your league?
    3. I really like your offense, but your pitching has some interesting names that could prove to be beneficial throughout the year.

    Thanks for the article, it was an interesting read. I have only heard of these slow drafts, but have never participated. Good luck!

    • Natsochist says:
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      @Jason E.: Given the typical recovery time, plus a minor league rehab assignment, May 1 seems the current reasonable assessment.