Yaisel Puig‘s home runs are so effortless they’re like Billie Jean King and Billy Dee Williams only needing to say, “40-love?” to hook up with a girl in the 70s.

Somewhere, Ashton Kutcher is struggling to come off as smart.  He is exerting more energy than Yasiel Puig on his home runs.  When Yasiel Puig is in El Zono Loco, pitchers should be chicken.  When Puig is locked in, he looks as good as all the Cuban graphic novels that were written about him in Fidelphia.  Of course, just as quickly as Puig gets everyone’s hopes up, he collapses under his own hype.  He’s a (ba)con artist?  I’d absolutely own Puig right now that he has three homers in two games (2-for-3, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and a double slam (3) and legs (1) yesterday), but I wouldn’t be surprised if by May he’s back to disappointing.  (By the way, the pitch speed on that homer is 78 MPH.  HAHAHAHAHAHA– Oh my God, I can’t breathe!  Member that old timey film of Bob Feller throwing faster than a speeding motorcycle?  They should have Weaver go against a speed-walking senior citizen.)  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brandon McCarthy – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Stream-o-Nator loved this start, like it loves writing itself notes to boost its self-esteem.

Wil Myers – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer.  True story, I first wrote his name as Mil Wyers, then I laughed hysterically.  What, I’m sharing with you.

Hunter Renfroe – 3-for-4, and his 1st steal.  A guy with 40-homer power shouldn’t have the proclivity to be stealing bases, he just shouldn’t.  You also shouldn’t say proclivity in social situations or you will be punched.

Jered Weaver – 5 IP, 4 ER.  Jered Weaver is the perfect pitcher to get around SoCal.  Weaves through traffic and will never throw fast enough for a speeding ticket.

Mookie Betts – Tentative to play today as he battles the flu.  “You russlin’ for some ‘Tussin?”  That’s my impersonation of a Duck Dynasty character getting a cold.  I’m like a written word Rich Little.

Drew Pomeranz – Due to the rainout yesterday, Pomeranz will now return on Tuesday.  Or as John Fogerty would say, Ranz to the dance on Tuesday.

Jason Hammel – 5 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 2 Ks vs. Kyle Gibson – 5 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks.  This matchup was billed as “Hey, you wanted to play in an AL-Only league so the Twins and Royals starters matter.”

Byron Buxton – 0-for-4.  Oh my God, I feel like I’m watching Rocky during the Apollo/Ivan Drago fight.  Throw in the towel, Buxton!

Max Kepler – 2-for-4, 1 RBI.  Aw sookie, the guy who sounds like a character in The Man in the High Castle is starting to come around.  Goose step, Max, goose step!

Brandon Kintzler – 1 IP, 0 ER and his 1st save.  *deep inhale*  Ah, cheap saves.  That’s better than the smell of the mist when peeling an orange.

Mike Moustakas – 2-for-5 and his 2nd homer.  Moistasskiss!

Salvador Perez – 2-for-4 and his 1st home run.  Aren’t you glad you held the catcher you drafted for a whole three days?

Geovany Soto – 2-for-3, 4 RBIs and two homers (1, 2).  You’re such a Sneaky Pete for value, I will call you Geovany Ribbies.

Matt Davidson – 2-for-3, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer.  Some call Thursday “getaway day,” but with the White Sox I will call it “get a load of this crap they’re playing” day.

James Shields – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners (5 BBs), 5 Ks.  A note about the roundups, if I point out walks for a pitcher, it’s either very good or very bad.  Five walks in five-plus innings is not of the good variety.

Matt Boyd – 2 1/3 IP, 5 ER.  A Boyd named spew.

Matt Harvey – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Considering the price Harvey was going for in drafts, I kinda wish I drafted him in a few leagues.  I mean, his price was that of nothing.  Though, four Ks and two homers yesterday?  You gotta admit he’s not completely himself.

Matt Kemp – 2-for-4 and his 1st and 2nd homers, hitting .462 on the season.  For those who missed it, I bet the Braves to win the World Series this year — $20 bet wins $3,000.  So, excuse me, but I need Kemp to go H.A.M.!

Andrew Triggs – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 1 K.  Okay, okay, ohhhhhkay!  It’s not wonderful, but I have Triggs in a very deep league, and am thrilled with this backend ground ball pitcher.  (If only I didn’t start Chacin earlier this week.  That still hurts.)

Ryon Healy – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer.  If I had a DeLorean, I’d go back to March and draft Healy on every team.  I might’ve Mr. Bungled this one by not getting him.  He feels like he’s going to be drafted like a Kyle Seager next year.

Garrett RichardsAngels say it was simply a biceps cramp and his arm problems had nothing to do with him giving Tommy John surgery the “talk to the hand” sign.  Then, later on, the Angels said they were sending him for a precautionary MRI.  Oh, just one of those things!

Tyler Skaggs – 5 1/3 IP, 5 ER. Isn’t it fun when preseason hype makes way for, “Oh, yeah, this guy had a 7.23 ERA last year in the only full month he pitched?”

Adam Eaton – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer.  Fun fact!  His name backwards “notae mada” is Italian for Post-It.  For example, “This notae mada?”

Gio Gonzalez – 6 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks.  This pitcher mada?  In some leagues, Gio could mada.

Jayson Werth – 2-for-4 and his 1st homer.  He really no mada.  Okay, I’m done with that.

Ryan Zimmerman – 2-for-5 and his 2nd homer.  Seven more homers until an injury?  Six more?  No one wants to take a side?  I’ll say he gets to eight homers and then hits the 10-day DL.

Blake Treinen – 1/3 IP, 0 ER.  Conspiracy Theory Alert!  Dusty really wanted Glover to be his closer, but management was like, “We will put a toothpick dispenser at the edge of the dugout stairs as you asked for, but we want Treinen,” then Dusty was like, “A’ight bet,” and has pitched Treinen in every game this year, and will continue to do it until the club comes around to Glover or Treinen’s arm falls off.

J.T. Realmuto – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer, and 2nd in as many games.  Somebody’s trying to get above my ten-homer projection.

Corey Dickerson – 2-for-4.  Yesterday, I said hot schmotato.  Today, I’m saying yup.

Blake Snell – 6 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners (5 BBs), 5 Ks.  I told anyone that would listen yesterday not to start Snell, but that brings me to my larger point.  When can we start Snell?  I’m not sure ever with all his walks.

Kendrys Morales – 1-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 1st home run, a grand slam.  He made Snell pay for all his walks like he was his bitch and Morales was a dog walker!

Marcus Stroman – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks.  See this?  This will hopefully be Snell next year.

George Springer – 1-for-3 and yet another homer (3).  I kept saying Springer is a 2nd round pick with upside.  You listen?  No, you didn’t or are you being coy and you’re gonna say you read instead?

Marwin Gonzalez – 1-for-3 and his 2nd homer.  Mike Trout — 1 homer; Marwin — 2 homers.  Ah, first week of baseball, you unfeeling bastard.

Mitch Haniger – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 1st homer.  He’s on the cusp of a breakout; you can almost feel it.

Chris Herrmann – 2-for-3, 1 run.  Is it weird that my biggest want right now is Herrmann to become a thing?  Hmm, that sounds un-PC.  I mean, I want Herrmann to be the Diamondbacks’ catcher and hit 20 homers.  More clear?

Paul Goldschmidt – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 2nd homer.  Au Shizz!

David Peralta – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 1st home run.  I wrote a sleeper post for Peralta in the offseason, and I still believe he can be a top 30 outfielder.

Robbie Ray – 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Wasn’t beautiful, but at least he didn’t have his assFIP handed to him.

Jake Lamb – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer.  He’s baaaaaaahd, he’s baaaaaaahd, he knows it.

Jeff Samardzija – 5 1/3 IP, 6 ER.  Somehow I have Samardzija on multiple teams this year.  Obviously, writing 400,000 preseason words about rankings and players wasn’t enough for me to avoid going back in the ‘zija.  Pray for me.

Daniel Nava – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and two homers (1, 2).  Ugh, the batty call that should’ve been.  I was between him and Michael Saunders (0-for-4) and, of course, I chose Summer Saunders.  I’ll never forget this blunder.  *two seconds later*  What was I talking about?

Drew Storen – 1 IP, 0 ER, and his first save.  Just yesterday I said the Reds’ closer job was Raisel’s.  Left side of the brain, “Nice call!”  Right side of the brain, “That cloud looks like an albino marshmallow Peep.”  I still think Raisel will get the bulk of saves, barring injury, but he had some issues in the spring, so it’s understandable he won’t pitch on back-to-back days.

Adam Duvall – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 1st home run.  Check out the crowd in this gif.  The Reds need to stop doing “Dress Up Like A Seat” Day.

Ryan Braun – 0-for-1 as a pinch-hitter, after getting yesterday off.  Yeah, he had played a full two days already this season.  Remind me to come back in my next life as someone who makes $19 million for six months of work and takes a day off the first week.

Keon Broxton – Left yesterday’s game after taking a pitch that careened off his melon flap and his nose.  He walked off the field with a bloody schnoz.  The Brewers said he broke his nose, but he won’t be DL’d, because he lives his life like Thames shaves his beard, badassly.

Neftali Feliz – 1 IP, 1 ER.  Kazaam!

Antonio Senzatela – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks,  Senzatela means business!  Wait, no that’s negocio.  Senzatela looked good in the minors (7 K/9, 2 BB/9), and he was dropping 96 MPH pretty easily yesterday in the clips I watched, but, well, ya know:  Coors.   A rookie in Coors is like having elective surgery to remove a kidney.

Mark Reynolds – 1-for-4 and his 2nd home run.  The Buy/Sell is back later today, and you know Mini Donkey will be in this afternoon’s Buy column.  You can hardly wait.  No, you!

Nolan Arenado – 1-for-3 and his 1st homer.  Took me almost four hours, but I think I’ve finally collated all my commemorative hotel lounge napkins.  Wait, what’s that?  NOOOO!!!  Torenado!!!

Stephen Piscotty – Should return to the lineup today, which would mean the Cards will have decide on the tandem of Gyorko/Wong.  Hey, sounds like my Friday night too!

Lance Lynn – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks vs. John Lackey – 6 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks.  I have both of these guys on more teams than I care to admit.  Five teams, are you happy?  Stop badgering me!  I had a small case of ticker shock in the first inning, but a Zobrist error caused an unearned run.  Overall, I’m happy with both guys still, though neither really exceeded expectations.  Stupid expectations ruining life with, uh, expectations!

Kyle Schwarber – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer.  “What’s this dried paste on your jeans?”  That’s Joe Buck’s mom doing his laundry.

338 Comments
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Wil
Wil
5 years ago

You won’t regret not having Healy. I own him in 1 of 2 been watching as many of his at bats as I can. He’s got to do a better job with pitch selection. He has potential but I think he needs this season to work out some kinks. I’d be surprised if he hits over .250 this year. I know he’s hit for a good average at every level but when you walk 4% of the time and swing at bad pitches good things won’t happen. He’s got some pop but again I don’t think you’ll regret not owning him. I think you were searching for this reassurance so here it is…

Andrew Mellars
Andrew Mellars
5 years ago

Head to head league. 10 team with shallow benches. Do I add Puig?

gattis
Freeman
trae Turner
Villar
K seager
Betts
Blackmon
Benintendi
J Baez
Pitching
C Martinez
McCullers
Duffy
Harvey
Velasquez
Nova
R Ray
Edwin Diaz
Ramos

Do you see anybody I should dump for Puig?….. I also have Ian Desmond on IR.

JoeC
JoeC
5 years ago

My OF5 spot so far:

1. Drafted Dyson
2. Didn’t like him batting 9th or his slow start (that’s right, 3 games of 162!)… dropped for Margot because, honestly, my team couldn’t steal a base if 1st and 2nd were 2 feet apart.
3. Held Margot for a day, but itchy trigger finger, who knows what this rookie nookie is gonna do (or more likely, NOT do), picked up David Peralta b/c hey, he once hit for .300. That means something doesn’t it? Shandler says “if a guy does something once, then he can do it again”. I wonder what he thinks about Chase Headley?!
4. Now I sit and wonder: did I do wrong? Should I have been more patient with Dyson? He really was the only base-stealer on my team. They still have that cat in fantasy baseballs, yeah?

Jim
Jim
5 years ago

I was offered Kendrys & Addison Russell for Correa.
Hosmer is my 1B now.
Should I do it?

dustyfingers
dustyfingers
5 years ago

Dahl is sitting out on waivers and I have an open DL spot. Drop Dickerson, Shaw or Thames for him? I’m not convinced on Dahl.

dustyfingers
dustyfingers
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Thanks!

Jim
Jim
5 years ago

I was offered Kendrys & Addison Russell for Correa.
Hosmer is my 1B now. Thoughts?

Fungazi
Fungazi
5 years ago

Hill already DL with a blister? That bro should have worked up his calices in the offseason.

Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
5 years ago

Anyone know if Joe Ross is starting during week 2? Setting weekly lineups tomorrow…

*WHERE ARE YOU [PITCHING] NOW [AS IN NEXT WEEK]?!*

Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: WHERE ARE YOU NOW JB?! I know he dropped Joe Ross, but we both know they’re still texting . . .

peacecoast
peacecoast
Reply to  Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
5 years ago

@Duda Want to Build a Snowman?: wtf was he sent down again? 10 day minimum?

jon
jon
5 years ago

Polanco is so frustrating… up to bat TWICE with bases and NADA.. WTF lol

peacecoast
peacecoast
5 years ago

Folty not looking sharp today sadly

peacecoast
peacecoast
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: PHEW that leftie got him our of the jam…

I am also got Daniel Norris who is obviously sitting this Sunday vs the Red Sox.

Would you drop either of Folty or Norris for Gio, Wheeler, Cobb or Glasnow, Ryu? keep in mind weekly FAAB so I have to live with the decision till the next Monday.

daze
daze
5 years ago

Hey Grey
What to do what to do
In a 12 team league
Alex Gordon 1 for 12
I know its a marathon not a sprint. I know its only the 1st week
But…
do i dump him or keep for a little while longer
options in FA are
your boy Zimmerman
Duda , Headley,Domingo Santana, Joey Gallo and Corey Dickerson
At this point all categories are needed

J-FOH
J-FOH
5 years ago

There is some guy snoring in the bathroom right now. He must be reading fangraphs. Note: I love fangraphs but damn half those articles are boring as duck

FrankGrimes
FrankGrimes
Reply to  J-FOH
5 years ago

@J-FOH:
They need more gifs!

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: I read some. The stats for sure. But for reals some of th roto graphs stuff is garbage. I’ve seen one guy who I know from twitter just blow dudes from his favorite team as pre season picks. It’s like have some damn integrity. People are going to draft these guys based off your work and you have nerve to suggest guys from your favorite team with the worst support ever. Im talking knoche and MP kind of analysis.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: that’s ridiculous. That same person better be slamming all the people who love trea turner too.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: wait . A bold prediction post that you are wrong?… that’s my pie!

peacecoast
peacecoast
Reply to  J-FOH
5 years ago

@J-FOH: They write about minutiae too. I just scan their articles now and then.

Roger Podacter
Roger Podacter
5 years ago

“Blessed Are the forgetful for they get the better even of their blunders.”

…. And that’s me quoting Kirsten Dunst quoting Friedrich Nietzsche!

Great write up as always, got a new rap on Monday for ya! Great weekend, happy mustache growing!

My Seven Rizzos
My Seven Rizzos
5 years ago

in a 12 team keeper, points league, that has start limits, would you rather have:

Mike Montgomery
Archie Bradley (RP for now)
Bush
Devenski

thanks brother!

OaktownSteve
OaktownSteve
Reply to  My Seven Rizzos
5 years ago

@Notorious PING!:

Montgomery
Devinski
Bush
Bradley is my order

FrankGrimes
FrankGrimes
Reply to  OaktownSteve
5 years ago

@OaktownSteve:
Oak who would you drop:
Casilla or Madson?
Going to grab devenski.

OaktownSteve
OaktownSteve
5 years ago

Oh yeah by the way, impossible not to notice when watching that Charlie Morton start that Paxton looked sick. The late armside tail on 97 is brutal. His breaking stuff is super sharp. Insert obligatory IF HEALTHY.

Here’s my discount pitching staff in the NFBC 15er.
Hill
McCullers
Harvey
Paxton
Dan Norris
Morton
Musgrove
Gsellman
Tyler Anderson
Kintzler
Feliz
Storen

peacecoast
peacecoast
5 years ago

Jeff Samarpineda

Mike
Mike
5 years ago

Which side do you want?

Duffy /Seager or Salazar/Gray/Bregman

Thanks!

Mike
Mike
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Kyle!

Sorry!

Mike
Mike
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Jon!

Mike
Mike
Reply to  Mike
5 years ago

@Mike: if it were Gausman in place of Salazar, would that make a difference?

Malicious Phenoms
Malicious Phenoms
5 years ago

Corey Seager on the bench for game 1 in Coors? Rocks throwing a lefty..

Malicious Phenoms
Malicious Phenoms
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey:
Agreed! Dude missed most of spring training, dude needs to be in the lineup..Dude has already had enough days off!

I swear the majority of ex players have zero clue how to manage a baseball team!

FrankGrimes
FrankGrimes
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: no Parra either

FrankGrimes
FrankGrimes
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey:
that’s why you’re the FmL!
I have buxton so 0-5 4Ks haha.

OldMilwaukeePounders
OldMilwaukeePounders
5 years ago

Hey Grey,

Fantastic write-up as per usual.

I have a question regarding a 10 team 6×6 (OPS & Holds). I like the base of my team, but I’m a bit light on speed for sure. However, Haniger is available. I hate having bench bats, but I share your opinion of Haniger’s potential breakout.

My weakest links are Leonys, Jon Gray, Robbie Ray, Finnegan.

Since steals are a definite need, I’m hesitant to cut Leonys. What do you think?

Thanks, Homie!

OldMilwaukeePounders
OldMilwaukeePounders
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Thanks, Grey. Think I’m gonna hold for a little while longer, but won’t be shocked if he goes 20/15. Does that seem close to fair?

alcesto
alcesto
5 years ago

Yo Grey, Stream-o-nator sort of likes Wheeler against Miami ($9.9) and hates Foltynewicz at the Pirates (-$4.2), but Folty has the better name and looked sharp in the spring. Are you running either of those guys out there today? If you have to choose one, who do you take?

Uglee
Uglee
5 years ago

Would you drop Solarte or Hosmer for Healy? He’d fill my utility spot. Thanks!

Uglee
Uglee
Reply to  Uglee
5 years ago

Yangervis that is @Uglee:

mcmi11ions
mcmi11ions
5 years ago

WOOOO Benintendi batting 3rd today! That is all.

breadnbutter
breadnbutter
5 years ago

Ryon Healy or Carlos Gomez?

Yankee my Wanky!
Yankee my Wanky!
5 years ago

Hello Grey,
Which 2 would you rather have as 4th OF/Bench:

Kepler, Parra or Peralta?

Thanks much.

Yankee my Wanky!
Yankee my Wanky!
Reply to  Yankee my Wanky!
5 years ago

@Yankee my Wanky!: I guess the follow up question would be do I really need all 3. 12 Team Yahoo H2H.

Thanks again.

Slimcompoop
Slimcompoop
5 years ago

Oh yeah…had an actual question. Some doode in my keeper league overreacted and dropped Finnegan and Arcia. Claiming Finnegan on Monday, but drop Forsythe for Arcia in an OBP league? Thinking hold.

Slimcompoop
Slimcompoop
5 years ago

So my wife and I decided to get away for a couple days to this resort where Seattle hipsters pretend they’re roughing it and Eastern Washington malcontents complain about the hipsters. Compelling and rich. Anythehoo…we’re sitting there at dinner last night and overhear a lady in a dinner group of rich old people that “My husband has a proclivity for fly-fishing. Right Tom? But only guided tours. Tying your own lines and fly’s…who wants to do that?” *Whole dinner party chuckles, Tom is emasculated*

And then you say proclivity in today’s write-up…good stuff. Want me to grab you a lounge napkin for your collection?

Good Bob
Good Bob
5 years ago

12 team 6×6 (OPS/QS) h2h
Drop Skaggs to pick up Matt Bush since I am lucky to have drafted Dyson? Or grab Nate Jones for the stats until he takes over as closer? Or hold? Thanks in advance!

WalleyWorld
WalleyWorld
5 years ago

How would you rank Schoop, Yasmani, Grichuk, Healy ROS? thanks

Ra'zbahl Al Ghul
Ra'zbahl Al Ghul
5 years ago

Heading to Coors today for opening day. Bud Black already has the lineup in 4 hours early. The Walt “dead ball” Weiss era is OVER betches!

FrankGrimes
FrankGrimes
Reply to  Ra'zbahl Al Ghul
5 years ago

@Ra’zbahl Al Ghul:
Story two bombs calling it!

MattTruss
Editor
Reply to  Ra'zbahl Al Ghul
5 years ago

DFSers rejoice!

Citizen5
Citizen5
5 years ago

Pick two:
Nola (WAS, @WAS, @NYM)
Velasquez (WAS, NYM, @NYM)
Pineda (TB, STL, @PIT)

Harry
Harry
5 years ago

Start Folty @ PIT today or bench.

Harry
Harry
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey:
I’ll go with you Grey thanks!

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Me three!

JoeC
JoeC
Reply to  Cram It
5 years ago

@Cram It: Well, that could’ve worked out better for y’all. :(

Jason
Jason
5 years ago

Rizzo/Odor/Polanco/Russell/Cole/Giles or Freeman/Segura/Stanton/Story/DeGrom/Holland? Is it fairly even? Thanks.

ERad
ERad
5 years ago

Anyone seen my offense?

JoeC
JoeC
Reply to  ERad
5 years ago

@ERad: I believe yours and mine skedaddled to the desert in a red convertible, picking up comely drifters along the way.

FrankGrimes
FrankGrimes
5 years ago

You’re in the GIF vortex now soooo
Every Dusty mention should include the
Classic Jay gif! Bust it out Jay?!?

FrankGrimes
FrankGrimes
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey:
Haha like my opinion matters.

FrankGrimes
FrankGrimes
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey:
Ok then. For me I’d say no. (I’m sure I’m the minority tho) They’re everywhere. You have your OG flow. You’re the FML yo!

FrankGrimes
FrankGrimes
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey:
Haha. Not all heroes wear capes.

FrankGrimes
FrankGrimes
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Wasn’t trying to hate. I wanted to see Kershaw/Dusty blow up your head. Guess I’m a hypocrite!

Someone pissed in my alphabet soup
Someone pissed in my alphabet soup
5 years ago

Grey have you watched Banchee or Black Sails? any new tv shows you been into lately?

Five-On-One
Five-On-One
5 years ago

Pick up Saladino or Reynolds for any of Brad Miller, Tommy Joseph or Logan Forsythe?

The Great Knoche
5 years ago

Just benched Broxton for weekend for Kike Hernandez in NFBC. Painful.

Lucky Dog
5 years ago

As much as I love Springer, I was the guy who took Marte over him. “Can’t turn down that .40 points in BA!” I said. “Can’t pass up the 40 SB!” I said. “Arenado/Correa all power, you need balance” I said.

That’s what I get for starting my draft sober. Next year imma do what I’ve always done and punt steals. Now I’ll have Springer envy all year and Marte will probably go .220/10/10 and fill me with more regret than that time I bought a Betamax. It was 5 weeks ago. What, I thought it was making a comeback. Crap!

Lucky Dog
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: I was – and I stand by that. Also he’s hitting so many HRs he’ll never be able to steal one. What a loser.

Also, that’s the point -I took Marte for the SBs. I shoulda taken Springer for the power.

Try to keep up – sheesh. Say, ant to buy a slightly used Betamax? Good condition! Comes with a sealed copy of Footloose!

Lucky Dog
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Kevin Bacon movie.

Pssht – like the latter would still be sealed.

GonzoChicago
GonzoChicago
5 years ago

Grey –

With the first Friday upon us, I can’t wait for the Buy/Sell column this afternoon. Can you give me some relative ROS rankings for some guys I’m anticipating in the column? I have no particular needs, 10 team redraft league.

Bats:
Healy, Renfroe, Haniger, Mark Reynolds, Josh Bell, Dickerson, Dahl

Pitching:
Manaea, Finnegan, Cobb, Joe Ross

Thanks!

OaktownSteve
OaktownSteve
5 years ago

Went to the game yesterday. Quick scouting report on Triggs. Pitches exclusively out of the stretch. A big part of his game is the funky 3/4 arm slot. He’s a bit of slinger and he’s a pretty tall dude so you’re getting a lot of funky body action that I’m sure makes the ball tough to pick up. Tops out at 92 and lives closer to 90. He will not miss many bats. The A’s played Rosales and DH’d Lowry yesterday I think to help out the infield defense. Would be a good plan for the A’s when Triggs pitches. He did keep the ball off the barrel most of the day. I think pretty much as advertised. I would expect that the league will start to ketchup to him as the season goes on.

Healy’s homer yesterday was one of the best struck balls I’ve seen from the A’s in a long time. It was a swung on gone on a day when it was rainy heavy air and the ball was not carrying. I approve of your Delorian usage.

Skaggs looked very so so. Nothing really stood out. Curveball looked decent I guess and he seemed to command it ok. Not a lot to get excited about.

The A’s seem to have decided they are going all in on SABR relief theory. It’s going to be a lot of match up and usage stuff. I really doesn’t look like they want to go with anything resembling a traditional closer.

By the way, I thought Charlie Morton threw pretty well the other day. I found your blurb a little shall we say salty?

Fewest people I’ve every seen at an A’s game yesterday. Rainy Thursday cap to a 4 game set with the Halos. Didn’t see the announced but there were fewer than 5000 there I’d guess.

Geoff
Reply to  OaktownSteve
5 years ago

@OaktownSteve: I’m very excited for Healy own him all over in re-draft, and not nearly enough in dynasty.

When do you think we see Barreto? The A’s are a tricky team to figure out with callups. My guess is late June, early July. What says you?

OaktownSteve
OaktownSteve
Reply to  Geoff
5 years ago

@Ralph Lifshitz:

It depends on how fast they fall completely out of touch with the race. You have to figure they want to give Plouffe enough time to build some trade value to somebody contending who loses a 3B. I think if and when the flip Plouffe we see Chapman for the rest of the year provided he takes a small step forward in his contract rates.

My guess is we’ll see the Chapman, Semien, Baretto, Healy infield of the future some time this year though. That could be a hell of a quartet.

Geoff
Reply to  OaktownSteve
5 years ago

@OaktownSteve: I like that quartet a lot, not since Miles has any one man assembled such a worthy crew of up and comers. That’s my enthusiastic A’s hyperbole for the week.

Chapman’s glove is so slick, he has value even if he does hit .220.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: My hate for Charlie Morton knows no bounds. He wasn’t good, isn’t good, and won’t be good. He will have a 4.30 ERA and 6k/9 in a whopping 100 innings.

OaktownSteve
OaktownSteve
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey:

I think Morton goes sub 4 and 7+ k/9. You should go check out the highlights of his start. Just made one mistake to Segura. Lot of life on his pitches.

Not quite a Rich Hill level revival. By the way, I feel like Zombino (one of the all time best glossary terms) only applies to hitters. Need a term for resurrected pitchers like Hill, Verlander etc.

OaktownSteve
OaktownSteve
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey:

Segura’s homer was a cheapy. I counted 7 busted bats. He still had 97 in the 6th. Curveball looked a bit tighter than I remember it.

Hugman
Hugman
5 years ago

With the alternating Gyorko/Wong going on I’m really missing my Pujols.

elguaponerte
elguaponerte
5 years ago

Renfroe or Buxton? As a throw-into a trade. 18 team Roto…

Green monstahh
Green monstahh
5 years ago

Top of the weekend master grey, as my favorite poet; R Kelly would say “it’s the freakin weekend I’m about to have me some fun!”

H2h points/ weekly.

I can make adds/drops but of course since it’s weekly can’t change the lineup til next week.

On my bench for bats I have jay Bruce, Greg bird, Javier Baez (3b/SS & 2B), and Manuel Margot.

– at utility I have Sandoval, and my other utility is drury (OF & 3B).

Here’s the rest of my squad:

1b: Jose abreu

2b: Pedroia

3b: Todd Frazier

SS: dansby Swanson

IF: Miguel sano (3b//OF & DH eligibility)

OF: Harper
OF: cespedes
OF: schwarber
OF: benintendi

DH: Carlos Santana also eligible 1b

Catcher is willson (tom hanks voice willllllsonnnn) contreras also eligible at OF.

Not gonna list every person available but here are a few available: Travis Shaw (1b/3b), Jason heyward, hunter renfroe & Stephen Vogt (c / DH) are available

Pitching side not listing everyone but we start 2 RP’s, min are neftali feliz & AJ Ramos. Available RPs are Blake Treinen, Greg holland, and Fernando Rodney.

Thanks & have a great day grey!

cjw
cjw
5 years ago

Since I got back into roto baseball, Tommy John surgery feels like “The Sickness” in a pandemic apocalypse movie. Like Garrett Richards is speeding across the Nevada desert with Denise Richards after escaping the Plague Riots in Denver, and she looks over at him right as he notices his nose is bleeding, and he’s all “no no, babe, I’m sure it’s just dry air, not… look, we’ve just gotta make it to the FEMA camp outside Sacramento and we’ll be alright!” But she’s thinking about how his grenade velocity has seemed down in the last couple scenes and he totally missed that bandit leader they fought by 20 feet but it struck the abandoned gas pump and exploded all the bad guys at once and Garrett said he totally meant to do that.

Teddy Heater
Teddy Heater
5 years ago

No mention of #chestgate?

Teddy Heater
Teddy Heater
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: The ball sticking to Molina’s chest protector. If any other catcher did that they’re would have been a suspension.

Teddy Heater
Teddy Heater
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: That’s a foreign substance, that shizz is so lubed up with pine tar.

Teddy Heater
Teddy Heater
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Yeah, fo sho.
1. It obviously gives the pitcher a better grip, a la Pineda
2. It keeps the ball from bouncing off

swaggerjackers
swaggerjackers
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: It’s a pretty funny video watching him look all around for the ball while it’s stuck to his stomach.

Teddy Heater
Teddy Heater
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Exactly, if you ain’t first you’re last!

If he made the ball disappear, that would of been legit

Teddy Heater
Teddy Heater
Reply to  Teddy Heater
5 years ago

@Teddy Heater: HA!!!

JoeC
JoeC
Reply to  Teddy Heater
5 years ago

@Teddy Heater: If it were me and my melon, I’d *want* the pitcher to have a better grip.

Pine tar is a funny substance, like honey and syrup: it gets EVERYWHERE. You try to grab a paper towel to clean it up, but then your hand sticks to that too. Grab the faucet to wash it off, now that’s sticky too.

I get that Cards-haters will show no sympathy, but it’s very conceivable that Molina wasn’t “cheating” and that the pine tar got on his catcher gear in the “natural” way.

Teddy Heater
Teddy Heater
Reply to  JoeC
5 years ago

@JoeC: Just like the stick’em spray used to get “naturally” on my bat heads.

JoeC
JoeC
Reply to  Teddy Heater
5 years ago

@Teddy Heater: Just make sure to use your non-wiping hand to apply the stick-um, else you’re gonna end up with Charmin and butt hairs on yo’ fingers!

UL's Toothpick
UL's Toothpick
5 years ago

Coach, I own lackey like everywhere based on your rankings. screw Zobrist. he rolls that DP and there would have been no damage.

With the NFBC lineup changes today, would you roll the dice on Gutierrez at Co this weekend? They face 2 lefties (Freeland & Anderson). I have Moss on 2 teams where I could make this switch…

Fish
Fish
5 years ago

Is there any chance we hey an Arroyo-Weaver matchup this year????

I would stream the backup AA catchers in that matchup and still come out a winner.

Fish
Fish
Reply to  Fish
5 years ago

@Fish:
*Get

… Stupid Swiftkey autocorrect

playadlc
playadlc
5 years ago

With this team…
1B – Rizzo
2B – Odor
SS – Correa
3B – Turner
OF – Kepler, Marte, Pollack
Util – Abreu
SP’s – Darvish, Rich Hill, T. Walker, J. Lackey, J. Ross, A. Nola and K.Maeda

Would you move Correa and F. Rodney for Trumbo, Brad Miller and Jose Quintana?

Could use the power increase and another decent SP would be nice.

Thoughts?

here comes the pizza
here comes the pizza
5 years ago

What’s up Grey

Looking for a streamer today. Liriano (@TB), Leake (CIN), Fiers (KC)

I put them in the order SON has them but since they’re close in value, figured i’d see what you thought. Have a great weekend!

JAL
JAL
5 years ago

G, 12-team 5×5 innings cap, do I throw out Fulmer at home v. a “light” Red Sox lineup? Velasquez at home v. WASH v. Scherzer (mind telling me no, but he killed it at home surprisingly last year and my body telling me yes)? TY!

Hanklongball
Hanklongball
5 years ago

Grey,

I’ve been stashing Buxton on my bench in hopes I could flip him for a profit. How long until I hit the eject button for Kepler or Haniger? If now is the time, which do you like?

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  Hanklongball
5 years ago

@Hanklongball: Give it a couple of weeks at least.

Hooray A Marte Partayyy
Hooray A Marte Partayyy
5 years ago

Is Finnegan worth adding over Joe Ross or Rodon?

Guess we need to quarantine the entire Boston clubhouse and surrounding area. Sheesh! Mookie and HanRam OUT today with flu-ish symptoms.

Hooray A Marte Partayyy
Hooray A Marte Partayyy
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: Thank you sir. Follow-up question, have you given your insight on what to do as a J. Gomez and Neris owner? Hate having two roster spots taken by them.

Mike
Mike
5 years ago

Guys, help me out please.

I got offered Carlos Correa for my Bumgarner.

I’m about to accept it but I’m a bit worried about hurting my rotation. Oh, and this is a keeper league.

Gary Sanchez
Hosmer
Odor
Bryant
Segura
Blackmon
Harper
Polanco
Buxton
Kepler
Rendon
Tim Anderson
Scherzer
Bumgarner
Strasburg
Duffy
Hendricks
Rich Hill
Gsellman
Joe Ross
Kimbrel
Kelvin Herrera
Dyson
Benoit
Jefress

snarky anklebiter
snarky anklebiter
5 years ago

I think Rotoworld is just trying to troll you on Kepler. Their blurb, “The 24-year-old Kepler holds some value in very deep AL-only formats for those in need of a little bit of bench power.” They followed up with something about mustaches only making sense on tall guys with deep voices. It was really confusing.

Joeschmoe
Joeschmoe
5 years ago

Would you trade Votto for Springer straight up? Best OF is Polanco and next best is JBJ. Would have Cron as a replacement at first. Would almost rather trade votto for a pitcher though pitching is weak

Joeschmoe
Joeschmoe
Reply to  Joeschmoe
5 years ago

but if Cron can be serviceable all year It benefits my offense since Springer could make more of an impact than Votto

Joeschmoe
Joeschmoe
Reply to  Joeschmoe
5 years ago

And id be able to get booty ass beltran or Tomas out of my lineup while they are cold

eric
eric
5 years ago

Offered K Bryant for CMart and Treinen.

Fungazi
Fungazi
Reply to  eric
5 years ago

@eric: Take Bryant before he sobers up!

Metlgod
Metlgod
Reply to  eric
5 years ago

@eric: hurry before he comes to his senses

Malicious Phenoms
Malicious Phenoms
Reply to  eric
5 years ago

@eric:

Take Bryant, NOW

papasmurf
papasmurf
5 years ago

Puig put up more stats yesterday in one game (from my bench of course) than my entire offense has put up for the season.

Puig: 3 R 2 HR 3 RBI 1 SB
Team: 3 R 1 HR 4 RBI 1 SB .169 BA

Smurf already in midseason form!

4 homers on bench already. Starters not doing jack, bench guys off to fast starts…

Geoff
5 years ago

Minor League Notes from Opening Day

You’ll love this, Hader’s first AAA start of the season last night, goes 5 scoreless innings, strikesout 6, WALKS 5.

Moncada kills fastballs, still can’t hit a breaking pitch.

Lewis Brinson hurt his hand stealing a base.

Oh, yeah and Tim Tebow went oppo-taco in his first at bat.

More to come on the podcast Saturday, and in my first Minor League Update Sunday.

Rock D
Rock D
Reply to  Geoff
5 years ago

@Ralph Lifshitz: And Bader goes yahtzee!!!

Geoff
Reply to  Rock D
5 years ago

@Rock D: I have to save something for the Pod and post. Yes, If I open an English Style Gastro-Pub it will be named Pod and Post.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Geoff
5 years ago

@Ralph Lifshitz: tebow dong vs 666th player drafted in 2015…..coincidence?

Geoff
Reply to  J-FOH
5 years ago

@J-FOH: BAHAHAHA

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Reply to  Geoff
5 years ago

Tebow also had 4 Hail Mary’s and 3 Our Father’s.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: I was trying to have a proper religion conversation, but we can throw the pigskin around Pa!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Reply to  Grey
5 years ago

@Grey: *cut to boy in overalls throwing football to family Golden Retriever, said dog is humping some mut*

Lonestar3
Lonestar3
5 years ago

Rank these 3:

Brandon Belt
Brad Miller
Martin Gonzales

The Great Knoche
Reply to  Lonestar3
5 years ago

@Lonestar3: You just did.

Geoff
5 years ago

Because James Brown is dead, does that mean Byron Buxton dies on the mat in front of Chris Brown?