What’s the most annoying thing a teenager can do? I’m going with “I’m not touching you,” when they’re like an inch away from you. Just so annoying. Another top annoying thing? When you’re mad, they know you’re mad, and you say, “No, I’m not mad,” then they say, “Ooh, you’re so mad!” Actually, that might not be a kid, that might be me trying to annoy my wife. Poor Cougs, she married a 15-year-old. Hey, she’s like one of those Netflix docs where the teacher and her student run off together and all the guys in the boy’s life are like, “Way to go dude!” and the girl’s friends are like, “He is kinda cute,” and the teacher’s husband is like, “This sucks, dude, I loved her, and she ran off with Kyle’s best friend!” Any hoo! Samad Taylor? Nah, you Samad bro! I’m not touching you! Ooh…Samad! Mentioned this on this week’s podcast. Ramon Laureano is out for the year and Samad Taylor is up and playing like a Samad man. He has speed, and, in Triple-A, he went 7/9/.319 in 188 ABs with a 17.6 K%. Strikeouts have gone up a little, and he’s mostly a speed play, but he can out-hit Laureano and Laureano was drafted as fifth outfielder everywhere. Taylor is also the only player hitting on the Padres. I could see grabbing him in any league, unless you’re spiting yourself. Ooh, you’re so mad, bro! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
PSYCHE! This post was released a week early for Patreon members. It will be released all year early for Patreons, so if people are getting a jump on you, it’s because they paid the $10. Anyway, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell:
BUY
Rodolfo Duran – Freddy Fermin recently was concussed and thought he was the Dodgers’ 1st baseman, and, while he’s out and wondering where his giant chiclet teeth are, Duran is catching for the Padres and has power.
Jonah Heim – A’s have so much fantasy value to go around their backup catcher now has value. Am I the only one on the Bing Bong Express? Feels like there’s room for more of you.
Josh Bell – These are labeled Buys, but they’re Grabs. They’re “Pick up because this guy is hot” players. People understand this, right? Because occasionally I’ll hear someone say, who would buy this guy? You’re not purchasing them like you did with your Subaru.
Willi Castro – The Cuban dictator, Fidel Castro, used to call his cigar Willi Castro, and he used to call his penis a cigar. This is from Wikipedia. Any hoo! Willi Castro, this one, has finally heated up. It doesn’t actually just feel like one random Rockies hitter is hot per week, it’s true. Next week, it’s your turn, TJ Rumfield!
Paul Goldschmidt – If in March the Yankees thought they’d be relying on the Au Shizz this much, they likely would’ve thought they were doomed, and there’s still time to be doomed, but Goldy’s been solid (and the team).
Kody Clemens – Wonder if the Twins trade Clemens this trade deadline. Can think of a lot of teams who would be interested. Yankees, for one. Maybe the Astros. Jays for offense? Perhaps the Red Sox—Okay, now I’m just thinking of teams who have jerseys ready to sell.
Brice Matthews – 2nd base eligibility helps Matthews’s fantasy value. Doesn’t hurt that he was high on the 7-day Player Rater either. Also, well, hmm…that might be it.
Alika Williams – Imagine Shohei on the A’s…[wavy lines indicating a dream sequence] Wow, I can’t believe Shohei didn’t pass Barry Bonds’s home run record. Though, he does have 700 homers in 240 at-bats, and there is more than a half a season left…[wavy lines ending dream sequence] Alika is a great example of how valuable Bing Bong Stadium can be. I’m not sure Alika Williams would be rosterable in an AL-Only league if he were on, say, the Royals, but on the A’s? Guy’s got 12-team mixed league value.
Colt Keith – This is basically off the back of one game. Also, it was the Most Random Three Home Run Game of all-time. Technically, Scooter Gennett’s was a four-homer game, so not the same.
Daniel Schneemann – With JoJoRam going Bye-ByeRam, Daniel Schnneemmaann should have playing time and has been hot. “And has been hot” is the interesting part, because Gabriel Arias returned, as well, and, well, okay! By the by, looking at the Guards’ depth chart, I just saw they promoted someone named Petey Halpin, who sounds way too casual. “Petey, we take things a little more serious in the majors, pal.”
Donovan Walton – Did you know his family, the Waltons, has a farm and they grow Tamagotchi pets? I’m a bit of a trivia buff. Did you also know Walton has six homers in his career. Since 2019!
Royce Lewis – If I thought there was any chance Lewis was largely available, I would’ve made him the lede this week. I’d guess he’s barely available in shallower leagues, but, even there, he shouldn’t be. He should be at 100% rostered. If he’s somehow fixed, he could be a top 50 overall player.
Cooper Pratt – Here’s what I said when he was called up, “Well, I said they’d call up a prospect who they gave a multi-year deal too, only I said Lara, not Pratt. Lara? Pratt? Where’s Heidi and LC? Writing Pratt in my FAAB bids like I’m voting for LA Mayor. Finally, someone in LA who wants publicity! Lara will be up soon, because they only got rid of Joey Ortiz with Pratt; they still have Garrett Mitchell sucking the suckwagon. Pratt’s MiLB stats: 6/17/.244 and a 14.3 K% and 13.2 BB%. So, they basically have another Brice Turang. Actually, I said that for Lara too. So, they have three Turangs. Holy crap, it’s Multiplicity! I’d grab Pratt in any league, but I’d only rely on him for speed, and occasional homer, since he couldn’t even hit for a decent average in Triple-A.” And that’s me quoting me!
Blaze Jordan – Here’s what I said when he was called up, “Just Blaze went 11/2/.313 in Triple-A with a 7.5 BB% and 11.5 K%. He should have power and average in the majors too. Think 25/.260-.270. Basically, NoGo with average. Call him MoGo–Actually, no, call him Just Blaze, because that name is fire.” And that’s me quoting me!
Kyle Karros – It was a good week for nepo babies. Karros and Clemens are on the rise, and Martinez and Lewis, descendants of the great comedy duo.
Tyler Callihan – He started off with a bang. Actually, a double bang. Hit his first homer the same game as his 2nd homer. And that was the jumping off point. Don’t think there’s a ton here long-term, but, while Oneil Cruz is out, Callihan has been playing and hitting. Oneil…Callihan…Pirates yo ho ho and a bottle of rum and a pint of Guinness.
Cole Carrigg – Went over him in the same post as my Braden Montgomery fantasy. Go there, and read that.
Jung Hoo Lee – Him and Matt Chapman have been the hottest hitters in June, and there’s two more names for you, who I don’t think are available in any league, so we move.
Jasson Dominguez – Similar to Royce Lewis, if I thought Dominguez was available in more leagues, I would’ve highlighted him more. He should be rostered in all leagues for the foreseeable future. He’s a 20/20 guy hitting in the middle of a depleted Yanks’ lineup (and good park).
Ryne Nelson – This is a Streamonator call. Like the call it makes to the Container Store.
Zac Gallen – This is also a Streamonator call. “I was born in a container and it was not pleasant.”
Alex Lange – The Royals’ closerousel rotates. Carlos Estevez goes up, Estevez goes down, Lucas Erceg goes up, Erceg goes down, Alex Lange goes up, Lange goes down. Maybe Daniel Lynch IV can get in one of those carousel benches and not on a horsey.
Elvis Alvarado – I keep giving you A’s closer lottery tickets each week, hoping one will stick but so far that hasn’t happened. Maybe it’ll be this week, unless it’s just a bit, and Elvis was only closing because they were in Vegas.
Yoendrys Gomez – A good example of what we’re hoping for from Alvarado. For about six weeks, it seemed like the Twins wouldn’t have any closer, then Gomez became that guy.
Jacob Webb – Only real closer fill-in pick up this week is Webb. Don’t get me wrong, Yoendrys should be rostered, but he should’ve been rostered three weeks ago; Lange should be rostered two weeks ago and Elvis is AL-Only. Webb actually has a chance to be picked up this week (mostly in competitive weekly leagues this Sunday) and should be. I could see speculating on Caleb Thielbar too. Phil Maton? Actually, I like my Maton empty, thank you.
Didier Fuentes – No, I don’t think he’s taking over for Strider. I mean, maybe, and, if he did, he’d be a buy too, but this is because he’s a lights-out reliever. Just pitch black! Wait, that’s the wrong use of my thesaurus, isn’t it? Lights-out! Nasty! Synonym! You know I love Didier, but he’s actually looked good enough to warrant that love in middle relief.
SELL
Wyatt Langford – Since they’re always tied together, like a young version of Cody Bellinger and Christian Yelich, this is going to be a Jackson Merrill Sell too. A rare double sell. It’s rare because it takes all my strength and only one in three ‘perts can do a double sell and come out alive! Wish me luck! Langford first: Injuries and one of the worst parks the Fantasy Baseball Overlord’s ever spit up. What are you expecting from Langford? 15/15/.260? Is that even rosterable in a 12-team mixed league? Not rhetorical, I am truly wondering. Maybe he gets hot, and then injured again? Guessing on injuries is hard, so I would more be selling simply because he seems like he’s a little bit hot so maybe you can get something. As for Jackson Merrill, so, like, interjection, he was never that good, right? That’s what we’ve discovered, right? We’re like a bunch of raccoons, i.e., the Magellans of discovering garbage. I honestly don’t know what you can get for Merrill, but maybe there’s a believer in your league still. I would not trade Wyatt Langford or Jackson Merrill for a ticket to see the World Cup that is a protective cup the size of the world, but I would go to the Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options.
