So, weird thing is happening this draft season, I’m loving all of my drafted fantasy baseball teams. I mean, I’m drafting them, so it should come as a complete surprise that I’m liking the teams, but usually I’m more skeptical of how well I’ve drafted. Like a hand model, I’m usually much more down-to-earth, accepting that my best feature is, much like the Niekros, just off the knuckles. Could I have become the worst case scenario? A hand model who thinks people may want to photograph my face? I hope not, but I am worried that my enthusiasm for my fantasy teams might be too rosy for my own good. The only people truly excited about their teams are ones who don’t know better, right? No? I can be happy? Geez, this could be glorious if I’m not being dopey and my team is actual garbage. For those not in the know, this is a weekly, 15-team, two-catcher league that lasts for 50 rounds and there’s no waivers. Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap:
C: Tyler Stephenson (11)
C: Jose Trevino (23)
1B: Rowdy Tellez (10)
2B: Marcus Semien (2)
SS: Oneil Cruz (4)
3B: Gunnar Henderson (7)
MI: Brendan Rodgers (18)
CI: Seth Brown (14)
OF: Yordan Alvarez (1st round, 7th pick)
OF: Jake McCarthy (6)
OF: Esteury Ruiz (16)
OF: Jorge Soler (20)
OF: Randal Grichuk (22)
Util: Mark Canha (24)
Bench: Ramon Urias (26), Michael Massey (28), Kyle Stowers (30), Patrick Wisdom (32), Vidal Brujan (34), Moises Gomez (35), Max Stassi (36), Diego Castillo (38), Sean Bouchard (40), JJ Bleday (41), Aaron Hicks (43), Nick Solak (45), Michael Siani (46), Alex Call (49)
P: Aaron Nola (3)
P: Alek Manoah (5)
P: David Bednar (8)
P: Nick Lodolo (9)
P: Kodai Senga (12)
P: Grayson Rodriguez (13)
P: Jorge Lopez (15)
P: Nathan Eovaldi (17)
P: Carlos Carrasco (19)
Bench: Bailey Ober (21), Braxton Garrett (25), Gregory Soto (27), Kyle Gibson (29), Shintaro Fujinami (31), Andrew Chafin (33), Tyler Wells (37), Brandon Walter (39), Bryan Baker (42), Colin Poche (44), Ryan Tepera (47), Brad Hand (48), Deivi Garcia (50)
SO, YOU IMPLIED IF YOU LIKE YOUR TEAM YOU MIGHT BE DELUSIONAL, AND LET ME JUST SAY IF YOU GIVE THE WRONG ANSWERS TO MY QUESTIONS, I MIGHT HAVE TO REACH OUT TO BETTER QUALIFIED PROFESSIONALS TO ADDRESS YOUR ISSUES. SO, FIRST OFF, LET’S SEE THE FANTASY BASEBALL WAR ROOM TOTALS.
…AND THIS TEAM YOU’RE HAPPY WITH?
I am, Mr. Al Capps! Maybe because I got so many of “my guys” but I love it. Grayson Rodriguez is properly named, because he’s my son. I am his father. The only thing that would be better is if I drafted Jordan Walker, who is my actual father. Yes, that’s right, I am Jordan Walker Jr. and Graydad Rodriguez. It is so, because I say it is. For more, check out my Grayson Rodriguez fantasy. Also, I grabbed my Rowdy Tellez sleeper; my Jake McCarthy sleeper; my love dong, Captain Woo Cubano aka Yordan Alvarez; my equally loved Oneil Cruz; my Gunnar Henderson fantasy and Tyler Stephenson, who I am crazy about, even if he’s just a catcher. It is a team dripping with love juice, which is why it makes sense I have Semien.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE GUY WHO SAYS TO NOT DRAFT A STARTER UNTIL 45 TO 55 OVERALL TAKING AARON NOLA IN THE 3RD ROUND? YOU ARE A STUPID-FACED LIAR OR AM I WRONG?
There’s a lot to unpack with my Aaron Nola pick. First off, I say I want to draft Aaron Nola in my top 20 starters. Second off, I knew at my draft spot it was take Nola in the 3rd round or risk not even getting a number one in a league where there’s no waivers, and, sure enough, between my Nola and Cruz pick, 11 pitchers came off the board. So, Nola, Oneil Cruz and Manoah for me, or it would’ve been something like Jazz, Gausman and Manoah (or Castillo or Javier; hard to say because my one change changes everything after, and my team fades away like the photograph in Back to the Future.) In a 12-team mixed league with waivers, I absolutely would’ve taken another bat and waited until the 4th round, but you can’t risk things in a deeper league with no waivers.
AND HOW ABOUT KODAI SENGA HAVING ISSUES WITH HIS INDEX FINGER?
Mets’ injury news math: “Whatever the Mets say” + “the actual injury” = Oh crap. Hopefully, he’s fine, as he says he wouldn’t have missed a start if this were the regular season.
FINE, BUT WHAT ABOUT BRENDAN RODGERS? ARE YOU DUMB?
I drafted Rodgers and it took a full day and half before regretting it. It sucks he got hurt, but at the time he wasn’t and I needed average. The more I think about this team. It might be a tad bit jinxed, as, another recent development, Eovaldi has an oblique issue too. Clearly, that Rodgers pick will get switched out for one of my numerous MIs I drafted onto my bench, and why I grabbed Sean Bouchard. Wait a second, he’s out for the year too! Usually, I feel very confident in my depth, but I don’t because of those two injuries. Yes, I will be relying on Ramon Urias. Lowercase yay. It’s not ideal, but in years past I would’ve regretted the pick. Screaming *uck Rodgers, and wanting to punt him into outer space. I am just more well-adjusted.
WELL-ADJUSTED? YOU SOUND SUPER DUMB. OKAY, GIVE ME SOME REAL TAKEAWAYS HERE, BECAUSE I’VE HAD ABOUT ENOUGH OF THIS WELL-ADJUSTED GARBAGE.
I don’t know how many of you are playing in 15-team snake draft leagues, but it seems like what I’ve been preaching for years has made it into the mainstream. Pitchers are sitting there for three rounds, then twelve of fifteen 4th round picks are usually pitchers. If not more. Also, Alek Manoah is being underestimated by every projections system — ours included. It’s like they’re looking at him and thinking, “Yeah, that 25-year-old, who just was one of the best pitchers in baseball? It was all a fluke.” Okay. For those of you out there that want to say nonsense like, “Yeah, but he’s overweight.” You sound like you’ve never seen a baseball player before. Also, this isn’t Stephen King’s Thinner and Manoah didn’t just wake as a big boy. You don’t think he knows how to handle his body? Maybe when he’s 30 years old, or if he starts to break down, then you can start dismissing based on him chewing bacon instead of gum, but until then you can find me in the cheering section with his Mommah.