All gravy as us Italians-Americans say. New York Yankees rookie flamethrower slash phenom slash spot starter Jonathan Loaisiga made his major league debut Friday night pitching five strong shutout innings, giving up just three hits, four walks and striking out six for his first MLB vicky in ever. Called up from Double-A Trenton Johnny was 3-1 with a 3.00 ERA, 1.13 WHIP, and 58/4 K/BB ratio through 45 innings. If that K/BB just made your eyes pop like mine did, it’s because the four walks he issued last night in his debut are the same number he’s walked all season in AA. Perhaps some of the struggles he had with his control Friday night were more nerves or jitters and less indicators of what’s to come from Loaisiga. Despite the four free passes, he was excellent out of the gate, Johnny Lasagna layered on the cheese, striking out four in the first two innings with his real pretty mid-90s fastball mixed in with his slider (17 swings and misses induced) and was helped out by a couple double plays. He hit some trouble in the fourth, but managed to pitch his way out of a sticky bases-loaded two-out situation by striking out Christian Arroyo. Yankee fans are calling him “Johnny Lasagna” because he’s a-spicy meatballs-a! Mama mia!  Rays manager Kevin Cash called him Little Riviera. That seems a bit over-the-top as well. Either way, I am calling him a player to watch after that performance. Lil’ Jon is telling you to Get Loaisiga, but Jon always jumps the gun on these rookie pitchers. Loaisiga’s first major league stint might be a short one, but I could see him sticking around for another start or two while Masahiro Tanaka is still on the DL and much like this whole Yankees team, his future is very bright. He lines up for another home start next week versus the red-hot Mariners, and I could see streaming him there and for the short term. Add him or no, Johnny Lasagna is not just Garfield’s new favorite player, he’s a name fantasy baseballers are going to hear a lot going forward. He was a BUY and he’s worth a grab for the upside alone, the layers of cheese and pasta are all just bonus.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Didi Gregorius – 3-for-4, 2 runs, HR (14). Oh man were you ready to drop this guy or what? Don’t lie! Well, trade at the very least. He hit just one homer in May after hitting 10 in April! Uh, drop off the planet and don’t tell anyone much? Are you mad at me or something Didi much? Too much on the much much much? Well, he’s now got three in the past three games so things aren’t looking quite as grim. But I can tell you from past experience, Didi is not a .317 hitter and if you are not ready to accept that reality now seems like a great time to sell high.

Kevin Gausman – 5.2 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 3 BB, 7 K, 6th L. I finally gathered up enough courage to drop Gausman last week. Sayonara, ERA-Suck, don’t let the door hit you on the way out! But Gausman did let the door hit him, and I rushed to his aid, “Are you okay? Just Miami this week, you say? Ok, we’ll give it another shot.” So now, for the fourth time this season, I own Kevin Gausman again, a pitcher with a 4.50 ERA and 1.40 WHIP.

Jose Urena – 8.0 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, BB, 4 K, 2nd win. He’s got even more losses than Gausman with 8. Woof. Speaking of ERA-Sucks, Urena’s rocking a 4.18 ERA but a surprisingly sparkling 1.15 WHIP. How even though? Is this what means to be a Marlin?

Kyle Barraclough – 1.0 IP, 2 K, SV (5). If you’d watched this game (wait–dude, were you not watching the O’s/Marlins game Friday night??) you’d know Barracough looked dominant, getting through the inning with just 14 pitches. I never buy into the myth that bad teams closers don’t get as many opportunities to save games. Yeah but maybe they play more close games though because they can’t blow anyone out? Do we have an intern that can check on this? All the closers I own are on bad teams because they’re usually cheaper. Kyle was cheap and his team is bad. He’s also got a 1.15 ERA and 0.80 WHIP pick him up!

Brian Anderson – 2-for-4, RBI. Brian was told by a mysterious being that Earth is sinking into itself, the planet’s heavy gravity is causing the core to slowly implode. He was told as long as he keeps hitting baseballs into the air, the balance of the gravity-to-baseball-mass quotient will remain low enough to stave off the implosion. Watch daily Marlins baseball games as Brian attempts to save the world!

Eddie Rosario – 2-for-4, 2 runs, HR (15). After an awful May where he hit .241 with just 3 homers, he hit .368 in May with 6 homers! Wowee! May must be his month! You’d think that BUT–in June he already got 6 homers–NBD! AND he’s rocking a .333/.410.741 slash with a 1.151 OPS! If you have a hard time reading amazing stats, those are very good numbers.

Devon Travis – 2-for-3, 2 runs, HR (3), 2 RBI. *insert Drake nah not interested pic on meme labeled Toronto infielders Devon Travis*

Yangervis Solarte – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 HR (14), 3 RBI. *insert Drake hotline bling approves meme pic labeled Toronto infielders Yangervis Solarte* Wow, that memes even funnier typed out with no visual aid, huh? Yangy is just 4 home runs shy of his career high and will likely crush that number. Hotline bling drake approves.

Aaron Sanchez – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 3 ER, 2 BB, 8 K. Third QS in a row for Sanchez. Is Aaron starting to turn it around? Is he finally realizing the potential fantasy owners have known he’s had for years? Is he definitely not going to get hurt again this year, like, right away? Are the Blue Jays starting to finally clique and ’bout to make a run!? The answer to all these questions is: no, probably not, no.

Ryan Tepera – 1.0 IP, 1 hit, K, SV (4). He’s got a 2.86 ERA with 36 Ks! Add a little soy sauce and some saves and this fried Tepera should be owned everywhere at this point.

Anthony Rendon – 3-for-4. Is it a buy low opportunity if the guy hit .300 with 24 homers and 100 RBI last year? Well, he’s not doing any of those things this year so I’m telling you it’s a buy low.

Clayton Richard – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, 6th win. If you started the hodgepadre in Atlanta you deserve every piece of this win. Wow, so badass good for you. You started a pitcher, big f-n deal. As for me, I’m not bitter your bitter. What impresses me most about Richard is he’s pitched 6.0 innings or more in nine out of his 10 starts this season–and six of those have been seven innings or more! Dude is a horse. A stallion. Like seriously nay nay, Clay. Nay. Nay. He’s won three in a row and his 7.4 K/9 sits at a career high which makes me real happy but his 4.31 ERA is hard to trust which makes me real scared. Still I’d 100% grab him for his start in SF next week. The whole-one-hun, people!

Freddy Galvis – 5-for-5, HR (4), 4 RBI. It was the first five hit game of Freddy Galvis’ career. But you kind of already figured that much didn’t you?

Jose Pirela – 1-for-4, 2 runs, HR (1), 2 RBI. It is very hard for me to believe, as calmly as possible, that a Major League Baseball team bats a player in the heart of their lineup that currently has hit just one home run with 21 RBI in 70+ games. It’s even harder for me to believe that player has somehow scored 40 runs.

Freddie Freeman – 1-for-3, HR (15). I own Freddie in my most important, high priority, longest running, VIP, if-I-lose-this-league-I-will-cry league and he is my rock. I will never forget the day he broke his wrist on a HBP and the very next day returned with three hits and a home run. Trainers will say that that Freddie had no structural damage, and the wrist was not, in fact, broken. But I know the truth, Freddie, who leads the NL with .342 batting average and a 1.031 OPS, homered with a broken wrist for me. And for that I will always be most thankful.

Brent Suter – 7.0 IP, 6 hits, ER, BB, 3 K, 7th win. For a guy with a 4.30 ERA, the seven wins was a bit shocking. Remember Jose Urena with the eight losses and that sick WHIP? No? That was like 10 blurbs ago, man, what do you want from me? Suter’s biggest draw is his team and those sweet, sweet dubyas, but it’s Suter’s .222/.364/.444 slash that helps get the Brew Crew in the win column on days Brent’s on the bump (he scored two runs last night). He gets a nice match up in Pittsburgh next week and I might possibly consider the prospect of maybe thinking about mulling over the possibility of contemplating whether or not I should review the option of potentially streaming him. I don’t know for sure though.

Jake Arrieta – 3.1 IP, 7 hits, 4 ER, 2 BB, K. Jake gave up 8 runs but at least half of that we can credit to the defense, that’s still 4 ER a start from my ace. He’s given up 18 runs (13 ER) in his past 14.2 IP but worse is the 9/5 K/BB rate in that stretch. I can own Nick Pivetta or Vince Velasquez if I want a pitcher who’s giving up 4 ER a start, at least those guys get me Ks.

Odubel Herrera – 2-for-4, HR (8). His first home run since May 19. It’s been a tough fall from grace for the Phillies lately. I think Garfield shipped Odie off to Abu Dhabi for the month. Hey, that’s two Garfield references in one post, everybody know that’s good luck!

Christian Yelich – 1-for-4, 2 runs, HR (9), 2 RBI. The Brewers scored 11 runs on 13 hits and Yelich is slashing .301/.372/.482 45 runs scored, 9 homers and seven steals. Despite being a Scientologist, I cannot hide my love for Christian. I am buying whatever he is selling in this Brewers line up.

Hernan Perez – 3-for-5, 2 runs, HR (4). Hernan tends to contribute across the board fantasy wise. He’s got that power, speed, decent-average paired with the right line up to get good counting stats. He’s got everything fantasy owners look for in an add, except playing time.

Charlie Morton – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, 3 ER, 4 BB 9 K, 8th win. FOUR WALKS! No! Noooo. Siiiiit. Sorry my dog just overheard me and went crazy. Morton has now walked 10 in his past two starts after walking ten in the six starts preceding that. Ugh. Are we really doing this again, Charlie. I thought you put this behind you. His 2.94 ERA and 1.14 WHIP and 105/33 K/BB are elite and if you can sell based on these numbers then do that, but you probs can’t so you might as well just own the high-3s even-higher-Ks pitcher that Morton inevitably is and be happy about it.

Alex Bregman – 1-for-4, HR (9). Last week I said I’d own Yelich over Bregman and almost broke the internet with the rage. I am open to the debate any time. Keep doing this Bregman and you can change my mind in no time.

Evan Gattis – 2-for-4, Grand Slam HR (14). He’s hitting .320 with 4 dingers and 15 RBI in the past week. Gattis is out-ribbying all the Houston studs with 46, and June has been especially good to him hitting .288 with 7 homers. He’s hotter than #worldcup trending on twitter and Gattis could be Team USA’s hat-trick Ronaldo.

Carlos Correa – 2-for-4, HR (12). Yeah, but he’s not Ronaldo.

Ian Desmond – 2-for-5, 2 HR (14). Desmond said, “See you in anuva life, brutha!” before mashing his second dinger. That’s a LOST reference. Remember that show? I seem to remember Grey telling us all to buy Desmond, over and over. He was all like, “Yo what up, buy this Desmond guy.” And you were all like, “you mean the guy who’s hitting .203?” and Grey was all like, “Yeah.” Well, Ian’s got 10 runs, 5 home runs and 11 RBI with a steal in the past two weeks and three in the past three games. As the weather warms up in Calarado so will Desmond. This could be your last chance to buy!

Nolan Arenad0 – 3-for-4, HR (13). His .312/.406/.557 slash and 13 jacks are beautiful but its his 40 RBI that make me long for our past together when I owned him in all leagues. When I miss him most, I open up the window so I can get that sweet, cool breeze on my face that takes me back, “Ah, a Torenado.”

Jurickson Profar – 1-for-3, HR (7). With Andrus set to return next week, Profar could see a much diminished role and the Rangers could take on a bit of a different look. Which is hard because I’d gotten really used to streaming against Texas.

John Hicks – 1-for-4, 2 runs, HR (6). Hicks was a BUY! He is hitting .500 hundred in the past week which is real nice. But he also hit a homer Friday night which is “noice.” Note the spelling. I have’t told you the best part yet: he’s a catcher. How do I even spell that noice?

Michael Wacha – 4.0 IP, 7 hits, 8 ER, 4 BB, 2 K. The joke’s on you. After allowing just three homers in his previous 12 starts, Michael serves up three bombs Friday night. Wacha Wacha! Not funny.

Ian Happ – 1-for-5, 2 runs, HR (9). You just dropped him didn’t you. Well, I guess, pick him back up? I don’t know anymore.

Albert Almora, Jr. – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBI. Kris Bryant and Kyle Schwarber homered and Anthony Rizzo and Addison Russell each chipped in 3 hits a piece as the Cubs scored 13 on 14 hits. Which Cubs do I even start anymore!? It’s Maddon-ing!

Marcell Ozuna – 2-for-4, HR (9). OZUNA and Matt Carpenter (2-for-4, HR (9)) went to the same Ayahuasca retreat together last weekend. They drank poisonous sludge and saw visions of their careers flashing before their eyes. Stanton was there, and so was Albert Pujols. Pretty sure Thanos was there, too. Anyway, after purging/vomiting for 2 straight hours, they hydrated for another two hours and slept for the next 16 hours. Then they woke up, headed to Busch Stadium, and started mashing baseballs. Cured!

Tyler Skaggs – 7.0 IP, 7 hits, 0 ER, BB, 8 K, 6th win. Boz Skaggs has been Lowdown dirty lately with a 22/4 K/BB, 1 run allowed and three wins in his past three starts. You should probably pick him up if you haven’t already.

Ian Kinsler – 1-for-4, HR (9). He homered last week after I called him a racist! Let’s keep this ball a-rollin’ I own him all over now! You still kind of a racist!

Ross Stripling – 6.1 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, 6 K, 6th win. When a pitcher throws a gem like this and his ERA goes up to 1.76, you know you’ve probably got a pretty good pitcher on your hands. That 78/11 K/BB doe. Sweet. Sassy. Molassy.

Matt Kemp – 1-for-4, HR (11). Kemp is slashing an awesome .335/.370/.566 in his time with the Dodgers this year and he is a just sucha Dodger IMHO TBH IDK IDC TYVM. I love that he didn’t take that shove from Chirinos and gave him a you-don’t-push-me-fam push back instead. But I really love that’s he’s appealing the one game suspension and hopefully he sends Manfred a you-don’t-suspend-me-I-suspend-you notice back instead.

Pablo Sandoval – 2-for-3, HR (5), 2 RBI. Five homers and a .281/348/.455 slash for Panda so far, he obviously just performs better in SF where there’s way less expectation and pressure and way more burrito restaurants.

Zack Godley – 6.2 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 3 BB, 8 K, W. Two wins in a row with eight Ks in each. Yes, more pls. Puppet Grey mentioned Godley in one of the recent vids. He’s not divine but he should be much better than he has been going forward.

Jon Jay– 3-for-5, 2 runs, RBI. After starting 0-for-12 as a D-Back, it seems Jay has finally gotten used to those 90+ degree Arizona evening nights as he’s gone 10-for-17 with 5 runs and 6 RBI in the past four games. He’s still available in over half of leagues and hitting .400 in the past week. I would own him as long as he’s hitting lead off in this stacked Diamondbacks line up and as long as Paul Goldscmidt is hitting everything in existence.

Paul Goldschmidt – 3-for-5, 2 runs, HR (14), 2 RBI. Hitting .448 in the past week with 10 runs, 4 homers and 9 RBI. He’s got six homers and a 1.462 OPS in June. Mmm. Oh hey, Pauly G. Welcome back. Nice of you to finally join us. Still a sell low or nah?

Daniel Descalso – 2-for-2, HR (8), 3 RBI. Hitting .467 in the past week with a homer and 8 RBI. See all that stuff I said about Jay. Owning any player with any kind of proximity to Paul Goldschmidt right now might be a good idea.

Dominic Smith – 2-for-4, HR (1). With Adrian Gonzalez finally out of the picture Dominic will get his chance to show us what he’s got, again. Smith is a player who’s been mentioned many times on here before, and has plenty of offensive upside but the .262/.346/.364 slash and two ding dongs at AAA is not exactly inspiring. Sad Mets are sad right now. Not even Michael Conforto can make them cool. And that guy’s the coolest.

James Paxton – 2.1 IP, 6 hits, 5 ER, BB, 4 K. To be fair, the Red Sawx aren’t exactly the easiest assignment for Pax, but to be even more fair, or fairer m’lady, it’s not going to get any easier as he heads to Yankee stadium next week. If I’m not mistaken Puppet Grey told you to sell based on injury history alone. I agree, and now’s your chance before he gets rekt by the Yankees too and getting elite value for him will be more difficult at that point.

Mike Zunino – 2-for-4, HR (11), 2 RBI. Two homers in the past week. Q: Drop Zunino for Hicks? Hicks for Zunino? I just picked up Hicks then I scroll and see Zunino what should I do? A: Add both. I like to own at least 3 catchers to maximize the numbers of ABs my opponents are getting over me.

Rick Porcello – 6.0 IP, 7 hits, 4 ER, BB, 9 K. If you give up four runs but leave with the lead, can you be mad at the bullpen for blowing your win?

Jean Segura – 2-for-4, HR (6). Another sell high candidate, perhaps? Only because the power numbers won’t really be there going forward so most of Segura’s value is tied up in that rad average (radverage?) and his speed and counting stats. Which are very nice. Noice even. Ooh, 52 runs. On second thought. Maybe you hold onto this guy?

Xander Bogaerts – 1-for-4, 3-run HR(11). When me and Xander play Fortnite together, I always go in first to scout while X stays back and snipes. Sure, I die a lot more, but its for the good of the squad says X. I’m just happy to be in Xander’s squad. He’s my #1 Victory Royal.

Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!