Imagine discovering a band forty years after their relevant period. Then imagine you’re Grey Albright. Your mustache is thick and handsome, you run a fantasy baseball empire, and you just discovered the Blue Öyster Cult! Did anyone ask for more cowbell? Well, unfortunately we can’t provide you any sweet, sweet cowbell, but we can take you through the week in Fantasy Baseball, one outlandish conversation at a time. We of course spend half the show discussing recent call-ups, before diving into Josh Bell’s breakout, Brandon Woodruff coming of age, and if Rafael Devers is a top three round pick in the making. While we’re in good spirits I encourage Grey to take a victory lap for Adalberto Mondesi’s early returns, before running through some good adds for the week ahead. It’s the Razzball podcast, we don’t need no stinkin’ badges!   

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But so far he’s made me wanna roll my windows down and snoooooooze. Nelson Cruz wasn’t doing what we all drafted him to do anyway so maybe this rest will do him a body good. He’s designated to only hit 7 HRs and 22 RBI? Not on my team! Cruz is saying he’ll be back on May 24th when eligible. I say take all the time you need and remember who you are and become what you are supposed to be. Replacement: Albert Almora (3.2%) has been on a tear in his last 15 games. In 53 ABs he’s got 12 runs, 3 HR, 7 RBI with a .340 AVG. Almora has always had a solid average, but just never gets enough starts to improve. He’s never been a high HR guy, never been a huge SB guy — just average and the runs and RBI that sometimes come with that. Maybe if he starts getting more starts he can develop either more power or speed.

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All gravy as us Italians-Americans say. New York Yankees rookie flamethrower slash phenom slash spot starter Jonathan Loaisiga made his major league debut Friday night pitching five strong shutout innings, giving up just three hits, four walks and striking out six for his first MLB vicky in ever. Called up from Double-A Trenton Johnny was 3-1 with a 3.00 ERA, 1.13 WHIP, and 58/4 K/BB ratio through 45 innings. If that K/BB just made your eyes pop like mine did, it’s because the four walks he issued last night in his debut are the same number he’s walked all season in AA. Perhaps some of the struggles he had with his control Friday night were more nerves or jitters and less indicators of what’s to come from Loaisiga. Despite the four free passes, he was excellent out of the gate, Johnny Lasagna layered on the cheese, striking out four in the first two innings with his real pretty mid-90s fastball mixed in with his slider (17 swings and misses induced) and was helped out by a couple double plays. He hit some trouble in the fourth, but managed to pitch his way out of a sticky bases-loaded two-out situation by striking out Christian Arroyo. Yankee fans are calling him “Johnny Lasagna” because he’s a-spicy meatballs-a! Mama mia!  Rays manager Kevin Cash called him Little Riviera. That seems a bit over-the-top as well. Either way, I am calling him a player to watch after that performance. Lil’ Jon is telling you to Get Loaisiga, but Jon always jumps the gun on these rookie pitchers. Loaisiga’s first major league stint might be a short one, but I could see him sticking around for another start or two while Masahiro Tanaka is still on the DL and much like this whole Yankees team, his future is very bright. He lines up for another home start next week versus the red-hot Mariners, and I could see streaming him there and for the short term. Add him or no, Johnny Lasagna is not just Garfield’s new favorite player, he’s a name fantasy baseballers are going to hear a lot going forward. He was a BUY and he’s worth a grab for the upside alone, the layers of cheese and pasta are all just bonus.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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Said like DJ Khaled, “Another one.”  The Rays called up Willy Adames (1-for-2, 2 RBIs) as they placed Daniel Robertson on the DL.  You might remember him better as Commander Willy Adames of the Battlestar Galactica.  S’nerdy.  “Hey, Grey, if your mustache wasn’t so full and well-groomed, I’d noogie you so hard.”  That’s you reading my Battlestar Galactica reference.  Sorry, guys and girls, there’s space for both of us.  Bam!  A line I think I’m quoting but prolly not.  Any hoo!  Captain Adames is a Xander Bogaerts-type, according to Prospector Ralph.   On the top 100 fantasy baseball prospect list, he wrote, “One of toughest types to rank on top prospects lists. The middle infield prospect, who has always been young for his level, with advanced hitting, but neither standout speed or power. Adames might take a few seasons to find mixed leagues relevance, but he should develop enough power to be a very viable shortstop option by 2020.  By which time Grey’s a distant memory and I run this ‘itch!”  What is up with that, man?!  Adames is the kind guy hard to get excited about if he’s a 15/10/.280 hitter, but since he’s only 22 years old, if he grows into more power, he could be a future high-end shortstop.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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I went into the Mike Foltynewicz vs. Red Sox in Fenway matchup a spry, jovial young rascal.  The mischievous imp of Chinese food, the rapscallion.  Then Mike Faultywirewitz went 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners (3 BBs), 7 Ks, ERA at 2.55, and I aged forty years.  “I was told just the painting of me is supposed to age.”  That’s me trying to get a refund for my Dorian Grey Albright portrait.  The time Finkynewhitch was on the mound was like the three-year span when I lost my fortune investing in Beanie Babies compressed into two hours.  He just loses all semblance of the strike zone out of completely nowhere.  It’s like, “We’re cruising….so cruising…And now I’m throwing five feet outside the strike zone.”  With that said, it’s hard not to be encouraged — his velocity is up to 96 MPH; his K/9 is up to 10.4; he’s got the best xFIP of his career, and his team should provide run support.  He’s also in his third full year when I like to look for starter breakouts.  The only drawback is his command is a mess.  As long as you watch him pitch with cucumbers on your eyes to combat the wrinkles, you’ll be fine.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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This is Rich Hill’s second DL stint of the year already. What were you expecting? Now he’s asking the MLB to allow him to pitch with tape on his finger. He’s also asking around the Dodgers locker room if anyone will pee on his hands. I’d be surprised if either side said yes. Stash or Trash: Sure go ahead stash him — just don’t set up a Google alert for his name or your phone will literally explode with weekly injury updates. He’s going to miss a month this time. Trash in shallow leagues. Fill In: Vince Velasquez (22.8%.) VV is someone who we’ve all been tempted by due to his 10+ K/9 potential. However, that came with a BB/9 over 4 and a HR/9 close to 2 most of his career. He’s been limiting his walks so far this year though — he’s only allowed more than two walks once. He’ll always be prone to getting blown up like his 4 IP/6 ER start against the Braves or his 4.2 IP/4 ER start against the Diamondbacks at the end of April, but if he can limit the walks and keep the ball in the yard slightly less against lesser opponents — he could be a solid matchups play.

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Yesterday’s Cubs/Braves matinee was Jose Quintana (4 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.23) vs. Julio Teheran (6 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 1 K, ERA at 3.49).  This start was billed as, “Was The Wind Blowing Out Or Do These Guys Suck?”  A very quizzical billing.  I don’t own Quintana, but I hear your calls to place a flag on a sound stage in Hollywood and say it’s the moon and continue to own Quintana or if it’s cheese.  Guys (and five girls), things aren’t good — Ks are way down; walks are way up; velocity is down; this is the worst he’s looked in the majors.  Now, the good news, it’s relatively good, at least.  He had a 5.60 ERA last through the end of May last year, and a 3.41 ERA in the last 124 IP last year.  He also upped his Ks last June thru September and, until we see different, I think he could take the same route to success this year.  Or not (nice hedge, dopey!), but I’d hold to see.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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FanDuel Friday, are we ready to party? And by party I mean drink exactly one beer and watch round two of the NFL Draft. Any takers? No? Fine, I guess I’ll do it myself, just like I did this DFS research. Let’s get into it.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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Greetings, deep-league friends! Welcome to the small but comfy little corner of Razzball where we talk about baseball players who may be relevant to those playing in AL-only, NL-only, and other deep leagues. Last week we concentrated mostly on the 1-2% owned types that are likely only on the radar of those involved in the deepest NL or AL-only leagues. This week, we’ll open it up a bit and consider players as long as they fall under the 20% owned threshold, while still dipping all the way down to the 1% types. (All % owned stats are from CBS sports leagues.  This, in my opinion, tends to be the best happy medium of ownership thresholds, between the sometimes wacky shallowness of Yahoo/ESPN leagues, and the oft-crazy percentages you’ll see on a site like Fantrax with all of their daily-change leagues). Since we have more players to cover than usual, let’s get right to it:

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Continuing his NL-West dominance, Tyson Ross took a no-hitter into the eighth inning Friday night, allowing just one earned run off one hit (a pinch-hit Christian Walker double) and three walks while striking out ten. I’m sorry but I just completely blanked on everything you said before, “while striking out ten.” Tyson was tattooing faces and D-Backs, the 7.2 innings pitched was a season high and it took him 127 pitches to get there. He was just four outs from San Diego’s first no-hitter in ever, but nah. SAD! Another day I guess? You’ll get there, Padres. Errr. Don’t force it. Welp. Regardless, it might be premature to re-anoint Ross the ultimate hodgepadre status he achieved in 2014-2015 season when logged ERAs of 2.81 and 3.26, but things are looking promising early. Let’s face it, Texas is where pitchers go to die when Colorado’s roster is full. Just ask Bartolo Colon. Ross’ back in San Diego where he can pick up where he left off. He’s currently sporting a sparking 2.81 ERA with a 1.01 WHIP, and its the 3.21 xFIP, 23.5 K% and 6.9 BB% that got me all hyped up and mouth-punchey on Tyson. Ross will face a true test next week when he takes on the Rockies at Coors, and while I can’t recommend him for this start, I’ll be watching it closer than the Westworld premiere because robots doing human things is clearly more interesting to me than humans doing human things. Look I’m not trying to bite your ear off (zing!), I’m just suggesting you give Tyson Ross a good look. He’s available almost everywhere and he’s got the history, the ballpark and the skillz to be undisputed heavyweight champion of the world–err, I mean, hes got the skills to be a very solid starter all season long, in other words, he wants to eat your children.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?