Home Run Hat Trick As The Martian Dominguez Sends Three To The Moon

Yankees outfielder slash phenom slash heartthrob slash extraterrestrial Jasson Dominguez had himself a career night Friday with a three home runs and seven runs batted in including a grand slam in the eighth inning that put the Yankees up ten runs. Have a day rook! And since I know you’ll ask (no one asks) here’s the first one, and here’s the second one. Yes, please and more games like this thank you. In case you didn’t watch the videos (no one watches), he hit two from the left and one from the right. Just how I like it! They call him the Martian for a reason, those tanks were other worldly, and he definitely sent a few souvenirs back to another planet. He’s the youngest Yankee to ever notch the hat trick passing some guy named Joe DiMaggio. Is this the breakout we’ve been waiting for? Was he definitely on my bench? Is he better than Gunnar Henderson? Or is it just the A’s itty bitty wittle baby ballpark? I don’t know. Yes. I don’t know. And probably somewhat. Well, I heard he’s from Mars, but he sent this ball to Jupiter, so let’s not give bing bong all the ding dong credit. I know we’ve been patient, and we have to be with a rookie, especially a Yankees rookie as they can always buy someone better. Still, Jasson appreciation should see inflation with A’s cooperation and degradation. Would that have been a better headline? JD is hitting close to .400 over the past week and slashing .375/.450/1.000 in May after an extremely underwhelming April that saw him slash .238/.312/.393. He also increased his OPS over 100 points to .802 with the (inter)stellar performance. His overall .250/.339/.463 slash seems underwhelming maybe, but he does lead all rookies in home runs, I mentioned the OPS and the 128 wRC+ is also very nice to look at. I’d add him wherever he’s available (75% of ESPN leagues) but I luv da rooks and that sweet upside and own him all over the place already. Naysayers will always say nay and accuse this game from of inflating Jasson’s stats but I think (hope) it’s obvious to Mr. Manager Boone that the Martian has finally landed and he needs to be playing every day. This kid’s gonna be a star! Ha-cha-cha!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Paul Goldschmidt – 2-for-4, HR (4). Au Shizzzz! Pauly G is finally playing where he belongs, as close as possible the Jersey Shore where he can get his GTL and HRs did. The power ain’t fully there yet but the .345/.397/.486 is Jwoww! Cards must feel dumb. That’s the situation! Pauly G is a Jersey sure thing!

Will Warren – 7.1 IP, 4 hits, ER, BB, 7 K, 2nd win. I Will Warren you if you don’t add him someone else might! Definitely the best start of his young career as it’s the first start he’s made it past the fifth inning. I need to see more but if he impresses in Seattle next week I won’t hesistate. I am ready to love again.

Dennis Santana – 1.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, SV (4). David Bednar looked better (1.0 IP, 2 hits, 3 K, 3rd hold) facing the top of the order in the eighth inning, and Santana’s poor performance likely only solidified Mr. Manager’s confidence in Bednar as his closer going forward. I say, choose your poison!

Tarik Skubal – 7.0 IP, 2 hits, ER, 12 K, 4th win. Ahh, yes another vintage Skubal performance, who started this game off retiring the first 15 hitters he faced. He didn’t surrender a hit until the sixth inning to Josh Smith (a BUY) when he got into a little trouble hitting a batter and allowing a run to score off dinky blooper. And that was it for base runners for Tarik. Good effort, Rangers, try again next time, basically. He racked up 32 whiffs over the course of his 96 pitch outing, that’s a CSW of 45%. Sweet sassy molassy! That is very, very good. If you didn’t know yet this guy is the balls. The nails. Other random object nouns. The 60/5 K/BB is the best in the American League, and that 2.08 ERA, 0.88 WHIP ratios, my goodness I need a cold shower. I know we don’t draft top end starters, but damn wouldn’t it be fun to own this guy.

Patrick Corbin – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, 4 BB, 3 K. P-Cor did his best Tarik impression but the tone of the voice was off and and the mannerisms all wrong. Still, he kept up with him as much as one 15 year vet keeps up with Tarik Skubal. Impressed? Kind of. His 3.13 ERA is, surprising? He hosts a *chefs kiss* matchup versus Colorado next week, too. I could see considering the prospect of maybe thinking about mulling over the possibility of contemplating whether or not I should review the option of potentially picking him up. I still don’t know for sure though!

Colt Keith – 2-for-3, run, RBI. He was a BUY and he’s been hot. These two often go hand in hand. He’s hitting .421 with two homers in the past week. He’s also named Colt, which is a top tier name as far as coolness goes. I’ve never met a Colt in my life. Where are all these Colts hanging out, I’d like to meet them.

Will Vest – 1.0 IP, K, SV (4). Tommy Kahnle pitched the eighth, and Mr. Manager Hinch said see my Vest for the ninth. WV seems to be the go-to closer at the moment, but that could change at any, er, moment. Still the 2.12 ERA and 1.00 WHIP are nice. He needs to be owned.

Erick Fedde – 9.0 IP, 6 hits, 0 ER, 0 BB, 8 K. Revenge game for petty Fedde who’s steady as Nats aren’t ready. Fedde is petty in revenge game as Nats look unsteady. Fedde stays steady eats up the Nats like spaghetti.  Can you believe you missed out on one of these superior headlines?  That’s right, Erick Fedde threw his first ever complete game shut out Friday night and almost stole the lede. He did it against his former team too, hence the pettiness. He was hit pretty hard, but as the Cards have been wont to do, those hits ended up on the ground or in gloves and the two double play balls didn’t hurt. He gets the repeat chance the Phillies, pick him up if you hate yourself.

Zack Littell – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, BB, 5 K. Little by Littell he giving me confidence he could one day be a really effective streamer for me and my baseball team. This is actually his fifth quality start in a  row, which is not nothing for a guy who lost his first five games.

Jackson Chourio – 3-for-5, run, 2 SB (5). I was honestly ready for the huge step forward from Chourio this year and did not expect the Brewers to look so bad. I know it’s early but the five steals surprised me as shockingly low. I figured he’s at least getting you steals, but I guess he’s got three in the past week. Do I see a buy low opportunity?

Clay Holmes – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 3 BB, 5 K, 5th win. Talk about a smashing success to his starting pitching career, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a reliever to starter conversion go this successful. Clay has now won five of his past six starts and gone six innings in three of his last four. The ratios back it all up too, with a sparkling 2.95 ERA and 1.28 WHIP and he gets the juiciest matchup with the Pirates next week. Never underestimate what the Mets will do to make the Yankees look bad.

Kyle Tucker – 1-for-4, HR (10). The .951 OPS is elite as are the 10 homers. It’s also nice we get a taste of him in blue before he signs with the Dodgers this offseason.

Juan Soto – 2-for-4, HR (8). Remember when we thought he was having problems assimilating in the clubhouse and heard he would only talk to the bullpen guys. Turns out that’s only because they’re in his Marvel Rivals discord. Hitting .318 with three homers in the past week. He looks fine to me, ignore the TMZ headlines, the Mets might just be a wagon, ya’ll!

Francisco Lindor – 3-for-5, HR (8), SB (5). Jeff McNeil (2) and Bret Baty (2) also homered. The Mets had 13 hits in this one and Lindo set the tone with a leadoff home run. Tone setting is sort of his thing. On the field and off. I was gonna link the highlight to the homer, and I will, but I thought this was a much more important highlight to share.

Luisangel Acuna – 1-for-4, RBI, SB (10). He was a BUY, he steals bases and honestly it just feels good to whip out the Alt-164 for the first time in a while. Miss you, Ronnie.

Gavin Williams – 5.0 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, 4 BB, 8 K, 3rd win. He’s slowly bringing that ERA down from the 5+ it was at the beginning of May. Is May Gavin’s month? The 10.95 K/9 is nice. The 5.59  BB/9 notsomuch. He does get a nice matchup with the Brewers next week. He’s not Gavin you much so far, but he is Gavin you Ks!

Jose Ramirez – 2-for-4, HR (6). The most underrated star is the league might be headed towards overrated status if he doesn’t starting cranking more of these bay boys. I meant to type bad boys but when editing I decided not to correct. Bay boys it is! How do we feel about those CityConnects? Do not hate, with the guards statues in the CLE. Solid B.

Kyle Manzardo – 2-for-4, HR (9). The power is definitely  there. The consistency has not been. I see buy low potential here if you can handle the .221 average.

Michael Lorenzen – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, 7 K. His best start of the year but it was against the Dead Sox who have a looming cloud of Rafael Devers insubordination looming over them. Baseball players just hate playing beisbol. I can understand Raffy, who was told by the GM in March he sucks so bad at defense they want him to DH, but who’s to say he won’t suck just as bad at first base? Boston media will be roasting him to the moon after his first error so I get the hesitation but it all seems a little unsportsmanlike.

Hunter Dobbins – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, 6 K. So we have one bright spot in the Red Sox doom cloud of a season so far, Dobbins looks worth way more than an old sock, Harry Potter, and his 2.78 ERA and 19/4 K/BB are better than anything a Sox pitcher outside of Garrett Crochet have put up. Naturally he could be the one to lose his spot when Walker Buehler returns.

Max Meyer – 6.1 IP, 5 hits, 5 ER, 3 BB, 5 K, 4th L. Regression fairies don’t care about the pope, they voted for John Lithgow and they will destroy your ratios. That’s three rough starts in a row for Max after his 14 K coming out party versus Cinnci back on April 21. The 52/16 K/BB is still worth holding onto but we need better versus the White Sox, right? Is the Pope working his miracle magic for his ChiSox already? If anything can bring them back to relevancy at this point its the papacy.

Hunter Brown – 5.2 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 4 BB, 9 K, 6th win. That’s Cy Young front runner Hunter Brown to you, who lowered his ERA to 1.48 with the start. He wasn’t particularly efficient in this start either but when you have 99 mph gas and a knuckle curve like this it doesn’t really matter.

Chris Paddack – 7.1 IP, 3 hits, ER, 6 K, 1st win. I’ve been trying to make Chris Paddack happen for so long I forgot how fetch he used to be. He hadn’t pitched this deep into the game in over a year, and if you take out his disastrous 2025 debut where he gave up nine runs to the White Sox, he’s got a 2.51 ERA and sub-1 WHIP over the past month. He gets the Orioles next week and I don’t know if that’s a good matchup or not anymore. Regardless, I’ll be watching him closer than the newest The Last of Us, which is to say I won’t be watching at all anymore for reasons I won’t spoil. I’m so over it!

Byron Buxton – 2-for-3, run. One of the hits was a triple, which is normally a play you would hold your breathe watching BB round second praying he doesn’t tear his MCL. He’s got a 15 game on base streak and is hitting over .400 with three homers, a steal and 8 RBI over the past week. This could be the best start we’ve seen from Buxton. It’s it too late to say a 31 year old has arrived?

Manny Machado – 3-for-4, 2 runs, RBI. Just when you think the Rockies can’t get more pathetic the Padres put up a dozen spot on 16 hits. Is German Marquez the best Rockies pitcher ever? Ubaldo? I know they made the World Series like 20 years ago I just can’t imagine how.

Ryan McMahon – 3-for-5, 3 runs, HR (5). Jordan Beck also homered (6). Here’s some life! What’s sad is how fire those CityConnects are (I love fashion!), but who’s buying a Ryan McMahon jersey? Also, that’s a pretty packed stadium for a six win team, even if most of that crowd is probably Padres fans.

Hunter Goodman – 3-for-5, 2 runs, TBI. I rip on the Rox and they deserve to be ripped but they did make this a game somewhat with 16 hits and 9 runs scored, but it’s hard to get excited about Jordan Beck’s homer when they’re down 11 runs (ELEVEN) in the eighth inning.

Kevin Gausman – 5.1 IP, 7 hits, 3 ER, 0 BB, 3 K, 3rd win, ERA at 3.97. I drafted him. I did this to myself. Now I watch his starts with one eye closed. The sub-1 WHIP is elite, and the 40/12 k/BB is also very nice. Why don’t I trust him? Do we need some kind of exercises or bonding retreat to bring us closer together. Do my trust issues stem from drafting Gunnar Henderson?

Addison Barger – 3-for-4, run, 2 RBI. Gimenez is headed to the IL which opens up PT for Bargs who has yet to go deep but is hitting the stuffing out of beisbols anyway and batting over .400 in the past week. Lack of over-the-fence power seems to be a problem plaguing all the Blue Jays so I’ll go easy on him for now.

Tomoyuki Sugano – 7.1 IP, 3 hits, ER, 5 K, 4th win. Tomo arrigato, Mr. Sugano! My strategy of drafting all Japanese pitchers in one league has been working surprisingly well. Dealt a blow with Imanaga injury but Yamamoto is a true fantasy Ace and it’s clear Tomo can throw baseballs. He’s already got three seven inning outings! The Ks leaving something to be desired but he’s rocking a 1.47 ERA and 0.82 WHIP over the past two weeks. He looks like the O’s Ace at the very least.

Gunnar Henderson – 2-for-4, HR (4), slashing .258/.305/.450. He seems to be coming out of his funk but I’m still mad so–Players that have more home runs than Gunnar Henderson: Andrew Benintendi, Daniel Schneemann, Michael Toglia, Tim Tawa, Trevor Larnach and many more!

Jackson Holliday – 2-for-3, RBI. He was a BUY! I’m not sure I’m in any leagues where he’s actually available, and I’m in an embarrassing amount of leagues, but if he is you need to add him now. Two homers batting .368 over the past week.

Enrique Hernandez – 3-for-5, 3 runs, HR (6), 2 RBI. If you need proof that Dave Roberts is one of the best Mr. Managers in baseball just take a look at what he gets from Kiké Hernandez, who I can assure is not very good but not-for-nothing also has more home runs than Gunnar Henderson.

Ketel Marte – 2-for-3, 3 runs, 2 HR (3). We call this a Ketel One Shot. But he wasn’t done there, he succumbed to peer pressure for a second Ketel shot and that’s when things get fuzzy. I’m not saying he blacked out but he probably shouldn’t be driving anyone home. Thankfully both were solo shots.

Eugenio Suarez – 2-for-5, 3 runs HR (11), 3 RBI. I always type Eduardo Suarez and have to double check myself. Is that racist? I hope not. Eugenio, Eugenio, repetition is key to remembering, matched a Ketel one shot of his own! The 11 homers are slightly skewed by his four homer game but nice of him to provide 26 RBI with that .210 average. Also, can we talk about these CityConnects?? Sorry all, I just love clothes and style. You should read my fashion blog. I am feeling these colors and like the logo even if it doesn’t make any sense for the team. I wish the logo was an “A” Snek or something, or is it S for Serpientes? Ugh, just change the name already.

Roki Sasaki – 4.0 IP, 5 hits, 5 ER, 2 BB, 0 K, ERA at 4.72. Even as a middling middle reliever (two middles) I feel like he’s unrosterable right now outside of keeper formats. Dodgers gave him eight runs of support and he still couldn’t make it through five. Sure he was pulled after 60 pitches but can’t blame Mr. Manager there. Zero whiffs, zero strikeouts. Zero tears left to cry, Ari. Tough blow to my Japanese pitching staff for sure but it’s time to say sayonara.

Eduardo Rodriguez – 2.2, 9 hits, 8 ER, 3 BB, 3 K. ERA at 7.30. You’d think I’d be out on him but the periphs are good and this was about as hard as its gonna get as far as matchups are concerned. Giants up next, now’s the time to pounce on Ed-Rod! Sneaky snakey buy! I look at that 7+ ERA and think, I can fix him! Maybe I’m just a sucker for abusive relationships.

Andy Pages – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBI. Pages was a BUY and has done nothing but hit beisbols even before Teoscar was sidelined. He’s hitting .400 over the past two weeks with two homers, three steals and 12 RBI. Take a Pages out of our handbook and grab him. He’s a real Pages turner! Are we on the same Pages now?

Kevin Ginkel – 0.1 IP, 4 hits, 5 ER, K. Welp. RIP my ratios. Shelby Miller owners got to be pleased I guess? Justin Martinez owners even more so!

Lourdes Gurriel Jr. – 1-for-4, Grand Slam HR (7), 5 RBI. This salami was especially exciting because it was the game tying variety. Cold cuts like that get me so HYPPPPPEEEE! That’s some gabagools! LouGuJu is now hitting over .300 with three tanks and 11 RBI since you dropped him.

Shohei Ohtani – 3-for-6, HR (12), 4 RBI. I always save the best for last and Shohei, my internet friends and weirdos, is the best. He also likes to save the best for last like ninth inning, go-ahead, 3-run homer last. I mean, should we be expecting anything less? This is kind of the most Ohtani thing ever. Other than this. Even his bat flips are the best in the business. Also, how you gonna let him do you like that LouGuJu?? In American, we call this “mocking.” This is the rivalry we need right now. Just the best player on the planet who fully keeps to himself randomly feuding with one of the Gurriel brothers. I fully expect LGJ to come back strong on Saturday. This is war now. There’s a current debate in sports media, is Aaron Judge the best right-handed hitter ever? Thankfully for Judge he’s dextral, and Ohtani isn’t, so A-aron can remain in the convo for best ever at something. As for Brohei, May seems to be his month, hitting .414 with five homers (yes, five) in the past week and he finally got his batting average above .300. Did I mention the 1.708 OPS? These are just Shohei things.

Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!