[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1346990″ player=”13959″ title=”2023 Razzball BUY SELL HOLD for Fantasy Baseball Week 15″ duration=”193″ description=”It’s the BUY, SELL HOLD for Fantasy Baseball Week 15! 0:37 Blake Snell 1:27 Adley Rutschman 2:22 Jake Burger” uploaddate=”2023-07-05″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1346990_th_64a5ee8349661_1688596099.jpg” image=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1346990_sd_64a5ee8349661_1688596099.jpg” contenturl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1346990.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]
Our father, who Arte Moreno knows in heaven that’s how he owns the Angels, hallowed be thy name, from kingdom come, from sea to shining sea, we’ve lived to see the day when the Orioles are way better than the Yankees. Luis Severino (2 2/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 7.38), the Yanks’ 2nd best pitcher, wouldn’t even make the Orioles’ pitching staff. I am howling like Jack Nicholson in Wolf. The Yankees would basically betroth Kyle Bradish (6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.32) to Rhoda Berra, Yogi’s grand niece, to join their team. The Yankees would give Lou Gehrig’s childhood home, that is currently in a giant glass case at the Steinbrenners’ ranch, for just one of their prospects. Send them Gunnar Henderson (4-for-7, 3 runs, 5 RBIs and his 12th and 13th homer) and the Yankees will give them the baseball fan who ran onto the field to congratulate Chris Chambliss, who has been in a dungeon for the last 45 years. That is their monkey’s paw and the Yanks will give it to the Orioles for just a taste of the Orioles’ success. I am laughing. What a world. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ryan O’Hearn – 3-for-4, 1 run, 4 RBIs, hitting .308. He won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but he’s clearly a schmotato that’s hot.
Michael Lorenzen – 5 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners (zero walks), 4 Ks, ERA at 4.03. Damn, I can’t believe I dropped the American League All-Star Lorenzen. Oh, that’s right, he’s not that good. This was a Streamonator call, as he faced the A’ss. Speaking of All-Star Game and A’ss, can I bet Sir Mix-A-Lot will serenade Cal Raleigh’s butt during All-Star Game pre-festivities in Seattle? Or Macklemore gets the game-winning hit in the celebrity softball game? I need action!
Jake Marisnick – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (2) and legs (2), hitting .221. As he rounded bases, Roger Marisnick Jr. stood and applauded. What a class act.
Marcus Stroman – 5 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.96. *blows out candles* “I wish for Marcus to be traded to Houston so I can call him Astroman.” I know, corny wish, but my birthday isn’t until January, so technically I don’t even get a wish.
Cody Bellinger – 4-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 8th homer, hitting .298. Ya know what’s interesting (it’s subjective), Bellinger and Yelich both seemed back in April, and only one continued that promise.
Yan Gomes – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer. That’s Yan Guron Ontario Michigan Erie Superior to you!
Christian Yelich – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (11) and legs (21), hitting .287. Just wrote up Yelich for my top 100 earlier today. It will be released on Tuesday (or tomorrow for Patreons). Any hoo! Damn fine 1st half for Yelich (and his mom).
Freddy Peralta – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.70. About the only starter ever who gained two miles on his fastball and became dogshizz. Never thought I’d say this, but maybe you throw it less fast.
Nolan Arenado – 1-for-3 and his 17th homer. 57 years ago, my grandmother threw her bra at Tom Jones, and I’ve finally retrieved it from his people. Here, let me show you, it’s by this open window—NOOOO!!! Torenado!
Jack Flaherty – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 11 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.27. He usually has one terrible start each month, i.e., Flaherty is fantasy baseball Russian roulette. “He’s facing the Nats? Oh, that’s great!” Two hours later, “Oh, God, why? Why? Why?” So, yeah, I don’t trust him.
Eury Perez – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.36. Hmm, kinda surprised to see him start again so soon. Marlins really trying to make him unusable next year, huh?
Nick Senzel – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. He won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but appears to be a light schmotato. By the by, Reds have like seven weapons in their lineup. Go home, Reds, you’re drunk!
Alex Call – 1-for-2, 3 runs and a slam (4) and legs (7). Alex Call? More like Batty Call! Bam! High five me! No? Okay.
Jose Altuve – Hit the IL with an oblique strain. His attending physician said, “I was looking at his x-ray…Well, you ever play the game Operation?”
Eugenio Suarez – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 10th and 11th homer. Eugenio has three homers in July, and hitting near-.250, which may as well be .400 for him.
Darick Hall – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer. He has power and an under-appreciated wing man in John Oates.
Cristopher Sanchez – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners (0 walks), 2 Ks, ERA at 2.84. Okay, I’m officially intrigued. He has excellent command in the majors, but that hasn’t been the case in the minors (5.3 BB/9 in Triple-A). He has a weak-sis fastball, no real breaking stuff, and a just-okay change. Okay, I’m less intrigued.
Daniel Hudson – Hit the IL with a knee sprain. That’s also the answer to, “Will Evan Phillips be the primary Dodgers’ closer in the 2nd half, assuming they don’t trade for anyone?”
Julio Urias – 6 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.76. This was as easy as matchups get, and one good start doesn’t erase a season of meh.
Freddie Freeman – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (15) and legs (12), hitting .320. It’s kinda wild how he’s become like a middle infidel-type with a .300+ average.
Max Muncy – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 20th homer, hitting .195. Oh my God, did someone finally wake up to change his baby at 4 AM instead of him? Max Groggy for the last two months, this guy!
Andres Gimenez – 2-for-3, 3 runs and a slam (7) and triple legs (12, 13, 14). Check out Andres Gimenez thinking it’s Opening Day in July! Welcome to the season, man!
Tanner Bibee – 5 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners (4 BBs), 4 Ks, ERA at 3.34. Like when Paul and Mary decided to pull the plug after Puff the Magic Dragon, Bibee seems like he’s petering out. Don’t love those walks, and I’m losing faith. Maybe the break-rest can do him some good, and he come back with some goose eggs.
Josh Naylor – 2-for-4 and his 11th homer. He has 61 RBIs, which is ten off the MLB leader, Adolis. Naylor’s done it with half as many homers, so that’s impressive in its own way(lor).
Carlos Carrasco – 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 5.16. Where, and allow me to pause a very long time to really let this sink in, in the ever-loving hell did that come from?
Pete Alonso – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 26th homer. Albombso!
Francisco Lindor – 5-for-5, 3 runs, 18th homer, two triples, and who doesn’t stop at 2nd on one of those to set yourself up for a little cycle action like you’re at Soul Cycle or whatever that place is called is this a run-on sentence or nah? Lindor has been on fire ever since I said he was a sell. Welp, they ain’t all winners. He’s still hitting .233, so he has some work to do to get back to where he should be for “normal.”
Francisco Alvarez – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 16th homer. Mets should have a lineup of all Franciscos. The opposite of sans Franciscos. The Bay Boys bat.
Corbin Carroll – Left the game after hurting his shoulder on a swing. You can see it in the video below. Shoulders never heal properly, do they? I don’t want to put it on him — this awful feeling I have, but it feels like this is a 30-to-60 day type situation. Losing Oneil Cruz was brutal for my Tout team; losing Jazz hasn’t been fun; if I lose Corbin Carroll, you can find me in the corner crying.
I wanna die pic.twitter.com/xaFEbCaZvH
— Razzball (@Razzball) July 7, 2023
Whit Merrifield – 2-for-8 and his 3rd and 4th homers, hitting .284. He had two homers in Guaranteed Rake in one game. Tim Anderson has two homers there in two years.
Jose Berrios – 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.50 vs. Lance Lynn – 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 11 Ks, ERA at 6.03. It’s amazing that the universe didn’t swallow itself as Jose Berrios battled This Year’s Jose Berrios. The best Berrios emerged victorious, which was neither.
Jorge Alfaro – Signed with the Red Sox. He was on the Red Sox earlier this year, so that doesn’t help with the Immaculate Grid at all.
Kutter Crawford – 4 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 4.11. Okay, but it was a terribly difficult start that the Streamonator rightfully hated.
Corey Seager – 3-for-5 and his 11th homer, hitting .360. He’s taken off since his brother retired, which brings me to my not-that-outlandish hypothesis: Corey Seager is operating the legs, and Kyle Seager is operating the arms, like they’re Vincent Adultman.
