2023 Yahoo Fantasy Baseball Rankings Ranklings

February 27, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated, Featured | 91 Comments

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Chose to go over ESPN and Yahoo’s 2023 fantasy baseball rankings and did a quick search, finding 2023 yahoo fantasy baseball rankings with little effort. Pretty simply, tee be aitch. A google search of “2023 Yahoo Fantasy Baseball Rankings” to be exact. With that said, I don’t think ESPN fantasy baseball rankings exist anymore. Does ESPN still do fantasy baseball rankings? I saw ESPN was switching their format to become big baby stuff with, like, nine hitters, five pitchers and only a top 100 overall to play more like, I’m guessing, fantasy football, but, when I searched for ESPN fantasy baseball rankings, I received an error page that read something like, “We do football, and some basketball, but if you’re interested in baseball, you are the wrong demographic, so goodbye.” So, first off, I guess props to Yahoo for still doing fantasy baseball rankings. With that said, I will now remove my Ginzu from my sheath and begin the process of slicing and dicing. I’m using a mandoline on their rankings without a protective cover! I’m using a mandolin without that weird rubber cover on my thumb! Just very manly stuff that a lot of you expect from me. Ya know, I’ve been arrested before (12 years ago). For peeing in public because my wee-wee bladder is so wee. Got off with a ticket, but that time in prison (90 minutes) hardened me, and now it’s time to take it out on Yahoo for their 2023 fantasy baseball rankings.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Luis Robert, 2023 Fantasy Schmohawk

February 24, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated, Featured | 145 Comments

by: Grey

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Someone’s going to launch me into the sun for my fantasy baseball overrated posts this year. From Bobby Witt Jr. to Michael Harris II to Daulton Varsho and Sandy Alcantara, okay, those last two were a little more understandable, but Witt to Harris II to (stutterer!) Luis Robert? Have I joined the old fuddy duddies who hate baseball? Am I a hater of fun? Will I dislike a bat flip? “Answer me!” I scream at the mirror, but my reflection doesn’t answer. It merely stares back, crying. But, when I touch my own face, my cheeks are dry. What is the meaning of this? Have I disconnected from reality? Is this not me typing these letters? “Whose hands are these!” I scream at the ceiling as I drop to my knees. Throwing disrespect at some of the most electric players in baseball isn’t great fun, I’ll tell ya that much after telling you exactly that. Luis Robert is fantastic, I think. I haven’t gotten to see him that much, tee be aitch, because he’s never on the field. So, what can we expect from Luis Robert for 2023 fantasy baseball and what makes him overrated?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sandy Alcantara, 2023 Fantasy Schmohawk

February 23, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated, Featured | 78 Comments

by: Grey

Usually only bestow on you one pitching schmohawk. Like a genie giving one wish, and you’re like, “Yo, genie, it’s pretty standard to give three,” and the genie’s like, “Sorry, inflation.” As they say at opposite world’s Wetzel’s, don’t get it twisted, I could drop on you numerous schmohawk posts about pitchers, but can I just point you to my 2023 fantasy baseball rankings and, specifically, my top 20 starters for 2023 fantasy baseball and say look there for the pitchers I don’t like. Also, I won’t give you a closer schmohawk post either, because they’re mostly just SAGNOF, and I won’t draft a closer in the top 100ish. Not really schmohawk’ing to say Emmanuel Clase is overrated. I mean, he is, but not because he won’t be good. He can be good and still be overrated. On the most basic level: A five-category guy vs. a closer? Is that even close? No, it’s not. In one league, I drafted Oneil Cruz the pick after Ryan Pressly. Oneil Cruz who’s going to go 40/40 vs. Pressly who will give you 32 saves. Mmkay. That brings me to Sandy Alcantara, who can also be good just not good enough to be the fourth best starter off the board or to be drafted before pick 30 overall. Sandy Alcantara is one of those where I told you to draft him last year, and prolly would again this year, if he were going around where he was last year. Going back to my Pulitzer Prize-winning theory that every player has a career ADP, and thinking about how Sandy Alcantara went from pick 85 last year to 29 this year. What is his career ADP? Splitting the difference between 80 and 40 is likely the answer, but it’s definitely not 29 for reasons I will get to on the other side of the “anyway.” Anyway, what can we expect from Sandy Alcantara for 2023 fantasy baseball and what makes him overrated?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Daulton Varsho, 2023 Fantasy Schmohawk

February 22, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated, Featured | 93 Comments

by: Grey

This one feels too easy. Usually I don’t tell you a catcher is overrated because, well, they’re catchers. It kinda goes with the territory. I’m giving myself a pass this year to call Daulton Varsho overrated because he has outfield eligibility. That outfield eligibility is actually what’s going to make it super easy to prove how overrated he is. We’re gonna compare him to other outfielders! Taking me out of the equation at first because you know I bring fire, but others have smoke. On our 12-team Player Rater, Daulton Varsho is currently ranked 120th overall, right next to Steven Kwan, who might be as valuable, but is a tough comp, because they’re not at all similar. Another outfielder near Daulton Varsho is Nick Castellanos, and further down the road is Ramon Laureano, who might be the best comp, so let’s try him on for size. Daulton Varsho is a 27/16/.235 hitter. You can debate the projections, but that’s what he just did. Ramons Laureano went 24/13/.288. Wait, that’s much better…Hold on! Sorry, that’s what Laureano did earlier in his career. Yeah, no way he does that again (there is a way, but let’s continue). Ramon Laureano’s projections are 21/20/.233. So, push on average; four more steals and six less homers. Hmm, well, they must be going close to each other in drafts, right? Hold on! They’re not? Geez, these surprises are a lot for my heart. Daulton Varsho is going around 39th overall and Laureano is going around 208th? Oh, wow. Hmm, that seems like a big difference. “Okay, but Daulton Varsho has catcher eligibility!” You scream at yourself in the mirror, as tears roll down your cheeks. Right, gotcha, there, there, buddy. He sure does. Let’s see that Player Rater again. Oh, boy, Varsho is ranked ahead of Will Smith and Alejandro Kirk! Damn, point made. They are respectively ranked 125th and 128th. Wow, big difference there. Kirk aka Bart Harley Jarvis is worth $11.60 and Varsho is worth $12.3. A full seventy cents of difference. They must be really close in ADP, huh? Kirk is sixty spots after Varsho? Hmm, that doesn’t seem very close. So, I guess besides all of that, why is Daulton Varsho overrated for 2023 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Michael Harris II, 2023 Fantasy Schmohawk

February 21, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated, Featured | 96 Comments

by: Grey

This sucks. I suck for sucking this sucks so bad. I didn’t want to write about how Michael Harris II is overrated. He’s fun. Capital F. Going to the Capital Grill and ordering “Fun,” that’s Michael Harris II! Instead, I’m taking that F and teaming it with me for the ol’ patented “F me,” and that’s not me abbreviating Fame. RIP Irene Cara. Talk about real life events ruining a song. “Ooh, pump up the volume!” Singing along, “Fame! I want to live forever…Crap.” I now change “want to” to “ain’t gonna” when that song comes on the radio. From a rousing anthem for me to do calisthenics into a sob-fest. Any hoo! It wasn’t just I didn’t want to be a spoil-sport with Michael Harris II. It’s not just because I hadn’t seen the first Michael Harris, so I can’t appreciate this one. It’s all those pesky underlying numbers that scream at me every time I look at him. If he were going around Jake McCarthy’s spot in drafts, I likely would’ve wrote a sleeper post for Michael Harris II. Since he’s going as high as 12th overall in some leagues, I’m writing that he’s overrated. It sucks, and I be sucking. So, what can we expect from Michael Harris II and what makes him overrated?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bobby Witt Jr., 2023 Fantasy Schmohawk

February 20, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated, Featured | 79 Comments

by: Grey

This year I’m taking no prisoners with my fantasy baseball overrated posts! No prisoners, baby! I’m a work release program, baby! Wait, that doesn’t sound as intimidating. I’m parole, baby! Meh, that’s not great either. I’m something that takes no prisoners. Sorry, I can’t think of any examples because I was born and bred in […]

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AL-Only, 12 Team Draft Recap: How Does He Do It? (I’m He)

February 17, 2023 | Featured, Our Leagues | 47 Comments

by: Grey

I’m having this weird feeling. It’s not gas; I know what that feels like. It’s not anger that my neighbor planted a tree that smells like semen on my property line. It’s…I think…extreme sadness? I hate this team. I never love my AL-Only teams. Sometimes, I’m okay with them. Sometimes, I’m unhappy with them but pretend to be okay with them, like a sad clown with a painted-on smile. But hate an AL-Only team? No one good is even in the AL, so, yeah, I guess it happens. I drafted so many guys I don’t love, because Rudy’s values kept whispering in my ear, “Take this guy, Grey, he’ll be good for you. Like brushing your teeth and Brussels sprouts.” Brussels sprouts are little cabbages that I don’t like, and the draft was 4 1/2 hours long — no one should brush their teeth that long! Not even Julia Roberts! Drafting guys I hate? What’s going on with me? Something’s comin’ over, mmm mmm. Something’s comin’ over, mmm mmm. Something’s comin’ over me. My baby’s got a secret — he hates his AL-Only team, which I sing while wearing a bridal gown as I roll around on an empty stage. I also cut out each player’s name I drafted and throw them at my face like wedding rice. Is this metaphor still going, you ask yourself. Yes, it is! So, I drafted against Scott White at CBS, a bunch of Razzball guys and a lady (hey, Laura!), and a few ‘perts from other sites. This league is deep so hold onto ye olde hat. (If you want a shallower league, play against me and hundreds of your closest buddies in the Razzball Commenter Leagues. Or closet buddies, if you’re reading fast and/or experimenting.) Anyway, here’s my 12-team AL-Only team and some thoughts:

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Best 2023 Fantasy Baseball Team

February 16, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Draft Strategy, Featured | 66 Comments

by: Grey

The best 2023 fantasy baseball team is a misnomer. Thankfully, none of us know what misnomer means. Sounds to me like someone tentatively wants to date the Travelocity Gnome’s daughter, “Miss Gnome, er, you wanna grab some boba and chill?” Miss Gnome brushes back her hair and bats her eyelashes that are almost as long as her two-and-half foot body, “I’d love to,” but her voice is high-pitched, which is a turnoff, so you cancel plans with her repeatedly until she gets the hint. Sorry, Miss Gnome, gotta ghost ya because I like my women’s voices low like their stature. Any hoo! So the title is hyperbole. What was I gonna say, “The Mostly Kinda Good Fantasy Baseball Team?” You’ll get over your scoffing; I have faith in you. This is the best 2023 fantasy baseball team that I can put together when drafting from my top 100 for 2023 fantasy baseball and top 500 for 2023 fantasy baseball. Honestly, I could draft another 25 teams from those lists, and they’d all be different, but equally terrific…Well, one of the twenty-five would only be sorta terrific, but it would be really hard to tell which one that is. If I took Matt Olson in the 3rd round, everything after would change. If I took Trea Turner in the 1st round, everything after would change. I’ve previously gone over my 2023 fantasy baseball draft prep for the first few rounds and pitchers pairings. For this exercise, I’m taking Yordan Alvarez in the first, because, well, people complained previously I always did this post by taking the first pick, so I’m switching it up, like when you combover your hair right instead of left. My “Best Fantasy Baseball Team” from last year is hilariously awful, and I’ll show you that team later in this post. Oh, it’s so so so so so so bad. I mean, it puts everything in question. Like, was I dropped on my head last preseason?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2023 Fantasy Baseball Draft Prep, Pairings

February 15, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Draft Strategy, Featured | 98 Comments

by: Grey

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Here’s a post that’s gonna make you wanna slap ya mama and tell her Don Magic Juan sends his best. By the by, true story: I was once hired to write award show jokes for Don Magic Juan and he was so stoned I did nothing and he just laughed for two hours. Any hoo! The other day I told you how to draft your pitchers for 2023 fantasy baseball. I laid it out to you nice and simple (if you have a degree in “What The Hell Is Grey Talking About?” Not a PhD, mind you. Just a BS.) Today, we forget all that jabberwocky on the who-ha and get down to business old school-style (which means if you don’t comprehend, I will hit you over the head with a baseball bat signed by Joe Clark.) What I’m hoping to lay out to you is who do you draft 2nd, if you’ve drafted so and so first. For easy reference, the royal we will be using the top 10 for 2023 fantasy baseball, top 20 for 2023 fantasy baseball, and the beginning of the top 100 for 2023 fantasy baseball. I’m going to assume you’re in a 12 team, 5×5, MI, CI, 5 OF, 1 Utility, 1 Catcher league, similar to our Razzball Commenter Leagues. (Sign up for multiple leagues, and beat the heck out of your frenemies or make new frenemies!) Anyway, here’s some pairings for the first two rounds of 2023 fantasy baseball drafts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2023 Fantasy Baseball Draft Prep, Pitchers’ Pairings

February 14, 2023 | fantasy baseball strategy, Featured | 76 Comments

by: Grey

Here’s everyone’s favorite post delivered to you on Valentine’s Day so you can make love to it. I pardon your grotesque actions, and will allow a one-time hump-a-roo fest on your computer while this post is open on it. Go ahead. Hump-a-roo. Okay, done? Good, sicko! What, I never said I would have no judgments. Okay, did you ever think we’d get to the end of the 2023 fantasy baseball rankings? You did? Wow, you had more faith than me. Some time around the top 60 outfielders for 2023 fantasy baseball, I thought we were gonna have to pack it up and start ranking something else, like the top 20 Reasons Why We Weren’t Finishing The 2023 Fantasy Baseball Rankings. 1. Lazy. Then a new tier for 2. Winning the lottery. Never the hoo! Here we are now! So, from the 2023 fantasy baseball rankings, specifically the starter rankings, comes a need for this post: The 2023 fantasy baseball pitchers’ pairing tool. This is where things get interesting! And by ‘interesting’ I mean massively confusing. If what you’re about to read were found scribbled in a notebook, the FBI would be watching me. If The Green River Killer stood up and read this at the next prison Meet N’ Greet, no one would blink an eye. Because, well, his company would prolly be all murderers too. Moving on!

For these pitcher pairings, I’m going to be using our (my) 2023 fantasy baseball rankings. Notably, the top 20 for 2023 fantasy baseball, the top 20 starters for 2023 fantasy baseball, top 40 starters for 2023, top 60 starters for 2023, the top 80 starters for 2023 and top 100 starters. You can also just get Rudy’s downloadable War Room by signing up for the Subscriptions. Okay, formalities out of the way. *rolls up sleeves, makes farting noise with hand under armpit, rolls down sleeve* Let’s get busy! Now, what is a pitcher pairing? It’s your plan for putting together a fantasy pitching staff. A course of action, of course — of acoursion, naturally. If you have A pitcher, which B, C, D, E and F pitcher goes with him? Which is different than ‘F this pitcher,’ that’s what you say by end of April after one of your starters gives up five earned in two-thirds of an inning. You should have six starters. The sixth starter is, well, Bailey Ober comes to mind. Or Hunter Brown. Justin Steele also comes to mind. Edward Cabrera anyone? By the by, I use this opening every year, except change the names, and last year the names I told you to grab with your 6th starter were Cristian Javier, Triston McKenzie, Tony Gonsolin and Bailey Ober. Not a bad track record and here’s Ober going around that track one more time! I’m going to assume you’re in a 12 team, 5×5 and some variation of 9 pitcher leagues like the Razzball Commenter Leagues, which are now in the process of filling up. Put on your pants and look presentable! Anyway, here’s pitcher pairings for pitching staffs for 2023 fantasy baseball drafts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2023 Razzball Commenter Leagues

February 13, 2023 | Featured, Our Leagues | 78 Comments

by: Grey

It’s year 13 of the RCLs! That’s right, if the RCLs are in the bathroom, don’t knock, just give them like five minutes because they’re checking the price guide for their Semien condition, so to speak. RCLs are singing The Freshmen by the Verve Pipe. They grow up so fast, right? Soon, the RCLs are going to be dating, then fall for their high school sweetheart, then get married at 19, then quit school to support their young family. Then, an affair will start with their co-worker, and the RCLs will secretly despise their family when they turn 30 for depriving the RCLs of their lifelong dream of going to umpire school. Man, some serious RCLs’ bitterness incoming! Maybe you should just hit the lottery, RCLs, then you can spend all your money on a McMansion and a tiger tied to a tree. Unfortunately, the tree isn’t sturdy enough and bends all the way over allowing the tiger to break loose and stalk the RCLs into their bathroom where the RCLs wail, “I didn’t know how good I had it when I had no money and just the fun of playing in a free fantasy baseball league against 11 of my closet frenemies.” So, don’t make the same mistake as the RCLs, and live your best life by joining some free fantasy baseball leagues!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Pablo Twincasso

February 10, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 54 Comments

by: Grey

Due to being in the middle of the 2023 fantasy baseball rankings, I got super backlogged on player updates, so this is going to be a huge How’s Your Father. First up, and perhaps the biggest news I missed, Pablo Lopez was shipped to the Twins. Or I should say given away. What’s his downside? Well, he kinda sucked last year. That’s a big one. Here’s the thing: That was last year, not this year. Crazy, right? If you followed my lead, you were out on Pab-Lo last year. And now we’re going back in. Last year, he threw 180 IP, 8.7 K/9, 2.7 BB/9, 3.56 xFIP. Was a bit unlucky on men left on base and his command was a little wonky, but he upped his SwStr% and lowered his inside and outside zone contact. His 2nd half really hurt him (4.97 ERA) but that was based on a very high BABIP and he actually had better command. He had the 15th lowest Hard Contact% for the season, and 16th lowest in the 2nd half. That is disconnected from his 2nd half ERA. In fact (Grey’s got more!), he had the 8th highest difference in his 2nd half ERA and FIP. He was one of the unluckiest pitchers last year, and, if he hadn’t been, he would’ve ended the year with something like a 3.10 ERA instead of a 3.75 ERA and would be ranked at least ten starters higher, and drafted about 30 to 50 spots higher in ADP. He’s ranked and projected in the top 60 starters. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason in 2023 fantasy baseball:

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Author: Grey

Read some of Grey's 4921 posts

2023 Yahoo Fantasy Baseball Rankings Ranklings

Luis Robert, 2023 Fantasy Schmohawk

Sandy Alcantara, 2023 Fantasy Schmohawk

Daulton Varsho, 2023 Fantasy Schmohawk

Michael Harris II, 2023 Fantasy Schmohawk

Bobby Witt Jr., 2023 Fantasy Schmohawk

AL-Only, 12 Team Draft Recap: How Does He Do It? (I’m He)

Best 2023 Fantasy Baseball Team

2023 Fantasy Baseball Draft Prep, Pairings

2023 Fantasy Baseball Draft Prep, Pitchers’ Pairings

2023 Razzball Commenter Leagues

Pablo Twincasso