Corey Seager hit the DL about 15 minutes after weekly lineups locked for the massive Ziplock.  “Yo, I got more Ziplocks than a 5th grade bully stealing lunches,” said the very un-woke fantasy baseballer (<–my mom’s term!).  Never bully, unless you’re like Cougs and you say, “Bully bully,” thinking it’s “Dilly dilly.”  Don’t tell Cougs she’s out of touch!  Then ten minutes later, in a cruel twist of fate, Seager told the world he needs Tommy John surgery that he should’ve had this offseason.  Anyone who reads The Ball of Razz knows I hate Seager for fantasy, so I won’t rub salt in your wounds if you drafted him, but you did it without my consent, so I could retain the legal services of Gloria Allred and send you to jail.  Replacing Seager will be some combo pu-pu platter of Utley, Forsythe, Taylor and Kike.  Corey should be back next year to the City of Angels without missing a beat, unlike Corey’s Angels.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Robbie Ray – Hit the DL with an oblique and could miss four to six weeks.  The way he was pitching, take a month, right yourself, come back in June, dance between the raindrops for three months and drive a curve up the naysayers’ fannies in September.  That is literally what a pitching coach would say.  Braden Shipley should replace Ray, and Shipley has a 6.26 ERA in Triple-A so insert Shruggy the Emoji.

A.J. Pollock – 3-for-5, and his 7th, 8th and 9th homer.  Real question:  who has more fantasy value this year, Goldy or Pollock?  By the way, I think they have the humidor on blown instead of suck.

Nick Ahmed – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, hitting near-.400 in the last week with two homers.  Hot schmotato alert!

Zack Greinke – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.50, as he took on the tired, the weak, the Statue of Liberty doesn’t even want these Dodgers.  Could’ve been worse though, obviously, he could’ve pitched poorly against a battered and bruised shizzshow.

Mookie Betts – Remained out of the starting lineup with hamstring tightness.  “Mooo-kee, what are you doing, Mooo-kee?  I need you to get on the field,” I said in the worst Rosie Perez impersonation.

Eduardo Rodriguez – 4 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.78.  Still trying to get him on your team?  No, that fad faded (almost stutterer!).

Mitch Moreland – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer.  I was thisclose to making Moreland a batty call yesterday, but I’m left full of myself and blue balled.

Xander Bogaerts – 3-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .412.  Within the 4,000 false narratives of the preseason, Bogaerts’ new swing narrative might actually be accurate.

Mike Moustakas – Left the game after taking one off his forearm.  His x-rays came back clean.  Sounds like he has the mom with the Windex from My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

Dan Straily – 4 IP, 4 ER as he was activated for his season debut.  In the preseason, I said, “Straily had a 8.4 K/9, 3 BB/9 and 12.1% swinging strike rate and more than respectable 32.1% swings outside the zone (top 20 rates).  I kinda get the sense there’s gonna be one bright spot on the Marlins this year, and it’s gonna be Straily.  Well, besides, Jeter’s shiny, expanding forehead.”  And that’s me quoting me!  This was obviously just one start, and not a great one.

Jerad Eickhoff – Will throw live batting practice on Tuesday.  Great, he should be in shape by July to throw in the Home Run Derby.

Jorge Alfaro – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .213.  I Ron Popeil’d Alfaro in one league with the “Set him and forget him,” and he’s doing better than my Iannetta Popeil.

Maikel Franco – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .266.  Wonder if Maikel could rub Hoskins’ head, I need a little Rhysus is Rhysen.

Jake Arrieta – 3 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA up to 3.49.  The Regression Fairies have said to themselves, “What would Olivia Pope do,” they have a yoga teacher named Todd, and they will destroy your ratios.

Rougned Odor – At least a week away.  Funny, I can already smell that Odor stinking up my team.

Jurickson Profar – 2-for-5, 1 run, 1 RBI, hitting .243.  In 800 plate appearances, Profar has 13 homers, 6 steals, hitting .229.  The Rangers are batting him third.  *throws computer out window, hears scream*  Sorry!  That was out of frustration!

Robinson Chirinos – 1-for-4 and his 6th homer.  CBS had Evan Gattis ranked in the top 20 overall.

Trevor Bauer – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.45.  And I had Bauer ranked in the top 20 for starters.  Still a skeptic?

Carlos Gonzalez – Was activated from the DL, but not inserted into the lineup.  Woohoo, David Dah–Didn’t start either.  Oh, screw you, Rockies.

DJ LeMahieu – Hit the DL with a hamstring strain.  Isn’t the first DJ to get hurt, and won’t be the last.  In fact, every DJ billboard I see looks like an in memoriam.

Lorenzo Cain – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and a slam (4) and legs (8), hitting .290.  Damn, I didn’t realize Cain…Sugar! was having such a great first month.  Surprised to see him as low as he is on the Fantasy Baseball Player Rater, and can’t believe I dropped Matt Davidson, after seeing how high he is.

Christian Yelich – 2-for-5, 1 run and his 1st steal.  Hopefully, this is a sign his oblique is finally feeling better since he was able to steal a base, though Tucker Barnhart, showed where he was raised, and left the door open for five steals.

Josh Hader – 2 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 8 Ks, and the save.  How’s that Hader-ade tasting now?  Delicious!

Jake Faria – 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.60 vs. Jordan Zimmermann – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 5.81.  A pitchers duel between Easy-to-Roc-A-Fella, J. Z. and Ye-easy away from Bay.  Zimmermann’s garbage, but I’ll be cyclops’ing Faria.

C.J. Cron – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer, hitting .269.  Think about how obvious it was that Cron would break out this year, and then think about how long The Sciosciapath kept him on the bench.  And he’s the longest tenured MLB manager!

Shane Greene – 1/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 5.73.  You get one chance a week for a save, and it’s a three-run lead!  Sorry, Benjamins, Greene’s so not money.  I grabbed Joe Jimenez, but it feels like a move I regret almost immediately.  The whole Tigers’ womb is polluted!

Randal Grichuk – Hit the Disgraceful List with “The Sucks.”  For him, there may not be a cure.  Good on the Jays moving towards a younger, more exciting lineup.  Their minor lea-Guerrs will be up in September, and they’re gonna have us doing the Acuña-Moncada Dance in March of 2019.

Aaron Sanchez – 6 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 4.06.  His peripherals aren’t very appetizing.  He’s being filthy, but more in the mode of a Dirty Sanchez.  A 6 K/9, 4.3 BB/9 and 5.13 xFIP is waiver fodder in most leagues.

Justin Smoak – 1-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer.  C’mon, Smoak, get hot!  Hey, I’m a pyro.

Eduardo Escobar – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer.  Has a 7-game hitting streak with two homers, and that’s your hot schmotato alert!

Miguel Sano – Missed his third straight game with hamstring tightness.  Not saying this is the case, but maybe his hamstring is tight because he has a lot of fat pressing against it?

Fernando Romero – Will make his season debut on Wednesday for the Twins.  Should make for some interesting double takes in the clubhouse, “I love this kid’s stuff, this Fernando Ro–Not you Rodney, turn around,” or, “I can’t believe how awful Fernando Ro–Not you Romero.  You’ve done nothing wrong,” or, “I wanna be called ‘Fern-Ro,’ so it sounds like Bob Uecker’s Miller Lite commercial.”  Prospector Ralph said, “Blessed with two plus pitches in his upper 90’s fastball, and a high 80’s slide piece with some serious tilt. Romero has always struck me as a future reliever. He has difficulty repeating his mechanics consistently which has led to some problems with control. His changeup isn’t fringe, but it’s not effective against lefties which should really be it’s main purpose. I foresee an elite back of the bullpen arm, getting swings and misses and lots of grounders with his heavy sinking fastball. He’s on the 40 man, so it would not surprise me if we saw some Romero this season.  Also, Grey looks like a mustachioed turd.”  C’mon!  PR’s right about the command, and I wouldn’t touch Romero outside of AL-Only leagues for now, though he is the kind of guy that impresses at first, then is lambasted.

Charlie Morton – 7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 1.72.  He made the Yankees look like a bunch of scrubs.  And, no, I don’t want no scrubs.  Get away from me, Zach Braff.

Sonny Gray – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 6.67.  Watched this whole start, and there was nothing impressive about it (outside of Morton).  Gray looked good for about two innings, and, in one of those innings, he loaded the bases with one out.  I’m not dropping him, but I’m also not starting him with any confidence.

Jeff Samardzija – 5 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 5.27.  Why do I get the feeling we’re going to get to August and Samardzija’s gonna say something like, “I’ve been hurt all year.”

Manuel Margot – 1-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI as he hit 7th.  I’m not saying he’s tearing up the league, but the Padres really need to bat Travis Jankowski leadoff?  They gave Renfroe no adjustment time; they’ve abandoned Margot; I’m seriously worried the Padres won’t know what to do with Tatis.  Then again…

Franchy Cordero – 2-for-3, 1 run and his 3rd steal, because Franchy is Franch for fantasy.

Corey Dickerson – 1-for-4, hitting .313, and hit his 2nd homer, and 2nd in the last five games.  Been pretty yawnstipating so far, but he might finally be picking up the power pace, and stopping with those pesky singles.

Sean Rodriguez – 0-for-3 as he hit 3rd.  Look at Sean Rodriguez getting the Jim Leyland Memorial Lineup Spot!  He’s filling in for Marte, so, of course, Sean-Rod should bat third.  Don’t dirty the lineup cards!

Nick KinghamPirates announced he’d stay in the rotation.  All you heard was Steven Brault don’t do it no more.  Kingham the door, waving the 5×5 value more!

Jameson Taillon – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.83.  Solid bounce back in a less-than-ideal matchup in Washington.  He takes the ball next time wherever he goes.

Tanner Roark – 7 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.55, WHIP at 1.03.  Remotely safe starters seem to be in short supply, and Mr. Roark is on a fantasy island to himself.

Anthony Rendon – Will begin playing rehab games.  Don’t play “Guess That Person’s Full Name” it’s supposed to be anonymous.

 
  1. Cairy Hunt says:
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    Is Buehler definitely gone if/when Hill comes back, or is there a chance he could stick long-term with another good start this weekend? I.e. Should I throw in a relatively aggressive FAAB bid for him (he got dropped after getting optioned on Sunday)?

    Also Souza or Trumbo ROS? Thanks, Grey!

    • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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      @Cairy Hunt: I’d go with Souza over Trout. More upside.

      • c says:
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        @Wallpaper Paterson:

        ummm, there’s got to be a sarcasm font somewhere.

      • Slappy Jack says:
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        @Wallpaper Paterson: That’s just gotta be a weird typo right?

        • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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          @Slappy Jack: lol

          I actually “read” it as Trout thinking it was some weird joke thing I missed. Blame it on posting while still half asleep.

    • b the esq. says:
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      @Cairy Hunt: Buehler is down and cant come back for 10 days unless a new injury cuts that deadline.

      Souza over Trumbo. I disagree with Wallpaper Paterson though, not over Trout……

    • FrankGrimes says:
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      @b the esq.:

      They can bring up one extra player for the Mexico trip so
      I’m assuming he gets one more start this weekend then sent back down.

      @Cairy Hunt:

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Cairy Hunt: Souza — Buehler depends on your league size, I think he’s likely up and down in the minors and majors for most of the year, but Hill may continue to get injured, forcing Buehler up

  2. Savoy Special says:
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    14 team H2H auction redraft league. 6×6: Runs, HR, RBI, SB, AVG, OPS and Ks, QS, ERA, WHIP, Saves+Holds, K/9

    1. Drop Josh Bell for any of the following or hold? Matt Olson, Ryan Zimmerman, Ryan Healy, Ian Desmond

    C: Yasmani Grandal
    1B: Josh Bell
    2B: Cesar Hernandez
    3B: Matt Chapman
    SS: Francisco Lindor
    OF: Mike Trout
    OF: Mitch Haniger
    OF: Eddie Rosario
    UTL: Marcus Semien
    Bench: Franchy Cordero
    DL: Jake Lamb
    DL: Wil Myers

    P: Clayton Kershaw
    P: Max Scherzer
    P: Sean Manaea
    P: Hector Neris
    P: Hunter Strickland
    SP: Mike Foltynewicz
    SP: Miles Mikolas
    Bench: Blake Snell
    Bench: Michael Wacha
    Bench: Tyler Mahle

    Thanks as always!

    • c says:
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      @Savoy Special: Zimmerman is till top-5 in exit velocity at the moment and his BABIP is .194 right now (it’s .309 for his career). I’m buying low on him everywhere I can. Dude’s going to go on a serious tear here soon.

      • Savoy Special says:
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        @Grey: thanks, Grey and C. who would you have ranked 2nd?

  3. Bas Hoedemakers says:
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    Sir Grey!

    Ugh, What a few days;-(
    My keepers are going down like soccer players with Seager, Ray and earlier Rendon and Rizzo.
    Hard times for a fantasy baseballer. ;-)

    I’am looking at my waiver wire and see guys like Winkler, Span, Carpenter and Alther available. I can put Rizzo at MI (thank you Yahoo) so any hitter will do. Any suggestions? Besides HR and steals not doing great in offensive cats.

    Thanks Sir Grey

    Best,
    Bas from Holland

  4. Lucky Dog says:
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    Agh! Dammit! Handjob!

    I’ll take “things you hear in fantasy baseball but rarely in a Chinatown massage parlor for $500, Alex!”

  5. Ante Galic says:
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    Grey!!!

    Great write-up, like the Magna Carta only it’s not AD 1215.

    a. Signed up Sonny Gray off waivers just in case he figures it out.

    b. Signed up Kingham for the second time, maybe he’ll strike out a lot of Brewers at Miller Park.

    c. Happy Mayday. Thanks so much for coming out on a public holiday!!!

    d. Mark Twain quote of the day for May 1

    NIAGARA FALLS is a most enjoyable place of resort. The hotels are excellent, and the prices not at all exorbitant. The opportunities for fishing are not surpassed in the country; in fact, they are not even equaled elsewhere. Because, in other localities, certain places in the streams are much better than others; but at Niagara one place is just as good as another, for the reason that the fish do not bite anywhere, and so there is no use in your walking five miles to fish, when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful nearer home. The advantages of this state of things have never heretofore been properly placed before the public.

    From – A DAY AT NIAGARA

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Dave Funnell says:
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      @Ante Galic:

      Go check out the shops and wineries over at Niagara on the Lake. The Main Street is beautiful and the restaurants are world class.

      • Ante Galic says:
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        @Dave Funnell: I agree fully man.

        Cheers,
        Ante

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Ante Galic: A. Hope he does B. Nice! C. You too! D. Awesome!

  6. Bigly Leagues says:
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    My staff is filled with such nonsense
    Robbie Ray
    Sonny Gray
    Castillo
    Aaron Sanchez
    Rich Hill
    Quintana
    Bumgarner (DL)

    Planning to drop Sanchez to stream, what do I do with these other guys, just wait it out? I’m sporting a 4.75 ERA and 1.35 WHIP for the season. Pretty sure I could drop them all and put together a better rotation from waivers.

    • b the esq. says:
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      @Bigly Leagues: Hill and Ray are on the DL now, does that free up some roster space? How big of a league? If there’s legit talent on waivers, drop Casstillo and/or Sanchez and move on. If they figure things out they will probably still be sitting on waivers.

    • Jubaka says:
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      @Blipbloop: Stanton.. but if you had to drop one right now it would be [email protected]Bigly Leagues: I agree you prolly could.. If pivetta, Mikolas, Snell, lucchesi, anyone of these guys would be better then any of those guys.. accept maybe rich hill..

      • Jubaka says:
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        @Jubaka: sorry that Stanton comment wasn’t suppose to be included

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Bigly Leagues: Sanchez is a drop… Wouldn’t wait around on Castillo… But no idea who’s available

      • Kas says:
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        @Grey: Grey, with so much upside, why wouldn’t you wait around on a guy like Castillo?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @Kas: Shouldn’t say I wouldn’t, but it depends on the league… He’s a drop in many mixed leagues

  7. Heisenberg says:
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    My starting pitching just got worse, again. When do you think Kopech will get the call, and is there any chance he does anything like Jose Fernandez did when he got called up? U da man, Grey.

    • b the esq. says:
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      @Heisenberg: Love me some Kopech, but he might not be up until the Super 2…..which I think is sometime in early June, although that date changes depending on how many guys come up, etc.

      Jose Fernandez was something special. Kopech will have legit K potential with good ratios. Wins will be hard to come by.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Heisenberg: Buehler will have more success than Kopech this year

    • AJ says:
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      @Heisenberg:

      Kopech has extremely poor control. He’s going to strike out and walk a million guys and struggle to pitch out of the 5th inning. Think Blake Snell in 2016.

  8. Pb&j says:
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    Hey Master of Greyskull!

    I got an offer of my Lindor for his Strasburg and Ozzie. What do you think?

    Thanks so much!

    • b the esq. says:
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      @Pb&j: Year long or keeper? Albies has been ridiculous so far, but not sure he maintains this level of production, especially the power. Depending on league context and needs, but would lean towards keeping Lindor.

      • Pb&J says:
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        @b the esq.:
        Thanks for the response, b.
        Lindor would not be kept at his price nor would Stras. Ozzie is borderline keeper at his price. It’s a 12 team mixed league H2H league with the following categories:
        Hitting: R,HR,RBI,K,SB,AVG,OPS
        Pitching: K,QS,W,SV,ERA,WHIP,K/9

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Pb&j: Ozzie side

  9. pdo says:
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    Drop Carlos Santana for Cron?

    • b the esq. says:
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      @pdo: Would probably continue to hold. Citizens bank park will be a good place for Santana to hit, especially when it warms up a bit.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @pdo: Agree with b

  10. muskysmell says:
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    WTF has gotten into Charlie Morton seriously…what the hell…

    Is this guy a Top 20 starter now?

  11. Phil says:
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    Would you drop any of these guys for Kingham: Quintana, Pivetta, Mikolas, Anderson, G. Gonzalez?

    Thanks, Grey (or anyone else)!

    • b the esq. says:
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      @Phil: Probably not. Maybe Anderson, but Kingham’s minor league stats are not overwhelmingly awesome. If its a dynasty, maybe more in favor of Kingham also.

    • Jason says:
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      @Phil:
      I’d hold for now. Kingham had one great start but is not profiled to continue with the same success.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Phil: Agree with others

  12. HAL says:
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    @Grey 12-team H2H daily, would you give up Machado+Happ+Inciarte+Andujar+Mikolas to get Bellinger+Shaw+Morton+Samardzija?

    • b the esq. says:
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      @HAL: I don’t think I would. Machado is the best player in the deal. Inciarte has been stealing bases like its his job (which it is). Miklos is on the level of Samardzja, at least, if not better, although may throw less innings, if thats a concern for your roster. Morton is lights out, but I don’t think its enough for me.