Closer Report: Fear Of Commitment

Not only is it bad for marriage, but it is  doomsday for fantasy baseball.  Rostering three relievers from one team, all who accrue saves is just a blight on society.  No one has the ability to carry three separate relievers from one team.  Unless… naw… it’s just stupid to even think about. Two, I can be on board with.  Definitely two.  So you and two guys from one bullpen can have a save-a-trois.  This is the good/bad problem right now with fantasy baseball.  When do we say when for owning relievers from one team.  We almost need a safe word, and even then we wanna over-rosterbate and leave lineup chafe marks.  The current situations in Houston and Milwaukee are both good and bad.  The good are Chris Devenski and Josh Hader.  The semi-good is Jacob Barnes and Brad Peacock.  The bad is bringing in and rostering Matt Albers and Ken Giles.  I say they are bad only because it brings back the too many hens in the savehouse-type scenario.  Plus, Ken Giles has basically been phased with high-end stuff lately and he of the high draft choice are just wasting away like Dick Gregory on the Bohemian diet.  It is an impossible pill to swallow, that he’s a drop just 15 games into the season, but at what point do you look at your losses and start accruing stats that matter from a coveted relief spot?  (Stats that actually matter.)  No, Greg Holland walks don’t count, ya donkey. So when rostering relievers, think two max.  The only other fourth guy that should be looking at the save circle jerk is if you are comfortable enough having a cameraman.  Stay tuned kiddies, more tidbits of closer-dom after the bump… plus the first in-season 12 Buck Salads, Donkeycorns, Employed, and Freezes!

• If Hader is good, then Adam Ottavino is gotta be in the same reliever sandwich.  Minus the saves, he is matching in K’s, unhittability (sorta-kinda not a word) and overall good rosterabilty (definitely not a word). 34 batters faced, 22 K’s is just sick.  To me, it makes Wade Davis an edible salad, even for 12 bucks.
• Bounce back prospect relievers are an awesome thing.  Joe Jimenez of the Tigers is bouncing back to what  we thought he would before sucking in between. K-rate could be higher, but a .143 BAA against a second chair seat behind Greene is a great place to be.  Saves should be coming for the rebuilding Tigers.
• Alex Colome is getting there, maybe…  Still has more appearances with runs allowed than not 5-3 and his K-rate is just abysmal.  Three saves in last five appearances at least helps.  The 7 ERA does nothing though.
• And just in case you just read that and need a comfort blanket in Tampa, Jose Alvarado is the add. Checks all the boxes for a reliever in waiting.  K’s above 10 per 9, BAA under 2 bucks and HR’s at a minimal.
• The only bad thing working against Victor Arano right now are the veterans soon returning from the DL.  Tommy Hunter and eventually Pat Neshek are coming back.  Doesn’t mean that in the interim he can’t pitch himself to usefullness.  Zero hits in 7.1 innings and counting.  No walks either.  Oh, and K’ing 41% of opponents.
• Sleeper Reliever of the Week:  Adam Cimber, 14 innings pitched 18 K’s.

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Craig Kimbrel –  (Joe Kelly,  Matt Barnes)

2. Edwin Diaz – (Juan Nicasio, Nick Vincent)

3. Aroldis Chapman – (David Robertson, Chad Green)

4. Kenley Jansen – (Josh Fields, Pedro Baez)

5. Wade Davis – (Adam Ottavino, Jake McGee)

Donkeycorns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.

6. Roberto Osuna – ( Ryan Tepera, Seung-hwan Oh)

7. Cody Allen – (Andrew Miller, Nick Goody)

8. Felipe Vazquez – (George Kontos, Michael Feliz)

9. Brad Hand –  (Craig Stammen, Phil Maton)

10. Sean Doolittle – (Ryan Madson, Brandon Kintzler)

11. Raisel Iglesias – (Jared Hughes, Amir Garrett)

12. Brandon Morrow – (Carl Edwards Jr.,  Steve Cishek)

13. Blake Treinen – (Liam Hendriks, Yusmeiro Petit)

14. Kelvin Herrera – (Brandon Maurer, Wily Peralta)

15. Jeurys Familia – ( A.J. Ramos, Anthony Swarzak)

16. Alex Colome – (Daniel Hudson, Sergio Romo)

Employed

These guys are the men that make the save market go round. They punch in, punch out. Have the job, no real threat to speak of, and are basically just there to collect great benny’s so they can take care of their crippled brother. Who is only really crippled because he is scared of the sun.

17. Brad Brach – (Mychal Givens, Darren O’Day)

18. Shane Greene – (Alex Wilson, Joe Jimenez)

19. Arodys Vizcaino – (A.J. Minter, Jose Ramirez)

20. Brad Boxberger – (Archie Bradley, Yoshihisa Hirano)

21. Hunter Strickland – (Tony Watson, Cory Gearrin)

22.  Keone Kela – (Kevin Jepsen, Matt Bush, Alex Claudio)

23. Fernando Rodney – (Addison Reed, Trevor Hildenberger)

Brain Freezes

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

24. Chris Devenski / Ken Giles / Brad Peacock

25. Josh Hader / Jacob Barnes / Matt Albers

26. Keynan Middleton / Blake Parker / Cam Bedrosian

27. Bud Norris / Greg Holland / Dominic Leone

28. Hector Neris – (Victor Arano, Adam Morgan, Edubray Ramos)

29. Brad Ziegler – (Drew Steckenrider, Kyle Barraclough)

30. Joakim Soria / Nate Jones