Please see our player page for Sean Doolittle to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Real baseball is weird.  Real sportswriters are even weirder.  From Sportsnet.ca, “Donaldson trade marks abrupt split from Blue Jays after promising start.”  Abrupt?  Maybe I’m just heartless, but why would the Blue Jays be salty about getting rid of Josh Donaldson?  If he would’ve stayed with the club, he could’ve opted into a $18 million contract and been back next year in Toronto insanely overpaid and blocking Vladimir Guerrero Jr.  Then, from Sportsnet.ca, “But trading the star third baseman and cash to the Cleveland Indians, who visit Toronto next week, of all places?  Even the New York Yankees would have been a more palatable destination.”  I’m sorry, what?  Why are the Indians worse than the Yankees?  Because Edwin is there?  Because the Jays’ GM used to be in Cleveland?  Is this just bad writing?  Or is real baseball just odd.  I seriously have no idea.  Elsewhere, other sportswriters were talking about what a great move this was.  No wonder people come here and get floored when I say something about a guy like Josh Donaldson being overrated.  They’re being lied to everywhere else.  This was not a great move by the Indians.  Donaldson can’t stay healthy and has no place to play.  Maybe he can give them a solid at-bat off the bench, but Curtis Granderson might’ve been able to do that too.  Don’t worry, will get to him and all the other September roster news.  As they say at gang initiation, after the jump.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Join the 2018-19 Razzball Fantasy Premier League for a chance at prizes! Don’t know about Fantasy Soccer? That’s okay, Smokey is here to walk with you throughout this journey of exploration and an absurd amount of accent marks on player names. So probably hide all your snacks. It’ll be a long journey…

Maybe they thought they were safe by bringing Kelvin Herrera as a Linus blanket until Doolittle returned.  Maybe they were comfy with the veterans that they had lined up just in case.  Well that “just in case” just happened.  Herrera is now on the DL and Madson assumes the role of all roles. (Until Sean Doolittle comes back from a stressed out foot.)  The Nats had such promise in preseason and even after the acquisition of Kelvin, to be a good bullpen.  Former closers, like most men, are there to do their job and file their income tax returns on time like big boys.  Well, they disappointed me and definitely the owners of Doolittle.  Since July 3rd, or basically the last time Doolittle pitched, they have four saves.  Four, fore, for!  Only ahead of teams like the Padres, Blue Jays and Angels.  By the way, if you are scoring at home the Angels haven’t had a save in 27 games.  That is actually more mind-blowing than a team with decent starting pitching to only get four whole damn saves.  Makes save-chasing on Madson or the like seem glum.  So save your FAAB bucks for another day because Sean should be back within the fortnight, no idea if he mastered his emote dances yet though.  Not that it really matters, but a save earned is a save kept.  I know that works with pennies, wasn’t sure if that helped with counting stats at all.  The season is coming down the stretch, do you have what it takes oh glutens of the SAGNOF?  If you feel weary or just on cruise control because of Fantasy Football, than relax take a gander on some useful bullpen stuff, followed by the rankings…

Please, blog, may I have some more?


Just like Michael ‘Squints’ Palledorous, you too can start preparing for your big move to the top of the standings in 2019.

Here we are at the trade deadline for MLB and starting to get to them for fantasy leagues as well, and teams are making their last attempts to bolster their rosters for the playoff push. Unfortunately for some of us, the season has not gone as planned and we’re selling and preparing for next season in keepers/dynasty formats. In the words of the great philosopher, Lil’ Wayne, “The more time you spend contemplating what you should have done….you lose valuable time planning what you can and will do.”

With that in mind, it’s time to look at what you can do to start planning and helping build your roster for 2019 in those dynasty and keeper leagues. It’s here at the end of the season where you can start building your squad for next year by trading for or picking up some players who may be free agents entering new situations next year or guys that faced an injury or suspension this season, which lowered their value.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Can’t you smell that smell?  Running through the annals of quotable things related to smell, you get the usual “Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?” and “Who farted?”.  Now just make Rougned Odor into a full draw out sentence and he enters the fray of quotable goodness for fantasy.  Not as catchy, but Odor has had his shortcomings through the past two years and basically been put on fantasy leave alone island.  But it is post All Star break and forgiving is in the air.  Starting fresh, no former history and since he is a pox on some people’s fantasy list, we gotta keep it recent…  So over the last month of affairs, he has 5 homers and 7 steals.  In SAGNOF-ville that is giant news for someone who may be a scrap pile pick-up, and if you picked him up before reading this, kudos to you and your foresight.  In the world of SAGNOF we need the results or we move on, and with 7 steals in a month, that is a sustainable amount of fantasy feedback to keep committed to him.  Slashing .300/.378/.488 during that time is fantastic for him, and mostly because of the OBP.  But the overwhelming stat that jumps out to me right now is his walk rate during that time. His career rate before this was 4.5%, the last 30 games he’s at 7.2%.  Drastic baby steps, if that is such a thing.  Like I said, SAGNOF is about dribs and drabs of stealing from the waiver wire and making it your own.  Well Odor is making a second half case to be involved in all the school gatherings, PTA meetings, and heck, even the Brownies.  So if you are in search of some steals and power combo from a middle infidel spot, Odor may just be your dude.  More SAGNOF charts and quips to follow.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

DJ LeMahieu hit the DL with an oblique injury, and is out for months.  It happened when DJ was carrying a crate of records.  “Aunt Audrey is requesting the Electric–Side!  My side!”  As DJ collapsed into a heap of bar mitzvah party favors he’d collected.  Garrett Hampson (0-for-3) was called up to fill in for him, and I tried to add him everywhere.  Prospector Ralph had him in his top 100 fantasy baseball prospects, and said, “Hampson brings a nice mix of plus contact and plus-plus base running ability. With his combination of contact, speed, and plate approach he has a shot to carve out a niche as a top of the order run producer, which is different than Grey who is a ‘runs producer,’ as in he produces crap.”  Hey!  Hampson could have a 6 HR, 15 steal 2nd half, or, knowing the Rockies, Hampson will sit on the bench four out of five games while Pat Valaika plays.  I wish these were laughter tears.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

For those of you looking for the “Aretha Friends and Family” talk channel, I am not going to say you are in the wrong place, but before you go, what the heck does TCB mean in the damn song?  Because there is no way it means “takin care of business”.  But anyways, thanks for coming and you can now leave as this geek-dom is full on extra for the ROS closer rankings. The ROS rankings are important…  Just like every other ROS stuff, because anything said purely as an acronym is full on important.  Just ask the government. So the rest of season closer rankings are more dictated on who is losing their jobs rather than who will continue TCB.  This rankings will not include corns, overpriced salads or freezes, just straight cold hard facts about who I think will be traded, demoted or basically just suck the rest of the year. Short, sweet, and to the point.  So if you were looking for some long didactic look at how closers will be the plight of your fantasy season because of X, Y and Z, you aren’t getting it.  Rankings 1-30ish.  Period, send it to the print shop.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Is this the end for our hero? Jesus Aguilar has made Ryan Braun (1B/OF, back strain) obsolete at first. Christian Yelich, Lorenzo Cain and Eric Thames/Domingo Santana/Keon Broxton have made Braun expendable in the outfield. He’s not helping his own case with a .235 average and a multitude of injuries. Stash or Trash: This is a tough trash because Braun has been one of the best fantasy contributors of the last decade, but I think we’re seeing the final step in his decline. He’s hurt, he’s under-performing and the Brewers have too many players at positions Braun can play. Replacement:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Trevor Bauer continued to keep the drool moist on his owners’ chins — 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.30.  The other day some ‘perts listed their biggest surprises of the 2nd half, and one (maybe more) talked about how surprised they were about Bauer.  Yeah, shocker.  *insanely long pause, staring straight ahead*  Really, really surprised.  *just a dead-eyed stare, slowly picks up Capri Sun, sips real slow on tiny straw, lets out long burp*  Yup, no one saw that coming.  Yesterday, it was too bad, Cody Allen had an epic Kazaam — 2/3 IP, 6 ER, moving his ERA up to 4.66.  I’m just going to sit down for a second.  Aw geez, it hurts to sit.  I’m going to lie on my stomach.  Make the pain go away.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Many of you might not realize this, but I try to stay consistent in advice.  When you write 3,000 words/day, sometimes things get blurred.  I like so-and-so and don’t like that so-and-so, then the first so-and-so gets cold and I no longer like that so-and-so or the 2nd so-and-so gets hot and I like him, so I no longer like so-and-so, but do like that so-and-so.  Or sometimes I’m just so-so on a particular so-and-so, but that so-so is fluid and a so-and-so can become a little more than just so-so or a little less than just so-so.  BTW, those who just Googled for “so-so fantasy advice,” welcome!  You’re at the right place.  So, my so-so feelings on Nathan Eovaldi have moved up, and he is rattling off irrefutable evidence that he should be owned.  Yesterday, Eovaldi took a perfect game into the 7th, ending up with 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.35, and, outside of one start in Yankee Stadium, he hasn’t allowed more than four earned runs in any start.  He’s thrown three starts with one hit or less!  Johnny Lasagna may have been exposed as a noodle arm, but the Italians still have Rachel Ray’s E-O-V-A.  Eovaldi is now at 8.2 K/9, 1.1 BB/9, 3.36 xFIP; those numbers suggest he should be owned in every league, and I’m in agreement.  The origin story film, Velo, may have received mixed reviews, but is a guaranteed crowd pleaser, and I loved Jordan Hicks’ cameo.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The closer cavalcade of debauchery is well in season.  Rewind four months ago and look at your team…  If you drafted Jeurys Familia, Alex Colome and Bobby Osuna, you probably came out of the draft smiling like a freshly picked peach.  Now you look at your team today for the first time in a month, because you most likely let the ship sail on the season because of injury, attrition or trades to your bullpen.  The last two names have been done ad nauseum by me and other bullpen savants around the web…  So now we look at Jeurys Familia.  Or a tale of losing a job do to injury, returning, and basically sucking all the trust out of even owning him.  From the beginning of the season until June 7th when he went on the DL, he posted good numbers by Donkeycorn standards; 14 saves with K/9 rate above 10 and ERA of 2.48 and a BAA of .245.  All within the strain of imagination as a set it and forget it closer.  Now we sit here on June 29th, and in six appearances since, he still sits at the same save total of 14, K/9 of 6.35, ERA of 9.53 and BAA of .357.  Now, I am no math whiz, hell I am barely even knowledgeable about what actually is cheese whiz, but those numbers are awful and garbage.  Add in the fact that the Mets as a team are in the toilet, have fired their GM, and have a worse record than the punting from day one Marlins….  Trade-value wise, he has zero in fantasy and almost in real life, because teams aren’t going to trade for a guy who can’t get outs. As an impending free agent, he should and will be traded, maybe to a team that has an opening in middle relief, but I don’t see him gaining closer status for the near future with the Mets or another team.  So if you are a Familia owner and holding out hope for some sort of revert to the former here, I am unfortunately going to tell you that he gets less than 5 saves the rest of the year it looks like. More closer news and views, read on or don’t.  I will continue to sit by the pool regardless!

Please, blog, may I have some more?