Please see our player page for Sean Doolittle to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Fernando Tatis Jr. fractured his wrist and I want to die. Just curl into a ball and bawl. MLB lockout was the butterfly’s wings and Tatis’s wrist is the earthquake in Indonesia. Hope you’re happy Rob Manfred! Fernando Tatis Jr. likely hurt himself on his motorcycle, and it was months ago. Sure, he should’ve been checked out by a doctor for the last three months for the wrist injury, but he just dusted himself off and said, “Oopsie.” If Tatis wasn’t so damn resilient, maybe he would’ve went to the doctor. Stupid, resilient, regenerative Fun The Jewels! If it wasn’t for the lockout, the Padres would’ve insisted Tatis went to see their team doctors, and his wrist would’ve been diagnosed sooner. See, this really is Rob Manfred’s fault! *goes to the beach, digs giant hole, lies down into sand grave, slowly pulls sand down on top of head* I don’t want to go on. Please, let me be. *sobs loudly*

So, Rudy updated Fernando Tatis Jr. with a 75-game dock, and he’s now at 155 overall on his 12-team auction values. I’m down to 103 overall. From the number one spot to 103 overall; I really feel like I’m going to vomit. *drives to Ralph’s supermarket then ralphs* I like to be meta, when possible. What’s kinda funny, in a painful way that isn’t funny at all, I did my adjustments to Tatis without knowing what Rudy was doing, and I have him ranked right next to Kyle Schwarber, as Rudy does, in my top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Of course, I have Schwarber and Tatis higher than Rudy, barely. Also, Rudy has Tatis at 289 ABs (58/23/56/.282/13) and I have him down for 51/17/45/.287/15 in 303 ABs, and we both did our new projections without bouncing them off each other, so we’re both pretty close, which is reassuring in a very sad way. I’m a bit worried about the wrist coming all the way back immediately, but like the idea of his upside when he returns, so I ranked him a bit higher than his stats might warrant. I updated my top 10 for 2022 fantasy baseball; my top 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball and the top 20 shortstops for 2022 fantasy baseball. This all somehow sucks and simultaneously blows. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?


Little Nico Hoerner said he could play middle or corner or any of the field’s orifices,
After a meeting in David Ross’s office.
He stuck out his thumb,
Indicating hitchhiking or he could play with aplomb,
And said, “Eric Sogard sucks, so here I am.'”

Not sure that’s how the poem goes, and fields don’t have orifices and, ya know what, ‘Can Stanza’ I can’t stands ya, and I don’t care. Give Nico Hoerner his playing time, we’re ready to run this shizz. *does a dance that can only be described as a mule that stepped on a nail* Hoerner has solid contact — 17% K% — and can get on base — 10% BB%. Can he hit .300 and makes the most sense as the Cubs’ leadoff hitter? Does the Pope root for the Mets to lose in heartbreaking ways? Yes, and emphatically yes. Will Hoerner hit for big-time speed and power? Does the girl in your office mean anything more when she asks you how you’re doing? No, no and no. Hoerner is a leadoff guy, though. Much more so than Anthony Rizzo, Willson Contreras or whatever David Ross’s office’s orifices are rolling out there most days. Hoerner could be a top season-long pickup if he sticks, and now I’m getting Hoernerier. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Every year, Vladimir Guerrero Jr. showed up at camp saying he was in the best shape of his life. He was like a Russian nesting doll of “Best Shapes.” Or a caterpillar. Shed one Best Shape, and reveal another Best Shape. Then another Best Shape gone, and another Best Shape emerged. “I think someone left their earth skin in the washing machine.” That’s the Blue Jays’ clubhouse attendant finding one of Vlad’s Best Shapes. Then, this year, Vlad, the Mini Impala, showed up at camp with his Best Best BEST Best Shape. A Best Shape to best every other Best Shape. And it’s the best. Last night, he went 3-for-4, 7 RBIs, as he hit three homers (5, 6, 7). He’s gonna hit 40 homers and .350, isn’t he? People are going to be talking about Vlad Jr. in a few years the way they talk about Mike Trout. He’s hitting for power without sacrificing average, and it’s gorgeous. Good for you, Vlad. I’m glad he finally is in the Best Best BEST Best Shape of his life. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

And the men who hold high places

Must be the ones who start

To mold a new reality

Closer to the heart


What? You didn’t know that Toronto-based prog rock band Rush were huge roto baseball fans? That song was released in 1977 — the same year the Toronto Blue Jays played their inaugural season. It’s actually about their love for under-appreciated closer Pete Vuckovich who saved 8 games for the blue birds that year. A lot of us have that same love for certain closers and when it comes to draft time we think with our hearts rather than our heads. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Howdy, folks!

Thanks for tuning in for my next weekly project: tracking all them ding dang injuries. I’m transitioning from transactions to trauma. From moves to maladies. From signings to sickness. From business to band-aids. From…that’s all I got.

Don’t we all love injuries? What would fantasy sports be without all those cute lil’ red “DTD”s and “IL”s and “O”s and “Q”s sprinkled all over our lineup pages?

I jest, of course. F*** injuries. Nothing sours your fantasy GM mojo like freakin’ injuries. Last year was banonkers (bananas + bonkers = banonkers) with COVID, and we’re already getting some of that fun as Spring Training kicks off. I keep seeing stuff about this wild California strain, and if there’s any proof in that pudding, then we could very well be in for a lot more COVID fun in 2021. I mean, we will be anyway, but this could compound it further. Joy.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Been a while since I gave you a roundup of news, so guess what? Here’s a roundup of news, or in the case of Josh Jung, a guy who I added to the rankings. First off, what Prospect Itch said previously, “The best Texas prospect since Gallo, Josh Jung brings full-field power, plate discipline, and a plus hit tool along with functional defense at the hot corner. I’m trying to acquire him in my 20-team OBP league and suggest anyone seeking potentially affordable third base help consider the same in their leagues. Speaking of affordable, anyone know a reasonably priced hitman to take out Grey?” Okay, that’s not cool. Hold on one second, are you telling me the Rangers have a decent prospect? I call BS. I thought the Rangers gave up after finally figuring out how to spell Saltalamacchia. Oh, I know, this is the Rangers just trying to sneak Michael Young back out at 3rd base, and spelling his name differently. Jung, you’re nothing but a Freud! Podcaster Ralph told me the other day, he thinks Jung is a 25-homer, 3-steal, .280 hitter. Not sure how much time Jung sees this year, but the draft season is still Jung! Sorry, hashtag never again. I added Josh Jung into my top 20 3rd basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball with the projections: 21/6/25/.272/1 in 170 ABs, but obviously those could go up if he breaks camp. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2021 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Howdy, folks.

It’s unlikely you haven’t already heard, but ICYMI: esteemed national baseball writer Boob Nightenfail tweeted Thursday evening that the Mets had a done deal with Trevor Bauer. Then not even like five minutes later, all the cool kids tweeted how this, in fact, was untrue. Fast forward less than 24 hours later and Bauer signed a deal with Dodgers, along with some dumb hype video I haven’t yet and never will bother to watch. I’m just glad all of this is over, because I am so over Trevor Bauer. I hope he goes back to being the mediocre pitcher he’s always been. He’s jack diddly without pine tar, and that’s a fact!

Oh, Boob. Thanks for the laugh! As for the rest, here’s the best:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Robert De Niro, dressed in a Phillies jersey with Phanatic-fur pants, points down a dark alleyway, “Hey, Kingery, I have some beautiful furs for you. Go ahead, what are you scared of?” Little did Kingery know that just down that alleyway was a group of Phillies fans readying batteries to throw. So, Phils called up Alec Bohm, and, while I did have a laugh at Kingery’s suckitude, I have to think this is more likely the end of Jay Bruce’s playing time at DH, but maybe Kingery loses some ABs too. During the shutdown, I wrote an Alec Bohm fantasy, but since I am more of a gent than Jimmy Conway, I will quote some relevant parts, “Last year in Double-A, Alec Bohm hit for power, he has 60-grade power, but even more glamorous is he had a 10.4% walk rate and 14.1% strikeout rate. He only hit .269, but that was with a .265 BABIP. He also had a 18.1% line drive rate, 41.2% ground ball rate and 40.7% fly ball rate. One other player with a 10.4% K-rate, 18% line drive rate, 40.5% GB rate and 41.5% fly ball rate goes by the name of Pete Alonso! Swoon! *draws hearts on Trapper Keeper, stares out at the moonlight as I lower my Rapunzel-like quarantine hair* By the way, Rapunzel was the world’s first quarantine’er. Prove me wrong. So…Is Bohm Alonso? Alonso is Bohm? Finkle/Einhorn? Einhorn/Finkle? No, no, yes, yes. Alonso strikes out way more than Bohm! Holy swooning, Batman! Bohm’s gonna be 24 years old in August. Double-A is not where he should be. Double-A negatives be damned, he has never not waited for his pitch at any level. The eye is there. He is taking so long to get challenged by MLB pitchers, that I worry he could struggle at the MLB level. Our Prospectonator, which gives 162-game stats for every rookie so you can get an idea of what they’re capable of, has some rose-colored glasses for Bohm, giving him 23 HRs, 5 SBs and a .265 average. That’s surprising to me, because I don’t think we have any idea what to expect from Bohm yet, let alone that highly. I’m concerned Bohm ever connects, but if he does, it better be this year, so he’s as good a dart throw as any.” And that’s me quoting me! There’s more in that article from Prospect Hobbs and Itch, but you get the picture like Bohm waits for the pitcher, and has power. I grabbed him in all leagues where he was available. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, the Mets debuted their 2017 1st round pick, David Peterson, and he went 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks. Here’s bit of tid on him:  Tall dude, stands about 6’6″. *standing on my chair, arm up in the air* About yay high. Fastball velocity sits *gets off chair, points at my framed picture of Angela Lansbury* low 90’s. Slider and curveball are *looks around to illustrate, points at colored-in Denny’s placement of a cowboy, realizes that won’t be enough, takes crayon and draws a cape on the cowboy* That’s a super okie. As in okie doke. C’mon, that was an easy one. So, lots of okie-doke usually equals okie-dookie, but he has solid command, so he might be a four to five real-world starter, which makes him good for Streamonator in shallower fantasy leagues. In a short season, there could be some value here. He should at least limit damage, as he did last night in Fenway. Also, Prospect Itch wrote about 500 words on David Peterson in his 2020 Mets fantasy baseball prospects writeup, and only one overt threat directed at me. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?