I hear the only way this Coronavirus goes down any smoother is with the Lyme Disease. Thank you, I will be here all day. Don’t forget to tip your waitresses. *waitress coughs on me, I tumble slowly out an open window* WHAT…THE…WHAT…THE…WHAT…? Sadly, I’ve landed on my feet…and standing in a sea of mouth breathers! AHHHHHHH!!! Well, this sucks (unlike mouth breathers — yo, do you ever breathe, like, in?) and there’s no easy way to say it, but baseball is about to go MIA for a few. Guy in Miami, “Don’t send anyone here!” Not to MIA International Airport, they’re going missing in action. The healthcare professionals say–I’m totally kidding. I’m quoting healthcare professionals? WHO am I. No, I’m not the WHO. WHO is the World Health Organization. But WHO’s on third base? Ugh! This is garbage-awful news, but we must soldier on. Holy crap, Tom Hanks has it! AHHHHHH!!! No! No! No! No freaking out! We must pull up our big-boy pants, wash our hands while singing Happy Birthday twice, and get through this national crisis. I’m Grey and I approve this message. In my highly unprofessional opinion, baseball will return in some capacity by May 1st. In the meantime, I’ll still have posts every weekday, because, honestly, what else are we doing? I write every day during the offseason, nothing’s changed for me. Thinking about doing a series of posts about guys most likely to cough without covering their mouths. Is Matt Albers still in the league? He 100% never covered his mouth. I’ve updated the top 500 for 2020 fantasy baseball with a few small adjustments, which I’ll get to in the post. And, to the Coronavirus, I say, “T. Hanks, but no thanks!” Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2020 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Brad Boxberger to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Absolutely brutal news about Tyler Skaggs. Makes you remember how silly this fantasy baseball thing is in the grand scheme of things. Counterpoint: everything is serious — politics, work, sickness, and, yes, death — so maybe the silliness of fantasy baseball is the point. Perhaps Skaggs’s passing can bring some perspective. Remember, it’s not the end of the world if you drafted Giancarlo and you trail in all power categories. It’s enjoying the ride, because it’s often much quicker than anyone expects. Now, I’m just going to leave some white space as a moment of silence.
Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jordan Lyles was exceptional Friday night capturing his second win of the year going six strong innings allowing just four hits, a walk and striking out six. He now leads the league with a 0.53 ERA. Mazel tov, Jordan, and happy Pesach! Well, someone clearly did not observe the High Sabbath last night. He had better things to do, busy mowing down the San Francisco hitters. So is the Bucs pitching coach Ray Searage is a miracle worker or a Three Eyed Raven or some kind of warg magic man?? The Pirates pitching staff now boasts a league best 2.54 ERA. But back to Jordan. Lyles has now struck out 16 over his past two starts and holds some real pretty ratios like that league leading 0.53 ERA and a 0.88 WHIP with an 19/5 K/BB. Yes, more please. Put that on your seder plate. After the all star break last year, Lyles started relying more on a combination of his curve ball and 4-seam fastball and benefited from this greatly posting a 3.00 ERA with hitters batting just .213 against him. His curve ball, in particular, can be pretty nasty when its on and when he’s mixing in the 4-seamer effectively Jordan has looked like a dominant pitcher. Seems like he’s brought this strategy with him to Pittsburgh and things with Searage have clicked. He had his outing shortened Friday after taking a line drive off the hand but the injury does not appear to be serious and he is expected to make his next start Wednesday versus Arizona. Lyles is available in over 75% of fantasy leagues and worth your streaming consideration at the very least. He’s starting to look like a steal for Pittsburgh, and he seems like a real mensch you may not want to Pass over!
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Christian Yelich hit his 6th homer and his…wait for it….here it comes…where’d it go…did I leave it in the car…no, it’s right here under my ass…and his 7th homer and his…crap, this one is in the car, isn’t it…nope, under the other cheek…and his 8th homer! Add in 7 RBIs and he’s hitting a zillion. Can we just crown him with back-to-back MVPs and sneak him into Ariana Grande’s room already? After he wins his 2nd straight MVP, there will still (!!!) be someone next March who is saying something like, “Grey, you are wildly handsome, but I just don’t trust Yelich. Can you talk me into him?” Which they will say right after I’ve written 1,200 words on Yelich. Doode is a beast who powers the Milwakuee’s Best. Don’t funk up my jam! Which is what Mr. Smuckers says to his wife when she messes up his DVR recordings of The Voice. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
There was once a planet called *hris Davis that was all powerful, but had issues with contact so nobody knew about it. Power split the planet in two.
Khris Davis, “You, the light side of the planet, me the dark side, but I vacuumed up all your power to combine into my own and now I have all the power.”
Chris Davis, “How could you!”
Khris, “Well, you stumbled into my lair, after going 0-for-52 trying to open the door. Should you get your eyes checked? I ask as a concerned villain.”
Chris, “You stole my power, Khris with a K!”
Khris, “Tut-tut-tut, Chris with a C. It’s K-HR-ris! Muahahahaha…” Sips from a Capri Sun, then continues, “…hahahahahahaha…” Coughs a bit, ending his evil laugh, then adds a final sting, “Now you are as useful as that Qhris Davis meteroid playing for the Marlins’ Double-A team.” Yesterday, Khris Davis (2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer, hitting .266) continued his barrage on baseballs, while Chris Davis (0-for-3, 1 run, hitting .000) continued his barrage on hitting. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
How about that Gleyber Torres schmohawk post now? Grey’s a genius! Who happens to need an online dictionary to spell ‘genius.’ Why is that bad? Are you some kinda of elitist who memorizes werd spelings? Look at me, I’m a werd nord! Dur! I hate you! And Gleyber Torres. Why is everything going opposite world on me so far? I do fantasy baseball to relieve stress so why did I throw my computer out the window and am typing from a nearby bush? Yo, I’m so bush league! Get it? No? Me either, tee bee aitch. So, Gleyber Torres (4-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 1st two homers of the year) did the mollywhop dance on the O’s’ (not confusing apostrophes) pitching. Of course, Gleyber did! I’d stream any hitter against the Orioles, except maybe Chris Davis in a split squad game. Yo, Chris Davis, you wearing Opti-Grab glasses? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
If a tree falls in a forest, but no one drafts the tree does it make a sound? That’s what it felt like this weekend at Razzball. I’m sure a ton of people were angry that Daniel Murphy fractured his finger, but I heard nary a peep from the Razzball faithful. I’m guessing because of where I ranked him. According to FantasyPros, the top person ranked him 26th overall. The worst ranking of him, and, oh, it’s just silly. Some total numbskull ranked him 150th overall. Wait a second, I’m that numbskull, and the awful ranking was actually him 26th overall. I should’ve wrote an overrated schmohawk post for him, but I didn’t because I didn’t want to write this in February, “He’s old, and will get hurt. End of post. So, did everyone already take down their Groundhog’s Day decorations?” I honestly couldn’t figure out why people were drafting him. His projections were 22 HRs, .310. I mean, okay, but kinda big whoop, no? Meh, I guess it’s irrelevant now since I know none of you drafted him. Right? Riiiiiiight? The good news is Garrett Hampson and Ryan McMahon should see more at-bats, and, just as I say that, the Rockies played Mark Reynolds at 1st base on Sunday. Oh, Rockies, you dumb, dumb team, which is different than the creative team behind Dum-Dum lollipops. They’re terrific. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The best 2019 fantasy baseball team is a misnomer. Thankfully, none of us know what misnomer means. Sounds to me like someone tentatively wants to date the Travelocity Gnome’s daughter, “Miss Gnome, er, you wanna grab some boba and chill?” Miss Gnome brushes back her hair and bats her eyelashes that are almost as long as her two-and-half foot body, “I’d love to,” but her voice is high-pitched, which is a turn-off, so you cancel plans with her repeatedly until she gets the hint. Sorry, Miss Gnome, I like my women’s voices low like their stature. Any hoo! So the title is a bit of a superlative. What was I gonna say, “The Mostly Kinda Good Fantasy Baseball Team?” You’ll get over your scoffing; I have faith in you. This is the best 2019 fantasy baseball team that I can put together when drafting from my top 100 for 2019 fantasy baseball and top 500 for 2019 fantasy baseball. Honestly, I could draft another 25 teams from those lists, and they’d all be different, but equally terrific… Well, one of the twenty-five would only be sorta terrific, but it would be really hard to tell which one that is. If I took Adalberto Mondesi in the 2nd round, everything after would change. If I took Javier Baez in the 1st round, everything after would change. I’ve previously gone over my 2019 fantasy baseball draft prep for the first few rounds and pitchers pairings. For this exercise, I’m taking Trea Turner first, because, well, people complain I always did this post by taking Mike Trout first, so I’m switching it up, like when you combover right instead of left. Until pick 100, I’m taking one guy somewhere in every fifteen picks. It would be nice if I was in a league where someone drafted Scherzer and deGrom in the first two rounds and I was able to take Bryce Harper in the 2nd round (which is very likely), but since Treat Urner and him are in my first 14 picks, according to the rules I’ve set up for myself, I can’t take them both. Then, as we all know, once you get into the 100s, there’s wide gaps between ADP and where players are actually taken. People tend to look at team need over value. So for this exercise, once I get to pick #101, I’m going to pick two players every twenty picks. Finally, because there is so much latitude in the last 300, I gave myself free reign to fill up my team. Throughout the draft, I also gave myself the ability to reach to a lower draft pick, but not reach forward. Or reach around, if you’re feeling frisky. It should still be my ideal team… Or not. Let’s see, shall we? Bee tee dubya, this team is a 12-team, 5×5, one catcher, 5 OFs, MI, CI, 1 UT, 9 P, 3 bench, just like the Razzball Commenter Leagues (go sign up). Anyway, here’s the best 2019 fantasy baseball team:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The story of German Marquez isn’t one they tell you in your parochial schools. It’s an ugly story punctuated with cowardice and the worst atrocities in history. You’d think if a family emigrated from 1940’s Germany they would’ve had the common decency to not name their child German. Also, his father claiming to be an appliance repairman who specializes in ovens is disgusting. The last straw was when his family tried to claim sauerkraut was good in tacos. Shame on you! What’s less shameful is how he’s pitched in the 2nd half. He now has a 2.64 ERA in the 2nd half in 68 1/3 IP, and his peripherals on the year are gorgeous — 10.2 K/9, 2.8 BB/9, 3.21 xFIP. He’s doing it with newfound success in his slider, which he throws 15% of the time. That slider is top 15 in the majors, and is supported with a 95 MPH fastball. In other words, this breakout appears real. Last night, he went 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.94, and I see no reason to not start him in any matchup, even in Coors. Or Löwenbräu as he calls it. Disgraceful! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
“Hey, Stream-o-Nator, I have a surprise for you.” The Stream-o-Nator backs up slightly, unsure of what I’m going to do to its tender robot heart. The Stream-o-Nator was born in a scrapyard run by Steven Avery’s family. Not the Making a Murderer guy, the ex-Braves pitcher. The story of how it got separated from its family is similar to Sophie’s Choice, but sadder and involves more heavy metal. Suffice it to say, the Stream-o-Nator is longing for any connection, electrical or otherwise. This brings us to yesterday’s matchup and why I sought the Stream-o-Nator. Gently approaching the 8-foot robot, “It’s a good surprise. I wanna be your friend.” The Stream-o-Nator swoons, playing Just The Two Of Us on its chest-implanted boombox. Perhaps my friendship is simply what have you done for me lately, but Andrew Heaney was enough for me to be bothered with late-night phone calls when the robot is feeling blue Raspberry Pi. Heaney went 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 12 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.98. (Reynaldo Lopez wasn’t bad either — 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.22). For this year, due to how few starts are left, I’m looking at the Stream-o-Nator for every start, and it loves Heaney for his next start. “I’m here for you robot pal. C’mon, high-five me!” Stream-o-Nator’s arm falls off and it sighs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?