Please see our player page for Keynan Middleton to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Starling Marte hit the DL with an oblique injury, which apparently opened up space for Austin Meadows to be called up.  Okay, I wanna be happy.  I do.  C**nt Hurdle seemed to do the right thing, Spike Lee.  However, I wanna mitch and boan about one thing.  The Pirates had to trade for Corey Dickerson to clog the outfield?  Dickerson screams DH.  Literally, he wakes at night screaming, “DH!”  He has David Ortourettiz’s.  Marte has already said he doesn’t think he’ll be out more than a week or two, so where’s Meadows going?  Back to the minors?  The Pirates have been doing The Running Man in place for years now, maybe you call up your 1st round pick who has 1,626 minor league at-bats!  Here’s what Prospector Ralph said in his top 100 fantasy baseball prospects, “The skills put him in the top three entering last season, but a injury riddled season, including his third consecutive year with a hamstring injury have me doubting the upside I once dreamed on. Meadows at his best combines plus hitting, running, and plate discipline with untapped raw power.  There’s still superstar upside here.  Speaking of which, I’d love to hit Grey upside his head.”  What the hey!  He looks like a 10/20/.280 guy to me, assuming he stays up, but assuming makes an ass out of the U. of Ming.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Lot to unpack here with Robinson Cano (2B, Fractured Hand; Dumb)… First Cano took a fastball off the back of his hand and suffered a broken bone in his hand, then an even bigger disappointment hammer fell. Cano was suspended 80 games for taking performance enhancing drug. That brings him to an early August return. Yikes. Stash or Trash: Stash. He’s too good for you to drop. He’ll still have two months of baseball once he returns. Fill In: Yolmer Sanchez (22.2%.) Can’t believe I’m still recommending this guy! He’s got a nice 2B/3B eligibility, a .296 average and is hitting 2nd for the White Sox. Great fill in option now, and bench bat for later.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Fantasy Master Lothario is back, and he’s live and direct from Palm Springs!!! While Cougs runs back to LA, the GOD Pert talks Freddy Peralta’s debut, how I’ve sold Lance on Franmil Reyes, and the unexpected emergence of Charlie Morton over the last two seasons. We then talk a little C-Mart, a little Robinson Cano, and off course Vladimir Guerrero Jr. comes up. It’s almost like he’s Ralph Lifshitz Jr. just considerably better at baseball. All in all it’s an hour of fantasy baseball fire, prepping you for the week ahead, and reflecting on the week that was. It’s a little bit of everything, the biscuits, and the beans! Finally, please make sure to support our sponsor by heading over to RotoWear.com and entering promo code “SAGNOF” for 20% off the highest quality t-shirts in the fantasy sports game. It’s the latest edition of the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Podcast:

 

BTW: Get your Prospect Jesus and Grey Albright Tout Wars Champ shirts here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday’s Cubs/Braves matinee was Jose Quintana (4 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.23) vs. Julio Teheran (6 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 1 K, ERA at 3.49).  This start was billed as, “Was The Wind Blowing Out Or Do These Guys Suck?”  A very quizzical billing.  I don’t own Quintana, but I hear your calls to place a flag on a sound stage in Hollywood and say it’s the moon and continue to own Quintana or if it’s cheese.  Guys (and five girls), things aren’t good — Ks are way down; walks are way up; velocity is down; this is the worst he’s looked in the majors.  Now, the good news, it’s relatively good, at least.  He had a 5.60 ERA last through the end of May last year, and a 3.41 ERA in the last 124 IP last year.  He also upped his Ks last June thru September and, until we see different, I think he could take the same route to success this year.  Or not (nice hedge, dopey!), but I’d hold to see.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The theory of SAGNOF is capitalizing on the chances in front of your face.  The “polish sausage” king of steals has returned from the minors and re-established his presence in the stead of others.  Travis Jankowski started the year out of favor, not just based on ability, just on talent.  With Manuel Margot struggling and injured and Hunter Renfroe basically doing the same exact thing (but getting Pipped by Franchy), Travis has jumped from AAA and shown his best SAGNOF face.  Hitting .368, with 2 steals and OBP of .455 over 12 games since his return.  We all know of his one sided ability in the SAGNOF game because that is what makes him the prince of this and basically the west coast Rajai.  His availability in leagues is less than 5% owned across most formats and should steadily climb until the outfield situation is a muck.  An OF of Margot, Franchy, and Travis is of the extremely light-hitting variety.  It is using Travis now before the likes of Wil Myers, whose return is the question.  With Myers eventual return a few weeks off to possibly 10 days, using Jankowski now for the steals affect isn’t a bad idea as his stats say that he can hit, get on base and effectively get on base. The 30-steal year just two years ago shows that he has a penchant for the swipe, just has to avoid attrition, replacement and the inevitable return of better talent.  He has the gig for the next week to 10 days so now is the time to see if you can steal, pun intended, a few bases to pad your stats and move along.  That is what SAGNOF is, hit and move.  Don’t fall in love.  get what you want out of it and than throw it to the waiver wire dogs.  It is a sad world we live in and there is no cuddling in the quest for steals world.  I don’t care how great the big spoon feels.  More saves and steals ain’t got no face goodies after the bump.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hope everyone had a nice Mother’s Day!  Or, as it’s known in my house, Bill Hall Day.  *it’s 2074, Grey Albright’s frozen head is on a shelf next to Ted Williams’ frozen head*  “Hey, Ted Williams, Happy Bill Hall Day.”  “You’ve been calling it that for 65 years.”  “It’ll catch on by next year.  By the way, you have a booger-icicle hanging from your nose.”  For Mother’s Day for Cougs, I took a picture of our dog Ted’s penis, then Photoshopped it into Bill Hall’s hands, so it looked like a pink bat.  Of course, I inscribed it, “You’re always a home run to me.”  I’m so romantic!  Any hoo!  Sean Newcomb silenced the Marlins pink bats and pink jerseys and pink hats — were they also advertising Anna Faris’ new movie, because they went Overboard! — 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners (1 hit), 6 Ks, ERA at 2.51.  Of course, this matchup wasn’t the hardest, but his peripherals (10.4 K/9, 4.2 BB/9, 3.65 xFIP) look close to that of a number two to three fantasy starter.  Not bad since he was drafted as number five.  He’s one bad mother!  Or May the Bill Hall Be With You.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We all know what to hoist by one’s own petard means, right?  It’s like when Wile E. Coyote tries to drop a cannonball on the Road Runner, but the cannonball’s heft breaks off the cliff and plunges Wile E. to his untimely demise.  (Clearly, the best Shakespearean example.)  That’s how I feel about rookie pitchers.  You grab them because of the upside, then hoist them up and they roofie you and, next thing you know, your kidney is replacing El Chapo’s.  On the Prospect-o-Nator, Alex Reyes is the 2nd best rookie pitcher this year, behind Walker Buehler.  Clearly, Alex Reyes needs to be owned, but he’s A) Rookie.  B)  Returning from Tommy John surgery.  C) There’s no C.  If things break right, he could be an ace for the last four months of the season.  If things break wrong, your fantasy team could plunge to its untimely demise.  Remember, never go full petard.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

James Paxton went from a 16-K game last week to a no hitter.  *genuflects*  We’re not James Worthy.  We’re not James Worthy.  That’s how one genuflects in Los Angeles, by the way.  You seeing someone doing it any other way, report them immediately to the nearest out-of-work actor.  You can find one of those anywhere.  *checks kitchen cupboard*  “Hey, weren’t you a guest star on Boy Meets World?”  So, Canadian boy does good in Canada, with James Paxton throwing the no-no.  Unlike a Canadian pitcher earlier in the day who did a “No! No!” and did bad.  Paxton’s line — 9 IP, 0 ER, zero hits, 3 walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.40.  It was almost like something clicked with him and he realized if he strikes out less guys, he can pitch deeper into the game, as he also secured his first complete game.  The no hitter was prolly the highlight though.  Paxton can easily be a top ten starter this year with the asterisk that is always on him, *assuming healthy.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m disappointed, I thought Mike Soroka was the first Thai-born pitcher.  One thing about Soroka, he really brings the heat.  He’ll also answer to Mike The Rooster Sauce.  He’s the spiciest prospect since Pirates’ Single-A phenom, Ravi Gospepradam, and the Padres’ Tony Tarasco.  If only they had that Jays’ prospect, Tom Yum Khai, to cool their palette.  The Braves alone have MLB’s staff highest on the Scoville Scale:  Soroka, Luiz Goharabnero, Mike Frankshotsaucewicz, Sean Capsium and Julio Tahiniran.  Tahini isn’t hot, unless you’re eating it in Iran!  Well, I guess Tahini could be spicy.  If you can make mayo spicy, like Spicymayohiro Tanaka.  Yesterday, Soroka went 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks in only 80 pitches, to show you how on the plate he was with that 95 MPH heat.  In Triple-A, he had a 9.5 K/9, 2 BB/9 and 1.99 ERA with nearly neutral luck.  Against the Mets, he touched the corners of the plate the entire night, barely giving anyone something easy to hit.  This was in a debut for a 20-year-old.  He had more poise than Tootie with a book on her head.  It’s gonna be hard to send him down, but I don’t know what’s in store for him.  He might get the Walker Buehler treatment with the occasional start, bouncing between the majors and Triple-A.  Either way, The Rooster Sauce looks red hot!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yuli Gurriel will forever be known for the less-than-woke gesture he made in the playoffs, unless he were to do something even worse — “Hold on, it appears Yuli has taken the field with…uh…Is that pine tar on his entire face?  Oh, man, that was misguided.”  “Wait, is Yuli patting a rosin bag on his face and performing Kabuki theater on the mound?  Oh, c’mon, Yuli.”  “What on earth is Yuli thinking, he’s dressed like Nanook of the North and building an igloo out of Igloo coolers.  This guy desperately needs to see Human Resources for some sensitivity training.”  Funny in retrospect he made the Asian slight when his nickname is a mashup of two Asian names, Yu + Li.  Any hoo!  Was shocked to see him owned in less than 50% of leagues.  Prior to his Spring Training injury, I had him ranked high, due to how much I wanted him.  Sure, there’s some concern his injury could linger, but he’s well worth the flyer for his potential 20-homer power, .280-ish average and solid counting stats.  Just hope he gets the sensitivity training he needs.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?