Yesterday (but really every time he pitches), Chris Sale went 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA down to 0.91, and yet another no decision.  Elias Sports Bureau said, “Chris Sale had his 4th start in last five seasons on Thursday with 8 IP, 10+ Ks, 0 ER without getting win; no one else has more than one.  Also, there’s 16 different vending machines in our company to choose from, but only one has M&M’s and Drake’s Apple Fruit Pie for 50 Cent that elicits Snickers with the wrappers.”  God, what a bunch of nerds!  Not like us fantasy baseball cool kids!  I wanna tent the Elias Sports Bureau office, fart in there and leave.  Seriously, that’s what I want.  I need a wish genie, up in here!  Up in here!  So, Chris Sale is flippin’ awesome once again, and nothing can stop him except a rock vs. his scissors.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

David Price – Slowed with arm soreness.  I believe on his timetable that I gave him “slowed with arm soreness” falls between “feels fine” and “shut down.”  Not sure if it’s before or after, “nearing rehab…oh, he just took a left past the Church of Emmanuel Lewis…and missed his rehab assignment.”

Xander Bogaerts – Having tests done on his jammed thumb.  Thumb up the jam, thumb it up!

Marco Estrada – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.63.  Ponch De Leon pitched surprisingly well against the Sawx, and solid for the season thus far.  I’ve never been a huge fan of his, but he’s now going on three years when he’s been remarkably steady for an AL East pitcher.

Ian Kinsler – 1-for-3 and his 3rd homer, hitting .217.  After the home run and before rounding the bases, Kinsler took a timeout and asked if he can just point like an intentional walk and not trot around celebrating his heroics.  The umps did not agree.

Jose Iglesias – Hit the 7-day DL with concussion symptoms.  The symptoms included headaches and mistaking Miggy for a beanbag.

Daniel Norris – 4 2/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA up to 3.71.  The good news is you don’t own him.  The bad news is some of you do.  That’s legitimately the worst good/bad news ever.  Not as bad as his xFIP, K/9 and BB/9.  Norris’s peripherals look like those of a pitcher you would never own in a mixed league.  Act accordingly.

Erasmo Ramirez – 5 IP, 1 ER, 2 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.07.  Continuing thought from Norris’ blurb, I wouldn’t own Erasmo either, but he’s pitching much better than Norris and not just in regards to ERA.

Steven Souza – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .349.  He’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but I’m not sure if you’re ever going to pick him up if you haven’t already.  I’ve been telling you to grab him since the 1st week of the season, and I drafted him in one mixed league.  I feel like I’ve done my part.  *unfolds chaise lounge chair, opens aluminum suntanning reflector helmet, dons it, takes nap*  Oh my God, why didn’t anyone wake me?!

Kevin Kiermaier – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer, hitting .292.  Feels a little silly — or lil’ sil’ if you’re in a rush — to say Kiermaier should be owned since I’m not crazy about him, but he’s raised his average 90 points in the last week.

Ervin Santana – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 0.64.  I didn’t do the math but he’s gotta be closest to the best ERA since July 1st of last year.  Verlander and Hendricks were barely ahead of him and they were hit around recently and Ervin’s still magic.  That ERA since July 1st of last year is under-2.00.  Ervin Damntana!  *looking at his peripherals*  Well, his ERA is still great.  Nothing’s completely computing that Ervin has suddenly become an ace, but maybe whatever Jason Vargas was eating, Ervin snacked on.  I wouldn’t drop anyone too valuable for Damntana, but obviously he can be owned.

Trevor Bauer – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 6.35.  I streamed him without consulting the Stream-o-Nator (ballsy!), because he was facing the Twins and their best hitter, Max Kepler, has one homer and 7 RBIs, so, ya know, they’re not so good.

Abraham Almonte – 2-for-5, 1 run, hitting .278.  Almonte has been on the strong side of the right field platoon, and by ‘strong’ I don’t mean the first definition of strong, but the less-used definition of strong that means “awfully terrible, and I’m being sarcastic by saying strong.”

Wade Miley – 8 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 1.89.  Your friend in March, “I think I’m going to draft nothing but hitters for the first 20 rounds, then draft Wade Miley, Scott Feldman, Jason Vargas, Ervin Santana and Mike Leake in the last rounds.”  You, “Haha, what a jerkoff!”  Then you do The Worm dance you’re so excited about how dopey your friend is.  Now, “I hate my friend.”  By the way, I drafted Miley in my NFBC league, and I haven’t moved him from my bench.  Haha, I’m the biggest jerkoff!  I don’t know where all these Ks are coming from, and Miley doesn’t inspire enough interest to research (kidding, I looked into him).  Nothing looks that different other than he’s relying more on his fastball, and he’s laying off the change more.  I’d still put his over/under at 4.10 ERA, but I could see giving him a shot in his next start vs. Rays.

Jonathan Schoop – 1-for-4 and his 3rd homer, hitting .280.  He’s young without that much of a track record, but he feels so safe to put down for 25 homers and .260.

Scott Feldman – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.38.  Okay, no.  You can try Miley, but no on Feldman even if you’re only picking up guys for their Zimmermania appeal.  He only converted for the jokes.

Joey Votto – 1-for-4 and his 5th homer, hitting .224.  Maybe he’s trying to hit 25 homers by the All-Star break, then zero homers in the 2nd half while hitting .425.

Matt Kemp – 0-for-4 as he was activated from the DL.  Kevin from ESPN’s “Get Him In Your Lineup” Department said, “I was not the one who ate the hoagie in the break room fridge, but I saw it and could’ve sworn written on it was ‘Kevin’ not ‘Carl.'”

Stephen Strasburg – 7 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 2.89.  If you own him, I don’t wanna bum you out.  I know you’re thinking because I told you to avoid him in the preseason that I want him to fail.  I don’t.  All I’ll say is his April ERA last year was 2.25 and he still ended up hurt and with a 3.60 ERA.

Shawn Kelley – 1 IP, 0 ER and the save.  That could be it for that closer competition.  I’d still hold Glover for a few, but Kelley feels like he fits Dusty’s idea of a closer.

Ryan Zimmerman – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, hitting .389.  Here’s the zone.  Here’s ESPN’s Zone bar/restaurant.  Here’s Al Gore pointing at a slideshow with visual representations of the ozone.  Here’s Ryan Zimmerman above it all.  Hotter than hell.

Travis Shaw – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer, and 4th homer in the last five games.  …Okay, here’s Ryan Zimmerman.  Then you have Travis Shaw flicking boogers at Al Gore’s slideshow, spraying an aerosol can and changing signs that read “Please Recycle” to “Nonrecyclable,” because he just don’t care he’s so hot!

Eric Thames – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer, hitting .415.  Right now, there’s someone on the phone with the Nats’ Michael Taylor saying, “Listen, you go to Korea, play your butt off and come back and do a Thames.”  ‘Do a Thames’ is now a thing.

Jett Bandy – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer and his 4th homer in two weeks.  Okay, I’ve seen enough.  Goodbye, Miguel Montero, Travis d’Whatever, Placeholder Schmohawk Catcher and welcome to the Albright All-Stars, Jett Bandy!

Carlos Martinez – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.76.  Do the Cards have to ruin at least one starter a year?  Fine, but you already took Alex Reyes!  Kidding, I’d buy C-Mart.  Unless he’s injured (which I don’t think he is), his numbers say he should be better.

Jhonny Peralta – Hit the DL with an upper respiratory illness.  Kolten Wong told the press, “Trade me to CVS for some Robitussin!  Just get me out of here!”

Jedd Gyorko – 3-for-3, 2 runs and his 3rd homer.  He won’t appear in this afternoon’s Buy column, but he could’ve easily with the loss of The Superfluous H.  Gyorko should now play every day for two weeks.

Danny Duffy – 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 1.32.  I told you this yesterday, but samesies for Duffy about going against the Rangers.  The entire team is struggling.  Oh, and Royals aren’t much better so, yeah, whatever to:  Andrew Cashner – 6 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 2.38.

Wil Myers – 2-for-3 and his 4th homer.  Meh, he was so the first ten days of the season.  Hit nine homers and then you can get in Thames’ spotlight.

Austin Hedges – 2-for-3, 2 runs, and his 3rd homer, hitting .170.  I officially have three more homers from my catcher in a 12-team NL-Only league than a 12-team mixed league.

James Paxton – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER.  That might knock Paxton back out of the top 15 for JB’s pitcher ranks.   I’m throwing shade like a parasol!

Taylor Motter – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer.  Jean Segura better hurry back before he gets Wally Pipp’d.

Ryon Healy – 3-for-3, 2 RBIs, hitting .268.  Literally not a day goes by that someone doesn’t want to drop Healy.  These people obviously aren’t dealing with Jose Abreu.

Trevor Plouffe – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer, and 3rd homer this week.  Plouffe goes the dynamite!  Plouffe tends to get hot for stretches, so could be a hot schmotato here.

Mike Trout – 1-for-4 and his 4th homer, hitting .333.  This guy’s pretty good, where have I heard his name before?

Matt Shoemaker – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.98.  The Cobbler’s xFIP is at 4.66, his walk rate is near-4, after it was 1.7 last year, and his K/9 is down too.  I.e., The Cobbler comes à la no’d.

Lance McCullers – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.38.  I’m reminded of Kendrick Lamar’s new song, Humble.  If I may, I recommend the Astros play it during McCullers’ starts.  Specifically, the chorus:  Hol’ up, hol’ up, hol’ up, hol’ up, hol’ up, hol’ up, sit down.  Hol’ up, hol’ up, hol’ up, hol’ up, hol’ up, sit down.  Hol’ up, be humble.  Here’s me when McCullers come to the mound:

Chris Devenski – 2 1/3 IP, 1 ER, and the save, ERA at 1.35.  He has 25 Ks and one walk in 13 1/3 IP.  Ya know, just a 140 K pace in 75 IP.  His xFIP is 0.35.  An xFIP so low and badass it taps you on your right shoulder while having sex with your girlfriend behind your left shoulder.  Devenski is about as automatic as you can get right now.  He won’t get many saves, but he’s a must own everywhere.

Carlos Beltran – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer, hitting .259.  He left the game early but I found no mention of an injury.  Every time an older player leaves early I have a visit from DLzebub.  I’m farting in your general direction, Matt Holliday.

Hector Neris – 1 IP, 0 ER and the save while Benoit worked the 8th (1 IP, 0 ER).  After the game, the Phils’ manager said this, “You hear it a lot these days, about how pitchers are being used differently with different teams.  I just look at it like this: It’s nice to have two guys I trust in the eighth and the ninth.  I trust both of those guys.  I just seized the opportunity to try it tonight.”  Try what?  Confuse the players of their role?  So, Neris could be the new closer, or he’s not.  The Phils’ manager won’t say one way or the other because, ya know, that’s what jinxes closers.  It’s not the actual pitching in the ninth, it’s the naming of the closer.  Man, managers are dumb.

Maikel Franco – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .172.  If anyone is looking to sell him for fifty cents on the dollar, I’d be all over that like white on Trump supporters.

Tommy Joseph – 3-for-4, 1 run.  Has done next to nothing so far, but this could be the light shining through. Wait, The Shining is the wrong Stephen King book for To-Jo.

Yoenis Cespedes – Has a hamstring injury that the Mets don’t think is serious, but the Mets doctors once said a torn elbow tendon was a bruised groin, so we’ll see.  It really feels like the universe is conspiring to give Conforto at-bats.  Let him play!  Let him play!

Noah Syndergaard – 7 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 1.73 vs. Aaron Nola – 5 IP, 4 ER, 11 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA 4.50.  This matchup was billed as “Nola vs. Noah:  So close, yet so far apart.”

Jeurys Familia – 1 P, 0 ER as he returned from his 15-game suspension.  For every out he records this year, I will write one derogatory word about his behavior.  That is my vow.  Kinda like his vow to love, honor and be nightmarish.  Today, he faced off with the Phils.  Their fans have been known to throw batteries at players, and Familia is known for battery.

 
  1. GrandOlePal says:
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    Hey Grey!

    Thanks for your help this year!

    Was offered Souza for Rendon? Yay or meh?

    • The Flayed Man says:
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      @GrandOlePal:

      Rendon

    • Malicious Phenoms says:
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      @GrandOlePal:
      Rendon

    • Duda Want to Build a Snowman? says:
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      @GrandOlePal: Souza seems to have made some tangible improvements (really bumping down the Ks), but Rendon is still the better of the two

  2. Scott says:
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    So who would you rather own for saves now and ROS: glover or neris? Neris got jobbed twice already with jenmar and benoit but has quietly done his thing and is the best reliever in philly. Glover seems behind kelley and dusty generally is allergic to playing rookies but kelley isnt durable. Hell the nats could trade for a closer too. Thanks

    • Mike in Busan says:
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      @Scott: yeah, I dropped Neris rather than Glover a few days ago to grab Brach. Not sure I’m gonna like how this turns out.

      • MR. SWEAT NECKLACE says:
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        @Mike in Busan: Do I hang on to Benoit now that I got Neris? Damn you Pete!

        • Mike in Busan says:
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          @MR. SWEAT NECKLACE: I don’t know what I’m doing. I dropped Neris thinking that Benoit was more likely to hold on to the gig than Kelly was. Opps, apparently.

    • B the Esq. says:
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      @Scott: Neris over Glover. Kelley is going to be primary closer in Washington, at least until they trade for someone near the deadline.

    • JeF WiTh 1 F says:
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      @Scott: Neris over Glover

  3. Matt says:
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    Hi

    How would you rank for the rest of the season Ryan Zimmerman, Healy and Travis Shaw? Is Healy the best choice?

    Also, having segura back on next week and Correa, would you drop Tim Anderson?

    Finally, someone dropped Rich Hill. Is he worth a waiver wire pick?

    • Hawk says:
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      @Matt:

      Never trust Zimmerman to stay healthy.

      I like Healy most. I wouldn’t add Hill unless I had a ready DL spot. Doode has disappointment written all.over him.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Matt: Healy, Shaw

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Matt: Oh, and yeah drop Anderson….Hill’s on waivers in my league

      • Matt says:
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        @Grey:

        Thank you

  4. Mike in Busan says:
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    Drop Joc for Conforto? I mean, neither one of them is playing every day, anyway.
    It’s a “who gets every day ABs first” situation, right?

    • apox says:
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      @Mike in Busan: I would. Especially now that Cespedes is probably hurt for a while with the Hammy.

      • Mike in Busan says:
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        @Grey:
        Thanks, Grey,
        Someone else grabbed Conforto, and Joc had a pretty decent day leading off, so patience.
        After trading Polanco and Maeda to get Darvish (I know, right?), my OF is Mazara, Haniger, Souza, with Pederson as UT and just waiting for Desmond’s hand.
        Now if only Odor starts hitting…

  5. Ante Galic says:
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    Grey!!

    Great write-up, or aka in the land of the FML – Gr8t Alt26 Alt24 (??) [Hold the Alt key and type in the number 26 at the same time, repeat for the up arrow)! Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

    a. Loved the Familia blurb. He recorded 3 outs, so still waiting for 2 more insults! Love the battery.

    b. Gotta go again, so…..

    John Rambo Quote of the day for April 21-23

    Lester: Listen, Will. You sure picked one hell of a guy to mess around with! Just came over the Teletype a few minutes ago. John Rambo is a Vietnam vet. He’s a Green Beret, Congressional Medal of Honor! Guy’s a war hero!

    Sheriff: Jesus, that freak?! I knew there was something about that guy!

    Lester: I double checked it, Will. What do you want me to do?

    Sheriff: I want you to do what I told you to do, goddamn it! Get that chopper back here now! Out.

    [The hunt for Rambo is heating up. One man down (Galt), storm fast approaching, logistics not going the way of our dear Sheriff, played by a then overweight Brian Dennehy! Everything playing into the hands of one John J. Rambo.]

    c. Have a nice weekend!

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Ante Galic: A. Thanks! B. Get the chopper back! C. You too!

  6. Paul says:
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    Austin Hedges add over Evan Gattis?

    • Gigorilla says:
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      Only in a dynasty league. ROS only -Gattis

  7. Grey — Someone dropped Jharel Cotton in one of my leagues. Is he an upgrade over Severino or Maeda?They’re the two low guys on my SP staff at the moment. I think I should probably hold, but Cotton was high on my draft list at the start of the season so the drop caught my eye.

    In another league, is Gregerson or Knebel better than any of Benoit, Casilla, Doolittle, or Glover in a roto league that counts both saves and holds? Because they are separate categories, I don’t mind a good pitcher who is a part-time closer who sometimes pitches the 7th or 8th with a lead.

    Thank you!

    • Hawk says:
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      @Enrique:

      Do not drop Severino.

    • B the Esq. says:
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      @Enrique: Definitely not Cotton over Severino. Probably not over Maeda, but if its a short term thing, look at matchups the next week or 2. Gregorson could be interesting over the others [email protected]Enrique:

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Enrique: Hold…Knebel over Doolittle

  8. P.S. I love the McCullers video! So glad I listened to you on him. I have him on staff in 2 of 3 leagues.

  9. Josh-NYC says:
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    Hey Grey,

    Happy Friday. Your afternoon buy column is easily my favorite fantasy baseballer read of the week.

    1) I was wondering if you like any of these guys on waivers over anyone on my team: Steven Souza, Corey Dickerson, Schoop, Starlin Castro, Mitch Moreland, Ryon Healy

    2) Also.. Thoughts on Tom Murphy? Think he can be better than Matt Weiters this year?

    My team:
    10 Team Yahoo H2H, Standard 5×5 Categories

    C: Weiters
    1B: Goldy
    2B: Odor
    3B: Eugenio
    SS: Correa
    OF: Benitendi, Polanco, Avisail
    Util: Edwin Encarnacion, Carlos Santana, Kepler
    Bench: Rendon (will eventually start over Eugenio once he drinks what Bryce is drinking), Jean Segura (DL)
    DL: Tom Murphy
    NA: Yoan Moncada

    Thank you once again

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Josh-NYC: Thanks, Josh! 1. I’d start Rendon, lose Eugenio for Moreland, play Souza over Kepler for now 2. I do, but he’s still out

  10. Duda Want to Build a Snowman? says:
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    Definitely buying most of what Thames is doing (other than that .424 babip of course) + a bit concerned about all of those minor injuries stacking up with Polanco to give him a pretty meh season.

    Am I batshit crazy for feeling sort of willing to trade a $29 Polanco (keep for $32) for a $0 Thames (keep for $3)?

    • Malicious Phenoms says:
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      @Duda Want to Build a Snowman?:

      Hey Mr. 417B. I think you gotta hold Polanco, who will get better and Thames has to regress..

      • Duda Want to Build a Snowman? says:
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        @Malicious Phenoms: Every time I crack up! Yeah, I think you’re right. Even if I love Thames, better to trade for him when he normalizes. Thanks!

      • Duda Want to Build a Snowman? says:
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        @Grey: Yeah, that’s sort of my thinking about it. 1:1 – nah, but for $3, hard for it to be a total bust.

  11. TTRA1N says:
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    Drop Gallo for Conforto? Is Buxton roster able?

    • Jon Strayer says:
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      @TTRA1N: How deep is the league?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @TTRA1N: Conforto, forget Buxton

  12. Packers says:
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    Another thing about Healy is he should gain 1B eligibility soon depending on league rules.

  13. Matt says:
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    10 Team x ESPN Roto x Standard Scoring (R,HR,RBI,SB,AVG,K,W,SV,ERA,WHIP)

    ‘Do a Thames’ ~ Do a bunch of PEDs and get clean right before coming back to MLB? Sorry a little salty I don’t own him like he owned the Cub’s pitching this week.

    Someone straight up dropped McCullers before his start today. Of course I’m sitting 9 out of 10 in the order. Fingers crossed until tomorrow morning.

    1. Dropped d’Arnaud for Bandy. Should I do the same for R. Martin?
    2. Shaw over T. Joseph? Moreland? Probably not right?
    3. Devenenski over Benoit?
    4. How low are you on Gausman? Should I add Severion/J. Ross/Devenski/Garrett and make him waiver fodder?

    Thanks for the daily baseball reading this week. Appreciate it as always.

    • Fungazi says:
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      @Matt: haha yeah, Thames is looking jacked up with a frame like the old school PED’ers McGwire and Sosa. Not the new gen of PED crew of Dee Gordons.

    • B the Esq. says:
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      @Matt: Probably not getting McCullers with the 9th priority unfortunately.
      1. Probably not. Martin hit 20 HRs last year after a slow start.
      2. If there are guys available on waivers through the year that are legit, why not ride the hot hand for a while, see how it goes.
      3. Heck yes.
      4. Severino

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Matt: Ha, whatever works! 1. 1. Hold 2. Nah 3. Hold 4. Severino

  14. alex s says:
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    I will most definitely use that gif elsewhere. Roll on McCullers, I am humbled

    Grey, I have a Marte situation on my hands. Are you dropping him anywhere you own him? I don’t exactly need the roster spot at the moment, but may coming up. And guys like Reddick and Soler are out there.

    I don’t know whether to treat him like a prospect that has a definite call up date, or just move on and try and reclaim him later

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @alex s: I have seen Marte dropped across all my leagues except NL-Only

  15. Justin says:
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    THanks for all the great writeups. I’ve checked the site every day for about 3 years!
    Ops keep 10 league. My Bryant for his Correa and lamb. I’d the. move villar off short into a utility spot and likely move joc to the bench. Worth the move? Losing Bryant and joc in the lineup adding Correa and lamb.

    • Malicious Phenoms says:
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      @Justin:
      I’d want Bryant

    • B the Esq. says:
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      @Justin: Bryant