by: Roto-Wan
A bunch of bullpens have undergone reseeding after a flurry of deadline moves. It’s not a bad time to grab a speculative arm in an uncertain situation. As the ultimate standing climber, Petr Baelish, once said, “Chaos is a ladder.” Just be careful who you trust your ratio’s with…
Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Grey
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Yesterday, Michael Conforto went 2-for-3, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 24th and 25th homer, and, like, his 43rd homer in the last month (9 homers since the break). Men, dudes, bros, youse, five lady readers, Goofusses and Gallants, Cousin Sweatpants, my peeps from another Easter basket! Conforto gets scorching hot for these month-long stretches that makes you think he could put it together for a whole year one of these days, um, years. He’s the third Met player in history with 100+ homers before the age of 27. The other two are Darryl Strawberry and David Wright. The three of them all stayed at a Howard Johnson in the offseason. HoJo puts on a team-building seminar on his back patio and provides snacks, and Lenny Dykstra works the valet. Conforto’s in-Confort-ible! *screams for 10 minutes* Okay. I’m back. If you look at Conforto’s peripherals he really is more this post-All-Star break hitter, and less the one that struggled for the previous six weeks prior to this. Hopefully, Conforto stays in-Conforto-ible for the rest of this year and into 2020. I can see it now! (Only another 18 months of bad 2020 puns.) Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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Andrew Benintendi has been…Actually, we should stop there and dissect those first four words. He is Andrew Benintendi, as far as I know. ‘Has been’ is interesting, but more of the hyphenated word ‘has-been,’ as in ‘once was’ as in, “I saw Tom Arnold at the Whole Foods near me, what a has-been.” Funny side note that is actually related, as most of you know, Rudy does the titles, I write the posts. So to get a title, I text him what I want the lede to be. Yesterday, I texted him, “Benintendi is a sh*tbird, but might be coming out of it with a homer, title ideas?” That really is it, isn’t it? What more is there to say? His strikeout rate is egregious (for him), up from 16% to 23.6%. His home run per fly ball would make Juan Pierre be like, “Nuh-uh, cuz, you don’t play with that turd.” On top of the vomitorium that is housing his stats, he’s hitting so many fly balls (46%) that are going nowhere (87.5 MPH average exit velocity). This is actually a recipe for disaster I just made-up: Benintendi has 17th most extreme launch angle and the 7th (!) worst HR/FB. In layman’s terms, he’s hitting everything up and nothing out. That’s awful. So, yesterday was a solid game (3-for-5 with his 8th homer, hitting .266), but I’d be careful thinking he has been good, without the hyphen. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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Going back to one of my old favorites, that I didn’t like for awhile, then did like, then loved, then hated, then should’ve loved but hated, then was nonplussed about, then Googled nonplussed to make sure I used it right, then thought about how I went through all of these emotions in, like, two weeks, then took a nap, then clapped my hands, then shot up out of bed and wrote a strongly-worded letter why there should’ve only been one season of Killing Eve, then scrubbed my undercarriage with my Q-Bert loofah and sat down to write about why you should buy Scott Kingery. In my head, I hear Tyler, the Creator, “I think I’m falling in love, this time I think it’s for real,” and he’s singing about Kingery, isn’t he? I THINK so — Tyler’s caps, not mine. From 2016 to 2017, Kingery made adjustments that led to more power, put his swing more in line with Alex Bregman:
That’s who I want him to be. Put it out in the universe and it will come true, that’s The Secret. Last year, he was beat by fastballs, sliders, cutters…Okay, you name it. This year, he’s been positive on all pitches and he’s making way more hard contact. Now, is most of this Buy simply because Odubel Herrera needs to go Saynerrera because he’s a knucklehead? Though, knucklehead might not be the best choice of words in this instance. So, if nothing else, Kingery has short-term value because he should play every day for at least the next few weeks. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Dan Pants
Minnesota’s resident bad boy Miguel Sano continues his triumphal return to crushing baseballs and dinging dongs Friday night with his fifth home run (a solo shot) off Reynaldo Lopez in the third inning. Let it Sano. Let it Sano. Well, you get it. It seems like everyone on the Twins is having a career year so far, and Miguel has returned from the IL just in time to get on this sweet 2019 Twinkie action. He’s now slashing .250/.333/.857 with five home runs and nine RBI through seven games. Yes, you read that correct, five home runs in seven games. Extrapolate that. Calculating….calculating…calculating. Let’s see he’s on pace to hit 76 home runs from now until August. Hmm, wait that seems wrong. Irregardless! He’s 7-for-28 in the past week and five of those seven hits have gone yard-o, folks. If that doesn’t make your happy memorial day I don’t know what can. Sure, he’s got 11 strikeouts already, but he’s also slugging .857. This is Miguel Sano. This is what you’re signing up for. He swings and misses with the best in and biz but when he connects *kisses fingertips* mmm, grazie. He’s available in over 60% of leagues, but that number should shrink quite a bit once the Minneapolis die-hards wake up. He was a BUY and he’s definitely worth a flier if you need power, especially while he’s sending every baseball he touches to the moon. Pick him up, Sano you want to!
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Roto-Wan
The damn is breaking on many bullpens, with holes springing in a good amount of others. If you landed a top tier arm consider yourself immensely lucky. The rest of us schmoes will be in the bullpen garbage heaps looking for a few cans to trade for a nickel. The tiers are GIF themed this week, so no one has to think too hard.
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The Orioles are on pace to give up 1,776 home runs, because they’re close to our nation’s capital, and that is a great figure, a historic number. A cannot be imitated — help me out here, Captain Lou Albano — never duplicated number. Scratch that, they’re now on pace to give up 1777 home runs because of the Battle of the Assunpink Creek. That was also the title of the Pink concert when her stretch pants were a little too skimpy in the back. “I see your Assupink Creek 2017.” Great show, the aerobatics alone. So, I try to avoid making every lede about hitters in Coors or facing the Orioles, but here goes, because Gleyber Torres has 14 homers against the O’s in five games and 12 homers on the year. There’s math involved in that number. He went 2-for-5 with his 11th and 12th homers. Next up, literally, Brett Gardner (3-for-4, 1 run) hit more doubles than the sketchy guy at the craps table who kept betting the horn and looking over his shoulder. DJ LeMahieu (2-for-4, 2 RBIs, HR) was on the ones and twos, but mostly on the ones, since he hit leadoff and his 4th homer. Gary Sanchez (2-for-4) hit his 15th long ball and don’t mention hitting balls around Gary, he crosses his legs. Then there’s Thairo (2-for-4, 2 RBIs, HR), who should be on the Iron Throne, but that’s a hot internet take, and I’m here for cold ones, but he even has three homers because Our Commissioner Manfred sticks Capri Sun straws into balls and juices them up. If you learn nothing else from this post, and you might not, stream all hitters vs. the Orioles. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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I’m like Neo dodging bullets, only instead of bullets, it’s bad pitchers. Bends in slo-mo and avoids Ed-Rod, twists to the right and avoids Trevor Bauer, twists left and sees Jalen Beeks…Well, I’d never own him, so…Then again, he has been pretty good as the Malcolm for the Rays. Ya know, their Middle man. Oh, crap, I’ve been shot! *dies in slo-mo* Beeeeeeeeeeks! *clutches chest, searches for bullet wound, can’t find it* I thought I was shot. Oh, noooooooo!!! It’s worse than I thought! It was my fantasy team that was shot! You could’ve avoided this whole megillah for the last, oh, I don’t know, 12 years, minus two random years in the middle (not Malcolm) if you just owned Justin Verlander. Yesterday, he took a no-hitter into the 7th inning, and went 8 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.24, and on our Player Rater, he is the number one starter. Barely as good as Tim Anderson, but, ya know, those are noogs for another day. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Opposing baserunners must circle a series with Mets on their calendar. It’s like a lion staring a slab of meat. Even a half decent defensive catcher in Wilson Ramos can’t keep the Mets pitchers from handing out speed like Bobby Brown. Every week injuries seem worse than the week before. Grab a fill in that can pad your steals category.
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
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On April 7th, Derek Dietrich admired his 3rd home run of the season for an ungodly amount of time. The last straw for the opposing team was when he paused before running to first, placed a Craigslist ad, waited five days for a sketch artist to respond, then had the sketch artist draw him rounding the bases. Then when he got to third and saw the first draft of the drawing, yelled, “No freakin’ charcoal,” and paused for another few days to find someone who worked in pen. After that display, everyone was calling Dereck Dietrich a hot dog, even the world’s leading critic of hot dogs, the guy driving the Weinermobile. Of course, none of this was blown out of proportion like Tim Anderson. Cut to weeks later and we’ve realized why Dietrich wanted to study his home run trot. He was perfecting it. On Friday, he hit his 6th and 7th homers, then his 8th homer on Saturday and his 9th homer on Sunday (1-for-3, hitting .257). I doubt it continues, but I also can’t imagine a reason to not ride the hot schmotato while it’s going on. As 50 Cent’s fantasy baseball team is named: Get Dietrich or Dietrich Tryin’. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Roto-Wan
A strain is a tear and a tear is a strain. The arms that are hurting have torn stuff somewhere in there. Don’t let doctors dress thing up with fancy words. Discomfort, swelling, strain all mean something is not in its original state. If one of your pitcher’s arms is hurting you have trouble. Buy some insurance with a well-placed bullpen add.
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*blows dust off cover to the book, “Raimel Tapia, Fantasy Sleeper”* Just found this book on a shelf in this Colorado-area bookstore. “I think this is yours.” The bookstore owner holds up a copy of, “Josh Rutledge’s Fantasy Sleeper.” Haha, no, that’s not mine. “It says “Property of Grey Albright.” Can I just read from one of your other books in peace without paying for it? No wonder bookstores are all going out of business, you don’t leave your customers alone! Any hoo, as I was saying about Raimel Tapia, he was a 2015 Pick-to-Click, a 2016 Gotz-to-Getz-Him, a 2017 This-is-the-Year and a 2018 Absolute-Must-Own for a reason. He has 15-homer power and 25-steal speed who shouldn’t hurt you in average (think .270). The problem for so long has been the Rockies’ inability to kowtow to fantasy owners and play the sexy guys. Not unrelated, Garrett Hampson is due for everyday playing time in 2023. However, something interesting has happened recently — interesting is subjective but if you’re reading this I assume it applies — Ian Desmond has been getting benched regularly. Finally! If Tapia gets 5+ starts a week, he is a Pick-to-Click-Gotz-to-Getz-Him-This-is-the-Year-Absolute-Must-Own in all leagues. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?A little birdie told me our 2024 Fantasy Baseball subscriptions are live. The little birdie also said it includes our Draft War Room. You really wanna lose in a fantasy baseball league to a little birdie? Would be kinda embarrassing, tbhhttps://t.co/1ag7IFSYS0
— Razzball (@Razzball) January 8, 2024
