With the time when prospects are called up fast approaching, it’s appropriate for us to take this time to walk past the fallen rookies of the past. Sorta like the Rites of Passage walk on Survivor when they burn all of the Survivors’ belongings that didn’t make it to the end. When I write it out, it sounds like something Germany did in the 1940s. Any the hoo! I’m feeling nostalgic as we look ahead to some young players. So, here’s what I wrote about what Keith Law wrote back a few years, “Here we have the number one pick in the 2008 MLB draft, Tim Beckham. Actual Keith Law quote, ‘(Beckham has) the best chance of anybody in this draft pool to be a superstar.’ Good stuff, Keith, thank you. Next up, Jesus Montero and Zach McAllister. Actual Keith Law quote from a chatscript: Question, ‘Could Montero be an All-Star level 1B?’ Answer from Law, ‘Yes.’ So succinct, have to love that when you’re right. Question, ‘How do you project McAllister?’ Law answer, ‘At least a #3.’ At least! Hashtag nailed it. These are fun, let’s do more! Another question posed to him, ‘I’ve heard contrasting things about Dustin Ackley’s power. Based on what you’ve seen what is Ackley’s ceiling in terms of HR/year?’ Keith, or Klaw as he calls himself, said, ‘I could see 20-25. I’d say Ackley’s chance for 30 HR power is 20%.’ Okay, one more (though I could do this all day) actual Keith Law quote, and this one is classic because he name drops his alma mater. In 2009, someone asked him, ‘Shouldn’t Teheran be higher on (Law’s prospect) list than Jeff Locke?’ Keith said, ‘Are you asking me or telling me? When I first got to Harvard, there was this variety show that some upperclassmen put on during freshman week, and one guy had a funny routine about ‘flexers’ — students who would ask bogus questions that were really designed to state opinions or try to show off knowledge. (Grey comment, “Sounds like a riot!”) Obviously, the answer is ‘no,’ since I ranked Locke over Teheran. It’s incredibly naive to ignore probability when ranking prospects.’ I do enjoy a pompous ass. I wonder if he has a post.harvard.edu email address. Of course, he does! His email is likely [email protected]” And that’s me savoring in the deliciousness of Keith Law’s perception and humbleness! This brings us to Tyler White and Yuli Gurriel–Wait, no it doesn’t. It brings me to Yordan Alvarez and Kyle Tucker, the guys we’re hoping replace White and Yuli. By the way, Yuli’s impersonation of a white man’s eyes — not cool. Why do we care so much about Yordan and Tucker? I mean, I even put them in the video at the top of this page. We care because their Triple-A numbers are on par with Vladimir Guerrero Jr.’s. Yordan and Tucker are flat-out raking. Yordan has been otherworldy; Tucker is on the 40-man roster and been other otherworldly for the last month. Both guys should be up very soon and owned in all leagues until they’re either promoted, untenable to hold, stop hitting in the minors or are traded for Jeff Locke. Don’t make me do my funny routine about flexers. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Christian Vazquez – I’ve owned Vazquez for almost four days, which is longer than I’ve resisted picking my catcher scab all year, so won’t you scab over with me? Right now there’s a union chief screaming, “Scabs!”
Kevin Cron – Here’s what I said this morning, “Promoted by the Diamondbacks. You know how good your prospects are now by who they’re related to that either plays or used to play baseball. “Is he C.J. Cron’s son?” “Brother.” “Was C.J. Cron ever in the 2005 All-Star Game?” “Okay, shut up, Jays!” So Kevin Cron was going to be featured prominently later today in the Buy column, but here we are and he’s been called up. You thought C.J. Cron was a black sheep of managers around the major leagues because he hits 30 homers every year and then gets released, traded or benched the following year? We have a new disrespected member of the Cron family! About to start calling them the Cronerfields. “Hey,” pulls on collar, “We get no respect.” The Crons’ family picnic goes like this. “Did anyone bring the sandwiches?” “Yes, but the dog pissed on them then the dog ran away.” Crons’ Family Christmas Special, “Who brought the turkey?” “I did, but the turkey turned into a zombie and waddled out the oven door, hailed an Uber — without a cellphone! — and took off.” Damn, Crons, you are sad! So, why is Kevin Cron also receiving no respect from his team, the Diamondbacks? Because he’s just being called up and he has 21 homers with a .339 average in 44 games in Triple-A and he’s 26 years old! What more did he have to do? Well, I guess nothing now, but still, that they waited this long? No respect, I tell ya! Cron has a pretty big bat, and could sneak into 20+ homers in two-thirds of a season. His projections (as with all rookies) are at the Prospectonator.” And that’s me quoting me!
C.J. Cron – How overlooked is Curtis Jackson Cron all the time? Audience refrain, “How overlooked is he?!” He’s so overlooked he can’t even be the first Cron in a Buy section with his younger brother. Audience refrain, “Okay! Interesting!”
Josh Naylor – Here’s what I said this morning, “Promoted by the Padres. Naylor had 10 HRs in Triple-A with a .299 average in only 45 games, so ready, Freddy. However, playing time is an issue for Naylor. Naylor might be up just to DH in Toronto. Honestly, I have no idea where else he would play. 1st and bench Hosmer? No. I mean, you might want that to be the case, but no. Left field and bench Renfroe? Again, you can wish that into existence, but no.” And that’s me quoting me!
Mitch Moreland – He sounds like a ready-made biker’s fantasy t-shirt, “The Mitch fell off, now I have Moreland.”
Garrett Cooper – There’s been few guys as hot as Cooper (over the last two games).
Marwin Gonzalez – Real question: Does Marwin have the most position eligibility of anyone ever? He has 1B, 2B, 3B, SS and OF. Did anyone else ever have that and catcher? I thought of Isiah Ralph-Kiner-Falafel already so no reason to mention him. He has less than Marwin.
Mark Canha – “More like Mark Can’do,” said the homeless gym teacher living in Oakland’s right field stands because it’s the cheapest rent in the Bay Area.
Luis Arraez – Here’s what I said the other day about him, “In the hullabaloo of all the recent call-ups, one name that wasn’t talked about much was Arraez. Prolly because he has three-homer power, seven-steal speed and is blocked by Schoop. That’ll darken up the old bright side. The positive is he has great contact rates and could hit .320.” And that’s me quoting me!
Dawel Lugo – Our one female (baseball) writer, the immaculately hatted, Laura, told you about Lugo last week and how he was hitting .341 (.393 OBP) in Triple-A. By the way, Laura and I have played in the same keeper league for about 20 years and she’s beat me 20 of 20 years. I wish I was joking.
Miguel Sano – Just went over him this morning. Use you scrolly finger, and scroll on, scroller!
Brendan Rodgers – The other day frequent commenter erad said, “I think one of the most maddening things about Dahl being platooned is that when he’s in the lineup – he’s hitting 3rd (unless it’s a lefty). So you’re saying most of the time this dude occupies the spot typically reserved for your best hitter, but the rest of the time he can barely crack the starting line up. GOT IT.” That has nothing to do with Rodgers. Dot dot dot. Or does it? Narrator: It does. The Rockies are stupid. Their three-hole hitter is a platoon guy, so who knows what’s going on with Rodgers, but I would try to own him.
Nicky Lopez – There’s prolly a 50% chance Lopez has a better 2019 than Rodgers. That’s due to playing time; Lopez might not be 10% the hitter Rodgers is. 10% wouldn’t even make him Mr. Rogers, heck, he’s not even Mr. Roders! Thankfully, he’s prolly better than Mr. Oders.
Scott Kingery – Love an aggressive manager, but Gabe Kapler is like on a sugar high. Is he gulping down Pixy Stix between innings? “Batting third today is Kingery and cleanup is PURPLE!” “Um, coach, purple is a color, not a player.” “A delicious color! And I want ORANGE HITTING FIFTH!” Which is to say Kingery might play every day or never.
Hunter Pence – “I’m just going to pick some flowers for my grandmother from this Home Depot garden aisle–What is that poking out of the soil?! A bird’s wing….a hand…Oh my God, it’s a Zombino Gangly ManBird!”
Avisail Garcia – Mostly a hot schmotato, but a few taters later and a hot schmotato is an e’ery day O’tay. Say that fast 117 times!
Luke Jackson – Seems to still be the closer, but Atlanta is circling Kimbrel like a save vulture that picks the carcasses of ex-closers, which means they may just be like, “Dubya tee eff, we don’t need Jackson to figure it out, let Newcomb save games for a month, then Kimbrel in July.” So, Jackson prolly, but Newcomb maybe. Very exact!
Hansel Robles – The other day I officially dropped Cody Allen in one deep league, which means Allen will be the closer again by June 1st. I’m only half joking. Ex-girlfriends would say it’s the lower half of me that’s the joke part.
Roenis Elias – Mariners are kinda everything that’s wrong with baseball. They could’ve competed this year, but they seem to be going out of their way to not compete. Okay, not just the M’s, more like half the league. But Elias is another example. He could close, possibly if they just gave him the job, but instead he closes, then they bring him into the 6th inning in the next game and he doesn’t know what’s flying. Brandon Brennan or the more appropriately named, Sadzeck, could also see saves.
Mitch Keller – As you see in the video at the top of the page, I pointed out another rookie starter that I’m less than enthused about. Rookie pitchers give me the heebie jeebies! I know, I know, Chris Paddack! But he’s in San Diego and, for every Chris Paddack, we have Lucas Giolito taking four years to look the part. You can buy (or sell or hold or whatever) any rookie pitcher depending on the league, Keller does look solid. Personally, I can’t wait until he gets traded to the Astros!
Ozzie Albies – When the Braves signed Albies for twelve Bed, Bath and Beyond 20% off coupons that can’t be used in conjunction with any other offer, it seemed like the Braves were getting a good deal. Albies was like, “I’m making more than my Uncle Lucious with the Al pastor truck and I’m happy,” and everyone was like, “Aw, Ozzie can’t recognize happiness,” but maybe that better-than-an-Al-pastor-truck money has taken the edge off him to perform. Maybe he’s just who he is, which is a 22-homer, 14-steal, .260 hitter, which isn’t terrible if this were 1984 and you were between him and Dick Schofield. However, he’s due for another 15 homer and 10 steals and that sounds like a good month from some shortstops. So, I’m not saying sell Albies for a ride on the back of two men in a horse’s costume, but I would look at our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer for possible offers.