Please see our player page for Hansel Robles to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Yesterday, the Nats’ GM Rizzo put his feet up on his desk, rolled up a million dollar bill and used it to lit a cigar filled with million dollar bills, saying, “And that’s why I gave Patrick Corbin $140 million eight years after his prime.” Patrick Corbin went 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 6.06. You can think to yourself, “Damn, I should’ve streamed Patrick Corbin yesterday because the Streamonator loved it,” but I’d prefer to think, “I ain’t ever starting a pitcher with a 6+ ERA.” His last three years of ERAs are…I’d ask for a drum roll, but they deserve a sad trombone…4.66, 5.82, 6.06. If we were in Bizarro World, you’d be collecting your crown from America’s Next Top Model and Patrick Corbin would be an ace. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s poppin, Razzpimples? Bullpen update time! Don’t forget, the Razzball Bullpen Chart is manned by yours truly and updated like every single second (not really, but I stay on top of thangs for the most part). And directly below are your Top 10 most valuable RP over the last week, courtesy of our super cool and filterable Last […]

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They say he’s the greatest Orioles catcher ever. They say the greatest catcher prospect since Yogi Berra. They are talking about Matt Wieters. “They” are Keith Law. He’s not the only one. I went back to the 2009 prospect guys to see what people were saying about Matt Wieters and found, “Has the power of Mark Teixeira,” and “a bat so potent he could be a two-time batting champion and one of the game’s biggest stars in almost two years.” Okay, I lied, those are all Keith Law quotes! Good for baseball that Wieters wasn’t its biggest star. Others were just as complimentary to Wieters with Kevin Goldstein, who got a job with the Astros and now the Twins said, “Wieters, Chris Tillman and Brian Matusz are can’t miss.” They had great things to say about Matt LaPorta too. Who? Not sure, I think Matt LaPorta is French for doormat. From that draft alone, there was no mention of Madison Bumgarner, Giancarlo, Freddie Freeman, Josh Donaldson, or even Travis d’Arnaud, all guys drafted after Wieters and LaPorta. Why mention any of this? Just tamping down Adley Rutschman enthusiasm with this hype-cleaver. That’s my Tamp-ax! Wait, maybe it’s not a good idea to say that. So, this is a weird way to start a post where I say I’d absolutely pick up Adley Rutschman in every league. Killing enthusiasm with my Tampax. Yikes, need to stop saying that. The Tampax (this is not a sponsored post, by the way) is simply to stop up hype that Rutschman will be a top five catcher as soon as he’s called up. I don’t think he will, but he could be. Think 15 HRs and .280 for four months. It’s irrelevant what he was even doing in the minors. He was ready two years ago. He’s worth adding in all leagues if you’re struggling at catcher, Tampax be damned. Period. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

Who knew the most emblematic song about MJ would’ve been Smooth Criminal? Or going from Pretty Young Thing to Beat It. Or Bad. Jeez, now that I think about it, a lot of Michael Jackson songs become Creep City. Would’ve been hilarious if he named Neverland, “Creep City.” Not haha funny, but more like, “Hey, lots of red flags here, guys, maybe we should investigate?” Speaking of investigating, MJ Melendez (how about that segue?) sounds like a 90s tabloid reporter who would’ve been invited to Neverland to “take a look around” while the help hide children in closets, waiting for Michael. Speaking of segues, I took a Segway tour through Beverly Hills and we stopped at the former Menendez Brothers’ house and the people who now live there just looked at us with disgust. Was pretty cool. Any hoo! Sal Perez is the type to play through all kinds of shizz, so that he was IL’d means he must’ve truly been hurt. MJ Melendez was also up with the club even before the Sal P. IL stint, so the Royals seem committed to him. We don’t care about catchers usually, but Melendez could be a 17-homer, .250 catcher this year with even some steals thrown in. Him or Adley? If both were up, I don’t think Adley’s necessarily the better choice for this year. The guy who is up right now is the easy call. A-B-C, as easy as 1-2-3, for the King of Pop Times. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yusei…

I only hear what I want to. *sob-snorting* I thought what I felt was simple! *mumbling words I don’t know* Turn the MLB dot com on! Yusei is on. *mumbling more words I don’t know* I think that Yusei’s throwing, but I’m thrown. Is Yusei…oh…kay? *mumbling more words I don’t know* You try to give away a keeper, or keep me cause you know you’re just so scared to lose, and Yusei…Stay.

It’s kinda crazy how much Lisa Loeb was singing about Yusei Kikuchi (6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 3 walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.38) when he was only three years old. Yusei’s command is usually around a 3.5 BB/9, but this year so far it’s 5.6. His Ks are still so far’king good — 9.3 K/9, and his velocity is fine (95 MPH on the speedball), and he seemed like he wasn’t controlling the cutter/slider well early on, and it was forcing him to throw the fastball more. So hitters were sitting dead-red on the chugga-chugga, and it wasn’t working. In his last three starts, things have been better, and Yusei isn’t just a Gen X anthem for lost love angst. Yusei…Stay on my teams. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The new Dr. Strange movie introduces us to the idea of being able to explore other universes, or multi-verse.  I sure wish I could take that idea and incorporate it into the ever changing paradigm of baseball.  For starters, there has to be a world where the use of performance enhancing drugs are actually healthy for us to use.  Like if you could eat a can of spinach and get stronger.  That would make for a really good movie!  I don’t know, I just miss the days where you could have an exit velocity of 110 mph with a launch angle of 20 degrees and not have the ball die at the warning track.  Clearly the pitchers don’t need anything like that, since 94% of all pitchers can throw 102.  Now, give me some of that healing juice to offset the inevitable TJS that comes with such velocity.  It would also be nice to have a universe where Byron Buxton stays healthy all season!  Ok, that might fracture the fragile multi-verse!  Maybe just 140 games…Baby steps. 

Why, you may ask, would we want to change the game that we love so much?  Well, for starters, I imagine the marketing dept for MLB is a room full of old white men who want to suck the fun out of everything.  The unwritten rules and all!  I can remember the buzz around StL when McGwire and Sosa were exchanging knock out blows….but I guess we would rather see the like of Edwin Jackson, Dallas Braden, and Phil Humber collect no-hitters like Pokeman cards. 

Oh well, maybe we will just have to settle for today’s game.  If we have to settle for that, then you have to settle for this next installment of Getting Ahead in Head to Head!  

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well hello there, Razz-folken!

Sorry, I’m working my way through Stephen King’s Dark Tower series (on Book 6 of seven — fantastic, trippy, masterful stuff), which contains some very interesting folken indeed. So that’s where that came from.

I’ve got some news for y’all. I am no longer the Injury Guru around these parts. I had my fill of ’em last year, let me tell you. Not sure my brain could handle tracking all that madness for another season (assuming we even get a full one…). Alas, the ever-so-talented-and-witty Keelin Billue will be manning the Ambulance Chasers column. Instead, I’ve become the official Bullpen Guru of Razzball! In addition to the weekly SAGNOF recaps, I’ll be in charge of our brand-spankin’ new Bullpen Chart, tracking who’s closing and who’s setting up across the MLB. Side note: I’m still waiting for the day SVHD becomes the standard category.

What I’ve got for y’all is just a good old-fashioned tiered ranking (catered toward the 12-team standard 5×5 audience). I could pretend I’m doing this for the people, but really this is as much for me as it is for you, dear reader. I’ve had my fantasy hockey helmet on, helping Viz over the on the Razzball Hockey side of things. Haven’t paid the best attention to the goings on in MLB — I could use a little brush up on how bullpens are looking.

Welp, I’ll quit dillydallying and get right to it. I’ll update these rankings eventually as things change throughout the course of the offseason. Some big names are still homeless as of now (you can find notes on them under the rankings themselves). These rankings stem from a combination of my genius brain and Rudy’s projections, which of course you can see over on the World Famous Razzball Player Rater.

I lied; I’ve got a little more dillydallying to do. I want to make it clear this is a focus solely on guys in closer situations. I’m looking at this through the lens of saves. I would personally rather own a Devin Williams type than a crappy closer like Cole Sulser in most instances, but I didn’t want to jumble up my tiers with guys who aren’t likely to get saves with any kind of regularity. Devin Williams, Craig Kimbrel, Jonathan Loaisiga, etc. do not appear in what you’ll see below. Maybe I’ll get around to some HAGNOF rankings, but you can always pop over to the Bullpen Chart and the Player Rater to find guys to help you with holds. And one last note: even though you see numbered rankings, they’re more of a formality. I treat everyone pretty much equally within their respective tiers, and it could shake out to where any one of them could out-rank the other. Is that a cop out for “hindsight is 20/20” purposes? Maybe! Oh, and the stats you see are 2021’s totals. Duh.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s the final countdown!

Razzball friends and family, we are in the final week of most H2H leagues.  What a long strange trip it’s been?  Nate? What’s up with all the music references?  Some would say it’s because some are hearing the fat lady singing, but not us!  Not you!  If you have been following all year, we have had some really nice wins on the season.  Cedric Mullins, Robbie Grossman, Raimel Tapia, Robbie Ray, and countless others.  I am not trying to pat myself on the back, but it’s nice to have some W’s to go along with the L’s.

Are you fighting for that final playoff spot? Have you already punched your ticket into the playoffs?  Regardless, now is the time to fine-tune that fantasy team.  Take a look at your upcoming schedule and see if your opponent has been wiping the floor with offense or with pitching, and align your team to match their strengths or weaknesses.  If you happen to have a bye, look ahead two weeks and try to see which pitchers may have 2-starts, or if there are any matchups at Coors, etc.  

While it’s nice to look ahead, let’s not get carried away!  Here are the key players who will help you get ahead in H2H for Week 21!   

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Okay, let me get this straight so I can fully understand. Robbie Ray puts on some gotchies that are three sizes too small so you can see homeboy’s birth marks on his asscheeks and then he becomes elite? Fine, then I’m gonna try and write wearing jeans shorts, jorts if you will, that are too small. Ready? Here we go! Robbie…The button is digging into my FUPA! The pockets are chafing my upper thighs! Ugh, I can’t get them off! Oh my God, I’m calling 911! I can’t feel my knees! Help me! “Hello, can you spare Chris Sale? I need him to cut something off me. Hello?! Help!” So, Robbie Ray went 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 14 Ks, ERA at 2.72. On the Player Rater, he’s around a top ten starter. Can Robbie Ray do that in 2022 fantasy? In short, yes. In long, yeeeeeeeeeeees. He has a 11.3 K/9 and 2.3 BB/9. That’s an ace. Can he repeat the command? That’s the real trick, but as soon as someone shows a skill, I’m not going to take it from them. It’s not like this is a 20 IP sample. He’s done this for 150+ IP. Yes, Robbie Ray appears to be legit. As long as he never lets out his inseam. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?