Good for the Mets. Seriously. No joke. They deserve to act like they’re from a big market, because, here’s the wild thing, they are. How’sever, it is shameful how Cleveland punts every year. Offsetting Browns’ recent success? Baker Mayfield? More like Baker could field anywhere on that team. Also, what’s with all the sweets going from Cleveland? Lindor truffle, Cookie…Lucky it’s Shane Bieber vs. Shane Keebler or he would’ve been traded too. Cleveland’s front office calling up teams, “We got a Double-A middle infielder named Ferrero Rocher, any interest?”Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Ervin Santana to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
The Rays called up their 1st base prospect, Nate Lowe, to go with Ji-Man Choi, Yandy Diaz and Daniel Robertson, which brings me to the real question of the day: How can Tampa have so many corners on their roster and no bodegas? The Rays have more cornermen than Avon Barksdale. My 9th grade geometry teacher, Mr. Corbello, would tell you, if you have two sides of a diamond and four corners, then you’re looking at a clusterfudgeogram. The clusterfudgeogram generates little playing time and lots of headaches for those making heads or tails of it. The real question might be: Would the Rays be as daft to call up one of their top prospects to ride the bench? That seems unlikely, but since he’s a lefty and this is Kevin Cash, and Cash Ruins Everything Around Me, C.R.E.A.M. get the funny way to set your lineup, ya big dummy. We care because Lowe’s got some lumber. His projections are at the Prospectonator, and they’re not too shabby, like the quarter piece of Harrison Ford’s Jewishness. Prospect Mike ranked Nathaniel Lowe (Why so serious, Nate?) in his top 100 fantasy baseball prospects and said this elsewhere, “Lowe is a big left-handed bat who can hit for both average and power. In 2018, he popped 27 homers and hit .330/.416/.568 across three levels. He’ll be ready when the Rays need him, unlike how no one needs Grey.” Okay, not cool! I tried to add Nathaniel Lowe and Nate Lowe everywhere; I believe they’re the same person and they were both gone. However, I didn’t contract any FOMO. Finding a bat corner bat with some pop is as easy as going down to the corner store, grabbing a burner Moreland-type and avoiding the clusterfudgeogram. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, on the way to the park, Chris Paddack felt under the weather. Not to confuse people, Paddack had the flu, there’s no weather in San Diego. So, Chris Paddack was touching 100, and I’m not talking about his fastball. As Paddack made his way to the mound, he’d cough and: “You rang?” That’s the on-staff hernia nurse. Well, it’s not just the hernia nurse who’s on-staff when it comes to Paddack. Yesterday, he dismantled the Mariners — 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 9 Ks, ERA at 1.67 in 27 IP, getting some swinging strikes that were…Well, one swing by Daniel Vogelbach was the highest pitch generating a swing all year at four-feet and eight-inches aka “an Altuve.” Currently, Paddack sits at 10 K/9, 2.7 BB/9 and a 3.80 xFIP, and, Steamer’s rest-of-the-season projections for him are 3.49 ERA with a 10 K/9 in 120 IP, i.e., a top 40 starter in all mixed leagues. With all his commercials, Justin Verlander can push his Flonase down our throats (noses?), but Paddack pitching is sick — God bless you! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Christian Yelich hit his 6th homer and his…wait for it….here it comes…where’d it go…did I leave it in the car…no, it’s right here under my ass…and his 7th homer and his…crap, this one is in the car, isn’t it…nope, under the other cheek…and his 8th homer! Add in 7 RBIs and he’s hitting a zillion. Can we just crown him with back-to-back MVPs and sneak him into Ariana Grande’s room already? After he wins his 2nd straight MVP, there will still (!!!) be someone next March who is saying something like, “Grey, you are wildly handsome, but I just don’t trust Yelich. Can you talk me into him?” Which they will say right after I’ve written 1,200 words on Yelich. Doode is a beast who powers the Milwakuee’s Best. Don’t funk up my jam! Which is what Mr. Smuckers says to his wife when she messes up his DVR recordings of The Voice. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Opens an envelope, and, inside, is an invitation. “Wow, what gorgeous calligraphy. Someone took their calligraphy class at 8 PM every Wednesday for six weeks at a local college very seriously. Patrick Bateman would be jealous of that raised font.” Reading, “Please join us, the Tampa Bay Rays, for the Star Mitzvah of Austin Meadows. On Tuesday, the ninth of April, two thousand and nineteen at twenty-four minutes after two o’clock in the afternoon at Temple Fantasy Tova Those Other Outfielders. A reception to follow at one of the 37 local Hooter’s restaurants in the Tampa area. Rather than gifts, please bring Cash. Our manager, he gets lost.” How sweet is that. I wonder if I was invited because I wrote an Austin Meadows sleeper this preseason. Prolly. Sound the shofar, Meadows is finally breaking out! *remains super calm, then screams* I TOLD YOU! Yesterday, Austin Meadows went 4-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and a slam (3) and legs (2), hitting .308. Hopefully, this is the start of the big things I imagine for him, and, finally, he becomes a man. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I don’t pay much attention to Spring Training Statistics. You never know who the statistics are coming against. Baseball-Reference did, however, have an amazing tool last year that attempted to quantify the quality of opposing pitchers or batters faced during spring training games on a scale from 1-10 with 10 being MLB talent and 1-3 being high A to low A level. This tool is great, but it averages all the Plate Appearances or batters faced. You would still need a deeper dive to see if your stud prospect smacked a donger off of Chris Sale or off of your kid’s future pony league baseball coach. So what should we watch for in March when we’re starved for the crack of the bat? Ignore “best shape of their life” stories and Spring Training statistical leaderboards. Pay attention to injuries and lineup construction and position battles!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Moment of silence for the White Sox. Their gambit failed and now they’re stuck with every top free agent’s in-laws. Their clubhouse chemistry is gonna be like Meet the Fockers but more Dominican. Meet the Focktinez! “That’s my cat, Señor Mal Suerte. He uses el bano all by lonesome.” That’s Yonder Alonso. Bryce Harper’s dad eyes Señor Mal Suerte, then replies to Yonder, “You can milk anything with nipples. Even Yolmer Sanchez.” Any hoo! Bryce Harper finally signed with the Phillies. Halleberrylujah! It’s not even Easter and baseball season has already risen! Bryce Harper returns to the City of Brotherly Love, where he first visited with the Phillies’ front office six months ago. “We want you to be a Philadelphia Phillie.” “I want $330 million.” “Okay.” Then six months later, “You’ve got a deal!” Harper and Boras drive one hard bargain. They accept the first deal they’re given, but nearly a half year after they’re given it. Bryce Harper’s gonna love playing in Philly. They have the best fans in the world. They’ve already announced May 1st is Rain Batteries On Bryce’s Head Day. A crowd favorite, for sure. I don’t think this changes anything about my preseason projections for him, tee bee aitch. I always assumed he’d end up in Philly, New York or with the White Sox, because, brucely, those were the only three teams ever serious about him. Maybe the Giants, but let’s just be glad that didn’t happen. In my top 20 for 2019 fantasy baseball, I kept his projections. Only difference now will be if Gabe Kapler and Bryce’s dad get into an arm wrestling fight, and Daddy Harper wins and Bryce is randomly benched for Scott Kingery. Also, I updated the top 80 outfielders and top 100 outfielders for Roman Quinn and Nick Williams, respectively, and my War Room has been updated. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Cougs’ brother bought a place in Jackson Hole, Wyoming; I mentioned to Cougs at one point in the last five years of marriage I skied once twenty years ago, and that’s the story of how I drafted a fantasy team falling graciously down the side of a mountain. That’s right, ya boy went skiing this past weekend, and was drafting from a ski lift! Thankfully, Geronimo Berroa is no longer in the league, because I might’ve ended up with him on my team because I kept screaming out his name during each round. So, I took on the monsters of the industry in an AL Only league that was hosted by Scott White of CBS and I came away with a team that is more imbalanced than your aunt after two cocktails. This league is deep so hold onto ye old hat. (If you want a shallower league, play against me and hundreds of your closest buddies in the Razzball Commenter Leagues. Or closet buddies, if you’re reading fast and/or experimenting.) Anyway, here’s my 12-team AL-Only team and some thoughts:Please, blog, may I have some more?
With these top 100 starters for 2019 fantasy baseball, I’ve finished our (my) 2019 fantasy baseball rankings for positions. Still coming will be a top 100 overall and top 500 to see how all the positions mesh together like your mesh Redskins jersey that meshes with your burgundy sweatpants. Trust me, when you see how long this post is, you’ll be glad I kept this intro short. As always, my projections are included, and where I see tiers starting and stopping. If you want an explanation of tiers, go back to the top 10 overall and start this shizz all over again. Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2019 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
“Hey, Stream-o-Nator, I have a surprise for you.” The Stream-o-Nator backs up slightly, unsure of what I’m going to do to its tender robot heart. The Stream-o-Nator was born in a scrapyard run by Steven Avery’s family. Not the Making a Murderer guy, the ex-Braves pitcher. The story of how it got separated from its family is similar to Sophie’s Choice, but sadder and involves more heavy metal. Suffice it to say, the Stream-o-Nator is longing for any connection, electrical or otherwise. This brings us to yesterday’s matchup and why I sought the Stream-o-Nator. Gently approaching the 8-foot robot, “It’s a good surprise. I wanna be your friend.” The Stream-o-Nator swoons, playing Just The Two Of Us on its chest-implanted boombox. Perhaps my friendship is simply what have you done for me lately, but Andrew Heaney was enough for me to be bothered with late-night phone calls when the robot is feeling blue Raspberry Pi. Heaney went 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 12 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.98. (Reynaldo Lopez wasn’t bad either — 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.22). For this year, due to how few starts are left, I’m looking at the Stream-o-Nator for every start, and it loves Heaney for his next start. “I’m here for you robot pal. C’mon, high-five me!” Stream-o-Nator’s arm falls off and it sighs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?