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Braves are calling up one of their top pitching prospects, Spencer Schwellenbach, for today’s game. That’s right, Schwellenbach is a Braves’ pitching prospect, and not what the doctor says every time Brandon Lowe complains of lower back pain. “Sorry, your fourth and fifth vertebrae are pressing against each other. You have a Schwellenbach!” Kinda crappy […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?