by: Grey
Yesterday, Jonatan Clase (1-for-4, 1 RBI) was called up by the M’s with Canzone hitting the IL. Jonatan’s name cracks me up. Imaging the nurse filling out the birth certificate, “Jonathan with an H?” “Honatan? No. What are we, stupid?” So, Jonatan has lightning-fast speed. He just ran into your room, moved your inkwell and […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Wanna quote myself for my biggest mention of Colton Cowser (1-for-3 and his 4th homer, hitting .441) this past preseason. I drafted a 15-team mixed league team in November, and took as my 5th outfielder, Colton Cowser
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
In his village of Cambio, Venezuela, every family had multiple changes of clothes, had change for a peso everywhere they went and the city’s favorite TV show was RuPaul’s Drag Race because of how well the contestants would change before our eyes, Ronel Blanco was raised in this culture of change from his crib to–Kidding! Come on! There’s no way I’m doing a lede Buy for Ronel. Mr. White’s the biggest sell in history! No, this is a buy about a guy who the doorman to Superstardom says, “Hey, man, I can just hold the door open for you, you don’t need to keep knocking.” That man standing at the door to Superstardom for some time is Alex Kirilloff.
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Yesterday, Hunter Brown (2/3 IP, 9 ER, ERA at 16.43) reinvented doomscrolling. Doomscrolling is now the act of frantically searching your fantasy teams to see if you have Hunter Brown anywhere. I literally dropped him the day before this start to pick up Brandon Marsh and now I am forever indebted to Brandon Marsh. I will be sending Brandon Marsh a ham for Christmas. I won’t even make a bad pun on the attached card wishing him a Happy Christmarsh.
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Yesterday, was National Sibling Day and Josh Naylor (2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer) and Bo Naylor (2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer) showed us what it means to be a brother. A brother’s bond is an unshakeable promise to always be there for each other. I can think of two sets of Gallagher brothers alone that show this: Liam and Noel Gallagher, who found an Oasis in the desert of 90’s rock, and Leo and Ron Gallagher, who showed us there was room on a watermelon for more than one sledgehammer.
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
The Orioles are calling up Jackson Holliday. To back up Ramon Urias? To work on fielding drills with Jorge Mateo? I don’t get it. He wasn’t ready 11 games ago, but he’s ready now? Hunh, weird stuff, right? So, Jackson Holliday is going to be a star.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Framber Valdez is out with a sore elbow. Feel a bit like I’m living in a Twilight Zone, where I say in the preseason, “Don’t draft (pitcher’s name) because they were injured last year or just so awful last year they must’ve been injured,” then everyone ignores that and pretends that a player’s injury is […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?It’s hard to not sound like a prick when discussing starters who I clearly said to avoid who are now injured. I could say something kind like, “Hey, who could’ve seen this coming? Not me, man! Totally out of nowhere! Wow, Shane Bieber needs Tommy John surgery? Crazy! Was he even hurt last year? He was? I had no idea! A 60-day IL stint last year due to his elbow? That is crazy! I am learning that for the first time!”
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
“Hello, Personalize Any Jersey Emporium, you’ll make anything I want, right? Okay, great. So, I will provide you a Royals jersey, but on the back I want the name, Middleton, and on the front I’d like a cartoon drawing of the Princess of Wales Catherine aka Kate Middleton
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
It’s Double Dong Day at Jake Burger’s! “Burger dongs,” he said thoughtfully, “That was what Dan Schneider made me say on the set of Good Burger while I massaged his shoulders.” Former host of Double Dare, Marc Summers shuddered, continuing, “I never want to hear that or ‘I don’t know’ again.” He looked up at […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I am stubborn, but not so stubborn that I can’t admit a mistake. I wanted to watch Cole Ragans (6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 1.46) and be honest with myself if I thought it was a mistake calling him overrated in the preseason. I didn’t want to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?You In January, “You ranked Bryce Harper where? At 11th overall? I feel like, and don’t take this the wrong way, but you might’ve hit your head and unleashed another part of your brain that most people hide. Let’s call it, The Stupid Brain. And by you unleashing The Stupid Brain, it’s caused you to do stupid things. Like the Bryce Harper ranking. If you didn’t hit your head and you think The Stupid Brain is actually your The Smart Brain, let me be the first person to say, no, it’s absolutely stupid.
Please, blog, may I have some more?