Anibal Sanchez picks up the win is something I never thought I’d get to write again. I haven’t owned him since 2016, but my ERA and WHIP still haven’t recovered. Well, the Aniballer is back and he shut down the Chicago Cubs Friday night pitching six innings, allowing just three hits, no runs and a walk while punching out six for his first win. He’s now rocking a sultry 1.29 ERA and 1.21 WHIP with a 14/5 K/BB rate through two starts. Not amazing, but a whole lot more amazinger than the 6.41 ERA, 1.59 WHIP he put up last year in 28 games. Oh bah gawd, the WHIP! It burrrns! My favorite thing about Anibal is that his ESPN profile page has a pic of him in a Twins hat, a team which, to my knowledge, he has never played for. Hmm, suspect. Clearly, we cannot fully trust Sanchez just yet but two straight quality road starts against two of the leagues best offenses has got me #tbt’ing to 2013 Anibal! That was Sanchez’ best year statistically and 2 years before the cold, sad, crushing, harshness of the city of Detroit damaged his psyche irreparably. It may not be Miami, but Anibal is in Atlanta now, and they do have Migos. Also, it’s the National League which is a better place than any to revive your career. Sanchez has a fairly nice match up at home versus the Phillies next week and I might take a chance seeing if I can rebottle some of those good ol’ fashioned 2013 Anibalic K-Roids I used to get on the streets of the ‘Roit. B Rabbit sold them to me. April has always been Sanchez’ best month statistically so if you’re going to buy now might be the time. Anibal’s available almost everywhere and he’s at the very least worth watching as he tries to win back our trust in Atlanta. Maintain Aniballer status, and maybe I’ll consider streaming you next week. I won’t tell my ratios if you don’t.

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Preston Tucker – 2-for-4, 3-run HR (3). The homers are cool and all, Tuck–can I call you, Tuck? Nah? Okay, the home runs are cool, Preston, but I need you to start sucking hard so I can see Ronald Acuna in my outfield by the end of the weekend. Like really tank it, 2015-2016 Braves style. Can you do that? Ty bb.

Ryan Flaherty – 3-for-5. Speaking of Braves style–Flaherty is 2018’s new hottest middle infielder pick up right now *holds hands over mouth like Stefon* He’s got everything: hits, a couple steals, uhh, a .484 BABIP, err *cough* ahem, and even a BUY from Grey who said quote, “He’s already cooled off from his scorching start, and he kinda sucks.” That’s high praise, folks!

Vince Velasquez – 6.2 IP, 4 hits, ER, BB, 7 K. Vinny Velasquez is my prototypical pitcher. All the Ks. All the BBs. All the upside. All the heart attacks. This could be the year VV breaks out and when he does my ratios will thank me after all those years of abuse.

Jacob Faria – 5.1 IP, 2 hits, ER, 2 BB, 7 K. I trust Jacob just as Faria as I can throw him! Zing! But seriously, he’s gotta be better than his 8.18 ERA, 1.91 WHIP. If someone abandoned ship after he was obliterated by the Sawx I’d grab him for his start versus Tejas next week.

Justin Bour – 2-for-4, HR (3), 2 RBI. His third homer in three days, batting .208. He’s their star player. It’s Marlins Beisbol, folks! It’s just sad. Maybe they should market it this way. 2018 Marlins: Sad baseball, for sad b o y e s and emos! Get hooked! 1-800–SAD-BALL Take it away, Logic! “I just want a lossssss! I just want a loooo-osssss! I just want to lose today/I don’t want to be goooo-ooood!”

J.B. Shuck – 4-for-4, 2 run. One of just four players with a four hit team debut in ever! Awww shucks, Shuck! I reckon dat right ‘dere is purdy darned impursive. I do declare.

Adam Ottavino – 0.2 IP, 2 K. BUY. When dat girl u lik text u back “kk” n then u kno she feelin u. Yeah, owning Ottavino is kinda like that.

Carlos Gonzalez – 2-for-3, HR (3), 2 RBI. So CarGo hasn’t exactly had the resurgence I’d hoped for so far as he’s batting just .255/.278/.510. But the 3 homers and 9 RBI ain’t peanuts and cracky jacks. Gonzalez does most his damage in the summer anyway. To review: own Anibal Sanchez in April, Carlos Gonzalez in July. What about the other months!? Idk! Keep reading?

Yadier Molina – 2-for-4, HR (5), 3 RBI. Yade Dade, he likes to pahtay. Molina’s slashing .288/.296/.596 with 5 homers and 11 RBIs. He’s the best fantasy catcher hands down! Ezzz. Which is kinda like being the best Hobbit movie.

Luke Weaver – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, BB, 7 K, 2nd win. Hey, speaking of hobbits– Luke Star Wars! Come at me, nerds! Rebel deserter and all-around holographic dude Weaver now holds a jedi-like 2.08 ERA and 0.98 through three starts. The force is strong with this one, Dumbledore!

Bud Norris – 1.0 IP, 1 hit, BB,  3 K, SV (2). “I wouldn’t trust Greg Holland either, Skip!” –Bud Norris owners, probably

Devin Mesoraco – 2-for-4, HR (1), 2 RBI. LOL @ your catcher.

Jordan Mongomery – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 3 ER, 4 K. I have trouble fully buying in on JoMo, and its not just because he pitches in the AL-East or that he’s on a trash team or that his team is garbage or that I’m-not-biased-that-team-is-legit-traaaash, it’s something else.

Aroldis Chapman – 1.0 IP, 3 K, SV (2). When dat girl u lik text u back “kkk.” Then u kno she racist.

Aaron Hicks – 3-for-3, 2 HR (2), 3 RBI. He was almost the lede, folks! Tryna get all those sweet NYC City clicks. Two home runs including a inside-the-parker off the DL. Were you even hurt, bro!? Now you have my attention, Django. Trash team’s aside, the trash man himself, Aaron Hicks is worth an add everywhere he’s still available simply due to sheer proximity to Big Sexy, Judge, Grego and Garry.

Eduardo Rodriguez – 6.0 IP, 5 hit, ER, BB, 8 K, W. I’m not a homah or anything but I really think the Sawx could go 160-2, guy. No one denies this.

Eduardo Nunez – 2-for-4, HR, (2), 3 RBI. Whata night for Eduardos!

Steven Matz – 5.1 IP, 3 hits, 3 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, 2 HR, W. Mr. Matz has been just good enough to be owned in even shallow leagues and just bad enough to make owning him scary on the ol’ erra. I like Matz a lot, but I have a hard time believing he will often pitch deep enough into games to get wins, but I like him.

Todd Frazier – 3-for-4, 2 HR (2). The Mets have such a make shift line up of players you never really want to own but end up winning the whole darn thing for you. Frazier is that guy. Gonzalez, Reyes, Bruce, Cabrera are the other that guys.

Aledmys Diaz – 2-for-4, HR (4), 3 RBI, SB (1). A BUY! The slam & legs! In Canada, they cover it with curds and gravy, budday! New year, new team, new love? It’s fake love, Canada Drake. The fantasy expert waters are a bit luke warm on Aledmys, partially because he has yet to take a walk this year, but I say why walk when you can run (he stole a base) and hit dingers!

George Springer – 2-for-4, 2 HR (3). Springer about to Sprung! Top 10! Lezgooo!

Gerrit Cole – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, BB, 14 K. Gerrit did his best Parzival impression and logged into the OASIS striking out 14 Rangers using only his Ultra Low Latency VR Goggles, touch-sensitive power glove, and borderline obsessive knowledge of 80s pop culture. I hope you’re ready, player one. Imma bout to strike you out with John Hughes references.

Cole Hamels – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 7 K. When ur not even the best Cole pitching in Tejas anymore.

Joey Gallo 1-for-4, HR (4). 3 strikeouts. Has now struck out 17 times this year, which is nothing compared to Giancarlo’s 25, but still. He’s basically like Stanton except Gallo still hits home runs. JK, Michael, I will always love you.

Andrew Heaney – 5.0 IP, 7 hits, 3 ER, BB, 7 K.  Putting on a Shohei? Believe it or not, Andrew Heaney was almost the lede but I couldn’t think of a headline then he had one bad inning and I went “Nah” real quick like the second half of a Drake meme. Still through the first four innings I was like the first half of a Drake meme. He has a rough match up with the Red Sox next week but if he survives that I’m all aboard the post-post-post-post-POST hype sleeper train for Heaney. Get on while there’s room before Shohei fans buy out all the seats.

Albert Pujols – 2-for-5, HR (3), 3 RBI. Ungrateful millenials and their smart apps and snap phones. Alby taught Shohei everything he knows. Back in Pujols’ day, sluggers slugged and pitchers pitched. These days, these look-at-me glory hogs with their showboating and their high 90s heaters, curveballs that would break Steph Curry’s ankles, ninja batspeed and see-ya-later slams. They’re disrespecting the game! Smh.

Shohei Ohtani – 2-for-4, run. Sho. Hei. Oh. Tani. Say it with me, Jerry! “SHO-HEI OHTANNNNI!!!!” I asked Grey if I could write a weekly post where I just gush about Shohei for 2000 words. I don’t think he’s getting my emails. You may have noticed I slyly snuck in some Shohei love into the Pujols blurb, I’m almost done with my Ohtani comic. It combines concepts and scenes from your favorite mangas with the DH, SP we all know and are falling dangerously more in love with by the game. About to start a Facebook Petition page urging the Sciosciapath to finally bat Ohtani next to Trout. He belongs beside the best in the world. I’ll give it another week.

Keynan Middleton – 1.0 IP, 1 hit, BB, SV (3). That’s a save! That’s a BUY! That’s a player you should pick up quicker than a Shohei fastball if you need saves.

Ian Kinsler – 3-for-4, 2 SB (2). He’s no Shohei (last reference I swear), but he’s got four hits, a home run and two steals in just two games since returning from the DL. Those are Shohei numbers, folks. (I lied!) He’s leading off for one of the hottest teams in baseball, and the Angels seem like they have something special going right now. *cough Mike Trout cough* The last time the Angels were a special team we got rally monkeys and thunder sticks. Probably the two worst things about baseball in the early 2000s. Let’s not make the same mistake twice.

Tyson Ross – 6.0 IP, 7 hits, 0 ER, BB, 5 K. Ty has always been a true Hodgepadre at heart. Why did you ever leave to go to Tejas of all places. No wonder you’ve been hurt. The 3.50 ERA is meh but 14/4 K/BB is more “oh ok, now I see.” Overall 7/10 Will stream again.

Franchy Cordero  1-for-4, HR (2). Sacre bleu, Franchy! Grey told you to BUY then he hits homers! That’s how this fantasy advice thing works. Too bad I’m just finding this out now!

Mitch Haniger – 2-for-4, HR (3), 4 RBI. Even thinking about writing a blurb about makes me sleepy. Or it could be those two ambien I just took. Zzz?

Khris Davis – 2-for-4, 2 HR, (4), 3 RBI. Kish Davish! The power Khris compels me! The power of Khris compels me!

Andrew Triggs – 5.0 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 4 K. I always confuse Triggs and Tyler Skaggs, probably cause they’re medicocre-ish AL West pitchers and I’ve streamed them both. Sometime I plan on going with Triggs but then at the last minute I Skaggs. Keeps my opponents off-guard.

Matt Chapman – 2-for-4, HR (5). “But can he get on base?” asks Brad Pitt Moneyball meme. Who cares as long as he’s hitting ding dongs! Also, memes can talk!? My dream! It’s really happening.

Zack Greinke – 6.1 IP, 5 hits, 4 ER, BB, 7 K, first win. Owning Grienke, I feel like I’m living in A Quiet Place watching his starts. I’m like cool-guy Jim from the Office turned bearded dad hunk, tip-toeing around the first five innings/50 minutes and everything is going just fine and I’m married to babe Emily Blunt then all of a sudden a giant unexplained, hard-to-see monster comes out and destroys my ERA and WHIP in the 6th and errybody is literally speechless. Oh no wait–was that a spoiler? Shhhh! Oh, no was that?! Not shhh? err, maybe I should just be quiet…or not!? I don’t know!

Cody Bellinger – 3-for-5, HR (2). OK, so he’s a little bit off his homer per-game pace of 2017, but it’s still early. In fact, he wasn’t called up till late April so this time last year he still had yet to even hit a big league home run, so there’s that! Hmm. I’m just not going to say anything and will assume/hope the Dodgers can fix this quickly somehow by throwing money at it.

Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!

  1. Malicious Phenoms says:

    Ah, the Friday night re-cap from Mr Dan Pants. Now that’s the ticket!’

    Well done monsieur..

  2. Swick says:

    If you had to choose 1 who would you take bud Norris or devenski? Saves LG


    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:

      @Swick: Norris for saves, devenski for everything else

  3. Jon says:

    Drop one (5×5 scoring): Ian Kennedy, Andrew Heaney, Miles Mikolas

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:

      @Jon: kennedy

  4. MAtt says:

    Pick 2 to have in a weekly head to head please:

    Mikolas, Faria, Sanchez, Kennedy, Heaney

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:

      @MAtt: Faria and Mikolas

  5. Also Dan says:

    Dan Pants,

    Great stuff per usual.

    My team could use some more pop. I’m thinking about offering Jose Ramirez for J.D. Martinez or maybe Blackmon in my 12 team head to head league. Do you see any reason I should shop Ramirez for some more power, or should I hold him and let the season play out?

    Here’s my squad on offense…

    Chris Ianetta
    Chris Taylor
    Jose Ramirez
    Trea Turner
    Joey Gallo
    Trey Mancini
    Chris Taylor
    Lorenzo Cain
    Christian Yelich (DL)
    Mike Zunino (DL)
    Josh Reddick
    Jed Lowrie (Will drop once Yelich returns)


    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:

      @Also Dan: If you can swap Jose Ramirez for JD or Blackmon I’d do it

  6. Matt says:

    Drop 1: Kinnedy or Foltynewicz?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:

      @Matt: Folty

  7. Marti says:

    Rcl league which side KERSHAW for abreu and Luis castillo

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:

      @Marti: Kershaw but its fair

  8. Oddball Herrera says:

    So I have to disagree with the suggestion that Haniger is boring. Not even at 600PA yet and he has a 120 wRC+. I see a guy who can hit .270 with 30+ HR, who was basically free off waivers, that’s not boring to me.

    • LeMaster of My Domain says:

      @Oddball Herrera: just ready to post a similar thought, OH. Late round flier or WW pickup? I’ll take that, so far.
      As always, thanks Dan… nicely done and a refreshing change of pace.

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:

      @Oddball Herrera: I mean no disrespect. Boring does not mean he’s not valuable. I own him everywhere. Just kind of meh on the fact that I do, then again, could be the ambien talking..

  9. Hepcat13 says:

    Trade offer, Yahoo 12 team h2h 5×5
    Which side wins for ROS?

    Luis Castillo for S. Souza Jr.


    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:

      @Hepcat13: I’d want Castillo

  10. Seth Swirsky says:

    would you trade Steven Matz for Chris Ianetta? i’m in a 5 x5 12-team mixed league. i have greinke, arietta, gio and Skaggs. 2-ctacher league. i have lucky and i can’t stomach Chirinos. help! thx!!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:

      @Seth Swirsky: I’d probably hold. I like Ianetta but not enough to give up anything for him in a trade

      • Seth Swirsky says:

        @Dan Pants: thanks dan–last question: i’m being offered trey mancini for matt albers. i’m loaded in the OF, but i also think Hader will send up closing real soon. make that trade? (oh, and i have treinin, doolittle and morrow).

  11. Scrapski says:

    Nicely ironed out, Pants!
    5×5 Roto:
    Aledmys Diaz?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:

      @Scrapski: No pleats! I’d want Diaz

  12. Bobby's world says:

    Howdy Dan pants!! Is there a two start palooza write up this season? I know seasons past the write up was on Saturdays

    Anyways; roster wise would you drop any of these: Jackie Bradley jr, zach cozart (2b/SS), chris owings (2b/SS/OF), Brandon belt , or joe panik. To add any of these available bats?

    Carlos Gonzalez, curtis granderson, joe mauer, nick senzel, Colin Moran, solarte (2b/SS/3b),
    howie Kendrick (2b/OF), Cesar Hernandez, Michael Brantley, Adrian Gonzalez, or Lewis brinson?

    FYI here are my starters:

    1b: hosmer

    2b: moncada

    3b: alex Bregman (3b/SS)

    SS: correa

    IF: panik

    OF we start 4

    OF: Bryce Harper
    OF: benintendi
    OF: polanco
    OF: Dexter fowler

    DH: Hanley Ramirez who may gain 1b eligibility soon

    Utility Brandon belt
    Utility Eduardo nunez (SS/OF/3b)

    Bench: willie Calhoun, acuna, Todd Frazier, Scott kingery, zack cozart (2b/SS), Jackie Bradley jr, chris owings (2b/SS/OF), and Ohtani. This is espn so Ohtani is listed in both my bench as bat & pitcher , I only get points when I start him for that particular category this week I started him as pitcher I will only get points for his SP not his hitting stats.

    — this is H2h pts/ weekly / redraft

    Thanks man!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:

      @Bobby’s world: Might drop panik or cozart or owings to stash senzel for now

  13. b the esq. says:

    Trade question….

    His Contreras and Springer for my Hoskins and Boxberger.

    Normally sounds straight forward, however, it’s a keeper. 5 keepers in the first 5 rounds, then up to 5 under our rookie rules. If I kept Springer, he would have to be a top 5 round pick. I already have 5 relatively elite guys. Rhys would be a last round pick next year, then move up 5 rounds each year, so 5 years of Hoskins…

    Thoughts? Thanks!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:

      @b the esq.: I’ll take Rhys in last round

  14. Chris says:

    Thanks Mr Pants!

    I’m in a 12 team roto league 10 cats, this is my staff:

    Odorizzi and Trevor Williams are on My bench. Williams has two home against Col and at Philly. Odorizzi has two home against Clev and @TB. Quintana is at Col and Reynaldo is home vs Houston each with one. Clevinger is at Baltimore.

    Two questions:
    1. Was that a fluke for Quintana today? Man I hope so!!
    2. Would you start Trevor Williams or Odorizzi over any of those other guys?


    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:

      @Chris: Prob just a fluke for quintana but I might bench him next week with his only start being at Coors. I’d start williams over Quintana next week.

      • Chris says:

        Thanks! Tough to sit him but I think you might be right!

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