Well, the non-waiver trade deadline has come and gone, and now those of us who have unrealistically been hoarding relief pitchers praying for some of them to end up at the back end of their team’s bullpens can sort through our rosters and go on with our lives. (Sure, there will most likely be a few more moves made before the “real” trade deadline, but I’m going to throw caution to the wind and finally dump David Hernandez in the leagues I’ve been holding him!) Since those of you in deep leagues have most likely already figured out that fellows like Austin Meadows (now up to 35% owned in CBS leagues), Tyler O’Neill (22%), Ken Giles (40%), and even Jose LeClerc (20%) may have had a serious value spike based on moves that have been made, we’re going to do some extra-deep digging this week. All of the players listed today are owned in 5% or fewer of CBS leagues, so this will truly be an ultra-deep league group (but if you have comments or questions of the slightly-less-insanely-deep variety, throw them out there – it’s always fun to remember what it’s like to have actual options in the (oxymoron alert!) “real” fantasy baseball world.)Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Preston Tucker to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
I thought about going with “Yadda Yadda Yadier” as the title for this week’s rant, but I used that line last week when discussing the top catcher in fantasy baseball points leagues. While I would only be stealing from myself I wanted something new. If only Molina had homered three times last night this would have been perfect. I still think it’s good enough, and good enough is good enough for me. Speaking of “good enough”, Yadier Molina has been far better than good enough. In fact, he has been fantastic. The dude’s got 6 home runs, 16 runs batted in, a .316 batting average and 2 stolen bases to boot! With 69 points Yadier is in a league of his own at the catching position. Eat your hearts out Gary Sanchez owners! While you were busy drafting Sanchez in the third round I drafted Manny Machado. And when I drafted Molina in the 12th, you were stuck taking Paul DeJong.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Introducing the interrobang list! (You’ll find it at the bottom of the top 100.) What’s an interrobang you may be asking yourself? An interrobang essentially is a hybrid of a question mark and an exclamation point. When someone says something like “What in the world?!” You can save yourself some space and use the interrobang. “Okay cool, weirdo — how does this apply to fantasy baseball?” The interrobang list at the bottom are a few guys who didn’t make the Top 100 list proper, but are still people that are making me go “?!”Please, blog, may I have some more?
Charlie Morton aka Ground Chuck was playing “Hamburger Patty Cake” with the Mariners yesterday — 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, 0 walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 0.72, WHIP at 0.88. Ground Chuck said, “I’m A-1, try to ketchup.” Then he took a long pull off his Jamaican meat patty, and continued to speak in food allusions, “I’m topped by Monterey Jack, you’re whack.” Ground Chuck cracked his knuckles, “I make you so gay, you try to find Ground Chuck on Grindr.” Then, after a pause, “Gay, as in happy, but no judgments.” Finally, concluding, “If the Babe had a kid named Chris, then Ruth’s Chris still ain’t got shizz on Morton’s.” Charlie Morton sounds a bit cocky there, but he has every reason to be. In the preseason, I said, “A pitcher that goes through life as an also-ran to turn it around in his 30’s is rare. One other guy comes to mind, his name rhymes with Bitch Chill. Anyhoo, I’m buying into Morton’s transformation. How about a late-in-career transformation we call The Caitlyn Jenner? No? Okay.” And that’s me quoting me! One thing I did not understand at all was why there were so many skeptics on Morton this preseason. It was as if they ignored all of his previous season, and did not watch him in the playoffs. Ground Chuck is Salisbury Steak’ing his claim as a top five starter. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Preston Tucker is on pace for 32 home runs, 129 runs batted in and a .278 batting average. I realize that the whole “on pace” argument three weeks into the season holds about as much water as a bottle with a hole in the bottom of it, but the point is that he is off to a very good start. Unexpected? I think so. After spending all of 2017 in AAA fixing flat tires for the Astros, he was traded to the Braves in the offseason where he would hopefully have the opportunity to play in the Majors. Ok, maybe he didn’t fix any flats, but he did hit 24 home runs in 569 plate appearances. Perhaps the Astros felt they were one Tucker over the limit considering they also had Preston’s younger brother Kyle in the organization. Kyle also happens to be their top hitting prospect. When the front office gave him the news I hope he said “Tucker out” as he exited the meeting.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Anibal Sanchez picks up the win is something I never thought I’d get to write again. I haven’t owned him since 2016, but my ERA and WHIP still haven’t recovered. Well, the Aniballer is back and he shut down the Chicago Cubs Friday night pitching six innings, allowing just three hits, no runs and a walk while punching out six for his first win. He’s now rocking a sultry 1.29 ERA and 1.21 WHIP with a 14/5 K/BB rate through two starts. Not amazing, but a whole lot more amazinger than the 6.41 ERA, 1.59 WHIP he put up last year in 28 games. Oh bah gawd, the WHIP! It burrrns! My favorite thing about Anibal is that his ESPN profile page has a pic of him in a Twins hat, a team which, to my knowledge, he has never played for. Hmm, suspect. Clearly, we cannot fully trust Sanchez just yet but two straight quality road starts against two of the leagues best offenses has got me #tbt’ing to 2013 Anibal! That was Sanchez’ best year statistically and 2 years before the cold, sad, crushing, harshness of the city of Detroit damaged his psyche irreparably. It may not be Miami, but Anibal is in Atlanta now, and they do have Migos. Also, it’s the National League which is a better place than any to revive your career. Sanchez has a fairly nice match up at home versus the Phillies next week and I might take a chance seeing if I can rebottle some of those good ol’ fashioned 2013 Anibalic K-Roids I used to get on the streets of the ‘Roit. B Rabbit sold them to me. April has always been Sanchez’ best month statistically so if you’re going to buy now might be the time. Anibal’s available almost everywhere and he’s at the very least worth watching as he tries to win back our trust in Atlanta. Maintain Aniballer status, and maybe I’ll consider streaming you next week. I won’t tell my ratios if you don’t.
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Two days ago, Justin Bour hit 2 home runs against the New York Mets. Prior to that game, though, Bour had 6 hits in 37 at-bats with 1 run scored and 1 RBI. As a result, my inbox was inundated with questions regarding Bour and the ownership percentage in ESPN leagues went down 13.4% to 59.1%. My inbox wasn’t inundated with questions regarding Bour. That honor goes to the Nigerian prince that continues to profess his willingness to help out society by giving everyone money. The decrease in ownership, though, was indeed real. Is it warranted? The plate discipline numbers seem fine. Bour is swinging a little less than normal, but the contact rates are in line. The batted ball profile is where things are out of whack. More ground balls, fewer line drives, more infield pop ups, less hard contact, tons of soft contact, and more hits to the opposite field. No surprise then that the BABIP is .200 and batting average is .190. The strikeout rate of 22.2% is close to the career average, but the walk rate of 6.7% is well below the 10% career average.Please, blog, may I have some more?
For thousands of millennia, which is millions of years, Samoans were a persecuted people, due to their big bones. One Samoan, Fa’a’la’a’la’la’la told one reporter, “If you ordered a flank steak, and got a thick ribeye, you’d be so pleased,” then Fa’a’la’a’la’la’la got choked up, “But if you order a five-foot, six-inch man and get a 485-pound man wearing a grass skirt, you make fun.” However, through all this ridicule, the Samoans always had their main industry on the island. An industry that sustained their people. An industry that brought everyone together. However, this industry has taken a hit this last year. This industry is manufacturing tiki torches. Fa’a’la’a’la’la’la said, “Now tiki torches make us racist?! We’re big-boned Islanders, we can’t be racist!” Now, the Samoan people may have had their torches snuffed, but have a new bright spot: Sean Manaea. He’s not big-boned and he has no apostrophes in his last name, but I can assure you he is Samoan. He’s also a straight dazzlenozzle so far this year. His command is at a minuscule 0.6 K/9, and his xFIP is 3.40. His velocity is a little off, and his Ks haven’t been outstanding, but in the early going, with pitching as it’s been, I’d buy Manaea everywhere. If not for him, do it for Fa’a’la’a’la’la’la. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I don’t know about you, but I’ve found that fantasy baseball has severely impacted my ability to enjoy watching my “real” baseball team. I became a fairly obsessive Dodger fan when I was a kid, and I can remember my daily mood being severely impacted by whether my team won or lost that day. Cut to a couple few years (okay, decades) later, and since I have so few of the (largely overpriced in my opinion) Dodgers on any of my fantasy teams, sometimes I barely know if they won or lost. Of course, I can tell you exactly how the Brewers fare each day, since most of my fantasy teams are chock full of them. I did finally get swept up in a bit of world series fever last year, and watching those games – truly caring about which team won and actually rooting for every Dodger player with no concern as to how it would affect me in fantasy… I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I had watched a major league baseball game that way.
Anyway, I bring this up because I’m feeling weirdly guilty lately over what’s becomes a pretty hot topic in baseball over the last few days, namely, the first-week struggles of one Kenley Jansen. It’s not like I enjoy watching the Dodgers fail, and I certainly wish no ill will towards Mr. Jansen. But I have to admit that’s it’s a bit hard not to revel in watching a fantasy owner feel like he’s made a giant mistake in spending a high draft pick on a closer, since I and most of the Razzball world have preached to folks that it’s, well, a giant mistake to spend a high draft pick on a closer. All this finally brings us to the more specific topic at hand: players that those of us who live in the weird but beautiful deep-league fantasy baseball world might want to take a look at this week. And with that…Please, blog, may I have some more?
I believe in all of my sleepers. Yes, even you, Kevin Gausman, but you need to show some intestinal fortitude and less IBS! However, you can only give your sleepers so much leash if they don’t perform immediately. You need to get a taste of the good stuff early on or you might have to abandon ship. For instance, you go into an ice cream shop and you get a taste of the Rocky Road, but they give you a sample with no marshmallows, no nuts, no fudge swirl — they just give you a taste of chocolate. Dubya tee eff! You have to sample on the swirl! That’s what Patrick Corbin did yesterday, he sampled on the swirl. He went 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 1.38. I gave you a Patrick Corbin sleeper this preseason, and he’s all up on that swirl. Giving his owners a swirly even. Hmm, maybe not that. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Didi, Didi, can’t you see, sometimes your home runs hypnotize me? Or how about, Gre-Gre-Gregorius? Gre-Gre-Gregorius… Gregorius sung by Duran Duran or Biggie work for me. Fun fact! Duran Duran is the past tense of Da Doo Run Run Da Doo Run Run. Bit a of a trivia whiz, though I did need to Google to see if it was spelled whiz or wiz. Did you know Truvia was discovered by someone sniffing artificial sweetener off a Trivial Pursuit card? Any hoo! Didi Gregorius went goofy time, there’s always money in the banana stand, crying at the end of The Last American Virgin but with tears of joy, with himself yesterday — 4-for-4, 3 runs, 8 RBIs and two homers (1, 2). His first homer went 346 feet, which is almost three and half Cespedes. I was way off Didi in the preseason, but that was almost (exactly) five games ago, let’s forget about that! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Today, we take a look at the positional battles for the National League East, a division that is quite emblematic of the US of A. The power and leadership resides in Washington DC. The New York Mets have the money, 11th highest payroll in baseball, but they are not the Yankees. Atlanta. Sorry, I mean Hotlanta, always gets overlooked, but there’s tons of talent down south. We may be seeing lots of non-Native Americans tomahawk chopping on TV very soon. Philadelphia is usually in the shadow of New York. Well, the Eagles won the Super Bowl, so suck on that New Yorkers. I kid. There’s tons of young talent on the Phillies, especially on the pitching side, but they will continue to play in the shadow of their brethren to the east. Miami. This is where things break down. A city of opulence and culture, yet the Marlins sold off all their assets like a Pookie crackhead would for one last hit. The only way I can tie this into the US of A analogy is that Miami is located in the state of Florida, a state in which the lawmakers said that porn is dangerous but refused to talk about assault rifles. Ladies and gentlemen, the NL East.
The 2018 Razzball Commenter Leagues are now open! Free to join with prizes! All the exclamation points!Please, blog, may I have some more?