If You Need Speed, Buy Max To Climax

We should start from early biographical details about Max Clark to fully understand him. When he was a young child, he was in a pillow fight with his sister, and she hit him and it had a Mr. T pillowcase, and the last thing Max saw was the embroidered Mr. T chains. When he woke hours later, the first thing he said was, “Chains,” and since then, he’s never gone outside without 17 pounds of chains around his neck. As a child, this drew some looks, because he was only 70-something pounds himself and the chains had him stooped over like the old man in Up. The chains served him well for baseball though, because once he plants his feet, it’s hard to move in the batter’s box, or he’ll fall over. Reach for a pitch in the dirt, and he’s toppling. This helped him stay in vs. the toughest pitchers and he’s become one of the best baseball prospects. This was from a movie about him, From Chains To Let It Rains, The Max Clark Story. So, Max Clark is tearing up the minors and should be promoted roughly three weeks ago. Last year, he went 14/19/.271 in the minors with a 16.9 K% and this year in Triple-A, it’s been even better. He could come up tomorrow and be a 15/30/.270 hitter in only five months. If you can stash him, do it now, and join the Chain Gang. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

PSYCHE! This post was released a week early for Patreon members. It will be released all year early for Patreons, so if people are getting a jump on you, it’s because they paid the $10. Anyway, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell:

BUY

Dalton Rushing – I’m Dalton Maxxing And Relaxing. Dalton Chilling. I’m Dalton Stopping To Smell The Flowers. I’m not Dalton Rushing, but I will add him to my fantasy team.

Luke Raley – Hard to find a decent free agent 1st baseman this week. I searched up and down the staircase with Sandy Duncan, and grabbing the Raley.

Miguel Vargas – All Vargas, no brakes, that’s how he hits. It’s also how the entire White Sox team hits. A bunch of little Adam Dunns. A full team of Donkeys.

Ezequiel Duran – She drinks wine by the glass not by the bottle, I just wanna Be Her so bad, it hurts so bad… Sorry, was singing Ella Langley trying to get into the Texas mindset for why Ezequiel should be picked up. What do I have? He’s hot and has more position eligibility than the karma sutra.

Jeremiah Jackson – Jermajesty’s stats for the three weeks he’s filled in for Jackson Holliday are better than any month of Holliday’s career, but, as soon as he returns, they’re gonna put the former top prospect right back in there and Jermajesty’s going to become a platoon player or sent down. You can make this up, but people would think you’re lying.

Oswald Peraza – I don’t want to oversell Peraza — he might just be a hot schmotato; emdash must mean AI — but Peraza’s last MiLB year: 16/25, and he never received a chance in New York, because Boone never gives anyone decent a chance at 3rd. See, Boone was a 3rd baseman in New York and he doesn’t want anyone to shine there. This started with Josh Donaldson’s incredibly terrible years and has moved onto Ryan McMahon.

Brayan Rocchio – He’s been hot (as most players in this post), so don’t take this the wrong way (there’s no right way to take this), but Rocchio’s career numbers prorated to a 162-game season are around 7/9/.225, and how on earth is he over 300 career games? Oh, I guess there’s defense in real baseball. Well, whatever! He’s currently outhitting Bobby Witt Jr., Vinnie Pasquantino and Jac Caglianone combined!

Daniel Schneemann – His last name feels like a half measure. If you’re gonna go with two letters doubled, go with all, Sscchhnneemmaann. Good news is if you grab him, he’s been hot. The bad news is if you have Schneemann and Horwitz on your team, someone’s gonna ask if you filed an extension for their taxes. Oops!

Masyn Winn – This blurb is FTW! For the Winn. Get it? How could you not? It’s pretty obvious.

Isaac Paredes – It’s hard to love Paredes for the last year plus, unless you’re Ethel Merman and marching around with a baton, but hopefully he’s finally coming out of his roughly 14-month drought.

Josh Jung – From the bottom of your boots to the top of your hat…Sorry, was getting back in my Texas mood.

Jake Mangum – He’s been hot, and he earned it in karma this past weekend. A moment went viral with him, and it even expanded my stupid Grinch heart with the flutters.

Jake Mangum spots kid in the crowd, tosses the ball, and her brother catches it and gives it to her. Dudes rock.

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— Razzball (@razzball.bsky.social) April 19, 2026 at 2:13 PM

Everson Pereira – Ya know what always gets a chuckle out of me? On FanGraphs, you look at a guy’s stats, and it’s like,”Oh, wow, he only has a scant sixty games in the majors. Doesn’t even look like he’s played in the minors. I see none there!” Then you realize, the minor league numbers are hidden, you click the button and see the guy’s been playing in the minors since the Carter administration. Goes for this guy and the next.

Carlos Cortes – Carlos only has a 2020 regular season’s worth of MLB games played and he turns 29 in a few weeks. Looks like he might’ve unlocked something last year, and Cortes has been better in his time in the majors, after not being good for many years in the minors. not even unnaturally suppressed down there. He had years of 15/.241 in Triple-A as a 26-year-old and that’s awful. Makes me think once the word is out in the majors on how to get him out, he will be outed.

Leody Taveras – Every year Leody has one ten-day period when he’s the hottest bat on the planet. He missed last year, and took the previous year off, but I swear he’s good for a ten hot days once every three years or so. Anyway, he’s got two days left.

Jonny DeLuca – Had a thought, have the Rays ever had a player reach free agency, and I did some searching, and Longoria was their longest tenured player for the Rays at ten years. He signed a six-year deal for $17.5 million at one point, which is so laughable, even if it was 2008. Any hoo! DeLuca’s played about a year’s worth of games over three seasons, and is mostly one of those LLAMAS.

Dominic Canzone – I love this guy prolly more than is warranted, but, don’t get me wrong, some of it is warranted! Then again, I did this screenshot below for a reason as it includes his Statcast and how he’s out of the lineup:

BTW, if you want the Chrome Browser Extension that adds Statcast to Fantrax, well, click that long-ass link.

Seth Lugo – I like Lugo, in general, but this is also a Streamonator call, like the call it makes to Claude AI.

Foster Griffin – This is also a Streamonator call. “I heard you’re a chatbot. Well, I’m a bot that likes to chat! Hello? Are you still there?”

Brad Keller – I’d be surprised if the Phils have a set closer while Duran is out. It could be Keller, Jose Alvarado, Orion Kerkering, a lucky fan who caught a cheesesteak in their mouth fired from the Phanatic’s t-shirt gun, really anyone.

Ben Brown – Caleb Thielbar felt secure as the fill-in, until he hurt himself on Thursday. As of right now, I have no idea who gets saves for the Cubs. Brown, Hoby Milner, Jacob Webb, Riley Martin, Jim Belushi, could be anyone. You’d think it would have to be Brown now, but thought that previously and they went with Thielbar.

Tanner Scott – It could be Alex Vesia, Will Klein or [shudders] Blake Treinen as the Dodgers’ closer. I don’t think there’s a set order yet, but one could present itself. If Tanner or Vesia or one of the other guys start getting saves, Roberts could become comfortable with them. Too early to say, and it’s still far from a done deal. If Tanner gets a few saves, seems safe, then blows a game or three, he’ll be replaced. So, a closer could emerge in Los Angeles, then Reseda.

Joel Kuhnel – Given this guy a lot of flak for not being better on strikeouts, but he can keep getting saves by asking opposing hitters to knock the ball hard right at his fielders…[intern whispers in ear]…hmm, apparently, you can’t do that. Well, he’s still getting saves. For now.

Louis Varland – Usually give you at least one guy who’s good for middle relief and won’t necessarily get saves, but this week–I’M DOING THE SAME! OR NOT! Gotcha! I don’t know if the Jays will go to Varland for saves, but my guess is they won’t unless Jeff Hoffman is injured. Now, they might make-up a fake injury for him. Either way, Varland has been excellent for middle relief, and looks like one of those early breakouts like Josh Hader very early in his career, or Devin Williams or Abner Uribe–okay, can anyone develop great middle relievers besides the Brewers? (Gus Varland hasn’t been bad either on the Nats. And New Varland is such a lovely respite when outside Rotterdam. Old Varland, though yuck, what’s with all the stupid windmills? Way too much charm! Give me charmless!)

SELL

Jazz Chisholm Jr. – He has a WHOA HUH THAT SEEMS LIKE A HIGH strikeout rate, which is producing a COME AGAIN average? [staggering around like Redd Foxx, clutching heart] What happened to Jazz Chisholm Jr.? Was banking on his contract year, but it’s like someone put a contract out on his fantasy value. He’s got the Snow Miser Statcast:

Is this good chat, he asks as he walks into the ocean, waves lapping over his head. Thankfully, he’s underwater but breathing through a straw, until a little kid pinches the top of the straw so he can’t breathe. I have problems with xBA but an xBA of .167?! WHAT?! Sell lows suck, so I wouldn’t sell too low, but something is clearly off here. I wouldn’t sell Jazz for a dimebag of oregano, but I would go to the Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options.