Not quite done deal just yet, but it’s looking like Josh Hamilton is heading home on the Rangers, as the Angels have agreed to paid the majority of Hamilton’s giant contact in exchange for Hamilton agreeing to get the heck out of Dodge. The trade would certainly qualify as Woody’s rootin-est, tootin-est, roundup in the wild, wild west so far this season. The least cynical of all my multiple personalities would certainly like to believe if Josh Hamilton can get back on track anywhere, it’d be with the Rangers in Texas. Yee-haw, we’ve hog-tied us a Hamilton! As a Rangers fan, you’ve got to be happy with any news that doesn’t concern Adrian Beltre’s age, Yu Darvish’s injury, Prince Fielder’s weight, or Elvis Andrus’ suckiness. In five years with Texas, Josh Hamilton batted .305 with 142 home runs and over 500 RBI, including his 2010 MVP season where he hit 32 homers and bat .359 with a .633 SLG%. Well, howdy there, partner! However, Josh managed just 32 homers and a .255 AVG in two injury-riddled seasons with Anaheim. The LA air just wasn’t agreeing with him. It was the traffic wasn’t it? Yeah, well, you deal with it because the weather is perfect and the tacos are awesome. Currently on the shelf recovering from shoulder surgery, J-Hammies is due back sometime in June and is available in most leagues. I grabbed him in a few leagues where I had a DL spot to spare, and I’d suggest you do the same. Here’s to hoping he can recapture some of the thrill, the romance and the magic that those hot summer nights in Texas can bring to the bat.
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:
CJ Cron – 3-for-4, run. Has Cron got it going on? With the possible Hamilton trade, CJ shouldn’t see any dip in playing time, and despite his slow start he’s starting to show signs of life again. I’m watching him like the season premiere of Game of Thrones–bootlegged and streaming on my iPod nano. If you squint hard enough you can still see bewbz.
Garrett Richards – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, 3 BB, 5 K and his first win. Y U no K no more? K more, Garrett! K?
Gerrit Cole – 7.2 IP, 7 hits, 1 ER, 2 BB, 7 K. I like to put the Garrits back-to-back to ensure I spell at least one of their names wrong. Now this is the Cole I drafted and stashed three months early two years ago. Welcome to my fantasy, GC. Remember I’m always watching you.
Yasmany Tomas – 1-for-3, SB. Grey told you to BUY, and yes, I’d pick him up! But I’m also a certified psychopath, just ask Dr. Reid! Mwahaha! That’s my evil laugh, I switched from gwah-has to mwah-has because I’ve found it makes people more uneasy.
James Loney – 2-for-5, HR (1), 2 RBI as he returned from the DL. I’ve always felt if you own Loney on your fantasy team you’ve given up. But, I’m starting to rethink this. Have you ever had crippling depression, you guyz? Sometimes you just need to be sad, and sometimes you just need a corner man. Loney should be good for average and should see plenty of playing time. Also, the Rays absolutely destroyed the Jays and scored 12 runs on 13 hits, so why don’t we just assume it was because of James Loney.
Devon Travis – 1-for-4, HR (5). Simply Devon! He’s 100% owned now. We did it!
Drew Smyly – 4.2 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, 5 K. The Emoticon returned to drop a nice little winky faced ghost/knife/eggplant emoji on the Jays. The Rays played it safe (he threw just 79 pitches) with Smyly, but he looks like he’ll be a more than capable mixed league starter going forward.
Jordan Zimmermann – 6.0 IP, 2 ER, 4 K. There’s the Zimmermann we know and love!
Mat Latos – 6.1 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, BB, 4 K. There’s the Latos we know and…well, you know.
Steve Cishek – 1.0, SV (1). People are dropping Steve because he’s pitched like Cishek so far. That’s just his way! Pick him back up, people, you’re drunk. *Fantasy Pro Tip* don’t drop closers that are closers.
Denard Span – 0-for-3, run, SB (1). I mention the Span-aconda because he’s owned in little over half of fantasy leagues and should be owned in all of them. You don’t have to be a rock scientist to figure that out. It’s igneous, ya’ll!
Danny Salazar – 7.0 IP, 6 hits, ER, 3 BB, 11 K and his second win. *drools* Darn, I really wish I didn’t drop you week one. He’s got a 21/5 K/BB rate in 13.0 IP. I would love him a lot more if I owned him anywhere. #peanutbutterandjealous
Shane Greene – 4.0 IP, 9 hits, 8 ER, 2 BB, K. The Regression Fairies finally paid Greene an overdue visit. The fairy told him, “Hey Listen! You can use the C arrows to change your view and Z to target!” But Shane was playing a hacked emulation of the game and his controls were all messed up. Oh well, he gets the Twinkies next week and I’d start with confidence.
Brandon Moss – 3-for-5, 2 HR (3), 7 RBI. The Injians had themselves a good ol’ fashioned, hometown, community pow-wow. Michael Brantley had 3 hits, and Jason Kipnis, Lonnie Chisenhall, Jose Ramirez and David Murphy all had two hits as the Injians scores 13 runs on 15 hits. A rolling Brandon Moss has got some serious stones.
Alex Wood – 5.2 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, K. I’m sure Wood owners were hard as oak looking at this match up but Alex failed to really impress me. The 1.50 WHIP and low strikeout numbers are a bit disconcerting as well, not to mention a little yawnstipating. “Hmm, I bore of this… Guards, bring me Danny Salazar. I grow tired of this pedestrian pitching performance.” “Yes, m’lord!”
Aaron Harang – 8.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, BB, 6 K. He’s got a 1.37 ERA, 0.80 WHIP and 21 K in four starts. If you observe the Harangutangs in their natural habitat you’ll notice they work very hard in April preparing for summer so they can just relax, scratch their butts and throw poo for the rest of the season.
David Ortiz – 2-for-5, 3-run HR (4). My niece sleeps with a plush Big Papi doll instead of a teddy bear. It’s cute and all, sure, but I think she’s developing an unhealthy attraction to Latin men. Especially for a four year old.
Hanley Ramirez – 2-for-5, HR (6). I can’t remember the last time Hanley started a season this hot. Oh wait, yes I can, I have an eidetic memory. In 2008, he finished April with a .333 AVG, 8 homers and 18 RBI in what was arguably his best major league season, and that was in a lineup where Jeremy Hermida bat third. Would you believe I didn’t look any of that up? Well believe this, if he stays healthy, it should fun owning HanRam this season.
Brock Holt – 2-for-4, 3-run go ahead HR (1) in the 8th. BROCK HOLT! With Victorino sidelined Brock Holt looks to be the main beneficiary and should continue to find at-bats in this line up. Holt doesn’t offer much outside of tenacity and the intangibles, but if that’s what your team needs (along with good average and runs) he’s worth a look.
Chris Davis – 1-for-3, HR (3). CHRIS THE DISH! Nobody calls him that!
Michel Pineda – 7.2 IP, 5 hits, ER, 7 K and moves to 3-0. So I missed the boat on Salazar, and Archer, and Odorizzi and Bauer, but I do own Pineda all over the place. So, if anyone is interested in trading let me know.
Jacob deGrom – 5.0 IP, 10 base runners, 6 ER, 2 K. In the first Subway series match up of the year, deGrom got stuck with the stale cookie.
Mark Teixeira – 2-for-4, 2 HR (7), 4 RBI. He’s owned in just over half of ESPN leagues. He’s got seven home runs. ZERO-SEVEN. Yes, you should own him.
Jacoby Ellsbury – 2-for-5, HR (1). Jac with the jack!
Carlos Martinez – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 8 K and his second win. Grey told you to SELL, and what a perfect opportunity off such an encouraging start. If you do your best Don Draper impression and spin this one just right, you can probably land something pretty good in return for the former top prospect, along with finger banging the new secretary. Try not to smoke so much though, it’s really bad for you.
Jason Heyward – 1-for-5, HR (2). A lot of people are complaining that Heyward has been underwhelming, but I think the important thing to remember here is that he’s healthy and for Jason Heyward that’s a pretty good start.
Jhonny Peralta – 3-for-4, HR (2). The silent “h” stands for homer!
Chris Heston – 5.1 IP, 11 hits, 6 ER, BB. 4 K. I saw someone picking him up for this start and thought to myself, “Self, what do I not know about Chris Heston?” Apparently, I know everything I need to know.
Charlie Blackmon – 2-for-5, HR (2). Uh-oh, I’m getting the Blackmon fever again! And no, that has nothing to do with the Taye Diggs poster on my bedroom wall.
DJ LeMahieu – 3-for-4, 2 RBI. Before the game, DJ handed out Molly in the clubhouse, threw his best five NOW That’s What I Call Music CDs into his five disc changer and he and the Rox started cranking out the hits–15 hits to be exact. Too bad none of them remember any of it.
Brandon Belt – 3-for-3, run, RBI. Giants know a little summin’ about the pop charts, and weren’t about to let Colorado have all the fun as they had 12 hits themselves. Coors Field is for everybody, people! Unless you’re a pitcher. Justin Maxwell was 2-for-3 with a 2-run HR (2) and is now 6-for-14 with 4 runs, 2 homers and 5 RBI in the past four games. He could be a nice play this weekend if your in need of an outfielder.
Carl Crawford – 2-for-4, HR (1). Crawford is definitely worth owning if you’re in a fantasy league that gives points for days off.
Zack Greinke – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, 3 BB, 7 K and his third win. “I would still rather own Kershaw.” That’s me quoting Greinke’s girlfriend who is a huge fantasy baseballer. Harsh words, but Zack knows better than anyone, you’d be a fool not to go with Kersh. He’s a better kisser, too.
Yasiel Puig – Left the game after aggravating his hamstring. Sigh, you are such a tease, Yasiel. Call me when you’re ready to commit, I’ll be in Giancarlo’s bushes.
Andrew Cashner – 7.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, BB, 6 K. That’s straight Cashner, homey!
Marcus Semien – 2-for-5, 2-run HR (3) as he led off in the A’s lefty line up. Marcus is not monkeying around, you guyz! Although he does love his bananas. Potassium is good for the brain. He’s hitting .260 with 3 homers and a steal in the past week. One of ESPNs top adds, grab Semien before someone else does.
Dallas Keuchel – 9.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, but Luke Gregerson (1.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER) said, “Not today.” Keuchel’s allowed just 2 runs in 29.0 and is rocking an ERA and WHIP under 1. And that, my friends, is Dallas. Sure, this is a dated referenced and I’m not even sure what it means, but damn it if it doesn’t sound good! And that, is Dallas.
Mike Leake – 7.0 IP, 4 hits 3 ER, BB, 9 K. The Cubbies are proving to be a pretty good streaming opponent, but can’t help the feeling that that’s going to explode in my face once Kris Bryant starts homering every day for the rest of his life.
Jon Lester – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 3 ER, BB, 10 K. Meh. DO BETTER!
Anthony Rizzo – 3-for-4, 2-run HR (2). OK, so he’s definitely hitting under my power projections so far, but the 4 SB are a welcome surprise. It’d be no surprise to me, however, if he hits 10 homers next month though. Calling it!
Billy Hamilton – 2-for-4. 2 runs, 3 SB (12). I was watching the scene in X-Men: Days of Future Past with Quicksilver and couldn’t help but thinking of Hamilton. If they kept him for the whole movie, would there even be a movie? Would it even be fair? Is owning Billy Hamilton even fair? Does anyone really believe that someone would find a naked Jennifer Lawrence unattractive just because she’s blue and scaly? It’s called eczema and it’s kind of a turn on. Also, is Billy Hamilton a mutant? I got questions!
Nelson Cruz – 1-for-3, HR (9). Errtime! ALL HE DOES IS HIT HOME RUNS!
Hisashi Iwakuma – Headed to the DL. Hisashi my dashi…gulp, gulp?
Phil Hughes – 8.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 9 K. Now there’s the Phil Hughes you probably drafted too high. I would still avoid vs Detroit next week if I could, but this was encouraging.
Felix Hernandez – 9.0 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, 9 K and his third win. Match ups don’t get much more favorable than this one and Felix did not disappoint. That’s why he’s the King. If you were a Lord, would you lord good? Felix would. If Felix ruled over Westeros, he would make sure everyone from the slums of Fleabottom to the walls of Castle Black had complete game shut outs in their weekly match ups, and all the strike outs they could eat. Now fetch him some win and wenches. Five wenches and three wins and much strikeouts. Keep them coming. Also, wine. He’s going to need a lot of wine.
Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below, or you can get at me on twitter @dandemanco. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!