Yesterday, the Pirates called up the Frozen Tundra, Andrew Lambo.  The Pirates should trade Lambo to Milwaukee (Green Bay) for Yovani Gallardo (arrr!).  Or give Andrew a whistle and call him Coach Lambo-ardi.  If you’re confused by any of this, you’re not alone.  Rudy came up with the title and then spent twenty minutes on IM explaining it’s football stuff and most people would get it.  Only a real man rocks a mustache and knows what a ronde jambe is but not a Lambeau leap.  (If football is your bag, there’s our fantasy football section of hazarai.)  Lambo’s worth discussing because he has big time power — 31 homers in the minors this year.  Lambo mercy, you’re so power thirsty.  He used to be a top prospect in the Dodgers’ farm system, but was suspended in 2010 due to taking hits from the bong, then never really got started in 2011.  His playing time with the Pirates is debatable at this point — he’ll play; no, he won’t, yes, he will, less filling!  At worst, the Pirates should play him against all righties.  He’s 25 years old, so his upside is limited, but he could be like a Ryan Ludwick-type.  I’d definitely take the flyer in just about any league where you need power, and especially in deep-ish keeper leagues.  Wouldn’t surprise me at all to see him pull a Han Solo and cement himself into the lineup.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Neftali Feliz – Shut down with triceps discomfort.  This is the first sighting in Texas of a Tricepsasaurus since a flood wiped them away two thousand years ago.

Yu Darvish – 8 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 15 Ks.  He should’ve probably been the lede, but, as someone whose English isn’t very good might say, how many times can I spew my man love all over Yu?  Forget George Clooney, Darvish is the sexiest man alive.  There’s a ten page spread about Yu in my magazine that is titled, “No One Really Buys Magazines Anymore But This One You Want To Own Because It’s Fifteen Pages Long With Ten Pages Dedicated to Darvish And Five Pages Dedicated To The Magazine’s Title.”  Darvish will probably be drafted in the top 20 next year, maybe top 15, and I can’t say I disagree, even if I won’t be one drafting him there.  Bee tee dubya, he has 207 Ks and it’s August 13th!

Adrian Beltre – 3-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI.  It’s time for no one’s favorite game except me, What Has Beltre Done Since Grey Traded For Him vs. Choo?  For me, Beltre has:  52/19/56/.350 vs. Choo’s 52/10/22/.255/10.  Like Harrison Ford’s quarter Jewish ancestry — not too shabby!

Jason Castro – Out for the 2nd straight game with a sore hip.  I blame myself for polluting his womb.  He was fine, until I dropped Salvador Perez for Castro.  Next thing you know, Castro’s gonna need two weeks to go help his niece with her back-to-school clothes shopping.  (On a side note, I Googled “jason castro hip” — I don’t mess with caps in Google! — and it turns out there was an American Idol contestant, Jason Castro, who is doing hip-hop.  In about forty years, for every name you Google, there will be an American Idol contestant.)

Brett Oberholtzer – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks.  The Astros are going with a six-man rotation, which surprises me, I didn’t know they had six starters.  Brett gets the Angels in Nowhere Near Los Angeles Anaheim next time out.  Can Oberholtzer continue his success?  Girls said yes, but Grey says no…Remote control!

Coco Crisp – Day-to-day with a sore wrist.  Hopefully, he’s entertaining everyone on the bench with his inspired line readings, because we love Crisp, in glove or not.

Dan Straily – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks.  This was the first time he got out of the fifth inning in his last three starts, which is to say he hasn’t been good.  He gets the Indians at home next, which isn’t an awful start, but I’d be careful, Straily can go either way at this point.

Krispie Young – 1-for-4 and a solo homer with Krispie replacing Crisp, as the Colonel intended it.

Colby Rasmus – Missed yesterday’s game due to a tweaked abdominal.  Too much working out and now he has a sick pack.

Wesley WrightRays acquired him for cash considerations.  In other words, the Rays considered giving the Astros money and decided against it.

Roy Halladay – Will start his rehab assignment on Thursday and could return when rosters expand in September.  Whatevs.  I’m not bothering to stash him anywhere.  In most leagues, what you could get from him is replaceable with streamers.  Stream-o-Nator, “Damn skippy!”

Cole Hamels – 9 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks, throwing 123 pitches and only gave up the one run in the ninth because the Phillies are obviously petrified of Papelbon.  Charlie Manuel said, “You can’t decorate your floor with sawdust and not get some wood shavings in your socks.”

Cody Asche – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (2) and legs (1).  Been really impressed with what I’ve seen so far from this guy, and will put him on the short list of late round corner men I’ll be looking at.  For now, I’d definitely consider him in deep mixed leagues.

Matt Kemp – Shagged balls in the outfield.  Oh, behave!

Hanley Ramirez – Could be out until Friday with his jammed shoulder.  Hanley said, “I’m trying my best to get on the field,” but it was noted he had his fingers crossed.

Jhoulys Chacin – 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.18.  Takes watermelons to start a guy in Coors, but if you did, you were rewarded and not Gallagher’d.

DJ LeMahieu – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (2) and legs (14).  In other words, the DJ mixed together Onyx and ZZ Top.

Nolan Arenado – 4-for-5, 2 runs, 1 RBI.  As Lord & Taylor is my witness, please let Arenado get hotter than Freddy Krueger’s furnace.

Michael Cuddyer – Missed his 2nd straight game with an illness.  Don’t worry, Cuddyer will be Cudbetter soon.

Dexter Fowler – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 4 RBIs.  Meant to mention this the other day, but while I’m thinking of it.  I saw Fowler get picked off easily the other day.  He has 17 steals on the year, but he has 35 steal speed, so something’s off.  I think I’ve figured out, his head’s not in the game.

Aaron Hill – 2-for-4 and his 8th homer and 3rd homer in as many games.  Oh, boy, he’s about to hit 12 homers the rest of the way and end the season with 20, isn’t he?  I’ll be a handsome man!  (That’s the phrase, right?  Yeah, it is.)

Trevor Cahill – Will return this weekend.  Super, great, phony excitement, I’m not going near him.

Adam Eaton – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer, hitting close to .400 in the last week.  Worth a look in all leagues to see if he can make good on some of that upside he hinted at in the preseason.

Matt Wieters – 1-for-3 and his 16th homer as he bats .236.  We’ll see your fantasy value again in six games!

Jenrry Mejia – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Actually, pitched even better than his line indicates, but I’m concerned about his forearm that will need surgery in the offseason.  With that said (yup, the reversal), he goes to Petco next.

Omar Infante – 0-for-2 as he was activated from the DL.  Speaking of infants, I bought a friend a pacifier.  Well, I bought the friend’s baby one.  Anyway, the pacifier has a mustache, which is, obviously awesome.  Got me thinking, there should be a cigarette pacifier, then I Googled it and there was.  Then I Googled, “bong pacifier” — yup, there too.  There’s mob pacifiers, ‘boob’ pacifiers, hillbilly teeth pacifiers… Basically, anything you could want.  Are pacifiers the new yuppie baby accessory?  Do parents get together and compare wacky pacifiers?  I got questions, y’all!

Miguel Cabrera – 2-for-3 and his 37th homer.  Now has five homers in the last six games.  Yawn.  Win another Triple Crown or don’t speak to me!

Chris Sale – 9 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks, lowering his ERA to 2.73.  We talk a bit about Chris Sale in the podcast that is coming later today.  You can hardly wait.  No, you!

Paul Maholm – Threw a simulated game and is about two weeks away.  The single parent home of Pa-Ma didn’t do much when he was pitching for the Braves earlier this year and I wouldn’t expect much when he returned.

Mark Reynolds – Like the cure for scurvy, tobacco and beaver pelts, Reynolds was released into the world by the Indians.  For their trouble, the Indians received some trinkets and small pox.

Danny Salazar – 4 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Was pulled early because it was a stressful four innings.  At least it was stressful for me.  You make the Blue Jays and Tigers look foolish then do this against the Twins?!  Ugh.  I’m holding him for his next start in O.co, but am less excited about it.

Andrew Albers – 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 2 Ks, which comes after his major league debut of 8 1/3 IP, 0 ER.  Yeah, he’s in a groove and gets the White Sox next at home, which isn’t a terrible start.  A word of caution (okay, a few words).  He doesn’t strikeout a whole lot of guys and he got lucky in this start.  I saw a few good plays on defense and I only watched five innings.  This could’ve easily been a 6 IP, 3 ER game.  He’s worth a flyer in some leagues, but I wouldn’t expect the 2nd coming of Max Scherzer.  Or simply re-Max.

Brian Dozier – 1-for-4 with his 12th homer, and third this week.  The Rise of the Schmohawks hasn’t ended yet for this guy.  Don’t think it lasts long, but he’s still a hot schmotato.

Trevor Plouffe – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer.  Plouffe goes the dynamite!  There’s about a 30% chance he hits a homer again today.  Not joking, he usually hits a few when he hits one.

Garrett Richards – 8 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks vs. the Yanks.  Now one day Richards can tell his grand kids that he pitched against the 2005 All-Star team.

Jason Vargas – Will be activated to start today.  He’s around a 3.75 ERA, 1.30 WHIP guy without great Ks, so he’s pretty marginal in most mixed leagues, or I Can’t Believe He’s Not Better.

Tommy Hanson – Sent to Triple-A to make room for Vargas.  Tommy might consider going back to playing a mean pinball.

Hiroki Kuroda – 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, lowering his ERA to 2.33.  The Ks aren’t really a part of his game, but to go with his ERA he has a 1.02 WHIP in 154 2/3 IP.  As the rest of the poseur fantasy two’s fall by the wayside, Kuroda’s a thing of ratio beauty.

Curtis Granderson – 2-for-3 and his 3rd homer, as he hits .237.  He only has 59 ABs, but those stats look like a microcosm of a full season from him.  Like his whole year is inside a snow globe.

Derek JeterYanks announced that he’s not close to activation.  Girardi said, “I think at some point this week you’ll start seeing him do my favorite, tee and toss.”  Weird, Jeter’s favorite thing to say to women is, “You get no key,” and toss them.

Mat Latos – 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.04.  Unfortunately, this start meant his wife didn’t need to defend him on Twitter with unintentional comedy.

Travis Wood – 8 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.00.  Quite the season he’s having, that I wish I owned, but don’t trust at all.

Alcides Escobar – 2-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 14th steal.  In a league where I need steals, I own Alcides.  As I said previously, I could see him getting to 25 steals by the end of the year.  And that’s me paraphrasing me!

Jarrod Dyson – 1-for-3, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 18th steal, and 2nd in as many games.  Could be one of those times of the year when Dyson runs around like a chicken without its head.  “I’m the Dyson no-headed chicken, snitches!”  That’s what Jarrod says when I stare at his player page picture long enough.

Chris Getz – 3-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 9th steal.  When I saw this stealing outburst by the Royals, I went to look at Mike’s stealing column.  And it had nothing about any of these Royals, but there’s some other useful info there.

Billy Butler – 2-for-4 and a homer.  This was his 11th jack of the season.  Thirteen if you count his flapjacks.

Mike Moustakas – Left yesterday’s game with a tight calf.  Moustakas with a tight calf could only mean one thing — sorema for everyone!

 
  1. liz says:
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    salazar….disappointeddddddd

    drop salazar for martin perez?

    thanks!

      • Tio says:
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        @Malicious Phenom:

        Hold Salazar for his next start against the A’s in Oakland. Keep in mind his last start was against the K-stros.

        • Tio says:
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          @Tio:

          Perez’s last start.

          • @Tio: AH, I had forgot who he threw that gem against, thanks for that!!

  2. 2 Giant rings says:
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    Goldschmidt for Matt Cain and belt? 20 teams thx!

  3. Alex says:
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    Would you trade prado for Altuve if you need speed? Worried about his injury

    • @Alex: No, keep Prado, Altuve has not been running cause of the injury.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Alex: Worth a shot

  4. Samuel says:
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    Would you hold Arcia or Eaton in an OPS league where SB have less importance ?

  5. letsgobravos says:
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    I hold Moobs all season and finally dump him last week. From the day he left my roster, he’s been crushing it. Meanwhile, I grab BJ Upton and he hasn’t gotten a hit since then. Cursed? Clearly.

      • letsgobravos says:
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        @Grey: Yeah, had Ortiz also so I moved him to 1b. Moobs was ranked 220something for the season in our league and outside the top 500 in the previous 30 days. Dropped him for BJ Upton after he appeared to be heating up last week.

  6. bossmanjunior says:
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    Hosmer v. J Fernandez or Martin v. Estrada (allowed 1 SB this season)

  7. bossmanjunior says:
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    Guy im facing in h2h this week only has 3 starters, none of which have 2 starts. I have 9 starts this week scheduled. Which of these would you sit:

    Madbum @WAS, @MIA
    Gio vSF, @ATL
    Harvey @LAD
    Miller vPIT
    Lincecum @WAS
    Garza vMIL
    Lester @TOR

  8. Help, lads, should I start Jo Fer at KC tonight, dude is 3-5 on the road almost 4 era, dude throws much better on south beach..I am thinking sit him tonight..

    • TheNewGuy says:
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      @Malicious Phenom:
      You’re the guy answering questions so you shouldnt need help.

      Pitch.

      • Tio says:
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        @TheNewGuy:

        Dude… haters not allowed in Razzball commenting sections.

      • @TheNewGuy: Dude I am not perfect and do not have all the answers, so yes even I need help now and then LOL.

    • Tio says:
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      @Malicious Phenom:

      Depends on needs… the Royals have been hot. The nice thing with JoFer is that he will bring K’s even if he takes a loss. I would look at the rest of your starters and see if you think you need to roll him out. If you have several other choices then I think you can afford to bench him. Otherwise, I would start him (I am starting him in a H2H league).

  9. Shoop Da Whoop says:
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    ESPN has Salazar pitching Monday against the Angels, not Sunday in Oakland. Sad panda :(

    • Slim

      Buddah Lovaz says:
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      @Shoop Da Whoop: MLB.com agrees. At least that he’s not pitching Sunday.

  10. harkrider says:
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    Eaton, Ashe, or Arenado?? I stashed Xander, but it doesn’t look like he is coming up so I’m looking at a change. Thoughts?? It would be as a UTIL player

    • huge caulk says:
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      @harkrider:
      I like Eaton and he has been hot lately, but where are his steals? That was a big part of his hype. I would go Ashe bc Arenado has been bad away from Coors..

  11. Slim

    Buddah Lovaz says:
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    I’m assuming by your 2 week comment on Jason Castro that he’s probably looking at a DL stint. Err.. My guys are dropping fast. Jennings, Kendrick, Franklin, now Castro. With Gyorko trying to heat up I’m thinking about dumping Franklin for him. Yes? No? Doesn’t matter? I will refrain from asking a catcher question. I’m pretty sure your answer will be to pick up whoever is hitting.

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @Buddah Lovaz: not necessarily true, as i was told to keep mesoraco over ellis/ruiz/castillo and all three of those had better last 8 days than mesoraco did. anyway, as bad as franklin’s been it’s likely grey would say it’s better to have any 2b/ss or whatever pos you’re using franklin at (i have him as backup at 2b/ss, but soon dropping him for miller for same purpose). Yeah, we may soon be real happy we held onto gyorko in deep leagues. (me and people like me) 3 homers,2 doubles not far apart, and back to shrinking the K’s.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Buddah Lovaz: Yes, go with Gyorko…Castro might play still, no DL yet

  12. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    12 team h2h league team that i inherited less than 2 weeks ago. My first order of business was shoring up obv needs, but now i have so many holds guys i don’t have any bench bats, and offense is weak on this team. so i dropped fien for belt. I did trade for torii hunter.
    1. if i have rasmus and ludwick should i drop either/both for somebody like arcia/calhoun/maxwell?
    2. i’m assuming i want arenado and dozier more than alexei ramirez even though he’s been hot as shit? The only thing i don’t need on offense is steals Dozier was picked up by dropping asdrubal a few days ago and arenado plays the IF pos every day.
    3. 16 teamer question. Am i right in thinking when eric chavez comes back i’d rather have him than wallace, wallace gets more homers but has a MUCH worse average and chavez had the same amount of runs/rbi’s as wallace over last 30 days even though he had like 30 less at bats. I seem to always miss eric chavez in the deep league, right as he gets hot and i notice it some team either catching up to me or somebody better than me who i very well might face in the playoffs grabs him before me by like 2 or less days.

  13. Taylor says:
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    I’m dying at middle IF with S Castro and N Franklin and no wire help. Is Anibal (my pitching is strong) too much to give up for Desmond?

    • slacks says:
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      @Taylor:
      Probably not enough, desmond has been very quietly great the last two years

  14. Eddie says:
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    Striking out 15 Astros is like striking out 8 High School sophomores.

    /Bitter H2H opponent.

  15. Coco krispie says:
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    Who’s more valuable next year? J upton or Stanton?

  16. de nachos says:
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    Remembering that Ken Ober is dead always makes me disproportionally sad.

  17. JC says:
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    Better start tomorrow: Porcello @CWS or Jacob Turner @KC. Don’t need the win just K’s and good ratios.

    • Tio says:
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      @JC:

      I’d go Porcello, the Royals are playing good baseball lately. The Sox are awful.

      • JC says:
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        @Tio: agreed but also noticed De La Rosa is on ww and he pitches against @SD. So Porcello over him too?

        • Tio says:
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          @JC:

          SON doesn’t like any of them, but likes Porcello the best. I agree.

        • MattTruss

          MattTruss223 says:
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          @JC: Better double check that, believe the Rox are at home right now…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @JC: Porcello

  18. Charles says:
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    I’ve had Eaton three different times this year. Drop Yelich to make it a fourth?

  19. jason batteiger says:
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    is it time to consider dyson as a better source as a bench steals guy than rajai? 10 team league where (deep bench, 30 man rosters) raj rides the bench unless i need steals. this spot has also been headley a few times, but he’s terrible. This spot may soon turn into 3rd base backup for machado’s 229 hitting over last 30 day ass. Options there are mostsuckass/freese/asche/chavez (when healthy). also have wright DL’ed (maybe lost for year). If this team wins with fielder having worst year (other than rbi’s) in a long time and wright gone i’ll be very proud. so
    1. dyson or raj for steals
    2. mostsuckass/freese/asche or chavez (when healthy) at 3rd for machado insurance?
    I suppose i’ll make the decision later as to which of these to roster. Or could drop Victorino and get both.

  20. TheNewGuy says:
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    Ha, quality Yu comment.

    Middlebro or Venable in an OBPer? My last names Venables so hoping you say him!

    • Tio says:
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      @TheNewGuy:

      I’d go Venable… Middlebrooks only seems to strikeout.

  21. Andrew says:
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    Morning Grey-

    In a 12 team keeper (keep 5) would you want Puig (22nd rd 2 more years) or Yu (8th rd 1 more year)?

    I’m working on making a run for the 2nd place bye in the playoffs and Yu is on the last place team and he’s looking for keepers. Wants a package so ill update you with where it goes from here but how you you feel about the backbone of the trade?

    Thanks for the help!

    • Tio says:
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      @Andrew:

      Normally I like the longer term guy, but in this case, I think Yu as an 8th is too tempting to pass up. As Grey indicated, Yu will likely be in the top 3-5 pitchers and will go well in advance of the 8th round. Puig to me is still an enigma. He swings at everything and that scares me but hard to deny the results. Still, I would like to see him for a whole season and once he has made it through the league see how he adjusts to the steady diet of junkballs he will see. That combined with the wide availability of quality OF and I would go with the Darvish side.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Andrew: Take Yu if it helps you win this year

  22. Grant says:
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    14 team league, I have been holding onto Frazier, always afraid that he will do something if I drop him, and 3B waivers in pretty crappy. Should I drop for Asche?

    • Tio says:
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      @Grant:

      I’d probably hold Frazier. He is on a better team and has been hitting second in the lineup lately which should mean better pitches to hit.

  23. 2 Giant rings says:
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    20 teams. Goldschmidt and Vogelsong for Matt Cain, belt and reed. Assuming you like the Cain side, if I have to swap out Vogelsong for Jacob turner would still like the Cain side? Thanks for your time.

    • BluePulaski says:
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      @2 Giant rings: in a vacuum I prefer Goldy…best player in the deal by far…Goldy is a top 20 player with potential for top 10…he’s still in a growth stage…Cain is still a good pitcher…but on lower end of 2nd tier…approaching 3rd tier if he doesn’t continue to perform…lots of innings on that arm…regardless he’s heading out of his prime if he hasn’t already…Goldy could be the top 1b for years to come…top 3 for sure…gets steals too…belt is still belt another year later…upside still…yes…but he gets hurt and his manager doesn’t believe in him…reed is a good closer…but he’s a closer and he’s not Chapman, Kimbrel, or Jansen…if Cain blows his arm who knows?…if Goldy breaks any bones, tears his ACL, gets a severe concussion, etc… he will still maintain most if not all of his value…if u need pitching and have another solid 1B…maybe…but I’d try to get better for Goldy if u can afford to lose him

  24. DonSlaughtOnslaught says:
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    Crispin Glover was great in River’s Edge.

  25. Wake Up says:
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    Ronde jambe – our organic fair trade Peruvian local coffee, served with steamed orange juice and plenty of sass

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Wake Up: “Our coffee cup sleeves are made from 100% fruit roll ups.”

      • Wake Up says:
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        @Grey: Hahaha…better be a local organic fruit roll-up…

  26. Wake Up says:
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    “A-When you sleep on a bed of kittens, you can’t yell wolf when you get a lil puss in your boots”

  27. Wake Up says:
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    Onyx/Legs…Nice!

  28. Clint (aka Pablo Death) says:
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    Oh man, Strailly had a good start. Time to get ready for Nando & Crew at CBS Fantasy Sports to start the “He’s SO awesome! Go get him & win your league now!” pimpin’.

  29. Wake Up says:
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    I am feeling an inappropriate level of happiness in the demise of the Hanson…now that it’s actually over, I feel bad for the ole ginger…not just because gingers won’t be around much longer due to recessivity…not just because pitchers ain’t got no soul (PAGNOS!)…but mostly because…blah blah blah…the point is I’m awesome…plus, I’m pretty awesome!

    • Jack Full O' Hate says:
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      @Wake Up: are you saying the Irish are working themselves out of the population? are they going to space? they are still going to make cheetos? right?

      • Wake Up says:
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        @Jack Full O’ Hate: I didn’t even know that the Irish made cheetos…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Wake Up: Good points…PAGNOS!

  30. booya says:
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    How do you rank Straily, Kennedy, and Sonny in a 10 team H2H keeper league that uses K/9?
    I’m starting to run short on moves…

    Thanks0

    • The Thumb says:
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      @booya: Kennedy (at home), Sonny, kennedy (away), Straily. If you’re hurting with K’s, take Gray.