As many of you know, I’m in the NL-Only Tout Wars league, so every year I take part in an industry NL-Only league with the CBS peeps to try to find my footing before I go off to New York to take on the heavyweights, and Andy Behrens, who is the one guy in our league with a seemingly healthy BMI. Some might mock, some might mock draft, but this is my draft prep, and am happy to take part in this league. Dot dot dot. Until about 25 minutes into the draft, and players go for way too much, and I start getting hungry and I just want the whole thing to be over and ermahgerd! But, for those first twenty-five minutes of the five-hour draft, I’m laser focused. For this league, I once again use Rudy’s NL-Only rankings, and his War Room (it’s free with a subscription). I won’t try to get you to buy it anymore. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make the horse put a cape down so I can walk over the water without getting wet. (If you want a shallower league, play against me and hundreds others for prizes –> Razzball Commenter Leagues.) Anyway, here’s my 12-team NL-Only team and some thoughts:
C: Keibert Ruiz – $10
C: Austin Nola – $2
1B: Matt Olson – $28
2B: Brendan Rodgers – $12
SS: Xander Bogaerts – $23
3B: Ke’Bryan Hayes – $17
MI: Brice Turang – $1
CI: Rowdy Tellez – $19
OF: Corbin Carroll – $29
OF: Jake McCarthy – $22
OF: Alek Thomas – $4
OF: Jake Fraley – $5
OF: Lane Thomas – $5
UTIL: J.D. Davis – $4
Bench: Alex Call, Chad Pinder, Tyler Naquin, Nelson Velazquez
P: Daniel Bard – $15
P: Miles Mikolas- $14
P: Jordan Montgomery – $14
P: Carlos Carrasco – $9
P: Alex Cobb – $10
P: Justin Steele – $8
P: Michael Wacha – $4
P: J.T. Brubaker – $1
P: A.J. Puk – $4
Bench: Zach Davies, Adrian Morejon, Kyle Harrison
I WISH I WEREN’T ALREADY BOLDED AND CAPPED BECAUSE I’D LIKE TO EMPHASIS SOMETHING.
You can try underlining.
FAIR ENOUGH. YOUR PITCHING SUCKS, YO! DID YOU POOP YOUR PANTS MID-DRAFT, RUN TO THE BOUDOIR TO CHANGE SAID PANTS AND MISS THE PART WHERE PEOPLE DRAFTED PITCHING?
I did not. Did you underline “your” for the few times I’ve pooped someone else’s pants?
YES. OKAY, JUST TELL ME WHAT YOUR WAR ROOM TOTALS WERE SO WE CAN GET THE BIG-PICTURE RATIONALIZATIONS OUT OF THE WAY.
Before basking in the glory that is my offense, we will take a small detour through Shizzville, population: my pitching staff. Not a whole lot of 20 game winners on this staff, unless Miles Mikolas tattoos “20 game winner” on his penis. In drafts like this, you have to choose what you’re going to draft. You can’t draft everything. You can draft totally balanced like my AL-Only team, but then you’re left with no real strengths. With this NL-Only draft, I drafted hitting heavy, because that’s how I usually attack Tout, so, as an exercise, I exercised it, while excising pitching. When your top pitcher is the closer for the Rockies you might, how do I put this politely, have some real effin’ problems in your pitching staff. I did grab my Justin Steele sleeper, which is nice, and I should be okay on wins, according to projections. Ya know, “Wins” the hardest thing to project. Very smart drafting by the ol’ Fantasy Master Lothario (don’t abbreviate it!). Kinda appropriate that my pitching ends with Puk. It truly is vomit-inducing. By the by, my Marlins’ connection is saying Puk would be his best bet for the most saves, if Andrew Jackson Puk stays healthy, something that’s been a challenge.
SO, THAT WAS A LONG, SHAGGY DOG STORY. PERHAPS I SHOULD KEEP MY QUESTIONS MORE CLOSE-ENDED. DID YOU INTEND TO DOMINATE ALL CATEGORIES THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO PREDICT LIKE WINS, RUNS AND RIBBIES. PLEASE: STICK TO YES OR NO ANSWERS.
Just happened that I was drafting a lot of guys who–
YES OR NO. PLEASE.
No, but I like the team. Yes, little heavier on Diamondbacks than I intended, but pretty psyched to get Corbin Carroll — my Corbin Carroll fantasy — in at least one league and it cost a lot less than I expected in a league where there’s no bargains (which I’ll get to in a second). Grabbed my Rowdy Tellez sleeper and Jake McCarthy sleeper — muah! That’s me blowing them both kisses. Brice Turang for $1 is, brucely, so low I’m not sure what I’m missing. You ever get such a great deal in an auction you’re convinced you must be wrong, because the 11 others can’t be that off. Last year, Turang went 13/34/.286 in Triple-A in 131 games at 22 years of age. He’s penciled into the starting lineup right now for Opening Day. Let’s do an apples to apples, late MI flyer to late MI flyer comparison: Turang for a $1 or Nick Ahmed for $1? Or Brandon Crawford for $3? Or Jeter Downs for $1? Or Kevin Newman for $2? NO one is cheap in these leagues either. Elly De la Cruz went for $9. Also, one quick note about Brendan Rodgers and Ke’Bryan Hayes. They’re not guys I love for shallow mixed leagues. Well, Hayes could have his place on some teams that need steals, but Rodgers is the new blech. How’sever, in a deep league, it’s important to max out at-bats, so you have to put aside some prejudices. I needed average, so Rodgers fit on this team, i.e., don’t buck Rodgers if you’re deep with space. Sorry, but you walked into that one.
IF I’M GONNA BE HONEST, I KINDA LIKE THAT MATT OLSON BUY FOR $28.
You don’t even know, Mr. Bolden Al Capps! Top players did not go for cheap. Shoot (not you, Dick Cheney), Paul Goldschmidt went for $34. He’s six dollars more than Olson? Not according to our values. Another team had Albombso ($35), Fun The Jewels ($37), Kyle Schwarber ($37) and no 2nd baseman, 3rd baseman or four of five outfielders, or really much of a pitching staff. Another team had Torenado ($33), and Mookie Best ($36) with Trey Mancini at 1st, Nolan Gorman at 2nd and one of the Luis Garcias at short. So, everyone has their holes, but some just have better plugs. RIP Plug 2.