There was once a planet called *hris Davis that was all powerful, but had issues with contact so nobody knew about it.  Power split the planet in two.

Khris Davis, “You, the light side of the planet, me the dark side, but I vacuumed up all your power to combine into my own and now I have all the power.”
Chris Davis, “How could you!”
Khris, “Well, you stumbled into my lair, after going 0-for-52 trying to open the door.  Should you get your eyes checked?  I ask as a concerned villain.”
Chris, “You stole my power, Khris with a K!”
Khris, “Tut-tut-tut, Chris with a C.  It’s K-HR-ris!  Muahahahaha…”  Sips from a Capri Sun, then continues, “…hahahahahahaha…” Coughs a bit, ending his evil laugh, then adds a final sting, “Now you are as useful as that Qhris Davis meteroid playing for the Marlins’ Double-A team.”  Yesterday, Khris Davis (2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer, hitting .266) continued his barrage on baseballs, while Chris Davis (0-for-3, 1 run, hitting .000) continued his barrage on hitting.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Kendrys Morales – 2-for-3 and his 1st homer, hitting .243.  If MLB outlaws position players pitching outside of 7-run games, I have a serious question, how will the O’s find someone to pitch after the third inning?  The umpire checks his lineup card, then, “Is a Yacabonis a 2nd baseman?”

J.B. Wendelken – 0 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 3.18.  J.B. Wendleken sounds like a fine name if you are running an early 20th century eponymously-named department store.  “What is this – a kee-osk devoted to making up women?!  And at the front of the store no less!  Tarting up the face of women with powders and lip hues?!”  Employee, “Sir, these trousers look ridiculous for a man.”  J.B. Wendleken, “That is because they are not for a man.  They are for a woo-man!”

Marcus Semien – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 3rd homer, hitting .323.  Semien with lift-off after getting the O’s pitching face.

Dwight Smith Jr. – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer, hitting .280.  He’s doing basically what I thought Cedric Mullins would do who is just being basic.  Smith will be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but why wait for that mishegas?

Michael Wacha – 3 2/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 5.28.  *looks at Streamonator*  Well, that makes the drop easier in shallow leagues, the matchups are not getting easier.

Jose Martinez – 4-for-5, 3 runs, 1 RBI, hitting .259.  Since I own Dexter Fowler, I’m concerned this might be the beginning of the end of Fowler and the start of Jo-Mart’s everyday playing time.  I’m grabbing him now in shallower leagues, just in case (not Juan Nicasio).

Walker Buehler – 4 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 8.25. Maybe Walker Buehler would be happier if the Dodgers traded for Jace Fry.  Any hoo!  Buy low!  Buehler is a top 10 starter, not an 8+ ERA guy, not even a 4+ ERA guy.  If you’re in a league where his owner is panicking, now is the time to pounce like a hipster in Brooklyn for anything artisanal.  “Were you honey bees farmed for longer than three hours?”  “Never, that produces tired honey.”  Buy! Buy! Buy!

Enrique Hernandez – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs, and his 4th homer, hitting .349.  Hey, I like Joc Pederson and I get the OBP/splits/yadda-blabbity-bloo, but how does Enrique wearing his Launch Angle Jeans move to 7th in the order while Pederson continues to hit leadoff?

Clayton Kershaw – Will make his season debut vs. the Reds.  I’d bet he will look good, until he is injured again, but that’s the safe bet.  Or maybe smart money might be on him not looking good and getting injured again soon.  He hasn’t exactly pitched crisply in the minors during his rehab assignment.  I’m now going to put these hedges on my landscape architect CV.

Steven Matz – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 1.65.  Sonavabench!  Damn, I over-managed that one.  Should’ve just started him.  Not sure how I thought he was a better guy to bench than German Marquez in Coors.  I need a nap. *five seconds later, claps hands*  I feel refreshed!

Amed Rosario – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 1st homer.  He hit that ball a metric ton.  Is that far?  It is now!

Pete Alonso – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer, hitting .378.  He comes up to bat and I start Hammer dancing around my house, and it really is my house and not like when I would say “my house” and it was a Radio Shack.

Todd FrazierMets said he will return any day now.  Nooooooooooooooooo *enters nail salon, gets manicure, exits nail salon* oooooooooooooooooooo.  Please, Mets, I was just starting to have faith in you.  Can’t Frazier and Dexter Fowler go start a new team somewhere else?

Johan Camargo – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer.  Wanna hear another story of Grey’s dumb managing?  Of course, you do.  Somehow I picked up Camargo for Friday instead of Thursday, because I dropped a guy whose game had started and…*eats glass*  Garbled, “I’m good.”

Ronald Acuña Jr. – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer.  Tildaddy is done drinking his beer!

Zack Godley – 6 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 7.41.  I guess it’s one’s perception, but that seems a little unGodley.

Eduardo Escobar – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer, hitting .220.  Finally, you people are making some headway.  Now please become more aggressive about dropping him. He needs to be spurred on.

Jon Gray – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.19.  vs. Jeff Samardzija – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at ERA at 1.62.  There’s talk that Samardzija threw more sliders, successfully, yesterday, but I don’t know if it’s a small sample size thing as a game plan to attack the Rockies or if it’s a new thing.  It’ll be a long time before I trust either pitcher again.  However, it was cool that the Rockies/Giants game was sponsored by Kid Rock’s Kowboy Kuts:

Kevin Pillar – 1-for-3 and his 3rd homer, and 3rd homer in the last four games.  Maybe he’s not a scrubmarine, but instead a hot schmotato alert!

Jose Quintana – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 5.14.  Member last week when I didn’t know why I drafted this schmohawk in multiple leagues?  This week, I know why.  Next week:  TBD.

Nate Eovaldi – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 8.40.  The Red Sox pitchers’ elaborate plan to make Chris Sale look better by comparison is working splendidly.

Mitch Moreland – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer. He is so smoking hot.  Send this guy to Fire Island and let him hustle for a living.  Yes, you absolutely should pick him up.

Justin Smoak – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer.  Ya know what the Jays need?  A 1B/DH-type.  If they could only find one of those.  Making bread with the wry!

Freddy Galvis – 4-for-4, 2 runs and his 4th homer.  I know this is goofy, but since he returned from his first off-day in three years, he has been on it, now three homers in the last five games, and around $20 of value on our 7-Day Player Rater (yes, we have one of those too).

Rowdy Tellez – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .241.  The Jays announced his home run was longest ever in Fenway, then retracted it.  And we say metric system is confusing.  Geez.

JaCoby Jones – 0-for-3 as he was activated from the IL.  Mikie Mahtook was designated for assignment.  His assignment is to either change his name to Mike, Michael or Mikey.  Mikie just looks dumb.

Spencer Turnbull – 4 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 4.80.  Ya mean this fairly sure-shot schmohawk isn’t that good?  C’mon!

Leonys Martin – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (2) and legs (1).  Leonys taking revenge against the Tigers for letting him go.  If Martin could just be released by six more AL teams, he’ll be an All-Star.

Shane Bieber – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 1.80.  Just Googled “Indians Bieber” and Justin Bieber is a huge draw in India.  By the way (terrible segue alert!), I watched Dehli Crime on Netflix, and it was terrible, but it’s fascinating to me that instead of cops handcuffing criminals in India, they hold their hand like they’re dating.

Dee Gordon – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer, hitting .365.  Somebody check his urine!  What?  No, not for asparagus smell!  So, he appears to have been a bargain at drafts this year so far, or sofa if a furniture magnet is reading.  Mansplainingly, the entire M’s offense appears to be a bargain so far.  What kind of supplements did they get in Japan?  Tonkatsudafed?

Daniel Vogelbach – 1-for-4 and his 6th homer, and 17th homer this week.  The Jelly Donut of Swat!  I’m been telling you to pick him up, not sure what else I can do.  Will you respond to a fantasy baseball ‘pert in a pinafore?

Connor Sadzeck – 1 IP, 0 ER and his 1st save.  I mentioned him on this week’s podcast, because his name is Sadzeck.  So depressing.  Like my SAGNOF.  I still think Swarzak is the closer, but it’s becoming more fluid. *turns nose up* At least I hope that’s fluid.

Hunter Dozier – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, and back-to-back games with homers.  I ignored mentioning his homer on Wednesday, but now it’s harder to avoid.  He won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but I could see some hot schmotatoness.

Adalberto Mondesi – 1-for-3 and his 2nd homer, hitting .306.  Doesn’t look so crazy now for adopting nine kids and naming them each a letter of Adalberto’s name, huh?  Though, it does annoy me when B stands where D goes.  “You’re not just background extras in my life!”  That’s me yelling at my nine children.

Jorge Soler – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .250, and has two homers in as many games.  Or one homer for each gam.  Not sure if he’s owned in fewer than 50% of leagues, so he’s not in my Buy column this afternoon, but he should be owned and/or bought or picked up.

Billy Hamilton – Carted off the field after a collusion with the outfield wall.  Those things don’t move, Billy.  He has a knee sprain and is day-today.  Terrance Gore could see an uptick in playing time, once he’s done running around the globe for fun.

Brad Boxberger – 1 IP, 2 ER and his 1st blown save.  Well, he got the chance like I said, but this isn’t how you run with the job.  You know who I want now, right?  Dick Lovelady!

Matt Kemp – 0-for-4, hitting .143.  Pretty cool how Scott Schebler hits two homers in the last three games, and David Bell takes that as a cue to bench him for Matt Kemp.  Pretttttay, pretttttay cool.

Sonny Gray – 4 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.03.  When you can go more than 5 IP against the MIA Marlins, give me a call.

Eugenio Suarez – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .297.  I’m old enough to remember when he had only one homer and was hitting .192, because I’M NOT FOUR DAYS OLD!

Pablo Lopez – 4 2/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 6.60.  Always liked FML, Fade and Low Lights off The Life of Pablo, and now thinking it might’ve had ominous connotations.

 
  1. Roger Anderson says:
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    Is it too early to ask Catcher questions? Time to move on from Jansen and grab Phegley or Pfagely (not that there is anything wrong with that)? I picked up Astudillo but that means he will stop hitting and never get any position eligibility beyond C.

    • The Scrant Dog

      The Scrant Dog says:
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      Jansen is killing me as well.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha… Lose Jansen for Phegley

  2. toolshed says:
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    Jimmy Nelson looks like he may be back in may. Are you buying? Pitching right now is ugly. Thanks

    • Moneyball says:
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      Max Fried, Yonny Chirinos and Jimmy Nelson are totally going to save me (from my keepers deGrom, real cheap Miles Missing Mustache Mikolas, real cheap Joey Lucchestnut, etc.) and we are all going to laugh and sing and frolic in a field of daisies.

      At least that’s what’s happening inside my head.

      The good news is everyone else’s pitching sucks too.
      If you have a spot you can park Nelson, why wouldn’t you?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’m buying

      • Prog Nation says:
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        Hey Grey, would you drop Clevinger from the DL for Nelson?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yes

          • William Hung says:
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            whoa for real?!?!?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Clevinger’s out for 2 months

              • William Hung says:
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                figure it’s still early enough to still come back for a strong 2nd half

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Yeah, could be

  3. Crazy J says:
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    Ugh, I picked the wrong day to try and close a deal for Suarez…

    What to do with Eovaldi?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Meh, think you have to hold for another start, but prolly on bench

      • Crazy J says:
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        Will do. I put out my Buehler offers hoping to get him for my L. Castillo.

        • Crazy J says:
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          and Just Awful Happ?

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Yeah, ugh

            • Crazy J says:
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              Last question (for now), will Peraza be pitching soon so he can hit in the 9 spot, or if he’s playing inter-league someone else can hit for him?

  4. Brett says:
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    Shaw is available in my league… who to drop?

    pindor, ahmed…. (IL guys) scooter gennett, miguel andujar

    Thanks! Love this site!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ahmed — thanks!

  5. Dr Easy says:
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    I know you’re going to make fun of me in your next column, but is it time to dump Palka? Could pick up Dwight Smith Jr or Kiermaier for example.

    • Wally Pipp says:
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      Nobody’s going to make fun of you for cutting palka, he was a sleeper. Kiermaier is a better option.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Not making fun, drop him… I’ll be making fun of myself for owning him soon — Grab Smith

      • Hebrew Hammer says:
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        Smith over Jay Bruce?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Mallex? Different things

  6. Mojoman says:
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    Hello Grey and DT :)

    Wheeler @ ATL, Happ vs CWS
    Start or sit?

    • Mojoman says:
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      Ah! So, when will Torenado hit a homer? :(

      • Fungazi 2.0 says:
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        I’m going to guess next Thursday. And then another 5-6 over that weekend.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Once Coors heats up

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’m starting them, heaven help me

      • Mojoman says:
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        Lol thank you, Grey :)

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          No problem

  7. Ante Galic says:
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    Grey!!

    Nice report, man! I keed, great stuff!!!

    a. A few funnies from yesterday…

    1. Sonny Gray (your bastard son who changed the spelling of your surname he inherited from you because you are a deadbeat dad who hasn’t paid his alimony since he was a little boy) threw 60 pitches through those same 4 INN yesterday. Why was he removed? Are they saving him for the Reds pennant drive which will never happen?

    2. Yeah, had Schebler all lined up, then saw he wasn’t in the lineup (he did scare me when he was announced to be a pinch-hitter in the 7th, sigh) and dropped him for Alex Gordon who did all right again in a pinch. Alex Gordon will be the best hitter that hits 15/25/.300 that everyone COULD have used on their roster but NOBODY had the guts to keep around for the whole season.

    3. The ball must have been juiced or something yesterday in STL. Buehler pitchslapping should have been the clue.

    b. Signed up Jo-Ma, Leonys and Escobar. Escobar sucked so badly, I was able to draft him, drop him a full week or more ago and then he hits his first homer and able to pick him up again with ease. He sucked badly.

    c. Abbott and Costello quote of the day for April 12

    Bud Abbott: Do you understand everything clearly?
    Lou Costello: I understand. You’re going to get behind the piano.
    Bud Abbott: Right.
    Lou Costello: When I say alright, you’re going to play the music.
    Bud Abbott: Yes.
    Lou Costello: Then when I say alright the second time, you turn off the music.
    Bud Abbott: That’s all there is to it. Now go knock on the door.
    Lou Costello: Don’t make any mistakes.
    Bud Abbott: Alright.
    [Bud and Lou knock on the door and go into the apartment.]
    Lou Costello: You sit right there and I’ll play something like you’ve never heard in your life. Beautiful too! (Hillary laughs coyly).
    [Lou walks over to the piano.]
    Lou Costello: (Lou smacks hands) Alright.
    [Start keyboard with a classical song.]
    Lou Costello: Alright.
    [The music stops. Lou walks over to Hillary and her father.]
    Lou Costello: (Lou smacks hands) How’d you like it.
    Hillary – Oh Louis, father said it was wonderful.
    Hillary’s father – I didn’t say it was wonderful. I said it was alright.
    [Piano starts playing with Lou far away from the piano. Lou runs over to the piano.]
    Lou Costello: Alright.
    [Piano stops playing.]
    Lou Costello: When I say it ya…
    [Lou returns to Hillary and her father.]
    Lou Costello: Well, what do you think of that?
    Hillary’s father – That was all…. To the mustard.
    Lou Costello: All to the mustard???? For a minute there, I thought your father was going to say it was alright.
    [Piano starts playing again, and Lou not expecting it to start has to run back to the piano.]
    Lou Costello: Alright.
    Bud has fallen asleep and doesn’t hear Lou yelling repeatedly “ALRIGHT”.
    Lou Costello: Alright.
    [Bud still sleeping.]
    Lou Costello: Alright.
    [Bud still sleeping.]
    Lou Costello: (singing) Alright, alright, alright, alright Bud.
    [Lou finally dumps a vase of flowers on Bud’s head in order to wake him so that he’ll turn off the piano.]
    [Hillary and her father jump up and go over to the piano.]
    Hillary’s father – You’re a fake. Hillary, I don’t want you to have anything to do with that young fellow.
    [Bud Abbott comes out from behind the piano.]
    Bud Abbott: Why you ungrateful dog! You, you!
    [Bud Abbott pushes Lou backwards into the piano, which collapses.]

    d. Have a nice weekend

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Timmmuh says:
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      Sonny Gray was hit by a line drive/come backer in the calf – which apparently then tightened up and he was removed after the 4th. Was throwing really well and they expect him to make his next start.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      1. Gray was hit by comebacker, I missed it, will flog self 2. Not sure, that sucked tho 3. Yeah B. I hear ya C. Nice! D. You too!

  8. Don says:
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    In my head, Khris Davis’ voice in your dialogue sounds like Old Gregg.

    Who would you rather own as a bench piece: Heyward, Mancini, C. Walker, Pederson?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Don you still have the best avatar pic… Kevin Gregg? Mancini

  9. RoarOf84 says:
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    What sort of player would you trade Domingo Santana for?

    • ukhalo says:
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      A better one.

    • Fungazi 2.0 says:
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      A panicking Benintendi owner

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Fungazi’s got an idea

  10. Malicious Phenoms says:
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    Sonny Gray left after early cause he was hit in the leg by a line drive..

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Meh, was still Marlins, but you’re right I didn’t know that

  11. Fanciful Basesball says:
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    Dear Grey,

    Both my RCL teams are currently in 1st place, and I’m trying to darnedenest to hang on to the lead. If you could only have 2 of the following four 1Bs, which 2 would you prefer?

    Rowdy Tellez
    Christian Walker
    Dan Vogelbach
    Mitch Moreland

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Vogelbach, Moreland

  12. RoarOf84 says:
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    Would you trade Sale for Buehler?

    • RoarOf84 says:
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      Forgot to include the other pieces:

      My Sale and Domingo

      For Buehler and Mazara

      What do you think?

      • The Great Knoche says:
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        Meh.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Don’t love it with the other pieces, don’t mind it Sale straight for Buehler

      • RoarOf84 says:
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        Does Domingo become more expendable knowing that my other starting OFs when healthy are Acuna, Bryant, Eloy, and Dahl?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Then why are you trading for Mazara?

          • RoarOf84 says:
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            Because Dahl is not currently healthy. He would be a filler for Santana to help get the Buehler-Sale swap completed.

            Not sure if league context comes into play here, but this is a 10-team keeper league. Figured Buehler at the age of 24 would trump Sale and whatever uncertainty is surrounding him now and for the future.

  13. KCC26 says:
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    I put in a keeper league where we keep six players at the average of the round in which they were drafted the previous season and the current seasons Yahoo pre-ranked round.

    With that in mind, would you deal Alonso (17th round) this year for either Chapman (12th) or Suarez (11th round)? Having a hard time evaluating Alonso. He is striking out a ton but he also hit the sh*t out of the ball so I could see him continuing to run a very high BABIP even though he is a big slow righty.

    Thanks!