KC Takes The L To South Side For Royal Beatdown

The Chicago White Sox shredded the Royals like Italian Beef on Friday night, as Kansas City took the L to an absolute slug fest. In a historic win, it was break out star first baseman slash heartthrob Miguel Vargas who got the blowout started with his 18th home run a three run bomb that sparked a 10-run third inning. Vargas chipped in another double his second time up in the same frame, and later added his fifth RBI of the day in the seventh, which accounted for the Sox’s 21st run of the night. Sweet sassy molassy! But it wasn’t all Vargas damage-dealing, Jacob Gonzalez hit the second of two 3-run dingers in the third, his second home run of the year, and he ended his day with three hits and five RBI. So wait, what’s the score now? No, you wait, cause there’s more! Sophomore catcher and budding star Kyle Teel also had his first breakout game since returning from the IL, notching two hits and his first shot of the year, a two-run tank that gave the White Sox their 13th run of the game! Okay, I’m starting to feel a little bad for the Royals. Oh really? What about Tristan Peters, who added a grand salami in the sixth inning when the score was already 13-1 to make it a 16-run lead, Peters fourth home run of the year. How about Andrew Benintendi, who chipped in a solo shot of his own, giving the Sox the home run cycle, which is a thing I may have just made up? It wasn’t all bad for the Royals, second baseman Tyler Tolbert pitched a scoreless eighth inning and was able to stop the bleeding, something no actual pitcher on the team was able to do. When the dust had cleared the Southside Sox scored 22 runs off 23 hits including five home runs, with four players tallying three hits or more. It was the most runs they’ve scored in a game since 1970. Truly a pummeling for the ages, and a dominant statement win against a division rival that puts Chicago back in first place in the standings. Just wait until they get Mune back. Do we believe me now when I say they’re a wagon, y’all!

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Bobby Witt Jr. – 0-for-3, run. Um, maybe they should have waited a day to let him play again. Or honestly, after missing six games with a knee injury, why not sub him out of this embarrassment when it’s 13-1 versus risking re-injury in 12 run game? Is it really this hard to be Mr. Manager?

Alex Lange – 0.1 IP, 4 hits, 5 ER, 2 BB, K. This is what you get for rostering those [expletive deleted] closers. This was so far from a save situation, but Lange choked like it was game seven of the ALCS. I vicariously empathize with your ratios right now. Poor sweet ratios, I’m so sorry that happened to you.

David Sandlin – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 3 BB, 6 K, 2nd win. He pitched a gem when he was first called up from AAA, and here’s another gem when recalled. No Sandlin my eyes, his control can be wonky but his stuff is pretty good. He followed up the first gem with an absolute shellacking so I will wait and see before trying him out next week but I am intrigued especially by a pitcher on a team that can provide this kind of run support.

Andrew Abbott – 5.1 IP, 6 hits, 3 ER, BB, 6 K. I try to draft or roster starters who are reliable, that doesn’t mean they’re necessarily good but I know what they’re going to do. They’re not going to drop a 7 ER spot on me like Gausman, or a classic Luzardo meltdown. In 15 starts, Abbott has only surrendered more than three runs twice, and when you’re an addict like myself, you can rely on AA.

Paul Skenes – 5.0 IP, 6 hits, 4 ER, 2 BB, 7 K. He had a stretch there where he was looking quite Skensian, Misiorowskian even, but a tough second inning (50+ pitches) did him in! Might be that new pitch he’s working on, the Big Glizzy is not as data-driven as we thought. If you haven’t seen the Sheetz commercial with Paul yet I have to add first, Wawa is better, I’m sorry it is. And B, this is a funny idea for a commercial but until now I didn’t know Paul laughed or spoke that much, and I’m not particularly fond of the notion that he does.

Caleb Ferguson – 1.0 IP, 1 hit, K, SV (1). They finally found a reliever who can close out ballgames with Emilio Pagan scheduled to return next week.

Noelvi Marte – 1-for-1, HR (4), 2 RBI. The first Noelvi bomb got me excited; the fourth was a a pinch hit go-ahead homer in the eighth and now it’s a Marte Party! This came after an 0-for-9 stretch and has all four of his homers in June. Will July be the month of Noelvi? I don’t know!

Konnor Griffin – 2-for-4, HR (5). Welcome back! Homers off the second pitch he saw. Oh, he’s back back back back! That’s a didja miss me bomb.

Spencer Arrighetti – 3.0 IP, 5 hits, 8 ER, 5 BB, 7 K, 4th L, 3 HR. Regression fairies aren’t too fond of all the foreigners on American soil for the World Cup. They believe they should travel within their own continents and eat their own local cuisine. Regression fairies also think the Scots are kind of loud and crass and they will destroy your ratios. Doubling your ERA to a four in less than two weeks and if you haven’t rage dropped Spencer by now I’m giving you permission. It was a wild and crazy run but the fun is done and now you’re just somebody that I used to start.

Colt Keith – 1-for-3, HR (5). Still more homers than Tatis and Vlad.

Keider Montero – 7.0 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, BB, 3 K, 4th win. The Astros are the most confounding team but if you really want confounding how about Keider’s 3.39 ERA? He has a sub-1 WHIP too! The Ks aren’t there to make him a hold in most leagues but as for a reliable streamer he has yet to give up over 4 ER in a start. I’m giving him his flowers is all cause I probably won’t again. He gets the Yankees next week and I want no part of that, Dewey.

Gunnar Henderson – 0-for-5. Sigh. I hate so much the things you choose to be.

Trevor Rogers – 6.1 IP, 5 hits, ER, 7 K, 5th win. Three straight quality starts and back-to-back wins with a 17/4 K/BB and 0.78 WHIP in that stretch. Roger Rogers! What’s your vector Victor, Vodnik?

Blaze Alexander – 1-for-3, 2 RBI. BUY! It’s been a good month for Blazes. However, I think just being named Blaze already sets you up pretty nicely for good things to happen in life. It’s a cool name!

Ryan Helsley – 1.0 IP, K, SV (8). Yay, he’s not broken.

Nick Martinez – 5.2 IP, 6 hits, ER, 3 K, 7th win. He’s had basically one bad outing all year and it wasn’t even all that bad. After Gausman and Arrghetti treated me with week I would kill for an outing like Nick’s worst. Am I in an abusive relationship?

Zac Gallen – 6.2 IP, 4 hits, 5 ER, 2 BB, 0 K. This guy is so c00ked. He reminds me of Greinke in his final year. He gets SF next week and I’m desperate but I ain’t that desperate.

Junior Caminero – 1-for-3, HR (20), 3 RBI. His fourth homer in two games. I distinctly remember answering a comment two or three weeks ago about how useless he’s been. Well, apparently he reads our comments and responded. El Camino is back back back! Never been so back. Did we figure out a nickname for him yet? Killer Cam is not that bad. JuCa is pretty bad. J-Cams isn’t quite as terrible. It took him 79 games to hit 20 bombs last year too, so he is well on his way to 40+ only this year he’s got an OPS (.909) about 100 points higher and slashing .287/.379/.530 versus .259/.304/.511 in 2025. His June has been straight fire, .302/.384/.593 with seven homers. How about Junior June! Ehh, we’ll workshop it. Regardless of what we call him, call him without a doubt one of the best players in the game and make no mistake he’s nobody’s Junior.

Payton Tolle – 7.0 IP, 1 hit, 0 ER, 2 BB, 7 K, 4th win. Yanks gotta pay the troll Tolle to pass or for who the Bellinger Tolles? Its so 2026 Red Sox to go and steal this series from one of the best teams in the league. Payton Tolle has been the sunshine on the Red Sox darkest days. With very little to root for this year, Payton and his 2.78 ERA and 69/20 K/BB has been a revelation, but it’s his quirkiness and personality that make him so endearing and have kept me from the ledge. He’s a character! I can’t remember an athlete who’s been so good with the media. The guy is a quote machine. He’s like David Wells had a baby with Ron Swanson and Kenny Powers. I can’t even pick a favorite moment. Battling the flu and pumped full of Dayquil, Tolle retired the first 16 batters he faced, needing just 51 pitches to get through the first five innings. He struck out the side in a 10 pitch second that was particularly impressive. It’s starts like these that make it seem like the Red Sox aren’t the worst team in the entire league.

Will Warren – 5.2 IP, 7 hits, 5 ER, 2 BB, 0 K, 3rd L. Oh, Willie, what are we gonna do with you. June has not been kind to Warren, 5.49 ERA, opponents hitting .329 off him, with just a 14/10 K/BB. His last quality start and win was way back in May when the Yankees still had Judge and the Knicks weren’t even World Champions. NYC City was a different place back then. His team makes him a little easier to roster, and hopefully he turns things around in July but his leash just got a lot shorter for me and he’s not doing much to save his rotation spot when/if Fried ever returns.

Willson Contreras – 2-for-3, HR (17), 2 RBI. I always hated this guy before he came to Boston, but it’s hard to hate on this. To the moon! She’s a beaut, Clark! He got HBP his next at bat and had some words for Warren which caused the benches to clear. They asked him about it postgame and he said it’s just part of the game. Lol. His game maybe. Literally no player wants to brawl more than Willson Contreras. The ultimate instigator and honestly you gotta love him for it.

Caleb Durbin – 2-for-4, 2 runs. He was a BUY and the home run Durbin is literally one of the hottest hitters in all of baseball, hitting .458 in the past week with a homer and two steals. He slashed .333/.364/.625 in June with five homers and a .989 OPS. He actually has more home runs and RBI than Alex Bregman in case you care. Caleb got a bad rep because he was supposed to replace Devers and Bregs, and he happened to be the return for Kyle Harrison who looks like a Cy Young. But he was never gonna be Devers and the Brewers turn every pitcher into a Cy Young basically. Turns out Durbin is not that terrible at all, just don’t look at his baseball savant page because it is in fact, pretty terrible.

Nathan Eovaldi – 7.0 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, BB, 9 K, 8th win, ERA at 3.95. That’s more like the EVO I’m used to! I like it virgin, but it doesn’t need to be extra virgin. Just a little virgin is fine!

Kazuma Okamoto – 2-for-4, HR (19), 2 RBI. The Okamoto bomb! Is it okay to make bomb jokes with the Japanese players? Feels weird. Anyway, Kaz is hitting .455 with four homers and 11 RBI (ELEVEN) over the past week. Yes, I am playing him in head-to-head this week how did you know? He’s slashing .325/.389/.638 in June with seven homers and a 1.026 OPS. He leads the Jays with 19 bombs. No other Blue Jay has 10. Was he supposed to be this good? Is he better than Mune? Fun fact: You know who leads all American League players in All Star votes this year? No, not Okamoto, that would actually make sense. It’s Ernie Clement!

Wyatt Langford – 3-for-5, run. He’s hitting .390 in the past two weeks with six homers, 15 RBI and 3 steals! Someone’s ready for their own Yellowstone spinoff.

Zack Wheeler – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, BB, 5 K, 8th win, ERA at 2.03. I know we talk about Mattingly turning the Phils season around but didn’t Wheeler return around the same time, maybe a week before? I think having an Ace stopper like Wheeler is so important when preventing skids and losing streaks and the Phillies now have two. Don’t get me wrong, Mattingly has been great, the sideburns gots to go though.

Zach Thornton – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, ER, BB, 7 K. With all the money in that Mets payroll how do they have so many rookie starters this year. Where’s all this money going? Bo Bichette?

Trea Turner – 2-for-4, run, RBI. Obligatory good game after Grey tells you to sell. Can we get a Gunnar Henderson SELL PLEASE? I need this.

Bryce Harper – 2-for-4, RBI. He’s hitting .517 with three homers in the past week, but he brushes his teeth like everybody else: by sucking toothpaste directly from the tube into his mouth and then applying it to his teeth with his brush.

Joey Cantillo – 6.0 IP, 2 hits, ER, 2 BB, 9 K. The velocity is up and the curveball is rocking, did Joey unlock something? He had 18 whiffs on Friday, 10 on the curveball, and a 38% CSW. After an eight inning masterpiece versus the Stros last week he follows it up with this gem? Yes please! Are we breaking out finally? If so please let me know beforehand. This is a weak M’s lineup but Cantillo is starting to rely on his curve much more and has seen some velo gains that could make the lefty a real interesting add. He gets the Rangers at home next week and I could see considering the prospect of maybe thinking about mulling over the possibility of contemplating whether or not I should review the option of potentially picking him up. I still don’t know for sure, though!

Cooper Ingle – 0-for-2, BB. The Guards top prospect was slashing .284/.416/.551 with 12 homers before the call up. He was primarily a catcher but should see some time in the outfield. Two catcher leagues he’s instantly interesting. With a name like Cooper, let’s hope he can barrel.

Luis Castillo – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, BB, 4 K, 3rd win. This was the battle of Castillo and Cantillo and oh boy would that sell some t-shirts! He struggled early in the year but has really come out of it since they threatened to send him to the pen. That never should have been a thing. I know Hancock has been good but seniority rules in baseball. Thems the stupid and unspoken rules we all hate and want to change mostly. But they’re still the rules.

Colt Emerson – 1-for-2, 2 runs, HR (7). All he does is hit home runs! That’s a 35 home run hitter, folks.

Jacob Misiorowski – 6.0 IP, 2 hits, ER, 4 BB, 8 K, 9th win. When the Mis is mid. I kid! The Cubs, or at least PCA, have been one of the hottest teams in baseball this month and Jacob halted that right in its tracks. We ain’t the Mets, he said. Here he is throwing 105 to Pete. His face will turn blue like his hair after seeing cheese like that. He didn’t allow a hit through the first four innings before giving up a Seiya later homer in the fifth. He was throwing 103 mph on his 107th pitch of the night. Mmm. He ends his June with three wins, a 0.82 ERA, 0.64 WHIP, 38/8 K/BB with opponents hitting just .128 off him. His May was somehow significantly better if you can somehow believe it but that’ll do Mis.

Colin Rea – 5.0 IP, 5 hits, ER, 3 BB, 4 K. I think he went toe-to-toe with Misiorowski as respectably as he could here, but he couldn’t even throwover 102 mph. Pfft. Nice try, loser.

William Contreras – 2-for-3, HR (9), 2 RBI. He’s hitting .545 with three homers over the past week including this 450 foot moonshot. These Contreras bros are something else. Do they age? No wonder Venezuela won the WBC.

Taj Bradley – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, 3 BB, 7 K. It was the Rockies on the road, the Rocky Road is oh so sweet. Talk about a cherry on top! Still credit where credit’s due. He was a BUY and I’d gladly Bradley In Houston next week.

Royce Lewis – 3-for-5, RBI. Hit the game winning walk-off in the 10th. His power surge has cooled but he’s got a seven game hitting streak which for a player like Royce is significant. The strikeouts are troubling too, especially for a player who doesn’t really walk at all. I hope he’s back back, but I’m not quite sure he’s back yet.

Kody Clemens – 1-for-4, 2 runs, HR (12), 2 RBI. He seems to be cooling off a bit after an unreal start to the month but .256/.307/.537 slash this month with six homers is amongst his career best. I asked Claude to give me his career best monthly slashes and his May 2025 was, well what does AI know anyway? I’m sure Rocket Dad is very proud of his boy regardless.

Tomoyuki Sugano – 5.0 IP, 8 hits, 7 ER, BB, 2 K, ERA at 4.80. Tomo arigato, Mr. Sugano translates to “thank you may, sir, I have another.”

Jake McCarthy – 3-for-5, 2 runs, HR (6), 2 RBI. J-Mac is hitting .386 over the past two weeks with two homers and a steal. When he was a DBag you couldn’t wait to own this schlub, but now that he’s a Rockie he’s got the hantavirus? He leads off and is slashing .303/.343/.486 and the Rox are at Coors all next week. Yes, you should probably add him, no?

Hunter Goodman – 1-for-4, HR (22), 3 RBI. You’re a good man, Goodman and this shot claimed the lead in the ninth in what was a wild game the Rockies ultimately lost because they’re the Rockies after all. But as far as ROI on draft day, Hunter has more than paid off. He was a financially sound investment.

Max Meyer – 7.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, 9th win. No one had a higher stuff grade than Max Friday night. If it looks like and Ace, and it smells like Axe Pro body wash, it’s probably kind of basically an Ace, no? His third straight win as he moves to 9-0 which ties the best record to start a season for a Marlin in ever! Livan Hernandez, Max Power is coming for your record! Also, the Marlins have won seven of their last eight and have I mentioned I think the the Fish possibly, maybe, feasibly, potentially, conceivably, perchance, could be a wagon, y’all!? Marlins baseball! Get Hooked!

Esteury Ruiz – 2-for-2, 2 runs, 2 SB (16), .273/.374/.545. He was a BUY, and for all the combinations the Marlins have tried at lead off why not Estuery? He could literally be a league winner leading off. Currently, his value is capped by the platoon, but maybe he’ll play his way out of it. Miami plays at Coors and Sacramento next week and he’s worth adding based on that sched alone.

J.T. Ginn – 6.0 IP, 8 hits, 3 ER, BB, 5 K, 6th win, ERA at 3.15. There were three streams I was considering yesterday and I couldn’t decide so I went with none of them and they all won and pitched well and now I have the luxury of no decision today and must start Andre Pallante. Fingers crossed this is not going to end well for me.

Henry Bolte – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBI, SB (10). Thunderstruck! If his walk-up song isn’t ACDC or “Thunder” by Imagine Dragons he’s doing it wrong. It’s electric! Bolte needs to bring the thunder and is infinitely more interesting if he continues leading off. I’m watching him closer than I watched Offcampus, which is slightly better than Heated Rivalry for hockey drama. What can I say I love the sport!

Jo Adell – 1-for-5, HR (11), 2 RBI. It took a long time and a few key injuries but it’s finally come to fruition. Adell is, at last, the best player on the Angels. It’s what all the scouts and pundits predicted would happen when he was drafted. We need to thank Mr. General Manager Perry Minasian who made it all possible, and we wish him best of luck in his job search.

Mookie Betts – 1-for-3, HR (10). Mookie Best! I had this dream where the Red Sox finally made a trade for a right-handed bat and it was Mookie. Dodgers salary dump and we’re reunited at last! And he had no place to stay since he lives in LA now so he asked to crash at my place and I let him, and I slept on the floor and it was three months of pure bliss and a little back pain and we played COD every night and had nachos and the Red Sox still missed the playoffs but I had to wash my sheets twice after I woke up. Can’t blame a guy for dreaming!

Roki Sasaki – 4.0 IP, 3 hits, 3 ER, 5 BB, 2 K, 5th L. There was a stretch there he was looking like a league winning add. That was like three weeks ago. Notsomuch now. Things change. He’s given up 13 runs since then. The US is good at soccer now. We’ve moved on. We don’t want any more Superman movies like this. The dog is cute but everything else has to go. The walks might be down a bit but as long as the ERA is that close to five I cannot fox with that. Even on the Dodgers.

Walker Buehler – 5.1 IP, 3 hits, ER, 3 BB, 5 K, 5th win. Here, Ben Stein! Buehler put together a dominant June with a 1.71 ERA, and 27/8 K/BB. He got a nice little revenge win versus the Dodgers last night and that surely has to be the peak of his redemption arc, right? It’s all downhill from here and methinks a start at summertime Wrigley next week seems like the perfect place for the freefall to begin. It’s been real, WB!

Ty France – 1-for-3, HR (10). Someone was excited about Ousmane Dembélé’s hat trick! Yeah all, I watch soccer now. Duh. A real hooligan if you will. I definitely didn’t google the spelling of that guy’s name either. France is the favorite you think I don’t know their squad? You think I don’t know Norway benched all their starters? You think I don’t know some fans paid thousands of dollars to see Erling Haaland live in a world cup game and he didn’t even play? I know ball now! Futbol!

Kyle Tucker – 0-for-3. He was pinch hit for in the ninth by Miguel Rojas, who has an identical .700 OPS to Tucker but is making about $60 million less a year. Poor man’s Kyle Tucker indeed! The pinch hit could have had more to do with Tucker’s nagging injury in a game that was all but over but still not a great look for LA’s new star player and I’m gonna highlight it because its really fun to see the Dodgers be bad at things once in a while.

Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!