Juan YePez Dispensing Hits Like Candy

If the plural of “yippee” is now Yepez then Washington Nationals first baseman Juan Yepez is giving Nats fans a lot to cheer about lately. The former Cardinal carried his hot streak from pre-break to post-break with a monster game Friday night going 2-for-4 with a 3-run home run to extend Washington’s lead to six runs in the rout. Yippees Yepez! Since his call up on July 5th, Juan has hit safely in all eleven games he’s played, including four straight multi-hit games to bring his average to .390. He’s also scored eight runs, stole a base, and the ding dong last night gives him six runs batted in. He’s not typically a major power hitter, but Yepez has been known to get hotter than a Sean Evans YouTube talk show about chicken and that looks like exactly what he’s doing right now. He was tearing up AAA pitching throughout June before his call up and I remember back in the summer 2022, *wavy lines flashback* Yepez helped get me through a particularly rough stretch with his consistently. He debuted in May 2022 with a seven game hitting streak, including two home runs, and went on to finish the month slashing .278/.340/.456 and had an even better .292/.312/.583 slash in June with five bombs before completely bottoming out in July before hitting the injured list. So what does all this mean? It means he’s a professional hot schmotato with a track record for getting hot, hot, hot like the hot tub, Axel F! Can he keep this up!? For a little while longer, why not!? He’s got some pretty nice protection now in James “whatshegunnado?” Wood, and some speedy baserunners to drive home so while he’s hitting all the baseballs I think he’s absolutely worth a flier everywhere. If your first base situation is as dire as mine, a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash, where no light can escape, and the very air you breathe is poisonous fume, then a player like Juan Yepez, batting in the heart of the line up with a .468 OBP and hitting the ball hard is a very welcome sight! Sure, know what you’re getting here, he’s not going to hit 20 home runs, or even 10, but as far as waiver wire fodder goes I’d buy Yepez for all the yippees he’s got in him. Get him while he’s hot!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Patrick Corbin – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 6 K, 2nd win. This was vintage Corbin! Like 2016 all over ? Wait–when did they win again? It was like that! Look at this slider slide! Oh it was his bday, too, how fun! Go shawty! I give Corbin a lot of ish because he has been VERY generously paid for his 5+ ERA over the past two years, also he’s a bit of a MAGA freak and his contract along with Stras’ could be crippling this franchise, but hey at least he’s not Frankie Montas (4.2 IP, 6 hits, 7 ER, 3 BB, 3 K).

Elly De La Cruz – 1-for-5, SB (47). Jacob Young – 2-for-3, 2 SB (22). These might be two of the speediest teams in the league. Seven steals in this game, what’s the O/U for the series? Smash the over!

Rece Hinds – 1-for-4, 2 K. So how much of your FAAB did you blow on Hinds, and do you have any left for Juan Yepez? Is this dude about to fall to Earth quicker than Iron Man? Sorry, I’ve been on a Marvel kick lately. Deadpool 3 is so Taylor Swift coded! Let Dazzler Dazzle!

Ryne Nelson – 5.2 IP, 3 hits, ER, 2 BB, 9 K, 7th win. I would never be so irresponsible as to recommend a DBacks starting pitcher but credit where credit is due, Ryne is putting together a heck of  July: 2-0, 2.22 ERA, 22/4 K/BB, opponents hitting just .195 against him. Yeah! Not bad! So, I just fully jinxed him I’m assuming for his last start in July next week, and I’d add all the KC bats you can, but Nelson, I would not add him yet no.

Justin Steele – 4.2 IP, 9 hits, 5 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, 4th L. The Man of Steele was trending up, up, and away after two spectacular starts pre-break but this is a bit of a step backwards. With early screenshots of Superman film looking underwhelming Deadpool could be ready to deal the final blow to DCU next week.

Oneil Cruz – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBI. Speaking of super, the Cruz missile hit a 120 mph double last night, which is about as hard as a baseball can and has ever been hit. It’s a lot faster than it sounds, and I’m sure it sounds a lot faster than it looks, too. He hit another missile in the 9th with two men in scoring position, a chopper hit that hard is probably very difficult to field and OC put his team in position to win the game and they did! A huge comeback over the supposed best team in baseball. SO it’s finally happening. Oneil Cruz is doing all the little things on the diamond to help his team win, including just hitting the baseball as hard as humanly possible, and hitting .367 in the past two weeks. Is he going to carry me to fantasy glory? Are the Pirates a wagon? How can I make this post about Paul Skenes? Skenes is clearly creating a winning culture in Pittsburgh that all the players are latching onto and the Cruz Missile respects that because Skenes is the only player almost as tall as him.

Trea Turner – 1-for-4, 2 runs, HR (12), 2 RBI. That’s TreaT’s ninth bombo in July, third game in a row with a jack, fourth in his last five games, fifth in his last seventh, seventh in his last 10 games–okay, you get the idea. Our friend is very hot right now. Much like the weather. Summer, amiright! I’m sure you all can relate. Climate be crazy. Having hit just three home runs in the previous three months, the nine in July puts him on a career high pace for him. TreaT can take some time to get going sometimes but when he does, hoo boy, watch out! There’s few better! You earned your cookie!

Weston Wilson – 3-for-5, HR (1), 2 RBI. First major league home run of the year for the 30-year old not-a-rookie. I’m not going to pretend I know much about Weston Wilson, whose first name I hoped was Woodrow in the box score. But he did see some time in the majors last year, and holds a bunch Iron Pigs home run records. Philadelphians can share the legend of Weston over a refreshing water ice better than I can but he’s likely here to platoon with Marsh and hit dingers into seats. What more do you need to know?

Jose Alvarado – 0.1 IP, 2 hits, 2 ER, BB, K. This is mostly classic Alvarado-style. We can sort of blame Oneil Cruz for this, and sort of blame Bryson Stott for not fielding an 100 mph chopper properly, but Alvarado gets the blown save, and it’s a wonder if Jeff Hoffman gets the next chance, as he’s been getting a lot of them recently anyway.

Gerrit Cole – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, ER, BB, 8 K, 3rd win. Back to back quality starts and wins for Cole and he still scares the heck out of me but if anyone could skip Tommy John surgery and just “play it out” it’s this guy. He’s probably still a sell, but I’m not betting against the reigning Cy Young either.

Juan Soto – 4-for-4, 3 runs, 2 doubles, slashing .303/.433/.569. Someone realized if he doesn’t outperform his teammate Judge he might not get a contract as big as AJ’s either. He’s got multi-hit games in five of his last six and is playing for that payday! If a giant contract for Soto isn’t something baseball fans want to root for I don’t know what is. Let’s mic up Livvy Dunne for all the games, why stop at the All-Star game? Surely baseball fans will love that.

Zach Eflin – 5.0 IP, 7 hits, 4 ER, 4 BB, 5 K. This was not a great match up for Eflin and expectations were low but he shut down this same Yankees squad for seven innings and one run last week at home and still lost so let’s blame this sad Rays offense and move on.

Jack Flaherty – 5.2 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, BB, 8 K, 7th win. His blemish was allowing a SHOT to Vlad Guerrero but Jack continues to look elite outside of that, with 17 swings and misses on 98 pitches Friday night. His stats are spectacular: 3.13 ERA, 0.96 WHIP, and that 127/17 K/BB brings a tear to my eye. He sure would look good in a [insert your home team’s name] uniform. If you’re thinking there’s no great starters available at the deadline you don’t know Jack.

Chris Bassitt – 6.2 IP, 7 hits, 5 ER, BB, 6 K, 8th L, ERA at 3.71 ERA. Along with Flaherty, Bassitt and him are two top trade starting pitching trade candidates, outside of Garrett Crochet who I’d assume will cost the farm to acquire. I wonder where the idiom “cost the farm” originates from because it really works for baseball!

Wenceel Perez – 2-for-4, HR (6), 2 RBI. He’s leading off, for a terrible team, but he’s still leading off and has hit safely in nine of his last 11 games (ELEVEN)!  He’s got some pop and some speed and not a lot of either but if you continue to bat first you have my attention. Mostly because I zone out after the third inning.

Vladimir Guerrero Jr. – 1-for-4, HR (15), 2 RBI, slashing .288/.358/.461. George Springer also homered (11). I told you this was a bomb! The blue Blue Jays (blue as in sad I assume) GM says they intend to keep all their core players at the deadline, including Basshitt and Bishitte, but how fun would it be to see Vladdy moved at the deadline! Put this man in a playoff race! But back to that dinger, 117.5 mph off the bat! Apple TV gave this hit a 3% chance of being a home run and that’s exactly why I don’t ask Apple for the weather anymore.

Tyler Holton – 1.0 IP, SV (3). Jason Foley had to take care of some risky business and pitched a clean inning 8th for his 5th hold. Foley probably still your closer for now, nothing to see here yet!

Sean Manaea – 5.0 IP, 8 hits, 5 ER, BB, K, 4th L. I came so close to streaming him but I waited, and waited, and when another person added him I cursed myself for waiting and then it all worked out so well! Well, not for the guy who added him. Manaea didn’t look necessarily that bad the Marlins just came out firing, possibly upset none of them made the All-Star team. Or maybe one of them did? Who would notice?

Edward Cabrera – 4.2 IP, 5 hits, ER, 5 BB, K. You’re a wild one, Mr. Cabrera!

Tanner Scott – 1.1 IP, K, SV (15). Grey told you to BUY. If he’s not a Yankee by the end of the month I’ll be pretty shocked. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if most of these Marlins are Yankees by the end of the month, even if Jeter isn’t in charge anymore, does anyone actually believe he’s not still pulling the string?

Jeff McNeil – 3-for-4, 2 HR (7), 3 RBI. His first two dong game in five years! Also, that’s a four game hitting streak, and in addition to the two ding dongs he made this impressive catch! IS JMC about to turn his whole season around?! I guess Jeff just got the memo that the Mets are trying to be good now. Apparently, he’s more of a Burger King guy cause this homer was a whopper!

Jake Burger – 2-for-4, HR (11). Hey! Speaking of Burger Kings, Jake was having it his way with the Mets staff Friday night. He caught up to that cheese, Burger! Mets could not, dot, dot, dot…ketchup. Of course, I like what Burger’s doing but I really hope my team doesn’t trade for him.

Jazz Chisholm Jr. – 2-for-5, run, SB (19). Remember when he was on the cover of The Show? Me neither! That was last year! Big yikes! Regardless, now would be a really good time to get hot, Jazz.

Tanner Bibee – 5.2 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 3 BB, 3 K, 8th win. P’Dres team is looking pretty sorry without FTJ. The Profar regression is not going to be pretty.

Steven Kwan – 2-for-4, run, SB (6). If this dude just stole more bases he could be a top 25 player and on all my teams. You hear me, Kwan!? Don’t you want that for us?

Corbin Burnes – 6.0 IP, 2 hits, ER, 4 BB, 6 K, 10th win. Not sure I’ve ever seen a player start an All-Star game then start a regular season game two days later but he only threw an inning Tuesday and dude is trying to get paid so you do you, CB!

Nathan Eovaldi – 5.0 IP, 8 hits, 6 ER, 2 K, 4th L. This was an obvious buzz-saw start for EVO and he probably could have gone his six innings if he could have stopped giving up home runs. Nasty Nate should have a much easier go next week versus the White Sox assuming he doesn’t get traded first.

Gunnar Henderson – 4-for-5, 3 runs. He was limping into the All-Star break, well in a Gunnar Henderson limping way (5-26). Gunnar in a slump is still a better start than 90% of the league’s players. Either way, looks like the “slump” is behind him.

Anthony Santander – 3-for-5, 2 HR (26), 5 RBI. Colton Cowser (13) and Adley Rutschman (17) also homered. Tony Taters is taking his 26 tanks (including this one) to the bank, Santander bank! In other words, my dude is about to get paid. His .826 OPS is a career high, and this is his third straight season of 25+ jacks, well on his way to 30+. I’m a bigger fan-tander than anyone, but if I were the O’s I’d trade him for a top end starter, mostly so I wouldn’t have to pay him next year. At least that’s what I did in the Show.

Michael Wacha – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, BB, 7 K, 7th win. The joke’s on you! Wacha has won his third in a row and has 10 straight starts allowing three earned runs or less! Yeah, no joke! Somehow he’s still available in 80% of ESPN leagues. But those are all run by AI now anyway, right?

Bobby Witt Jr. – 3-for-3, HR (17), 2 RBI. That one was for you, Teoscar! Something told me after watch BWJ in the derby (yes, I watched! yes it was mostly boring!) he was going to come out of the break swinging and on fuego. And he did this! His fifth jack in July, after hitting just three in June, and he’s batting .447 this month. Honestly, I think this Royals team could really make some noise if they could add another bat. Anthony Santander, perhaps!?

Brenton Doyle – 2-for-4, HR (16), 2 RBI. The hottest player in baseball not named Livvy Dunne continued to do what he do, be the hottest thing alive. His ninth home of the month, yes NINE, and five in his last seven games. Sweet sassy molassy! Oh, Doyle rules! Is he the waiver wire add of the year? He’s batting .429 with 17 RBI in July and carrying your team! Not his team though, they’re still terrible.

Kyle Harrison – 5.0 IP, 1 hit, 0 ER, 4 BB, 6 K. Imagine the nasty things he’s writing in the Burn Book right now about those fugly [expletive deleted] in the bullpen. Can’t really blame him, they gave up seven runs in three innings. I know it’s Coors but it’s also giving disrepect to Kyle.

Lawrence Butler – 2-for-4, run, 2 RBI. Almost your lede! Probably should have been! The A’s have now scored 31 runs in their past two games so it’s probably time we took a look at why. I’ll get a Clue and tell you the Butler could be responsible. Fresh off his three homer game, LB is hitting everything right now slashing .333/.375/.867 in July with seven home runs, 19 RBI and 2 steals. Did I mention he’s leading off? That was a trick question, because I just mentioned it now! You should probably add him everywhere, huh? That’s rhetorical! Do it! The Butler is here to serve!

Shea Langeliers – 1-for-4, HR (18), 2 RBI. Oh, man why does he always homer on Fridays! He insists on getting Sia stuck in my head with his swing like a Langelierrrrrrsssss! And he knows I’ll almost definitely spell his name wrong. It’s Shea not Shane! It’s Shea not Shane!

Max Schuemann – 3-for-4, 3 runs, HR (6), 4 RBI. Schuemann’s got sole! Much like his bestie Butler, Max is having an insane July slashing .390/.490/.634 with an 1.124 OPS, he’s also got three homers and 4 steals. You could say Schuemann’s starting the break off on the right…foot. If you add two Oakland outfielders this week I promise I won’t judge you too hard, I did.

Zach Neto – 3-for-4, HR (13). Nolan Schanuel also homered HR (9). Neto has been somewhat of bright spot for these Angels’ darkest days. But when you lose by 10 to the A’s it’s hard to find bright spots. Oof, what is that spot? Has that always been there? You should really get that looked at.

Hunter Brown – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, 3 BB, 5 K, 8th win. Brown Town has become one of the league’s most dominant starters after being the league’s most hittable in April/May! Whata turnaround for Brown!

Nick Pivetta – 6.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, BB, 8 K. Gawrsh, Pivetta can deal when he wants to! I was a little worried after back to back starts versus Miami and Oakland Nick was due for a reality check but he cruised through this LAD lineup without issue. He’s got a 28/5 K/BB in July and gets the Rox at Coors next week.  I could see considering the prospect of maybe thinking about mulling over the possibility of contemplating whether or not I should review the option of potentially picking him up. I still don’t know for sure though! Who am I kidding, I’m starting him!

Gavin Stone – 5.0 IP, 6 hits, ER, 3 K. You’d have to have stones like Gavin to start him here after giving up 8 runs, 19 base runners over his past 7.2 IP but the youngster had his off speed stuff working for him Friday and delivered. Stone’s name has been floated in some trade talks and I think some team will be lucky to have him. I’ll take him!

Freddie Freeman  – 1-for-4 Grand Slam HR (15), slashing .291/.394/.497. Remember last week when I called on F² for a power barrage to end all power barrages even though he hasn’t been struggling at all he just needs to find a new gear and pull the Dodgers out of this slump? Well, you’re welcome! But honestly, you should probably thank Manager Cora for the baffling decision to internationally walk Will Smith to face Freeman with the bases loaded. AC, you okay? I know, it’s a long season.

Jarren Duran  – 2-for-4, HR (11), slashing .286/.344/.488. Your All-Star MVP starting the post-break off in style! I was a Duran mega-stan two years ago. He was hitting all the baseballs and many were just waiting for the shoe to drop and it did so hard culminating in this play which I will never not think about when I see him. It’s hard to believe that this is the same player who refuses to take a day off this year and hustles on every ground out and is more or less carrying a Boston lineup despite all the analytics saying his stats are going to plummet. Well, Duran’s got a personal motto that has garnered him numerous fines just this year and it’s time maybe we all adopt his mantra in fantasy and beyond. F ’em! That’s what I say to the nerds who say Rece Hinds can’t keep up this pace or that Ranger Suarez is going to regress! Ex-wife hates your guts? Girlfriend says you talk about fantasy too much? Grocery store clerk who thinks that’s too many frozen burritos and/or uncrustables for one person? F ’em! That’s what we say when they tell us that we can’t come back from 12th place in late-July. Let’s prove ’em all wrong like Jarren!

Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!