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How’s everyone doing without baseball every day? I’m doing great! I walked into a Jersey Mike’s and told them a story about a Mike I knew from Jersey who owed me money, and told them I wouldn’t be paying for my sub. They can take it out of the money Mike owes me. The police, who were called, were not at all sympathetic about the lunchmeat that was owed to me! I want my cold cuts, I screamed! I then cackled for 45 minutes until the guy with the freshly-sliced roast beef hand-fed me slices in the back of the police cruiser to get my blood sugar back up. One guy who’s got my blood boiling is Luis Castillo. Listen, Kevin Gausman is Kevin Gonesomewhereelseman. Think we all know that. Are we aware that Luis Castillo seems as bad off? His Ks? In the trash. His velocity? In the compactor. His command? Still fine, tee bee aitch. Something is not right here. I purposely put him in a group of schmohawks in the top 100 for the 2nd half. He’s currently a two-pitch pitcher, and one of those is his falling-velo fastball. Speaking of falling, his sinker ain’t. His change isn’t working as well because there’s not as much a separation between that and his fastball. Oh, and last year he was better in the 1st half of the season. Um, yikes. Whatever the case, I don’t think he’s an ace anymore. Do others think he is? Then you can move him. I wouldn’t trade Luis Castillo for a handful of hand lotion from a stranger, but I would go to our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

SIKE! This post was released on Wednesday for Patreon members. It will be released all year early for Patreons, so if people are getting a jump on you, it’s because they paid the $10. Anyway, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell:

BUY

Logan O’Hoppe – As might already be clear from this post, unlike past Buy/Sells, this is for trading, because there were hardly any games between last week’s and this week’s. Do I still love Ben Rice? Oh, yeah! Go back to last week’s Buy/Sell and see those names. I would actually trade for Rice too. Any hoo! Or rather, any O’hoo! Logan O’Hoppe can be a top three catcher for the 2nd half. Would I really trade for a catcher? No, prolly not, but if you’re throwing in a guy, maybe you can get him thrown in? I don’t know, I’m riffing here!

Paul Goldschmidt – Been known to go on a 2nd half heater. Do I really believe that will happen? Hmm…Not entirely, but the price to acquire him couldn’t be lower.

Michael Busch – His Ks are not amazing, but does one not respect the Three True Outcome player anymore? Have we abandoned The Donkey profile? No, we have not! Shame on you! Can you get Busch without being a nerd chasing a Pi Delta Pi? Then I like that.

Brooks Baldwin – Called up by the White Sux. As mentioned numerous times, this post is guys rostered in 50% or more leagues. If I wanted to mention hot bats who were rostered in less I’d say Lawrence Butler or Michael Toglia or Rece Hinds. Man, would I mention Rece Hinds. I’d mention Rece Hinds so much, you’d call me a Hindsie, a known fan of Hinds. Us Hindsies be Hinds fans always. Any hoo! Baldwin is not rostered in any leagues, but was called up. Itch said of him, “Brooks refuses to make outs, slashing .406/.454/.566 with one home run and three steals. He reminds me a little of Brewers hit machine Mike Boeve in that he’s from a smallish school (UNC Wilmington) and might not offer much power or speed, but his hit tool is still seeking its level. One difference here is Baldwin plays for the White Sox and might not garner a Boeve-ian level of intrigue around the echo chamber. Not a torture chamber, that’s where I’d put Grey.” What even? I have only grabbed Baldwin in AL-Only leagues, but maybe this Sunday in FAAB in 15-team mixed leagues, if the Sux play him this weekend. They did just sign Nick Senzel, which would signal there’s other moves coming. We shall see! Or not. Your choice.

Brent Rooker – Singing Seasons of Love from the musical, Rent, “In five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes…How do you measure a year in the life of B. Rent?” You can start with his Statcast, which is gorgeous. I get it, he’s 29 years old. Hey, he’s a later-blooming late-bloomer than Catholic schoolgirls, according to Billy Joel. He is neutrally a 30-plus homer, .260+ hitter, even with the Ks, which he has.

Ceddanne Rafaela – One thing I’ve noticed from answering a few hundred comments a day — people don’t put the most important information in their comments, like how many teams are in their league. Second thing I’ve noticed is no one respects what Cedanne’s done this year. As of this writing he’s been about as valuable as Corey Seager. Um, Seager’s played basically the whole 1st half. Ceddanne had 14 more at-bats than him. Guys and five girls, speed and power rules for fantasy value. Seager not getting steals means he has to get twice as many homers. He has not done that. Welp, this is a buy on Ceddanne and sell on Seager.

Blake Snell – In general, I think 2nd half splits are nonsense. Just bunk. Useless. So, here’s where I say they matter, Snell can’t be much worse and his peripherals aren’t that bad. You know I don’t like Snell in general. Snell ya later! But his price is so cheap to acquire, I’d grab him in a trade. Snell ya now!

Jose Soriano – Unlike the rest of this post, these guys are under 50% rostered. Soriano is a Streamonator call, like the call it makes to Ace Hardware.

Chris Paddack – This is also a Streamonator call. “Can you put me through to the cash register in aisle three? No, not cashier. The actual register.”

Tanner Scott – So, everyone is saying to sell Scott. And maybe that’s the right move! What I know is his price won’t get any lower. Will he be traded from the Marlins? Right now, the Marlins would sell Billy Marlin if they could get something for that oversized plushie. Scott’s absolutely getting traded, but if it’s cheap to acquire him, why not in case he goes somewhere favorable? Right now, Scott’s the 5th best RP on the Player Rater. If he goes to the Yanks, maybe he replaces Holmes. If he goes to the O’s, maybe he replaces Kimbrel. If he goes to the Dodgers, maybe he replaces Phillips. Tanner Scott is changing teams, but maybe not roles.

SELL

Taylor Ward – Has he been good outside of April? The short answer is no. The long answer is noooooooooooooooo.

Kyle Finnegan – If he’s not traded, the Nats should be ashamed of themselves. Aren’t they already ashamed of themselves for letting Bryce Harper, Juan Soto and Trea Turner leave? Yeah, and Scherzer. But still, Finnegan should be traded, and likely won’t keep getting saves.

Marcus Semien – Just told you to Sell Semien in last week’s Buy/Sell. Ain’t becoming a sperm bank with saying to sell Semien every week, but I found this after, and thought I’d share. Here’s what I said last year, “You might’ve heard the shock in my voice when I was doing my top 100 for 2nd half, and came across Semien, excuse the wording. His counting stats are hiding how poorly his season is actually going. A 120+ runs and 100 RBIs pace will do that, but the speed is bleh and the power is meh. Looks like Semien is shot, just an empty barrel. Also, Corbin Carroll – It is with much regret I tell you I’m concerned about the shoulder. I’ve already told myself, if he holds up well this 2nd half, then I will be in next year. I can’t help to keep imagining that grimace when he swung and missed. Not talking about the giant purple McDonald’s character, I’m talking his facial expression. It look terrible. Hopefully he’s fine! Seriously, I am rooting for him, but I don’t buy it. Wouldn’t trade Corbin Carroll for a year pass to EquiKnox, the gym where one gets framed for murder in Italy and exercises by running out of the country, but I would go to our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options.” And that’s me quoting me! I wish March Grey knew to listen to last July Grey. Also, I should be selling advice to the Mets with my prescient Grimace knowledge.

Gerrit Cole – Could’ve looked at the top 100 for the 2nd half of 2024 fantasy baseball and I could’ve listed Max Scherzer and Tyler Glasnow too, and would you look at that! I just did!

Shohei Ohtani – Let me explain. Yes, I think Ohtani is the best player in baseball, and you can look at the top 100 for the 2nd half of 2024 fantasy baseball and see that. I don’t think an undercover officer is going to make a parlay too irresistible to Ohtani and catch him gambling. If I were Tucupita Marcano though? I would 100% be trying to do that. His best possibility to play baseball again is getting Ohtani caught and MLB changing their rules for him. Tucupita wearing a wire and a bad mustache, “Um, Mr. Ohtani, do you think Wyatt Langford will win the AL ROY? Yes? Then why not put some yen where your money is?” That’s not happening. Why am I saying to sell Ohtani? If you do, you might be able to fix multiple categories on your team. Same goes for Aaron Judge or any other top hitter. Look the B in BDon stands for batshizz crazy, but him trading Judge to me for Hader and Robert Suarez last week? Yes, it’s nuts, but he needed saves and had no other way of getting them. I’m not saying trade Ohtani for Josh Hader, but I would go to the Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options.