Yesterday, Jacob deGrom threw a complete game with 1 ER, 9 baserunners (4 BBs), 6 Ks, lowering his ERA to 4.33. Oh, his peripherals are beautiful. Velocity is fine, even up a tad up, and that’s not the new radar gun positioning talking. For what it’s worth, a radar gun can’t talk. His Ks are way up. Walks are up too, but not quite to the point where it justifies his four-plus ERA. His xFIP is even below where it was last year. So, what explains his mediocre ERA besides the general answer of: Mets gonna Mets? He’s not throwing his cutter or change nearly as much and is almost entirely relying on a slider and four-seam fastball. The change and cutter were never ‘big’ pitches for him, but mixing them in may have kept hitters honest like Abe Lincoln and iced tea. His slider this year is barely a positive pitch for him. Last year, it was a top 20 slider in the majors, right next to Sabathia, and that guy loves sliders! As with most things Mets pitchers-related, it’s a conundrum wrapped inside a forklift of fortune cookies that is wrapped inside a turkey. It’s called a turforkum. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jeurys Familia – Could resume throwing soon. That sigh of relief is from his family, glad he’ll be out of the house soon. “Why do you flinch when daddy sneezes?”
Asdrubal Cabrera – 2-for-4 and two homers (5, 6). I’m glad I streamed him for the batty call on one team, and also glad I dropped him before the first home run, because I might’ve fell in love and never dropped him. Nothing worse than falling in love with a batty call. Well, except getting a tattoo of your batty call, then four miserable years later, taking out a loan to pay for tattoo removal.
Jay Bruce – 3-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 17th homer. When you take off the 2nd half of the year, you have to get all your stats in by July.
Yoenis Cespedes – Left yesterday’s game with a sore heel. He’s been sidelined by a quad, a hamstring and now a heel. He should be playing murderball.
Kyle Schwarber – Out of the lineup again. I just thought of something, what if Schwarber isn’t good from April 1st thru September 30th, but we just didn’t know it last year because he was hurt? That wouldn’t be good for H2H leagues (or roto).
Kyle Hendricks – Could return this weekend from hand tendinitis. Fun fact! Instead of ‘counting Mississippis’ in baseball, they count injuries.
John Lackey – 5 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 1 K, ERA at 5.26. Looking at his teeth, I’m absolutely positive Lackey would be better at bobbing for apples than pitching.
Addison Russell – 1-for-2 and his 5th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Apparently, the sheer number of comments about dropping him hit critical mass and has moved him in a positive direction.
Jacob Faria – Recalled for today’s start vs. the BJ’s, which sucks, but I do like Faria. If you click his name, you’ll be magically transported to all the nice things I’ve said about Faria in the past. Faria won’t just be up for one start this time either since Matt Andriese will be sidelined for two months with a stress reaction in his hip. As Shakira would say, his hips don’t lie (flat).
Jameson Taillon – 5 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.90, as he was activated from the DL. Did you know one-ball Taillon goes well with Lionel Richie’s All Night Long?
Josh Harrison – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer, hitting .311. We should call him JoS. @ PNC Bank. Or not. But if we were, the men’s mass-retail clothier, JoS. @ PNC Bank, is hitting .300 in the last week with nothing really of note in the power or speed department. The fresh-to-def, classic black suits, though? JoS. @ PNC Bank has what you need.
Max Moroff – 0-for-2, 2 runs, 1 RBI, hitting .105 as he hit leadoff, because the Pirates have decided to throw in the Jolly Roger towel even though they are only about a week’s worth of games under .500. Culture of winning C**nt Hurdle is instilling, that’s what it is.
Trevor Story – 1-for-3, 1 RBI, hitting .206. He had 8 Ks in his past 0-for-11 before breaking out for a one-for-three. Lot of people are asking about him, so I looked and I’m here to report not-so-good news. I’d be shocked if he hits above .250. I think it’s just as likely he gets demoted. A warm Coors does funny things with a baseball and bladder, so there’s still a chance he has an April-of-2016 type July and August. Nothing in his stats is pointing to that right now.
Ryan Zimmerman – Missed his third straight game. Yeah, he’ll totally avoid the DL all year. Ow, eye roll headache.
Brian Goodwin – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer. The good, he’s hitting, has some speed and power. The bad, he’s splitting time with Ryan Raburn, the brother on Bloodline who can’t hit righties. In NL-Only leagues, no reason Goodwin can’t be a short-term add while Werth is on the mend.
Stephen Strasburg – 5 IP, 6 ER, 8 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.27. What a butter ratio start.
Matt Albers – 2/3 IP, 3 ER and the blown save. “Hey, hey, hey, it’s Matt Albers! Nah, nah, nah, gonna blow a Strasburg win!” I have Enny Romero in two leagues, but this is a shituation of epic proportions. Halp and I discuss it further on the podcast coming later today. It’s a hoot! Literally, I was dressed as an owl for the recording.
Trea Turner – 3-for-6, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer. I keep telling myself that Turner is going to catch fire like a lightning bug crawling into a gas tank. kUai`18h9–Sorry, fingers crossed.
Nick Markakis – 1-for-3, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. They should throw gyro meat on the field when Markakis hits a homer.
Matt Adams – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer, hitting .277. Plus, gyro meat on the field will be a good test for Adams’ weight loss. “I will not Oprah up. I am not a dieting yo-yo.” That’s Adams staying strong.
Matt Kemp – 2-for-5 and his 11th homer, hitting .327. I was about to start spouting about how he’s hitting way better than he has any right to, and, with his average, it’s true, but he hit 35 homers last year, so, if anything, he’s off pace on power, and, if I interrupt this sentence one more time, it will be a new world record.
Mike Foltynewicz – 3 1/3 IP, 8 ER, ERA at 4.37. More like Shizzynewicz. Stream-o-Nator hated this start, but hopefully those that started him in weekly leagues get a decent 2nd start to soften this blow.
Howie Kendrick – 3-for-6, 1 run, 1 RBI and three steals (5, 6, 7). Damn, I was thisclose to picking him up on the short schedule day. On the reals though, what’s with all the multiple steals games recently? MLB reinstate green M&M’s?
Rick Porcello – 6 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.67. Not an easy start for Porcello vs. the Phils, but they’re the 27th best offense! They are no pushovers like the Giants, Padres or Royals, I’ll tell ya that!
Hanley Ramirez – 1-for-5 and his 9th homer, hitting .249. He’s got this thing down pat where he does nothing for five days, then, right when you’re ready to drop him, he hits a solo homer and does just enough to stay on your team for another week.
Andrew Benintendi – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer, that’s his fourth homer in the last week. I know, I didn’t think it was that many either and I own him. He’s lulled me into thinking he’s hot when he’s not, and not hot when he is. He’s perpetual beer goggles.
Mookie Betts – 4-for-5, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 11th steal. Mookie Ballgame!
Tyson Ross – Could return to the rotation on Friday. How much do I trust him? I nearly dropped him today after hearing he was due to return. In the minors, he had a 7.71 ERA, so, uh, yeah.
Carlos Gomez – Could return this weekend. This will put him one step closer to his next DL stint. Of course, between the DL stints will come a period of enlightenment. Some people’s attitudes towards him will lighten, and think that’s what I ment.
Yu Darvish – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners (1 Hit), 4 Ks, ERA at 3.03. Pretty much shut the Astros up, and last week (or week before, they start running together) I told you to buy Darvish (relatively) low.
Nomar Mazara – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 8th homer. Mezuzah!
Lance McCullers – Hit the DL. MLB this year is like The Man in the High Castle and the Nazis won. I’m Frank and they’re taking all my Frink’ing starters! There was some rumors that the Astros are just conserving McCullers’ innings and he doesn’t really have an injury. Makes sense, and ‘lower back discomfort’ does sound make-believe like an Italian who isn’t a mama’s boy. Francis Martes will take McCullers’ start for a turn or two, and is not recommended.
Jose Pirela – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 1 RBI, hitting .500 thru a week of games. Hot schmotato alert!
Franchy Cordero – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. At least a few of you are like, “Franchy? Okay, Grey made up that name. It’s like Krispie Young or Moistasskiss or Moistasskrispie or whatevs.”
Masahiro Tanaka – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 6.07. His ERA is still over 6 and this was an easy matchup. I’d want to see at least two more starts before trusting Tanaka again.
Aaron Judge – 2-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 22nd homer. He gets to 30 homers (Mad Libs in date). The All-Star break? July 1st? Friday?
Didi Gregorius – 4-for-4, 2 RBIs, hitting .344. Yankees lead the majors in runs, OBP, homers, RBIs, SLG and OPS (I know, dur, but for the back of the room).
Kole Calhoun – 1-for-3 and his 10t homer. Hitting near-.375 in the last week and has five homers in June. Less than half the month is gone for those too lazy to scroll up and look at the date on this post or to look at your watch or glance at a calendar.
Jean Segura – Could be ready in a couple of weeks, and yesterday he took infield practice at Target Field. Next to the greeting cards and last-minute gifts that everyone knows are last-minute. “A mug that says ‘World’s Greatest Dad?’ Wow, thanks. Is this your brand-new Ban Roll-on in the bag with it?”
Danny Valencia – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer, hitting .269. Didn’t do much after I featured him in Friday’s Buy, and now I likely jinxed him again. My b.
Mitch Haniger – 4-for-6, 4 runs, 2 RBIs, hitting .348. I thought the long DL stint might’ve cooled him off completely, but maybe he’s not falling off like a dyslexic’s Haniger nail.
Mike Zunino – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer. Who’s Zunino’ing who?!
Ben Gamel – 2-for-4, 3 runs, hitting .331 and in the leadoff slot. At any moment, his brother, Mat, is definitely gonna break out, but, while we wait for it, I could see grabbing Ben.
Wade Miley – 2 1/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA up to 3.97. Bad week to quit barbiturates, terrible week to start Miley.
Trey Mancini – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 10th homer, hitting .289. You know what Mancini’s doing? A Hanley impersonation. Call him Manley Hancini.
Chris Davis – Left the game in the third inning of Monday’s game with an oblique strain right after weekly lineups locked. That’s swell. Just peachy. You’ve hit my soft spot between my funny bone and “I want to punch you in the face” bone. Let’s call it the FU Weekly Lineups bone.
Matt Davidson – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer, hitting .245. On our Player Rater, guess who’s higher: Davidson or Longoria? Okay, Longoria, but you had to think about it (for at least however long you paused at that question mark).
Kevan Smith – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer, hitting .224. You might know Kevan Smith from his film, Jay and Silent Bob Strikeout.
Leury Garcia – Underwent an x-ray on his injured hand. It’s all right, the White Sox have another Garcia to fill in. The White Sox are all about the GAGNOF.
