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Did you know Huascar Ynoa signed as a 16-year-old, when he was likely 10 years old, because the Braves scout players when they’re in Latin American T-ball? “The kid throws 97 as an 8-year-old, we might want to throw $500 his family’s way so he signs with us for twelve years.” That’s a Braves scout. By the way, according to prospect grades, Latin American T-ball is comparable to Double-A. If Huascar would’ve held out, he would’ve been a 1st round draft pick and everyone would be crazy about him. Ya know? Yeah, ya know Ynoa. He’s on the list of the top ten velocity increasers this year, up to 96+ MPH on his fastball, and he has two pitches — an 85 MPH slider is the other. Both are wipeout, bye-bye, ‘say hello to your mother for me’ type pitches. Yesterday, he had the most Ks for a 22-year-old Braves pitcher since 2013 (Teheran), going 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 0.75. With two pitches, he could get some mileage around the league once, twice, three times a Ynoa, or be out of the rotation in a few weeks. Absolutely would grab him in all leagues to see if he can keep it up each time around the track.
— Razzball (@Razzball) April 7, 2021
Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Adam Duvall – 1-for-3 and his 2nd homer. This was the 2nd batty call I’ve done of Duvall and each time he homered. That’s called living right. Now, excuse me one second, I have to soak my fingers, due to early on-set arthritis from typing. Hashtag winning.
Robbie Ray – 5 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners (3 BBs), 3 Ks, as he was activated from the IL. Only two more BBs than Rockin’ Robbie’s rockin’ in his Robbie name? A huge win. For Robbie, this is the same as a normal pitcher’s shutout. You’ve done it, Robbie! You only walked three guys! Robbie leans into a microphone, “I’d first like to thank–” Oh, sorry, Robbie, it took you too long to get on stage, your walks were too wild. Any hoo! I didn’t pick up Ray anywhere, but, yes, this was encouraging. Let’s see him do it for another start or three.
Kyle Higashioka – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and two homers (1, 2), hitting .571. It lasted a good ten days before calls to run Gary Sanchez out of town began again.
Lourdes Gurriel Jr. – 0-for-3 as he was activated from the IL. Kevin from ESPN’s “Get Him In Your Lineup” Department said, “Hey, I figured out how to change ‘Trash’ on my desktop so it reads, ‘Butt.’ Who wants to check it out?”
Tyler Glasnow – 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 14 Ks, ERA at 0.46. Can’t emphasis this enough, Glasnow looks incredible. Looks like the breakout is here. Still not counting on him for 150+ IP. I can also hold the thought in my head the Rangers are laughably bad. The Rangers won’t have more than one hitter have an average over .250 this year. Won’t happen. Israel Diner-Falafel is my best bet for .250+. They will also have a few guys hit below .220. They might have more than two regulars hit .190.
Willy Adames – 1-for-3 and his 2nd homer, hitting .242. Adames says, would you believe…a hot schmotato?
Dane Dunning – 4 IP, 0 ER, 5 Ks, and gone after 71 pitches. 11 Ks, 1 BB in 8 IP this year. Stunning Dunning, but it’s a wonder the Rangers’ manager can tie his cleats with those kid gloves on. Streamonator likes his next start, and I do too, hopefully they let him go longer than a middle relief stint.
Marcus Stroman – Will start the 2nd game of the doubleheader today. I was corrected yesterday, it wasn’t the umps who Mr. Bungled the rainout on Sunday, it was, of course, the Mets. It seems the home team decides whether to start the game, not the umps. The umps only decide whether to stop it. This makes so little sense to me. So, a team could be like, “Hey, cool hurricane approaching from the south. Sounds like we’ll only have time for one inning. So, let’s have a position player pitch the 1st, so the other team has to use their ace and we’ll take him off the table for the rest of the series?” And that’s how you get Gerrit Cole swept up by 140 MPH winds.
Josh Bell – 1-for-3, 2 runs as he was activated from the IL. Also, Kyle Schwarber (2-for-5, 1 RBI) was reinstated from the IL. Kevin from ESPN’s “Get Him In Your Lineup” Department said, “It works the same way, you just have to empty your ‘Butt.'”
Yadier Molina – 1-for-4 and his 2nd homer. His homer was considered by true fans of baseball “the right way to homer.”
Brady Singer – 5 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners (zero walks), 6 Ks, ERA at 6.48. Also, gave up three unearned runs, so was a bit of a ticker shock, but much more like what I expected from him. I’m willing to concede I might like Singer a bit more than I should, but I do, so eat it. But, prior to chowing down, the Streamonator hates his next start, and I agree.
Anthony Rendon – Hit the IL with a groin strain. Technical name for being sidelined due to the groin is a jackoff.
Alex Cobb – 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.63. Not saying this was an incredible start — inCobbible? — but you’re telling me you had to draft a top starter when there’s guys like Alex Cobb racking up ten Ks? Serious question: Are there bad pitchers?
Shohei Ohtani – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, hitting .333. Just let him hit! Sorry to exclaim, but seriously, stop with the pitching nonsense.
Mike Trout – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .394. Imagine Trout would’ve played during the steroids era, and partook in a syringe or two, he would’ve hit 80 homers and .450, and I’m being realistic vs. optimistic.
Freddy Peralta – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 0.69. Now behave! Thinking a lot of you aren’t watching Peralta, because he’s not being talked about nearly enough. He’s throwing pitches nowhere near the plate that are inducing awful swings. They’re not awful swings because they’re bad hitters. The swings are happening because Peralta is so next level nasty.
Adbert Alzolay – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 6.10. Kinda what I said in the 2nd half of my Glasnow blurb. The Brewers might actually strikeout more than the Rangers, but they will also hit more homers.
Kris Bryant – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 3rd homer. Would put his over/unders at 25 homers and .275, so we’re not talking a guy I’m incredibly excited about, but compared to my feelings on Bryant a mere two weeks ago, he may as well be an MVP candidate.
Dinelson Lamet – Will make at least one more start at the Padres’ alternate site, i.e., at least one more start before he opts for Tommy John surgery. Padres trading for the Mets’ trainers might end up being their undoing.
Yu Darvish – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.06. Was expecting a complete, 12+ strikeout game, so, yeah, expectations screwed up my happiness. Thanks a lot! Though, those same expectations have me impressed with Bryant’s only slightly better than mediocre start. Okay, expectations, you’re forgiven!
Wil Myers – 3-for-5, 5 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Day early, usually Myers shows up on the 13th.
Phillip Evans – 2-for-4, 1 RBI, hitting .406. Someone start defrosting Ted Williams’s head! Okay, don’t microwave it or anything, just put it on the counter. We have time. Evans is a high-contact, low-power, no speed guy. He’s obviously a hot schmotato, but he could hit .280+ on the season, so if you need 17/.280, I have no problem with it. That line is not great for 12-team mixed or shallower.
Adam Eaton – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Adam Eaton would be leading all my teams in homers. *whips back with cat-o-nine-tails* I must be guilty of something! Please let me feel joy again!
Triston McKenzie – 4 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 4.70. Ref blows whistle. “Move the Sticks!” A ref picks up McKenzie, and carries him to the Indians’ next game.
Jesse Winker – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. Are you saying Tyler Naquin won’t start over Winker? Ah, weird. I could’ve sworn Naquin would from the insane FAAB bids on him this past weekend. Speaking of which, tonight is one of two FAAB periods for the RazzSlam, if you’re in it.
Wade Miley – 5 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA vs. Aaron Sanchez – 5 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 2.70. Two mediocre starters in a great park against one weak road team and one simply weak team? Decent offenses and bad pitchers, streams beware. Giants/Reds at night, Streamonator in the clear.
Jake Odorizzi – Was recalled from Sugar Land. Funny, I recall only Connie Britton in that. Sugar Land was that ABC country-western music TV drama, right?
Michael Brantley – 1-for-4 and his 2nd homer, hitting .346. Had to drop him in my RCL, because Fantrax only has him down for UTIL eligibility, which might be the stupidest thing I’ve seen this year with eligibility, and that’s including Yahoo giving everyone position eligibility at every position.
Carlos Correa – 1-for-4 and his 3rd homer, in the 9th inning because Carlos Correa is a professional 9th inning hitter, and the Astros still lost by four runs to the Tigers.
Zack Greinke – 4 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.08. Don’t be surprised if this outcome vs. the Tigers has him blaming Carol Baskin.
Akil Baddoo – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .368. Yabba Dabba Baddoo! Glad he hit 8th yesterday, it’s a good experiment to see how dumb a quote-unquote smart manager like A.J. Hinch can be. Do you really need seven much worse hitters hitting above Baddoo? Find out tomorrow on everyone’s favorite show, “How Dumb Can Hinch Be?”
Renato Nunez – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 1st homer. Speaking of dumb, he filled in for Miggy, and, yes, Miggy is a 1st ballot HOFer, but Nunez is better right now, so what does Hinch do? Takes Nunez and bats him 7th, when Miggy usually bats 3rd or cleanup. Also, I like Nunez for the cheap power
Casey Mize – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 0.82. My challenge to you, if you choose to accept it, try to find a bad starter. Someone’s gonna have a 0.50 ERA this year in 150 IP. Oh man, I just realized Rob Manfred’s long game. Rob Manfred’s gonna be like, “We need to help offense now…So, how about we move the mound back five feet?”
Chris Bassitt – 5 IP, 2 ER, 2 hits, 5 BBs, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.96. It looked like he strained his oblique on a swing, because pitchers should totally be hitting with how much offense there is in baseball. He stayed in the game, but I’m half-expecting to hear today that he woke up sore. I’m not kidding; the trainer looked at Bassitt’s side after a swing, and I wasn’t watching Westminster.
Lou Trivino – 1 IP, 0 ER, as he came into the 9th in what would’ve been the save, if the A’s didn’t foreclose in the 8th and add a run. Jake Diekman came into the game in the 7th inning, and he’s a lefty, so that didn’t work at all even though the club announced him as a closer, and then he never saved a game. That’s great. Really terrific stuff. This shituation will change fifteen times over the next five months. 1880s pharmacist who puts cocaine in every prescription, J.B. Wendelken is liable to get saves before it’s over. But right now Trivino is the guy to own.
Matt Chapman – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. “You know what? I think we should chuck him over the side when we cross the bridge–Wait a second, he moved! He’s alive! Chapman’s alive!”
Zac Gallen – Will be returning today. He had a fracture in his forearm and they were like, “Should we call it a five-arm?” So, can I get back Carrasco? C’mon, throw Grey a bone, I’m hungry for good news!
Madison Bumgarner – 4 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 11.20. Was watching him run yesterday and couldn’t help think, “More like Madison Dumpster Pants.” Hey, Dumpster Pants, if you have to emulate one starter on how to age gracefully who looked like a HOFer in his 20s, I wouldn’t choose Felix Hernandez.
Christian Walker – Hit the IL with an oblique strain. A’la Kanye, “God show me the way because the oblique’s tryin’ to break me down…Chris…tian…Walks in pain.”
Josh Reddick – Signed with the Diamondbacks. So they have Josh Rojas and Josh Reddick? Are the Dbacks putting a team together or teaching people the Spanish language?
