Oakland A’s rookie outfielder slash speed demon slash rocket arm slash hot shot Ramon Laureano hit two home runs Friday night including his first career lead off bomb to which even Ricky Henderson nodded in approval. He became the first A’s player with two multi-home run games in his first 30 games and the rook upped his slash to .309/.387/568 with five bombs, 13 RBI, and let us not forget, a perfect 4-for-4 in steals chances. Yes, hashtag SAGNOF. That’s why we’re talking about him for 2018. Ramon lead off for just the second time in his young MLB career (he doubled twice leading off Wednesday) but considering such positive results, it’s likely he’ll see a lot more time there throughout the remainder of the season. Laureano held an .895 OPS with 13 homers and 11 steals in 63 games at AAA before his call up and has done nothing but excel since he got here. Everybody loves this guy! Is it because he delivered a game winner in his MLB debut? Is it because he has the potential to be a real life 5-tool player? Or is it because he plays defense like a gold glover and has an absolute cannon of an arm that would make Tom Brady blush. Sweet sassy molassy! I’m sorry I have to watch that again. And you’re sure I don’t get fantasy points for that? If, like most people, you’ve already moved on to fantasy football and are sad about your Leveons or your McKinnons, try to remember Ramon Laureano for your 2019 sleeper radar. But if you are still with us, and you need some speed and runs and average in the stretch run, go grab yourself a bowl of Ramon while he’s hot!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Chris Archer – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 3 ER, 3 BB, 6 K. He lowered his ERA to 5.24 with this start. That’s pretty much sums about his career with the Pirates to date. Arrrgh!

Lewis Brinson – 3-for-4, HR (11), 3 RBI. The post-hype, post-benched, post-sent down, post-destroyed my batting average sleeper! He’s hitting .500 since his re-call up a week ago! Sure I’ll bite! Marlins Baseball: Get Hooked!

Kenta Maeda – 0.2 IP, 0 ER, K, SV (2). Got the save because Kenley Jansen’s heart is too fragile to pitch in Colorado. What if it’s a playoff game? Does this change the policy? Grey’s right, this begs the question: should this guy really be playing professional baseball? In arguably the most high-leverage, high-stress, high-anxiety, high-pressure role in all of sports? I’d hate to be the girl who has to break up with Kenley. I don’t know if his heart can handle it.

Matt Holliday – 2-for-3, HR (2). He’s hitting 11-for-27 with two dingers in his 11 games with the Rox. It’s not that I don’t like Holliday and I’m sure he’s capable of being semi-productive at least in Colorado, but Ol’ Man Ho’Day is taking Aye Bees from David Dahl and that’s where I have issues.

Yasiel Puig – 2-for-4, HR (16), 2 RBI. It was his first homer in like a month–at least it feels like that. As an owner, I just feel like he’s suspended all the time these days.

Cody Bellinger – 2-for-4, RBI. OK, Cody, now that everyone’s been burned by you and Dave Roberts will hardly play you I’m ready to go all in for 2019.

Clayton Kershaw – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, BB, 7 K, 7th win. Kersh remains one of the only starters I will blindly start at Coors regardless of the circumstances, and this is why.

Eddie Rosario – 2-for-5, HR (23). ER’s slashing .293/.330/.489 with 23 dingers, 75 RBI, and 85 runs and has a good shot to surpass his careers highs in all of the numbers I just listed. I cant tell if he’ll be overrated next year or underrated. He is still on the Twins.

Derek Holland – 6.0 IP, 2 hits, 2 ER, 5 BB, 6 K. Stream-O-Nator loved this start. I don’t actually know if that’s true, but it seemed like a start only a robot could love. One of my deepest, darkest Razzball secrets (which I’m only confessing to now since no one is reading anymore), I can’t afford a SoN account. I know. If I did I’d probably own Holland, and I’d have three straight quality starts out of him.

Josh Hader – 2.0 IP, BB, 5 K, 5th win. Player’s gonna play and Hader’s gonna hade, hade, hade, hade, hade! Shake it off! Shake it off! Apparently Josh’s catcher hates this song.

Jeremy Jeffress – 1.0 IP, 2 K, SV (9). As bad as this Milwaukee’s starting pitching staff is, their bullpen is straight three times flames emoji. Although I find myself more often angry with Hader lately than happy, right now, at least, I’m happy.

Alen Hanson – 2-for-3, HR (8), SB (7). With the MMMBop & Legs! Hitting .313 in the past week with 2 homers and a steal. Those are Carlos Correa-esque numbers! Oh wait!

Ryan Braun – 1-for-1, HR (15), 3 BB. I’ve never seen a player who seems more content playing just 3 days a week but Braun is totally on board. He should play for the Dodgers.

Felix Pena – 7.0 IP, 7 hits, 2 ER, 6 K, 2nd win. His third straight quality start and he’s lowered his ERA considerably over that stretch. He’s taken on some decent lineups over the past month and come out relatively unscathed, I can see streaming him versus Texas next week.

Ty Buttrey – 1.0 IP, K, SV (1). Blake Parker hadn’t pitched since Monday so perhaps Mike Scioscia just wanted to see Buttrey in a high leverage situation. Or maybe Buttrey is the new closer? I need to know ASAP as possible but only Mike knows right now. Somebody ask him so I can set my weekly fantasy already!

Shohei Ohtani – 1-for-4, HR (10), 3 RBI. Has now homered in three straight games!  I might even, but I don’t know it’s been so long, well, OK!–are you ready? Say it with me, Jerry…Sho-hei. Oh-tani. SHO-HEI! OH-TANI! JERRY! Louder! Doesn’t it make you feel good to say it, Jerry!? I’m your mother h*cker! SHOOOOO-HEEEIII OHHHH-TAAANIIII! So he’ll probably have elbow surgery in the offseason, but don’t worry he’ll be able to DH all 2019. He can’t pitch because he had surgery but he can hit. Oh okay. This just proves to me I know nothing about how elbow surgery works.

Avisail Garcia – 2-for-2, HR (16). If I tell you to pick him up, he’ll probably just hurt his knee again so I am going to respectfully advise you not to pick him up this year.

Aaron Nola – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, 3 ER, BB, 8 K, 16th win. He’s now third in the NL in ERA, and if you want to be considered in the Cy Young conversation with deGrom you probably need like half the wins you have now.

Steven Matz – 5.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 8 K. Matz has dominated in his past three starts with a 1.89 ERA, 0.79 WHIP and 26/4 K/BB in 19 IP. My issue with Matz, besides that he can’t stay healthy, is he doesn’t pitch deep enough into games. That doesn’t seem to be the case lately and he’s got a real sweet match up vs Miami next week. Would add in every league I wanted to win.

Tommy Hunter – 1.0 IP, SV (4). The last three save chances have been his, but that’s not saying much in this bullpen. He’s probably the favorite for saves in Philly.

Blake Snell – 5.1 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 9 K, 18th win. His sixth win in a row and 18th of the season. In the AL East, on a team where you’re the only starter basically. Do you think that’s more pressure or less? Anyway, where’s my underrated post? #allstarsnub!

Ji-Man Choi – 1-for-2, Grand Slam HR (5). Kevin Kiermaier, Tommy Pham and Nicholas Ciuffo also homered as the Rays blasted the Orioles for 14 runs. The last time I wrote about Ji-Man he was hitting another grand slam. He’s hitting .350 with two homers in the past week but he doesn’t start against lefties. Knowing this information, I think you are ready to make an educated decision about whether or not you should pick him up.

Marcell Ozuna – 2-for-4, 2 HR (20). OZUNA hit baseballs again! OZUNA hit two deep one day! OZUNA did this Wednesday too! Why OZUNA can’t do this all year?

Austin Gomber – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 3 ER, 3 BB, 6 K. I have been a little less impressed with Goober than some, but the stats don’t lie! He’s got a 2.93 ERA, 1.34 WHIP and 51/27 K/BB. He’s also has four quality starts in his past five and a 2.70 ERA since August. The K/BB is a little too bleh for me to go gaga, he’s NEVER LOST A GAME and gets the Pirates next week. Grab him if you hate losing!

Jordan Hicks – 1.1 IP 2 hits, 2 ER, 2 K, 3rd loss. Sigh. Back to Bud Norris it is then!

Jeimer Candelario – 3-for-5, HR (18), 2 RBI. I can’t wait to see this guy get over drafted next year based on the 20 homers he’s going to hit.

David Price – 6.1 IP, 2 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 10 K. DP was dealing most of this one, at one point retiring 13 Astros in a row, but the bullpen let him down big time. When all your team does is win, but you still can’t get the win.

Gerrit Cole – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 8 K. Cole leads the AL with 251 strikeouts! Pirates you so stupid! Gerrit’s team mate Justin Verlander is second with 248 and I could see some interesting club house comp happening here. Let’s see them battle it out for Kate Upton’s heart! Can I play too?

Xander Bogaerts – 1-for-4, HR (20). AWESOME-X is one of the most clutch hitters in baseball, but you should see this guy in Fortnite! Nobody can floss like X! #1victoryroyale

Carlos Carrasco – 8.0 IP, 6 hits, ER, BB, 14 K. Excellent bounce back after a less-than-excellent start last week. Carrasco is a fantasy monster when he’s on, the problem is he’s only on like every three out of four starts.

Kevin Pillar – 2-for-5, HR (12), SB (14). I’m only mentioning him not because of the walk-off home run but because of the slam & legs, which will no doubt be covered in gravy and syrup. If Vlady Jr. were here thought, you wouldn’t have needed a walk off because the game would have been won by then.

Rowdy Tellez – 2-for-5. He hit six straight doubles to begin his career to break a record or something! He then struck out the next three at bats. Just thought you should know that!

Scott Schebler – 1-for-4, Grand Slam HR (15). When I see Schebler continues to lead off, and Manager Jim Riggleman continues to have his stupidity rewarded in dumb ways like this, I want to stick needles under my finger nails a la Sharp Objects, but I guess I’ll just drink this water bottle filled with vodka instead.

Phillip Ervin – 3-for-4, 4 runs, 2 HR (6), 4 RBI. Doesn’t hit home runs really, but he hit two yesterday! Hmm, maybe he should lead off?

Hunter Renfroe – 2-for-4, 2 runs, HR (21). He was a BUY and he homered. You go pick him up now and hopefully he’ll hit more. That’s how this works!

Masahiro Tanaka – 8.0 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 10 K, 11th win. Seattle’s line up sure can look pathetic at times, but to be fair Tanaka was lights out in this one. He needed just 102 pitches to get through eight and walked none in the game. He’s getting hot at just the right time, not just for the Yankees but for fantasy owners. Carry me Tanakaaaa I forgot to draft an ace!

James Paxton  – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 4 ER, BB, 8 K. Let’s look at the positives for James this season. He’s only been on the DL like, five times, and he’s even pitching in September. All good takeaways.

Andrew McCutchen – 1-for-3, HR (15), 2 RBI. His first home run as a Yankee and just his second hit with the new club. Are we sure it was the Yankees that wanted to trade for Cutch and not the Mets? I feel like someone should double check.

Luke Voit – 2-for-4, run. ENTER THE VOIT! It’s like Twin Peaks Black Lodge only weirder. Like the new Kanye/Lil Pump video with the Roblox suits. Hitting .318 with 3 homers in the past week–he was a BUY and yeah, it’s kind of like that.

Patrick Corbin – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, BB, 9 K, 11th win. Aww yasqueen! This is something I’m told the kids are saying, am I OK saying this? It doesn’t feel OK–but what do I know? Anyway, Patrick went all yasqueen on the Braves with this gem and has a 2.32 ERA, 0.87 WHIP, and 40/5 K/BB over the past month. Mmmm. Dusted! He may have had his peaks and valleys this season, but he’s peaking at the right time. Keep it up, my queen!

Kevin Gausman – 4.2 IP, 7 hits, 4 ER, 4 BB, 4 K. I mean…it was bound to happen eventually. I’m just sorry it happened now.

Joey Gallo – 3-for-4, HR (35), 3 RBI. His career high is 41. He’s been in a bit of a slump lately, although I don’t know how you can call a player hitting .208 in September slumping, but he’s only homered four times in the past month, which seems slumpy for Gallo.

Johan Camargo – 3-for-5, 2 runs, HR (17), 2 RBI. Hit second and responded with a homer, his second in as many days! I’m so glad the Braves wasted weeks on Jose Bautista only to keep at bats from Johan. He’s done nothing but hit this year!

Ronald Acuna, Jr.  – 2-for-5, run, SB (12). He hits for power. He hits for contact. He steals bases. *swoons* Is there anything you can’t do, stud? Get a hold of yourself, man. You love Mookie. You. Love. Mookie. But next year….

Paul Goldschmidt – 2-for-3, HR (33), 3 BB. Remember when you wanted to drop him after he bat .144 in May and now he’s on pace to surpass his career high in homers (36)? No? That’s because the people who asked if they should drop him have been out of contention since July and stopped reading this in June. Oh well. Till we meet again in April!

Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!