The closer cavalcade of debauchery is well in season.  Rewind four months ago and look at your team…  If you drafted Jeurys Familia, Alex Colome and Bobby Osuna, you probably came out of the draft smiling like a freshly picked peach.  Now you look at your team today for the first time in a month, because you most likely let the ship sail on the season because of injury, attrition or trades to your bullpen.  The last two names have been done ad nauseum by me and other bullpen savants around the web…  So now we look at Jeurys Familia.  Or a tale of losing a job do to injury, returning, and basically sucking all the trust out of even owning him.  From the beginning of the season until June 7th when he went on the DL, he posted good numbers by Donkeycorn standards; 14 saves with K/9 rate above 10 and ERA of 2.48 and a BAA of .245.  All within the strain of imagination as a set it and forget it closer.  Now we sit here on June 29th, and in six appearances since, he still sits at the same save total of 14, K/9 of 6.35, ERA of 9.53 and BAA of .357.  Now, I am no math whiz, hell I am barely even knowledgeable about what actually is cheese whiz, but those numbers are awful and garbage.  Add in the fact that the Mets as a team are in the toilet, have fired their GM, and have a worse record than the punting from day one Marlins….  Trade-value wise, he has zero in fantasy and almost in real life, because teams aren’t going to trade for a guy who can’t get outs. As an impending free agent, he should and will be traded, maybe to a team that has an opening in middle relief, but I don’t see him gaining closer status for the near future with the Mets or another team.  So if you are a Familia owner and holding out hope for some sort of revert to the former here, I am unfortunately going to tell you that he gets less than 5 saves the rest of the year it looks like. More closer news and views, read on or don’t.  I will continue to sit by the pool regardless!

  • Only closer to blow three saves in June is B-rad Boxberger.  Not an awful lot of concern, and definitely nothing to poop your pants about.  Also of note, Hirano has gotten more 8th inning work recently.
  • How in the heck do the Astros not have a save chance since June 18th?  I wish the save situation would be solved, but it still continues to be a mix and match with Rondon and Giles.,
  • Sergio Romo hasn’t started a game since June 1st.  He has 4 saves during that period, incited one bench clearing situation and hasn’t pitched before the 8th inning in any of his 11 appearances.  Safe to say that Romo is getting the most looks to all of the Rays chances.
  • The struggle is real for Wade Davis, ERA above 10 over last 9 appearances and has only 1 save in teams last 13 games played.  Ottavino and Mcgee are the just in case options.  The latter has the same amount of saves as Davis during the last 10 games.
  • Blake Treinen is the best closer draft value of the year.  Period, send to print.  Has only allowed 37 batters all year to the tune of a .167 BAA and OBP under .260. Yum.
  • Looking on the usage for the Braves may be an indicator of who is the own.  Minter has pitched after Winkler three times since Arodys Vizcaino went on the DL.  No saves for the entire team in the past 11 games so its is tough to dictate who will actually get the first one.
  • Sleeper reliever of the week: Kyle Crockett, not sure if Tubbs is on the Reds but it’s not a vice to add him.  Puns are fun to me, don’t have to be to you.


$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Craig Kimbrel –  (Joe Kelly,  Matt Barnes)

2. Aroldis Chapman – (David RobertsonDellin Betances)

3. Kenley Jansen – (Josh FieldsErik Goeddel)

4. Edwin Diaz – (Alex ColomeJames Pazos)

5. Sean Doolittle – (Kelvin herrera, Ryan Madson)



Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.

6. Corey Knebel – (Josh HaderJeremy Jeffress)

7. Brad Hand –  (Craig Stammen, Tyler Yates)

8. Blake Treinen – (Lou Trivino, Ryan Buchter)

9. Raisel Iglesias – (Jared HughesAmir Garrett)

10. Wade Davis – (Adam OttavinoJake McGee)

11. Brandon Morrow – (Pedro Strop,  Steve Cishek)

12. Cody Allen – (Neil Ramirez, Oliver Perez)

13. Felipe Vazquez – (Edgar SantanaKyle Crick)

14. Bud Norris  – (Jordan HicksBrett Cecil)

15. Brad Boxberger – (Archie BradleyYoshihisa Hirano)



These guys are the men that make the save market go round. They punch in, punch out. Have the job, no real threat to speak of, and are basically just there to collect great benny’s so they can take care of their crippled brother. Who is only really crippled because he is scared of the sun.

16. Keone Kela – (Jake DiekmanCody Martin)

17. Shane Greene – (Joe JimenezAlex Wilson)

18. Fernando Rodney – (Addison Reed, Trevor Hildenberger)

19. Zach Britton – (Brad Brach, Mychal Givens)

20. Kyle Barraclough – (Drew SteckenriderBrad Ziegler)

21. Joakim Soria – (Jace FryBruce Rondon)



Brain Freezes

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

22. Ken Giles Hector Rondon / Chris Devenski

29. Sergio Romo – (Chaz Roe, Jose Alvarado)

23. Seranthony Dominguez / Tommy Hunter / Hector Neris

24. Blake Parker  (Justin Anderson, Cam Bedrosian)

25. Ryan Tepera / Seung-hwan Oh / Tyler Clippard

26. Dan Winkler / A.J Minter / Shane Carle

27. Jeurys Familia / Anthony Swarzak / Robert Gsellman

28. Mark Melancon / Sam Dyson / Reyes Moronta

30. Wily Peralta / Kevin McCarthy / Brandon Maurer