Joe Musgrove pitched the first no-hitter in Padres history Friday night, but this isn’t about him. It’s not about how he dominated the dreadful (so, so bad) Texas Rangers line up allowing just a single hit batsman to reach base in the fourth inning. Or how he he struck out 10 of these so, so bad Rangers. Moss Grove is already owned in all fantasy leagues. If he’s available well then by all means go pick him up now. This is about a player you can pick up. The Cleveland Baseball Team’s new, maybe, possibly, could be, I really don’t know but can you imagine if it was, closer Emmanuel Clase. Manny got his first save of the season Friday night pitching a perfect inning with two strikeouts. That’s right. Clase Closed. It’s almost too perfect. He did it with just 14 pitches. He reached 100 mph on 11 of those pitches and topped out at 101.2 mph with his cutter. Sweet sassy molasse! Let’s give him the chop! James Karinchak was the de facto closer in many minds going into the season but he’s blown a save and he’s also anti-VAX which is not a good look right now. We just might have ourselves a bit of a committee. So let’s speculate. Considering only Nick Wittgren and Clase have gotten saves so far, and Nick Wittgren doesn’t have a 101.2 mph cutter, hmm, imma grab Clase if I’ve targeting saves, or just some stinky, smelly cheese. He’s got the stuff to run away with the ninth inning gig in C-Land and the Cleveland Baseball Team’s closer has usually paid rich fantasy dividends in the past. I wouldn’t drop your James Karinchaks for him just yet, but I’d grab him wherever I needed saves. Clase closed! Ha! I love it!
Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:
Corey Knebel – 1.0 IP, 3 K, SV (1). Knebel! Yes, Corey and NOT Kenley got the save opportunity yesterday. Considering the Dodgers had Thursday off, he should have been available. Was Kenley Jansen hurt? Was Dave Roberts just super steamed up about his blown save last week? Or does Dave just trust Knebel more–and was rewarded with his trust as Corey struck out the side with 10 pitches. Hmm. Methinks a closer controversy is afoot–someone fetch my monocle, it’s speculation time! You’d think Jansen would have more of a leash, as he is one of the more established closers in the league, but this is also exactly why you don’t pay for saves. And if Corey is in fact the new closer for the winningest team in baseball, you need to grab him wherever he’s available.
Juan Soto – 2-for-3. You know what I miss about non-covid life? I miss the Freestyle soda machines at the movie theater. Making my own signature suicide. Half cherry coke. Two squirts Wild Cherry Pepsi. A blast of Dr. Pibb. And the rest Baja Blast Mountain Dew, of course. Filled with more crushed ice than liquid and 4 straws, it’s the best part about movie theaters. So yeah, umm, hmm. Grey calls him “want a soda” so that’s how I got there. Soto is pretty good at hitting baseballs.
Joe Ross – 5.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 4 K. Man I love me some Joe Ross Dress for Less. To shut down the Dodgers like this, albeit sans Mookie Best, you had my interest Joe, now you have my attention. Ross has had issues staying healthy but always had the stuff to be effective, he’s worth a look next week at St Louis. Yeah, I might stream that!
Walker Buehler – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 4 K, 1st. Okay, this guy is pretty good. You don’t need to be Ben Stein to see that.
Franmil Reyes – 3-for-4, 2 HR (3), 3 RBI. Dude is a monster! He’s gonna hit 50 dingers this year. Speaking of monsters, just finished watching Kong v. Zilla for the third time. I had to watch Godzilla: King of The Monsters first so I better understood Godzilla’s motives in this one. Anyway, I liked the part where monke rips off his head and drinks his brains. I mean, the cinematography alone. Someone call the Academy! Monke needs an Oscar!
Zach Plesac – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 6 K, 1st win, ERA at 1.38. As the old saying goes, draft Injians starters and you’re going to have a good time. Scoop up Tristan McKenzie before he’s the next big thing. Are we dealing with some sort of Falcon & Winter Soldier-esque super pitcher serum that they aren’t sharing with the rest of the league. Is it bad I kind of like new Cap? Anyway, I don’t know where Cleveland is getting these guys but they’re all good, also I liked WandaVision more.
Jared Walsh – 2-for-3, HR (3). Slashing .375/.464/.833. Jared is still available in about a quarter of fantasy leagues but will be owned everywhere by the end of the weekend. All he does is hit. He’s gaining eligibility by the day. And I don’t know what more you want. Do you want him to shine your shoes? Because he will shine your shoes!
Shohei Ohtani – 2-for-5, HR (3), 4 RBI. 3-run double and a homer and just missed a grand salami in the second, slashing .300/.344/.700. Say it with me, Jerry! SHO-HEI! OH-TANIIII. Oh HEY! You can really mash, can’t you? Why even try to pitch? Cause you can? It only tarnishes how good are though, right? You think Mike Trout can’t pitch good? You think Mookie Betts can’t pitch good? Of course they can! He’s f’n Mookie Betts–he’s good at everything. You got to pick a lane though. Grey told you to SELL and I imagine you could probably get some real pretty things for Shoheitime, so explore offers.
Johnny Cueto – 8.2 IP, 4 hits, ER, BB, 7 K. Johnny BB Goode. I was ready to write an entire lede about Cueto then I thought–wait, no one is going to pick this guy up no matter what I tell them. Fair! He retired the first 13 batters he faced and didn’t give up a hit until the 5th inning. His 2.51 ERA, 0.98 WHIP are certainly real purdy, and if he can come out his match up next week with the Reds unscathed I might consider the prospect of maybe thinking about mulling over the possibility of contemplating whether or not I should review the option of potentially picking him up. I don’t know for sure though!
Jake McGee – 0.1 IP, K, SV (1). Mmm. Least stressful save ever. Gg ez.
DJ LeMahieu – 2-for-4, HR (1). Anyone else close their eyes when they type DJs last name and pray you spelled it right?
Rich Hill – 6.0 IP, 4 hit, 4 ER, 7 K, 1st win. Speaking of not very good fantasy players.
Corey Kluber – 2.1 IP, 5 hits, 3 ER. 3 K. It’s funny (incoming not very funny thing), Boston media was praising the Kluber signing last week simply because he’s not Garrett Richards. While I wouldn’t wish Richards on even Yankee fans, Kluber still gots more to prove.
Willy Adames – 2-for-4, HR (1). The Rays scored 10 runs on 13 hits. I love you Willy but please get hurt so we can speed up Wander’s big league arrival. You don’t even have to get hurt! You can like, I don’t know, hold out for more money or something? And then refuse to play until you get paid or traded. It’s win-win!
Ronald Acuña Jr. – 4-for-5, HR (3), 2 RBI. Alt-165! ÑÑÑ! You have doñe it agaiñ, my frieñd! Remember wheñ he started the seasoñ ice cold? Me ñeither. Tildaddy hit a 450-footer in this one that he admired all the way over the feñce. Proud dad.
Freddie Freeman – 1-for-4, HR (2). See above. Acuña, Ronald. Forgiveness is important, and two of Freddie’s three hits in 2021 have been jacks. Fred is the picture of consistency I have in the my locker. Ol’ reliable. Now please never go 0-for-12 again.
Charlie Morton – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, BB, 7 K, 1st. Mmhmm. Not sure why Chuck’s not on more of my fantasy teams. He’s exactly the kind of player I’d want as my Ace. Now that he’s escaped the Rays six inning restriction, he’s got a chance to show us what he’s really got. I wanna see some CGs! And SOs! A NH would be nice! PG even!
Joe Musgrove – 9.0 IP, no hitter, 10 K, 2nd win. I called this back in 2016. And if you’ve been holding for 5 years–you’re welcome. Also, the Rangers really stink. He gets the Bucs next week and they’re even worse. Do I smell a perfect game brewing for Moss Grove?
Wil Myers – 2-for-4, run, RBI batting .346. Myers and Hosmer will have better seasons than Machado and Tatis. Mahk my wahds! Machado washed. Too 0ld. Tatis washed. Too young. Too hurt. Both overpaid.
Sean Manaea – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, ER, BB, 4 K. Mananea was lights out when he returned from TJ surgery in 2019. In 2020, I avoided him but maybe now’s the time to buy back in at two times the price?
Lance McCullers, Jr. – 5.0 IP, 2 hits, ER, 3 BB, 6 K. Lance has apparently introduced a new “super secret,” unhittable pitch which he attributes his early season success to. Hmm. Looks like a slider to me?
Matt Olson – 2-for-4, HR (1), 2 RBI. Mark Canha and Jed Lowrie also homered. Matt broke the tie in the 8th inning with his 3-run jack. I owned Olson all over last year and he took his time getting going. Was kind of hoping he’d do the same in 2021 so I have time to trade for him. Just suck a little bit longer, Matt, we will be together again…soon.
Carlos Correa – 2-for-4. Carlos is one of those players I instantly regretted picking on draft day. One week later he’s hitting .321 with 2 homers and I’m all like, “I called it! This is Correa’s year! I knew it all along! I never doubted him!”
Tyler Mahle – 4.0 IP, 0 hits, 0 ER, 4 BB, 6 K. He induced 17 (! ! !) swings and misses in this one. I know what you’re thinking. 17. The seventeenth letter of the alphabet is Q! Where was Tyler on January 8th? Is he an Oath Keeper? What are your next orders Tyler, tell us? Also, maybe if you pitched to contact a little more you wouldn’t have to leave in the 4th inning. But you do you, Q.
Tejay Antone – 2.0 IP, 1 hits, 3 K. Not a great sign that Tejay hasn’t cracked the rotation even with Sonny Gray sideined but the cream will rise to the crop. Keep doing stuff like this Antone and you’ll get your shot soon enough.
Jesse Winker – 3-for-3, run, RBI. Left the game with an injury. Uh-oh. Keep one eye on the prize!
Eduardo Escobar – 2-for-5, HR (2). Oh boy is this line up pathetic on paper. They make the Rangers look like the White Sox. When your biggest name is Carson Kelly, you’ve got some star power problems. Call up them rooks!
Tyler Naquin – 1-for-3, HR (5), SB (1). He was a BUY and Tyler Run Creator is hotter than a Lil Nas X song drop. That “Montero” video would make Satan blush. So sexxy. What? It’s not gay–it’s woke. Dude could easily hang with Cardi B in a twerk off and rocks a pair of thigh high boots with the best of them. I’m just trying to figure out why the hottest hitter in baseball was pinch hit for the 10th. At some point you don’t need to play the matchups when a guy is hitting everything to the moon.
Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!