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Tanner Houck, 2022 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 4, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 48 Comments

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I saw Tanner Houck had a slider that produced a .142 xBA and I gulped, then I went looking for some examples. Enjoy:

When a hitter is swinging at a pitch that’s either so far off the plate that the catcher can’t get to it or if it hits their back leg, it’s so nasty. Or simply S’nasty, which is Tanner Houck’s new name. S’nasty is basically Chris Sale from the other side, who was like Mr. S’nasty Sr. He was S’nasty before S’nasty. Yes, I’m comparing Houck to a guy who was the fastest to 2,000 strikeouts in history. That’s heady company, which sounds like what a pimp would name his LLC. Now, what made/makes Chris Sale nasty is/was he can’t/couldn’t be hit by lefties or righties. Naturally, he’s much harder for lefties. His career mark is .202 vs. lefties and .223 vs. righties. Bringing that up for a reason, can imagine if S’nasty Jr. aka The Incredible Houck is that good vs. righties? For those slow on the uptake, there’s more righties! If Houck is as good vs. righties as Sale is vs. lefties, then Houck’s about to have himself a few Cy Young awards and become a top five starter in the league. So, what can we expect from Tanner Houck for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Psyche! Before we get into the Tanner Houck sleeper post, just wanted to announce that I’ve finished my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings and they’re all available on our Patreon. Anyway II, the Tanner Houck sleeper:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Sean Manaea, 2022 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 3, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 47 Comments

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Let’s start here:

Not sure why it’s so visually pleasing to watch a pitcher strikeout guys, but, mah gawd, I could watch that all day and twice on Muesday, the magical day that Narnia’s itself between Monday and Tuesday. So, Sean Manaea, the real-life Girl Scout cookie–*intern whispers in ear*…not Samoan as in the cookie? Okay, will be researching that further. But he’s more of a snack than Lars Nootbaar. *intern walks away* Are you quitting? But who’s going to toss boba into my mouth from ten feet away so I can yell, “Score?” Sean Manaea throws three pitches a sinker (60%), a change (24.4%) and a curve (15.6%). His basic numbers were 11-10/3.91/1.23/194 in 179 1/3 IP. Solid 9.7 K/9 and 2.1 BB/9, but overall kinda yawnstipating. What are we even doing here? I need flash! I need intrigue! I need spice! But not turmeric, because that shizz stains everything. I’m sorry, I love you yellowy spice, but my pots and pans look like my dog, Ted, urinated on them! So, what can we expect from Sean Manaea for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Psyche! Before we get into the Sean Manaea sleeper post, just wanted to announce that I’ve finished my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings and they’re all available on our Patreon. Anyway II, the Sean Manaea sleeper:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Jordan Montgomery, 2022 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

December 31, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 39 Comments

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As I said in the Gleyber Torres sleeper, calling Yankees sleepers is already a thin ice proposition. Who doesn’t know the Fawkees, dawg? They’re like covered by ESPN morning, noon and night, when ESPN is covering baseball, which is a bit more than badminton but way less than every other major sport. ESPN sees woman’s volleyball engagement on IG and is like, “Let’s spike our baseball coverage! High five me on the pun!” That’s someone in Bristol. Or maybe it’s because the Yankees had such an underperforming year in 21 after 20, but I’m finding some value this year in Yankees bats and arms, which brings us to Jordan Montgomery. I ain’t no JoMo, but I love what I’m seeing with this guy. Last year, he went 6-7/3.83/1.28/162 in 157 1/3 IP and had a 9.3 K/9 and 2.9 BB/9. Wait a minute, I went full hot-and-heavy on that? Kinda bleh, Previous Sentence Grey, kinda bleh. I hear ya, Current Sentence Grey, but you’re gonna wanna pay attention, because this guy is so close to tipping off into top 10 starter range. Like a horny set of conjoined male twins, I feel it in my bones! So, what can we expect from Jordan Montgomery for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Psyche! Before we get into the Jordan Montgomery sleeper post, just wanted to announce that I’ve finished my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings and they’re all available on our Patreon. Oh, and Happy New Year! Anyway II, the Jordan Montgomery sleeper:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Dylan Cease, 2022 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

December 30, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 54 Comments

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Not sure if I’ve said this recently. Oh, I’ve said this before, absolutely. But recently? Maybe, maybe not. What is…recently? The last ten minutes, ten months, ten years? What is *pauses for dramatic effect* time? What I’ve definitely said before, but maybe not recently is there’s many different types of fantasy baseball sleepers. There’s guys who are sleepers in 12-team leagues; 15-team leagues; NL or AL-Only leagues and 50-round draft and hold sleepers. Not all sleepers are built the same. Also, what we expect from them is different. An AL-Only sleeper might be projected for 4.25 ERA and 8-ish K/9. A 12-team league sleeper better have an outside chance for a top 20 starter year. Also, an AL-Only league sleeper might not be worthwhile in shallower leagues, but a 12-team league sleeper is worthwhile in all leagues. Those 12-team sleeper guys are also guys who I just want to talk about because they’re gonna be so good. Think of the 12-team sleeper guys as the Kevin Gausmans (Gausmen?) from last year. These guys are good with a chance for being elite and should be drafted a round or four earlier than they’re going. Dylan Cease is in that camp. He won’t be a sleeper in most deeper leagues, but he will be a factor in all leagues. So, what can we expect from Dylan Cease for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Psyche! Before we get into the Dylan Cease sleeper post, just wanted to announce that I’ve finished my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings and they’re all available on our Patreon. Anyway II, the Dylan Cease sleeper:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Ranger Suarez, 2022 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

December 28, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 34 Comments

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Don’t even know if Ranger Suarez is a 2022 fantasy baseball sleeper. I’m sorry, I think he’s a 2022 fantasy baseball sleeper. I’m just not sure. See, I looked at his Statcast numbers and my eyes fell out of my head. Since that moment, I’ve sorta been flailing around with my fingers on what I think is the keeeboard. How’s my spellling? I spellled spellling wrong, didn’t I? And misspelled ‘spelled’ too, huh? Hey! I got my eyes back in my head! Sweet! Now to look at Ranger Suarez’s Statcast page again–Ow! I just dropped my jaw on the ground! This sucks! Could someone please tamp down Ranger Suarez’s Statcast numbers so I don’t bug out my eyes or drop my jaw? We’re unable to do that? Okay, well, I want to warn you all before I show you these gorge digits. Brace yourself. They are some of the best stats I’ve ever seen. (If you click the image, it gets bigger. That’s what she never said!)

How many of you also lost your eyes and/or jaw bottoms? I see a show of a few hands. Oh, man, I can see that one guy lost his bottom jaw and it smashed down on someone else’s eyes. What a mess! Okay, let’s go through these numbers to help those who are not impressed become impressed. So, what can we expect from Ranger Suarez for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Psyche! Before we get into the Ranger Suarez sleeper post, just wanted to announce that I’ve finished my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings and they’re all available on our Patreon. Anyway II, the Ranger Suarez sleeper:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Gleyber Torres, 2022 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

December 27, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 38 Comments

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It’s a rare occurrence when a Yankees player is a sleeper. I can count the instances on one finger, the same finger I use to point at my mustache, my mustache-pointing finger. In 1984, Don Mattingly was coming off a 4-homer, .283 season, and everyone admired his mustache, but thought his bat was too weak to stick at 1st base. “He’s no Cecil Cooper,” they’d say. “I do love Mattingly’s mustache though,” they’d continue, “Do you think he’d sell pictures from his nose down to his top lip only? I’d really like to buy a picture of that to put on the ceiling of my bedroom.” That’s what they’d say. Then Mattingly broke out in 1984 and the world thought, “This guy is more than just a glorious mustache. How can one man be so lucky? A glorious mustache, a great hitter and a great wife.” A sleeper for the ages from the New York fawkin’ Yankees, or the Fawkees, as they say. Almost 40 years later, Don Mattingly is mustache-less and the Fawkees still didn’t have another sleeper. Dot dot dot. Tension builds. Until now. Last year, Gleyber Torres went 9/14/.259 and, mah gawd, this better get good fast, because that’s awful. I think I fell asleep under a giant poster of Mattingly’s mustache one too many times and my brain is mush. Well, I’m this far in, let’s just salvage this thing. So, what can we expect from Gleyber Torres for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Position Eligibility for 2022 Fantasy Baseball

December 24, 2021 | 2022 Fantasy Baseball, Fantasy Baseball Draft Strategy | 25 Comments

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Look at position eligibility like this, you have a toolbox filled with different positions, and you need a certain position for a certain hole in your lineup, or a screw for a certain hole to secure a latch. If you use the wrong screw, then the latch will be loose and you’ll need to translate Swedish to English to figure out how this cabinet’s door stays on the hinges, when it’s clearly not flush no matter how many times you unscrew it and re-screw it back in. What is wrong with this stupid screw, and now it’s stripped?! Oh, c’mon! Then the screw gets middle infield eligibility, but the cabinet’s directions were used as a coaster, and the coffee stain is covering the exact part I need! Or maybe that’s just me.

So, the 2022 fantasy baseball rankings are already on our Patreon, free of charge plus ten dollars. I’ll be releasing the rankings in roughly three weeks from Monday. In the meantime, let’s look at the players who have multiple position eligibility for this upcoming 2022 fantasy baseball season. I did this list of multi-position eligible players because I figured it would help for your 2022 fantasy baseball drafts. I’m a giver, snitches! Happy Holidays! Seriously, be safe and well out there and don’t get run over by any Christmas sleighs. or non-denominational sleighs. They’re the worst!

I only listed players that have multiple position eligibility of five games or more started outside of their primary position. Not four games at a position, not three, definitely not two. Five games started. If they played eight games somewhere but only started one, they are not listed. 5, the Road Runner of numbers. If they simply played 10 games at multiple positions (and not started them), they’re also included. So this should cover Yahoo, ESPN, CBS, et al (not the Israeli airline). Players with multiple position eligibility are listed once alphabetically under their primary position. Games played are in parenthesis. This is the only time a year I do anything alphabetically, so I might’ve confused some letters. Is G or H first? Who knows, and, better yet, who cares! Wow, someone’s got the Grinchies, must be the spiked egg nog talking. Be well, be safe. Anyway, here’s all the players with multiple position eligibility for the 2022 fantasy baseball season and the positions they are eligible at:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Jeimer Candelario, 2022 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

December 23, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 33 Comments

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Wait! Before you close the window, just give me a chance! Come back! Everyone’s gone, huh? *yells, hears echo* Welp, I guess I’m doing this 2022 fantasy baseball sleeper post for myself. I get it, Jeimer Candelario is mega boring. If Jeimer Candelario were an NFT, he’d be a jpeg of beige. If I am properly understanding what an NFT is, and that’s at like 25% odds. Also, if I’m understanding odds correctly, and that’s at like 50% odds. I got 2 to 1 odds that I understand 1 to 2 odds or 1 to 2 odds that I understand 2 to 1 odds? Any hoo! Jeimer Candelario is boring! Who cares? That makes someone more of a sleeper. You’re thinking about him and yawning. That’s the good part of this, not the bad part. Boring isn’t bad. They can’t all be Jarred Kelenic with 40/20/.270 upside. Did I just say Jarred Kelenic has 40/20/.270 upside? My God, what am I doing talking about Jeimer Candelario? Last year, Candelario went 16/0/.271. No wonder he’s a bore. So, what can we expect from Jeimer Candelario for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Psyche! Before we get into the Jeimer Candelario sleeper post, just wanted to announce that I’ve finished my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings and they’re all available on our Patreon. It’s an early Xmas miracle! Like waking in the middle of the night for some egg nog, and not accidentally drinking egg beaters. Anyway II, the Jeimer Candelario sleeper:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

15 Team, NFBC Draft Champions Recap: Please, Cody Bellinger, Hurt Me Again

December 20, 2021 | Our Leagues | 66 Comments

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While drafting this NFBC 2022 fantasy baseball team, I’m simultaneously deep into writing my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings, which will be released starting around mid-January. (Our Patreon already has the bulk of them; as I finish each ranking, I put it up on there.) Was a fun experiment to see if not having completed rankings would change my drafting. If I haven’t yet decided on whether or not I want a player, would that let me be more open to drafting someone? I’m not sure. My guess was it might’ve. For unstints, if I didn’t want, say, Cody Bellinger again, would I be a big enough dolt to draft him again since I haven’t finished my rankings? Would I be a large enough idiot to actually draft Cody Bellinger again in 2022 if I hadn’t yet finished my research? Would I have an obvious screw loose, potentially appearing like a person who doesn’t have an actual brain, and draft Cody Bellinger again? Would I be a large-scale imbecile that would draft Cody Bellinger again if I simply hadn’t finished researching? Surely, I would not, right? Because I rostered him in multiple leagues last year, so I don’t need something as silly as my own rankings to know Cody Bellinger sucks giant Great Dane balls, right? RIGHT?! Actually, wrong. I’m just that dumb. Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap; it’s a 15-team, two-catcher, draft and hold league that goes 50 rounds and has no waivers:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Lane Thomas, 2022 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

December 17, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 67 Comments

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You know the cinematic technique where the dolly wheels in and the camera zooms out? It’s used in films to make the viewer feel uneasy. A classic example is in Jaws:

That was me. I was Roy Scheider when I started to discover Lane Thomas. He’s just a random outfielder on a not-that-great team. Dolly wheels in. He used to play for the Cards and all ex-Cards outfielders are great. Camera zooms out. Stands up on the beach and screams to the water. “Get Lane Thomas out of there! He’s worthwhile!” Runs to the water and throws Frank Schwindel out of the way, “I have to save real sleepers!” Pushes aside Ian Happ, “Please, Ian! Not this year! You’re a sleeper every gee-dee year! Yes, ‘gee-dee’ because this movie is PG!” Paddling into the water, “Lane! Grab my hand!” On the shores, the mayor calls out to panicked tourists, “There’s nothing to see here.” So, what can we expect from Lane Thomas for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Psyche! Before we get into the Lane Thomas sleeper post, just wanted to announce that I’ve begun to roll out my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings on our Patreon. It’s an early Xmas miracle! Like opening a day on an advent calendar and there’s accidentally two chocolates. Anyway II, the Lane Thomas sleeper:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Luis Urias, 2022 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

December 16, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 27 Comments

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Like someone practicing tantric sex, this has been a long time coming. The only thing that nearly stopped me from writing this post was because I wrote a Willy Adames sleeper, but that’s no reason to not think a Luis Urias sleeper is possible. *counting double negatives* One “no reason,” two “not think”…are “nearly” or “but” negatives too? Okay, ya know what, double or triple negatives aside, Adames’s sleeperiness doesn’t stop Urias’s sleeperitude. Not sure why this year has worked out this way, but I did a Brandon Marsh sleeper and a Jo Adell sleeper, and followed that with Willy Adames and Luis Urias sleepers. Sometimes these things happen. They shouldn’t affect us in any negative way. It reminds me of last year when everyone wanted to bail on Jose Ramirez because Francisco Lindor was traded. It didn’t stop Jose Ramirez from having a great year, and Willy Adames breaking out won’t stop Luis Urias from breaking out too, or vice versa. In fact (Grey’s got more!), one player breaking out might help the other. More offense the better! Maybe Christian Yelich can stop smelling up baseball’s whole ass, and remember how he’s better with a Launch Angle that wouldn’t be classified as “premeditated worm murder,” then the entire Brewers offense can start clicking again. Though, we don’t need other guys to be good for Luis Urias (or Willy Adames) to hit, as just mentioned with Jose Ramirez.

Last year, Luis Urias, or Lurias if you’re in a rush, went 23/5/.249/.345/.445 and a .340 wOBA. If you’ve been following Razzball for an Urban Dictionary minute, which is actually a long time, you know I’ve been loving Lurias since he went 19/7/.315 in only 73 games of Triple-A in the Padres’ farm system. Oops, I forgot, PETA said I have to call “farm system” an “animal prison complex.” So, what can we expect from Luis Urias for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Psyche! Before we get into the Luis Urias sleeper post, just wanted to announce that I’ve begun to roll out my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings on our Patreon. It’s an early Xmas miracle! Like randomly putting on Showtime, and Porky’s just starting. Anyway II, the Luis Urias sleeper:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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