Bryce-A-Roni Time In SF

Giants lied to us. They said they weren’t calling up Bryce Eldridge (0-for-3) this year. Just thought about the Lilliputian who read, “Giants lied to us,” stopped reading and started running through town, screaming bloody murder. Come back, wee friends! I’m talking about the San Francisco Giants! One Lilliputian who was planning on visiting San Fran this fall, “There’s Giants in San Francisco? Egads!” Welp, now that I’m just talking to regular-sized humans, the Giants lost Dom Smith, and had an opening at 1st base for Bryce Eldridge, so Frank Voila! Here he is! Kinda wild that Dom Smith would block anyone. Is that the Dom Smith who had one good game in 2019? That Dom Smith? Okay! So, Bryce Eldridge was 12th on the top 50 fantasy baseball prospects that Itch just gave you this Sunday. Eldridge went 25/1/.260 in the minors this year in 384 ABs with a 29.3 K%, and 30.8% in Triple-A. Think he’ll be as good as advertised at some point — 40+ HRs, .260 — think Pete Alonso in San Fran. Call him Effete Alonso. — but right now he’s 20 years old, and strikes out way too much. If you want to take a flier, go for it, but he seems like he’s set up to be as good as, say, Jac Caglianone this year. Nothing for pitchers to fear this year, even wee ones. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Kai-Wei Teng – 4 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 6.41 vs. Zac Gallen – 6 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.73. This matchup was billed as, “A cowboy you don’t want to sit behind at the movies. Ya know, starting with his Teng/Gallen.”

James McCann – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. If your keeper league team’s name is Anal Retentive, then congrats on having Raleigh and McCann.

Elly De La Cruz – 1-for-3, 1 run as he was dropped to 7th in the order. Only because they couldn’t drop him to 17th.

Sal Stewart – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, 2nd homer in two games, and third homer in a week and he’s only played in 11 games. Not sure if you’ve watched Stewart, but I have. Easy power. Ease. E. Pow. Ur. Nothing to it.

Zack Littell – 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.86 vs. Matthew Liberatore – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.30. This matchup was billed as, “Streamonator is telling you to start neither, but you’re in a H2H matchup and you need every start you can get so you’re starting both of these guys with your hands over your eyes.”

Nolan Arenado – 2-for-4 as he was activated from the IL. Cards’ season saved!

Bo Bichette – Visiting a specialist for a 2nd opinion on his PCL sprain. The specialist’s name is Dr. Bobert Donald, but his friends call him BDon and he’s going to tell Bichette to retire.

Orelvis Martinez – Jays released him. He was a top prospect, but he was hitting .176 in Triple-A. In other words, he will be backing up Isiah Kiner-Falefa and Adam Frazier in Pittsburgh next year.

Trey Yesavage – 5 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, as he was called up. Ye Olde Savage was just gone over in my Trey Yesavage fantasy yesterday. tl;dr, I like him, but I don’t know how much he’ll pitch this year. In keepers, yummers. Yesterday, he looked fantastic. He had nine Ks in 69 pitches. Nice. Ye Olde Savage has a devastating splitter, my favorite pitch that I want every pitcher to throw. In the last few weeks, we’ve received a bounty of young starters. It’s like the universe is saying, “Don’t worry, prematurely balding man, you don’t have to worry about rostering Ober and Bibee next year.”

Joe Boyle – 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.64. as he was recalled by the Rays. I’m still uncontrollably excited about Boyle for next year. For this year? Stream.

Simeon Woods Richardson – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 4.31. I streamed him because everyone else was taken. Let’s hear it for lack of options!

Brooks Lee – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 15th homer. Sonavabench! I sat him for Carson Williams. Let’s here it for too many options! (Same league as SWR too.)

Colton Cowser – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 15th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Hot schmotato alert!

Kyle Bradish – 5 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners (4 BBs), 9 Ks, ERA at 2.45. His peripherals since his return: 12.3 K/9, 3.3 BB/9, 2.98 xFIP. Stop talking dirty to me!

Daylen Lile – 2-for-3 and his 6th homer. He’s been great, was last week’s lede Buy, but you’re not ready for that conversation. [fingers to earbud] Hearing you are ready. Okay. My bad.

Spencer Strider – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.64. And with that…Shut him down. I’m sorry if you need him for fantasy but please let him rest.

Matt Olson – 4-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 26th homer, three homers in three games. The Atlanta Dead Cat Bounces.

Ronald Acuña Jr. – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 17th homer. It’s a low-key massive bummer that he looks like a shell of the pre-six-knee-surgeries Acuña.

Drake Baldwin – 3-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 16th homer. If you’re drafting Adley Rutschman next year before Drake Baldwin, then you know the reflex hammer that doctors use to hit your knee? They should use that to hit your head.

Kyle Schwarber – 1-for-3 and his 53rd homer, 3rd homer in three games. Kyle Schwarber’s 22 HR vs. LHP as a LHH this season are tied for the most in MLB history. He ties Matt Olson (2021) and Stan Musial (1949). Hopefully Schwarber has a better 31-year-old season than Olson did this year. (It’s a joke; Schwarber’s older; don’t make me ‘splain shizz.)

Bryce Harper – 1-for-3 and his 27th homer. Kinda wild how a 30/12/.265 season is going to feel boring from Harper, when it really shouldn’t.

Emmet Sheehan – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.17. As he followed Anthony Banda (1/3 IP, 1 ER), for what I can only describe as Dave Roberts trying to pretend he’s smart.

Max Muncy – 1-for-5 and his 18th homer. Max is the Munciest!

Andy Pages – 3-for-4, 2 runs and his 25th homer, hitting .276. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think there was an actual reason Pages was hitting 8th, behind Alex Call, Miguel Rojas, Muncy, Freeman, Teoscar, Betts, well, being behind everyone but Ohtani makes zero sense.

Mookie Betts – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 19th homer. Mookie Best!

Pete Crow-Armstrong – 2-for-4, 2 runs and a slam (29) and legs (35). I’ll be honest, I thought he had 29 homers and 35 steals back in July. [looking up his stats] Actually, not far off.

Michael Busch – 1-for-5 and his 28th homer, 2nd homer in three games. Looks like I made a smart move trading Lawrence Butler for Busch at the All-Star Break! [blows on knuckles, wipes knuckles on shirt, sees knuckles had ketchup on them and it’s now on my shirt] Damn! I am being faux braggadocios, don’t come for me. Busch has been barely startable most of the 2nd half. Butler’s been awful, and maybe slightly better.

Jameson Taillon – 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.93. Fun fact! I’m half-I-Taillon. Less fun fact! He’s a Streamonator call.

Jack Leiter – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.82. Final line looks better than reality where he gave up another three unearned runs for the ticker shock. I am not a Leiter fan. Oddly enough, zippo interest.

Josh Jung – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer. If Josh Smith (1-for-3, 1 RBI) and Josh Jung merged into one giant Josh, who hit their combined 25 HRs and .250, I’d still have very little interest in Joshmongous.

Jason Alexander – 4 2/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 4.04. Not even five innings for Jason Alexander? Oh, I know, it was shrinkage.

Yordan Alvarez – Slipped on home plate, and had to be helped into the clubhouse. They diagnosed him with a left ankle sprain and it looked bad. Freeman had a similar injury last year, so if the Astros and Padres make the World Series, Yordan has a chance to do the funniest thing ever if the Padres bring in Nestor in relief.