*life flashing before eyes right before death* Wow, that’s a lot times I picked up and dropped Chase Anderson. Is it weird I can understand where Mike Tyson was coming from when he said he wanted to eat Lennox Lewis’ children? Some of these players — Sonny Gray, Jon Gray, Chase Anderson — come to mind that make me want to eat someone’s children. Not really (yes, really). Why couldn’t Chase Anderson do this when he was on my team?! *lines tacks up on desk, slams head down* I’m okay! *blood dripping from forehead like Abdullah the Butcher* I can’t see! *screaming at intern* Getmeahandiwipesoicansee–Okay, I can see again. I’m still seeing blood though. Yesterday, Chase Anderson went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.13. The peripherals are still not there for Anderson — 6.1 K/9, 3.5 BB/9, 5.17 xFIP — so I won’t be going back in on him. That doesn’t mean it won’t make me think about salt and peppering some kids if he pitches well again. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Daniel Mengden to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Finally, the Rays took a cue from Fox, and started Jake Bauers‘ clock. Here’s an updated 24: FBI agent, breathlessly, into a phone, “The President is in danger!” Assistant to the FBI director lowers the phone, speaks to the director, less breathlessly, “Have you tried Thai basil chicken?” FBI director, “Basil in Thai dishes always make me think there should be tomato sauce. Ya know, Italians have that basil thing already.” FBI agent into the phone, breathlessly, “Did you hear me, the President’s in danger!” FBI assistant, “Um, yeah, you’ve been on vacay, and we’re no longer taking matters of the President’s safety as seriously as much as we once did.” I keed! Don’t hit me with your political agenda. So, Jake Bauers was called up to presumably play every day. I mean, if the Rays waited this long to bring him up, they’re not doing it for a bench bat. He’s a little bit of everything vs. a lot of one thing, which is less exciting in short-term, but could be something long-term. His Steamer projections are yawnstipating 7/8/.238 (click his name to see projections), but I could see him being a bit closer to 9/16/.265/.345. Not bad, not great. Breathlessly, “He’s okay.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
True Story Alert! Justin Bieber used to live about two blocks away from Cougs and I. Honestly, he might still live there, but I doubt it because I no longer go to the supermarket (block between us) and hear this, “BIEBER, I LOVE YOU. HERE IS MY VIRGINITY. LITERALLY TAKE IT FROM ME. PLEASE!!!” Also, I no longer have to jostle between TMZ cameramen for my kombucha. Here’s a story about how he wanted to put a skatepark into his condo. Dude, LA’s special. Any hoo! Yesterday, I was screaming like a 15-year-old girl for Shane Bieber to remove my sexual flower for the first few innings, then he ran into some trouble in the 5th, when it became apparent major league hitters (even the bottom of the Twins’ order; Ryan LaMarre, really?) are not quite who he was blowing away in the minors this year (1.05 ERA, 8.1 K/9, 0.5 BB/9). He worked consistently down in the strike zone with a 93 MPH fastball, and broke off, uh, breaking stuff off down and outside. There wasn’t a ton of hard contact until the 6th inning, which was a quick turnaround on a 5th inning, which saw him clearly winded — final line, 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners (1 BB), 6 Ks. I’m interested in him in deeper mixed leagues, but he looks like he will have the usual rookie pitcher lumps. For what it’s Werth, he’s the 9th best starter on the Prospect-o-Nator, which lists all rookie pitcher projections. Plus, no reports of this Bieber wanting a skatepark. That’s good. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Warning, this post has no consistent theme. When I sat down and began thinking about what to write I really couldn’t focus on a single concept, so instead the result is a hodgepodge of points league material. If I was going to talk about Eric Hosmer who has a measly 114 points I could borrow the term hodgepadre from a much better writer. But if I’m being honest, I couldn’t give a shit about Hosmer as his 0.51 points per plate appearance. While we’re discussing Padres let’s spend a sentence or two on Christian Villanueva and his 14 home runs. Despite leading all rookies in dingers, Villanueva also has 51 strikeout in 156 at bats. That’s an impressive (unimpressive?) strikeout rate. Ignoring my recent post about not penalizing a batter for a strikeout, this is not good in points leagues. This is why he only has 97 points and is still on the wire is over twenty-five percent of points leagues.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This week starts out with the tale of how an invite to the old ballpark from Razzball’s own Donkey Teeth, snowballed into drunken madness and a broken Ronald Acuña Jr.. After Grey blames me for Acuña’s mild ACL sprain, we move onto some of the top topics and performers of the last week. From Mike Foltynewicz, to Felipe Vazquez’s numb ring finger, to Russell Martin’s new found Brock Holt-ness, and everything in between. We play a game of Hot Schmotato with Daniel Mengden, Ross Stripling, and the Rays new bullpen starters, and celebrate Grey’s buy call on Jesus Aguilar. It’s a wild week on the show, and guaranteed to be an all-time classic! I say that every week, regardless of the quality of the show. Finally, please make sure to support our sponsor by heading over to RotoWear.com and entering promo code “SAGNOF” for 20% off the highest quality t-shirts in the fantasy sports game. It’s the latest edition of the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Podcast:
BTW: Get your Prospect Jesus and Grey Albright Tout Wars Champ shirts here!Please, blog, may I have some more?
I went into the Mike Foltynewicz vs. Red Sox in Fenway matchup a spry, jovial young rascal. The mischievous imp of Chinese food, the rapscallion. Then Mike Faultywirewitz went 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners (3 BBs), 7 Ks, ERA at 2.55, and I aged forty years. “I was told just the painting of me is supposed to age.” That’s me trying to get a refund for my Dorian Grey Albright portrait. The time Finkynewhitch was on the mound was like the three-year span when I lost my fortune investing in Beanie Babies compressed into two hours. He just loses all semblance of the strike zone out of completely nowhere. It’s like, “We’re cruising….so cruising…And now I’m throwing five feet outside the strike zone.” With that said, it’s hard not to be encouraged — his velocity is up to 96 MPH; his K/9 is up to 10.4; he’s got the best xFIP of his career, and his team should provide run support. He’s also in his third full year when I like to look for starter breakouts. The only drawback is his command is a mess. As long as you watch him pitch with cucumbers on your eyes to combat the wrinkles, you’ll be fine. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the spring of 2018, the Catholic Church summoned Father Carmen Sandiego to the Vatican to give him the job to investigate miracles, supernatural signs and apparitions. Unfortunately, Father Carmen Sandiego, who wasn’t very good with his GPS, got lost for four days in the Steven Avery car lot in Wisconsin, then ended up in Milwaukee. When he wandered into the parking lot of Miller Park, and Brewers fans tailgating with MGD and cheese curds, everywhere Father Carmen Sandiego turned he heard about the resurrected Jesus Aguilar, so he chose to investigate. He found a player who had lowered his strikeout rate 8% from last year, upped his walk rate, cut his soft contact and could be a sneaky 25-homer, .275 guy. Jesus didn’t appear to him in a vision, he was flesh and blood, like the Lenny & Squiggy cosplayers he also encountered. However, Father Carmen Sandiego didn’t report back to the Vatican, instead he grabbed Jesus for his fantasy team. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Howie Kendrick is out for multiple 10-day DLs with a ruptured Achilles injury. Look at it this way, if Achilles couldn’t come right back from an Achilles injury, how would Kendrick? He can’t, he’s out for the year. Enter stage left, Juan Soto. True story, as I was listening to Prospector Ralph and Lance Broetc. discuss the top 25 prospects for fantasy baseball (clickbait!), every time Ralph would say Juan Soto I’d think he was asking Lance if he wanted soda. I kept wanting to say, just give him a Dr. Pepper and stop asking if he’s thirsty! I don’t drink Soto, because it makes me burp, but I’ll tell you what? I’ve found a special appreciation for La Croix. Give me flavored seltzer or give me death, as Alan Hale Jr. once said. Any hoo! Love, love, lurve what the Nats did. If you have a guy that’s going to be a superstar? You call him up! H to the hockey sticks with an E in between! If the Blue Jays don’t call up Vlad soon, I will call them the BJs for the rest of eternity. Ralph has gone over Juan Soto so many times, that it’s silly to reiterate. Literally, he just wrote a Juan Soto fantasy. If you’re really lazy and you have wheels on your barcalounger so you can get around, the most succinct is Soto could be a 35/12/.300 hitter during his peak and is 19 years old with extra fizz. You can expect this year something similar to Bryce Harper’s rookie year — 20/15/.270. If your eyes don’t bug out on that, you’ve lost feeling in your eyes. Get them checked. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ya know, if you’re gonna get busted for PEDs and be suspended for 80 games, the way to do it is right after fracturing your hand. It’s like coming down with mono the week of your prom when you have no date. “Damn, am I gonna miss that? That is too bad, but I am so drowsy I feel like I have two Forest Whitaker eyes.” That’s you getting prom-o-mono. I am more surprised to hear Robinson Cano was busted for PEDs, than I am to learn he had no idea he was taking the illegal substance. Baseball is currently batting a thousand for denials of PEDs suspensions. MLB players’ denials of taking the illicit substance should get into the Hall of Fame on its first ballot. Speaking of Hall of Fame, I kinda thought Robinson Cano was headed there. This will obviously shade a cloud over his entire career, which I do think is a shame. What’s also a shame, you need to drop him in all leagues. He’s more or less done for the year. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Does anybody else remember the Adventures of the Gummi Bears? It was on the Disney Channel back in the day and it was THE Saturday Morning jam. Medieval, personified bears, that bounce like kangaroos. Where do I sign up, right? In one of the sloppiest and more unconnected openings in Razzball history, starting pitchers are nothing like Gummi Bears. No, they are not my Saturday Morning jam. They’re my Saturday Morning job, digging into numerous deep dives, for hours on end, trying to figure out which players are trending where. The results of these Saturday Morning exercises are below. As a reminder these rankings are for 5×5 roto with value focused on rest of season value for 2018. So, a player like Michael Kopech is ranked for his value over the entirety of the 2018 season. Not just the next month. In previous seasons, this post was a weekly ranking with a pitching profile included. This year we will continue the weekly pitching profile, but once a month we will update the rankings. Because honestly, how much can happen in a week? One or two starts? So there’s changes coming for 2018, but they’re slight, and you’ll still get the same quality profiles, notes, and ranks. You might also get a cupcake or a venereal disease, but no telling which one. The expiration dates will just be a little longer. On the rankings not on the cupcakes or your fresh batch of herpes.
Here’s my Top 100 Starting Pitchers for 2018 Fantasy Baseball.Please, blog, may I have some more?