As Jeff Probst once said, “Turnabout is Johnny Fairplay,” which was his mashup of Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart line, “Turn around, bright eyes,” which was co-opted by a children’s toy commercial with, “Turn around, Rainbow Brite eyes,” which was Elmore Leonard’s original name for a pedophile, which he changed to short eyes, and short people have big reason to smile, unless they’re not wearing shoes and, yesterday, Matt Shoemaker threw a one-hitter into the 8th inning.  *takes a breath, bows, exits like Tommy from this season of MasterChef*  And scene!  So, Shoemaker returned from the minors yesterday and did exactly what we’d hoped from him since March — 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 5 Ks.  He will remain in the rotation, but I wouldn’t indiscriminately add him in all leagues.  I would give him a shot in his next start in Oakland, and go one start at a time from there.  While you’re wearing the kid gloves for Shoemaker, hopefully you don’t accidentally Like an Instagram post from two years ago by someone you once dated that you’re now stalking.  Been there!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

David Freese – Expected to be activated early next week.  A’la bad Schwarzenegger puns, “Sounds like Mr. Freese is starting to thaw.”

Randy Wolf – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Score that one for Team Jacob!

Adrian Gonzalez – Left yesterday’s game with a bruised knee.  He seemed dejected like he had a bruised kneego.

Yasiel Puig – Left yesterday’s game after re-injuring his hamstring.  You’d think a guy by the name of Puig would know how to handle hamstrings.  I think next year I’m going to rank everyone, then wrap bacon around a dart and throw it at my rankings and that’s where Puig will go.  As long as it’s after the top 100.

Zack Greinke – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks.  He has a 1.61 ERA as he heads into September.  When your ERA is near the legal BAC for Alaskans (Hey, what else you doing there?  This also explains voting for Palin.), you’re having a pretttttay, pretttttay good year.

Anthony DeSclafani – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.84.  Wasn’t Laverne’s, from Laverne & Shirley, last name DeSclafani?  Sorry, my advertisers say I need to skew more millennial.  Wasn’t the secretary on Moonlighting named Ms. DeSclafani?   What, there’s reruns?  As for DeSclafani’s fantasy value, well, it’s been a dream of a season, and he’s still not very good.

Marco Estrada – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks vs. Yovani Gallardo 5 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks in Arlington as JB, our fantasy basketball editor and Brewers fan, sang, “All my exes threw in Texas.”

Ben Revere – 3-for-4 and his 25th steal.  For those curious, no, there was absolutely no offense during the day yesterday in any game.  As for Revere, he’s hitting over .400 in the last week.  Don’t love that he’s been relegated to the bottom of the lineup and he won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but if you’re need some SAGNOF, I’m not hatin’, I’m liberatin’.

Aaron JudgeYankees have no plans to call up Judge.  That’s usually what a club announces three days before they call up a prospect.  I’m only half kidding.  The Lily Tomlin half.

Carlos Rodon – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.15.  Frequent commenter, Mrs. Featherbottom said of yesterday’s White Sox uniforms, “In the immortal words of Hawk Harrelson, it’s a, ‘He Gown!'”

Adam Eaton – 3-for-3, 3 runs.  Eaton equals runs, says the man with IBS.

Franklin Gutierrez – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer.  Oh, man, imagine The Big FraGu ever faces DeSclafani.  The world will explode.  Millennials have no idea what I’m talking about.  The Big FraGu has been kinda hot (.350-ish in the last week and two homers eight games ago), but he’s more of a platoon player.

Fernando Rodney – Acquired by the Cubs.  Random prediction alert!  Somehow, some way, Rodney will be this year’s Bartman.  Whether it’s a 2-2 game in the 14th inning and Billy Hatcher comes up or if it’s just a 5-4 game in the 7th that becomes a 12-4 game.  Something will happen.

Matt Duffy – Day-to-day with an ankle sprain.  Use the left Frankenfielder’s ankle and get out there!

Kelby Tomlinson – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 1st homer.  Kelby Tomlinson sounds like a running back, but, hey, I’m no fantasy football aficionado, I’m more of aficionado of Arenado.  Uh-oh, I feel a rhyme coming on.  Watch out, here comes my rap alter ego, B. Fire, as I take you higher like Altuve on a ladder.  You were out wearing camo fatigues, dolling your hair up like Cheryl Tiegs, wishing you stole orange futures from Clarence Beeks.  Go ahead, speaks.  Too late, your breath reeks and your hair’s got more spikes than lemon meringue peaks.   I got onions and your sink’s got leeks.  Just because you’re overweight wearing a 76er jersey doesn’t mean you have Mo Cheeks.  Dropping another sport’s reference?  It’s not my preference, but I can rhyme Jerome Bettis with diabetes.

Marlon Byrd – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 21st homer, hitting .238.  Is it a coincidence that Byrd showed up in San Fran and The Gangly Manbird disappeared?  No, no it’s not.  Then did you see who finished the game for the Giants?  Osich?  It’s a disguised ostrich!

Madison Bumgarner – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.97.  Um, yeah, sure, whatever.  What did he do in his two at-bats?  One single and no homers?  Then he failed!

Nori Aoki – 1-for-3, 1 run and his 14th steal, after homering on Wednesday.  Worth cyclops’ing to see if he’s a rising schmotato.

Adam Jones – Day-to-day after he ran into the fence.  Adamerado, why don’t you come to your senses?  You need to stop running into fences.  Oh, your head is a hard one.  I know that you have your reasons.  These things that you are defensing can hurt you somehow.

Ryan Flaherty – 1-for-4 and his 6th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games.  Or was it Chris Davis wearing a Flaherty jersey?  Mmm-hmm.

Wade Davis – 1 IP, 0 ER in the 8th, lowering his ERA to 1.01, then followed by Greg Holland 1 IP, 2 ER, ERA up to 3.92.  I could see a few things happening here.  A) The Royals say Holland is hurt and send him to the DL.  B) Davis just replaces him. C) There’s no C. D) They continue to leave Holland as the closer for the rest of the season, then in the playoffs, they make Davis the closer because they have to win, and Davis stays the closer into next year.  E) Is the terrible actor from Entourage that somehow continues to find work.

Paulo Orlando – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer.  I was thisclose to making him my batty call yesterday, but instead went with Cuddyer and Venable.  Lowercase yay.

Yordano Ventura – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks.  Some people ask me if I’d start a guy, ignoring the Stream-o-Nator.  Honestly, I don’t ignore the Stream-o-Nator, so most times I just go with that.  If you don’t want to buy the tool, it’s all good, I’ll tell you my opinion on whether I’d start someone, but at least give me the matchup, which means also including if a guy is at home, because beyond who the team is they’re facing, the most important thing for a pitcher is pitching at home.

Mike Moustakas – 3-for-4, 1 run, 2 RBIs.  Is there anyone else that is hotter right now?  Not likakasly!

Alex Rios – 3-for-4.  He has two homers on the year.  Bumgarner almost has three times as many.  Imagine a carpool of Rios and Hanley Ramirez.  They’d both sit in the passenger seat for two weeks until firemen Jaws of Life the door open to get them out.

Jon Niese – 6 IP, 5 ER vs. Aaron Harang 6 IP, 5 ER.  This matchup was billed as Ugly vs. Ugly Unless He Does Something About His Nose.  The Harangutan meets The Anteater.  The Nose Shadow vs. Please Stand In A Shadow.

Travis d’Arnaud – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer.  Member how long you waited to add The Beef?  Well, if you wait that long with d’Arnaud he won’t be doing anything by the time you pick him up.

Kelly Johnson – 1-for-6 and his 12th homer.  Johnson’s one of those players that you would never pick up no matter what I say, so let’s move on.

Yoenis Cespedes – 1-for-6, 2 RBIs and his 26th homer, and 6th homer this week (!).  Cespedes might have 100 legs, but right now all of them are hitting.  Long live The Human Cespedes!

Curtis Granderson – 4-for-6, 2 runs.  Hey, a Met with more than one hit, mazel, mazel!  That’s what happens when you go seven innings without any runs in the middle of a 13-inning game.

Joe Ross – 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Considering the Nats’ playoff hopes are hanging by a thread, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Ross shut down after another start or two.  There’s just no reason to push him further.

Ryan Zimmerman – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer, hitting .224.  This was his 2nd homer in three games.  Well, I wouldn’t necessarily enjoy owning him, but if he’s hitting, he’s worth it.

Jayson Werth – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 4th homer, hitting .205.  If the Nats don’t start Taylor next year in front of Werth, it’ll be a crime.  Though, this will likely be a moot point, because Werth will likely get hurt trying to do the Whip and Nae Nae.

Gerrit Cole – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks vs. the Marlins.  Too bad Greinke’s likely walking away with the Cy Young, because Cole has turned every ounce of pressure into a diamond.

Pedro Alvarez – 1-for-3 and his 21st homer.  I had him in the lineup for this game, and was happy to see him homer, but, wow, the Pirates are platooning the shizz out of him.  I mean, even when a weak righty entered the game in the 7th, the Pirates removed Alvarez.  Kinda kills all his value if he’s only hanging with the LLAMAS.

Jose Fernandez – According to the Marlins manger, Dan Jennings, Fernandez had a “wow” bullpen session.  Let’s just refresh your memory here.  Dan Jennings’s previous managerial experience, prior to the Marlins job, was in Little League.  That is not a joke.  He was hired because he’s a Loria lackey.  I don’t want to yell fire in the theater of Razzball, but if Fernandez is rushed back, and has another arm injury this year, it could be career-threatening.  We joke about Mattingly and other managers, mostly Mattingly, but Jennings is legitimately dangerous and needs to be stopped or replaced by Ken Jennings, that guy knows everything!

Christian Yelich – Sat out yesterday with a bruised knee.  Speaking of Dan Jennings’ Little League experience, he coached Yelich in Little League.  Two years ago.

Giancarlo Stanton – Will take batting practice on Monday.  I’ll be there in a duffel bag with the sign, “Don’t Sit On Me.”

Justin Nicolino – 6 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 1 K.  Fun fact!  Snookie’s parents said if she was a boy, they would’ve named her Nicolino.

Eduardo Escobar – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 8th homer, and his 3rd homer in two days.  Hot schmotato alert!

Desmond Jennings – Headed back to the DL due to his surgically-repaired knee.  Or I should say, knee in surgical-disrepair.

Logan Forsythe – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 15th homer.  This year, Forsythe has been the epitome of a guy that you Ron Popeil in deep leagues and are totally happy with, but are yawnstipated to death in shallower leagues.

Drew Smyly – 4 1/3 IP, 3 ER.  Smyly isn’t the emoji I’m thinking of.  More like an emoji of someone kicking my nuts.  Hey, so you tried the Smyly thing, but in most leagues, I’d either drop him or wouldn’t start him until he showed something.

Jose Berrios – Struck out 12 in seven scoreless innings in Triple-A.  In related news, the Twins have one major league capable starter on their major league roster.

Carlos Martinez – 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Yeah, we’re about 14 innings over where he should’ve been shut down.

Brandon Moss – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer as a Cardinal and 16th homer overall, as he hits .212.  I had a bet with myself that Moss actually retired in July and had been wheeling a sack of potatoes wearing his jersey out to the field.  Looks like I won that bet, because the only loser is Moss.

Adam WainwrightCardinals GM told Wainwright to “pump the brakes” on talk of his return.  Are we sure that’s a good idea?  He has a heel injury.

241 Comments
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Atlas
Atlas
6 years ago

Puig now droppable for 2015 ? (even though I worry an opponent would pick him up, and beat me over the head with him in the playoffs)

Joe
Joe
6 years ago

Roster question. I’m battling for first, there are three teams at the top. I am in first in saves with 127 and the next place has 104. I am carrying 4 closers and need roster space to replace Puig’s Hammy. At this point, am I safe enough to drop a closer? I think I am but wanted your thoughts. Who would you cut out of Papelbon, Tolleson, Perkins, and Street. No keeper considerations.

Also, I am going to pick up Blanco or Burns for steals and runs. Which would you prefer for ROS?

Thanks.

The Big Yabu
The Big Yabu
6 years ago

For some reason, SON is pretty “meh” about Leake at home against StL tonight — $3.7. In an RCL, would you stream him anyway? Or pass and wait for something better?

Latos Intolerant
Latos Intolerant
6 years ago

ROS, hold the Beef or get on the TDA train?

Scott
Scott
6 years ago

Drop Beltran or Garcia for the Big FraGu?

Fred Garvin MP
Fred Garvin MP
6 years ago

So Danny Salazar has been scratched due to illness.

Fred Garvin MP
Fred Garvin MP
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Not too bad though. Sounds like he’ll be ready to go at some point this weekend.

My dream would be that they alter the rotation so that he misses that upcoming start at the Rogers Center, but that’s a long shot at best.

If he does start in TOR are you starting him?

hondo
hondo
Reply to  Fred Garvin MP
6 years ago

@Fred Garvin MP: He looks kinda red eyed crazy in a lot of pics,like he might have Puig Syndrome.

Eric
Eric
6 years ago

Feeling love for any of following streams?

Happ at home against Rockies
Hutch at home against Detroit
Morton at home against Rockies
Hendricks at home against Cinci
Bassett at home against Cubbies

BigJ
BigJ
6 years ago

I picked up the Big FraGu a bit ago.
All I can say is wow. Check the daily lineup and if he is playing, he’ll is always in.

110AB, 9HR, 300Avg, 972 OPS
He is a Sano on platoon.
This guy should be owned in every league (best bench bat you can have).

Clint
Clint
6 years ago

Jesus Cristo mon ami! If you hang out with the big names in fantasy advice I hope their discussions with you are less vapid than their attempts at objective podcast advice, Grey. I used to think Berry/Ravitz was hard to swallow but Cockroft/Karabell & their cavalcade of Northeast media fandom replacements is twice as hard to listen to this year even though CBS offsets the schoolgirl-like following of those teams a BIT in their offerings.

I honestly wish the Mets would lose horribly & repetitively so I wasn’t subjected to so much constant NL East talk. It’s so bad, I find myself longing for the days of Yankee/BoSox domination so I could at least hear about 2 teams instead of the 1 from that region all the time. Thank GOD Razzball exists.

Brown L
Brown L
6 years ago

Kang or Cola for Corner Infidel? Both have their playing time issues.

6×6 (AVG, OPS)

Eric
Eric
6 years ago

Would you drop Heaney or Erasmo for Berrios?
(10-team H2H with QS)

Kind of waiting for Heaney’s next two starts (@CLE, @OAK) or I’d pull the trigger now. What do you think?

Phil of the Future
Phil of the Future
6 years ago

BB, What’s good?

Just checking in real quick. Thoughts on Gausman @ TEX. SON HATES IT. But I could see it being okay. In a heavy ratios league, K/BB, K/9, BB/9, I’m thinking about rolling him out there. But I don’t need the start, however it wouldn’t hurt. Unless it does hurt. Then it would be bad.

I think the guy is hitting his stride and figuring it out. Gonna be big on him next year.

Also, I’m streaming Werth for the weekend series in MIA. I think he’s gonna be sneaky good, faces two lefties and Koehler. In case you needed an OF flier.

Phil of the Future
Phil of the Future
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: It’s gonna be a gametime decision. I’ll probably take him out and put him back in again eight times in the ten minutes leading up to the game. You know, normal, not all obsessive, in no way disturbing behavior.

Phil of the Future
Phil of the Future
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Well the decision just got a bit easier Salazar was scratched. They are saying illness but who knows. I can’t lose him too!

The other start I have is Heaney @ CLE but that smells off to me. Not sure I have the stones for that.

Phil of the Future
Phil of the Future
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Seriously I can’t take another injury/shutdown. I’m fighting for a bye over here!

Phil of the Future
Phil of the Future
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Ugh that’s not best. Better than worst, but really really far from best.

JeF WiTh 1 F
JeF WiTh 1 F
Reply to  Phil of the Future
6 years ago

@Phil of the Future: Haven’t you seen the future already?…You tell us.

Phil of the Future
Phil of the Future
Reply to  JeF WiTh 1 F
6 years ago

@JeF WiTh 1 F: I can only see light years ahead, not days.

Spoiler: The Sun burns out

Polka
Polka
6 years ago

Paulo Orlando sounds like a Cuban Porn Star, and the Cobbler finally left me with a breath of hope…
oops, I dropped him in June, never mind
have to draft him again next year for a dollar and pray

Can you believe I got Machado, Keuchel as waiver wire pick ups, and Just Dong someone dropped, no wonder I’m in first place.

Polka
Polka
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

very- but if they want to keep donating to the Polka new Laptop fund, who am I to argue.
the second the draft was over I hit the waivers for those [email protected]Grey:

Playoff run help
Playoff run help
6 years ago

Grey,
Sorry so long, but take a look at my squad (10-tm H2H keeper (keep 12)):
C – C.Santana
1B – Goldy
2B-Dozier
3B – Mouse
SS – Desmond
CI – Arenado
MI – Hanley
LF – Granderson
CF – McCutch
RF – Braun
Util – Polanco
BN – Odor
BN – K Seager
DL – H. Kendrick
SP – Sale
SP – Madbum
SP – Tanaka
RP – Chapman
RP – Miller
P – Papelbon
P – Arreita
BN – Gausman
BN – Samardzidja
BN – Odorizzi
BN – Wood
DL – Carrasco

With these guys on the wire, any one you would swap out? Also, is Odor hurt bad, worth replacing knowing I have Kendrick stashed away.
HIT waiver – K. Davis, O. Herrera, A. Eaton, Revere, D. Murphy, J. Bradley Jr.
PIT waiver – J.Berrios, Shoemaker, Medlen, J. Kelly, D. Hutchison

Playoff run help
Playoff run help
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: I’ve only got one move left this week, the other changes I’ll make on Monday (when it resets) do you think the hurry is to Stash Berrios or grab Hutch (my league is pretty active, im surpriced berrios is still avail) and if I only have one move today, who is the worst on the team, the #1 drop of Odor, Samardzija & wood ?

Playoff run help
Playoff run help
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: haha ok agreed, freakin Jeff, keep hoping hell at least give me some k’s, what a waste. So hard to let go, don’t understand why when I look at his numbers,….. but …. stilll… can’t…. let goo….

someone pissed in my alphabet soup
someone pissed in my alphabet soup
6 years ago

the bucs platoon alvarez vs righties? i dont know why i never looked at that before.. he sits vs righties and hits vs lefties?

LittleJoeyCora
LittleJoeyCora
6 years ago

Damn Grey, those rhymes you’re spittin’ are SICK!!

Brewers just placed Krod on waivers. You think Smith or Jeffress gets first shot if he’s moved?

Thanks again!

LittleJoeyCora
LittleJoeyCora
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

Seriously! “Your hair’s got more spikes than lemon meringue peaks” That’s like some early Outkast shit!

Got one more for ya – Morneau is starting a rehab assignment today. Would you drop either of Odor or Moreland to scoop him up?

Scott
Scott
6 years ago

Are you buying or selling Werth right now?

Scott
Scott
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Yeah, definitely don’t need those. I wish I could flip all my leadoff hitters, but I need steals.

jojo
jojo
6 years ago

should I drop Odor since he’s injured for any of the following:

Coghlan
Eduardo Escobar
O Herrera
Lawrie

Carnac
Carnac
6 years ago

We joke about Dan Jennings but he managed little league pitchers better than Walt Weiss did.

Carnac
Carnac
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

We joke about McClendon but he’s 100% the little league coach being yelled at by an aggressive dad for playing the fat kid in a close game. What a mensch!

Carnac
Carnac
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

McClendon trying to be heard over a large table of excited kids, “ONE TOPPING! GUYS, ONE TOPPING!”

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Carnac
6 years ago

@Carnac: would you rather have Dan Jennings managing your ace, Don Mattingly your line-up and bullpen, or Walt Weiss doing anything related to baseball?

Carnac
Carnac
Reply to  J-FOH
6 years ago

I’d consider having Weiss be my peanut salesman at the park. He’d do the thing where he throws it from several aisles away and miss badly. Very family friendly.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Carnac
6 years ago

@Carnac: walt weisss, the absent minded peanut vendor. Sometimes he just keeps walking and nobody gets their nut

Jerry
Jerry
6 years ago

Hey, Grey! Aoki or Choo ros? Also, Grandal or Norris ros? Thanks and enjoy the weekend!

ashtray
ashtray
6 years ago

F-Rod to be traded maybe. Jeffress the add?

ashtray
ashtray
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Drop Bruce Rondon or Carson Smith for either of those guys?

JohnnySquid
JohnnySquid
6 years ago

You think Berrios gets called up for a few starts?

Eric
Eric
6 years ago

What do you think about streaming Danks at home vs SEA today?

12-team 6×6 with QS.

I need wins and QS – and I only have one more move left this week, so gotta make it count.

Thanks, as always!

Eric
Eric
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: How about Joe Kelly in Metco?

Eric
Eric
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Sweet! Thanks!

Randy Bobandy
Randy Bobandy
6 years ago

My Lindor dilemma – I already have Kipnis and Brantley, do I want a 3rd Indian in the lineup? I tend to limit the number of hitters from one team…obviously if there’s a shutout it stinks.

Dangerfield51
Dangerfield51
Reply to  Randy Bobandy
6 years ago

@Randy Bobandy:
If Lindor is better than your current options I’d get him. I see no prob with 3 from the same team. Ya know on the other hand when the team blows up for 10 or more runs it is all good.
Good luck.

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  Randy Bobandy
6 years ago

@Randy Bobandy: Don’t worry about it.

The People's Strudel
The People's Strudel
6 years ago

Grey,

With Puig deciding now is as good of as a time as ever to re-injure himself, which RF would you recommend for the immediate pickup:
Byrd, Orlando, Hunter, Werth, Venable or Markakis?
This list makes me very depressed.

Trump Y'all
Trump Y'all
6 years ago

You have to think anyway, so why not think big? – The Donald

I’m thinking big. I need to pick up one streamer to get me some points this weekend or its good bye cotton-candy hairdo. Please pick one, they all suck.

Robbie Ray vs OAK @AZ
WIly Peralta vs CIN @MIL
Danny Duffy vs @TB

According to almighty SON, Ray sucks the least @$1.5.

Trump Y'all
Trump Y'all
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: I’m the white Kanye!

John coakley
John coakley
6 years ago

Flores and Ketel are available and I have Kang’s playing time being distributed to mercer and others….Mattingly style. Time to drop him or hold to get clarity? I am in playoffs which start in ten days so I can be patient. Or maybe I get rid of Hanley who gives me heartburn (nice trade for Liriano btw).

John
John
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey:

Thanks! Kang has been great but I guess it is time to move in!

Dangerfield51
Dangerfield51
6 years ago

I need one of these for my final start this week…who is the safest. 10 team H2H points.

Owens @ Mets
Chacin Home vs Oak.
Happ Home vs Col
McCullers @ Minn

IP +3, K +1, BB -1, H -1, ER -2, W +7, QS +3, L -3.

I know non are good but these are best available. IMO between Happ and McCullers.
Grey what do you think?
Thanks.

SallyCips
SallyCips
6 years ago

Loooove when I pick up someone (Flores) to start for a day-to-dayer (Crawford) and he doesn’t start either.

Wilsonian
Wilsonian
6 years ago

Bruce Rondon or Doolittle?

16 Team H2H – W, L, SV, KS, KS/9, ERA, WHIP

Wilsonian
Wilsonian
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: The Bruce Rondon or Aroydis Vizcaino?

gbwr82
gbwr82
6 years ago

Is it about time to drop Hanley for the playoffs? He has been unbearable since the all star break.

Scott
Scott
6 years ago

That’s weird about Alvarez. Usually they start him against Righties. I was surprised they started him yesterday against a Lefty, after having sitting him against Lefties for the last month or two.

Sideshow
Sideshow
6 years ago

W Puig injury is Carl Crawford even mildly interesting in deeper league?

Ty
Ty
6 years ago

Mad rhymes yo! Damn I feel old when I get the Lavern and Shirley, Moonlighting and Lilly Tomlin blurbs. Does Razzball even have an Instagram account? If you want to see colorful water photography i’m on there @Tynez_ Great write-up G!

Ty
Ty
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: HA!

Cram It
Cram It
6 years ago

Is there a Razz term for a guy who he’s a much better real life player than fantasy? I submit that Daniel Murphy would be the -est of them all.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: murphy is a reality star

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: yes daniel, like all reality stars, they can’t act, but they are good TV for reality shows

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: I’m not naming. You are the reality television expert. Channel that to name murph

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: I was trying to work in a baseball term to a hot actress’s ugly character. Like Lotte Schwartz.

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: I thought about her, but she’s a real person. I was going for the real actress/fake character play.

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Muriel Hesbat?

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Yeah too obscure. Pennsatucky?

Josie Geller would work, if Drew Barrymore was good looking. Huzzah!

Probably too difficult to work a baseball term into the actual name.

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: On second thought, I guess Murph isn’t that hot in real life either, so he shouldn’t be on the pedestal with the likes of Charlize Theron. I’m satisfied with the Josie Geller parallel.

Sky
Sky
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

I’m now being reminded of Shallow Hal because of this thread. Not that Paltrow is my kinda thing but that fat suit…yeah…

Sky
Sky
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

Add glasses = nerd/unattractive. Sounds like a Freddie Prinze, Jr movie.

Sky
Sky
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

‘zactly. I take umbrage with the ‘add glasses, make ugly’ algorithm. Trust me when I say, it’s not the glasses that ruin it for me.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Sky
6 years ago

how about Bea Arthur in anything

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Sky
6 years ago

I was skimming…..was talia shire ever considered hot? IMO Cameron Diaz is not hot…kinda weird looking these days and by these days I mean the last ten years

Sky
Sky
Reply to  J-FOH
6 years ago

Cameron Diaz was always kinda weird looking. Works in the modelling world, not in the aging actress world; let me go on record as saying I’ve never been overly interested in putting ‘hair gel’ in her hair, personally. Talia Shire was attractive, but I wouldn’t go as far as hot. But Grey has his things as do I. Was always a Kate Winslet fan despite everyone saying she was ‘meh’.

Charlize Theron to Aileen Wuernos is probably the match here but in terms of making a real ‘term’, it’s hard for me to fathom how to build around it.

Sky
Sky
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

I never got the appeal minus her eyes. Not surprised about the acne. I always thought when watching her in Vanilla Sky: ‘she’s not acting…crazy clingy because you saw her the morning after and thought YIKES’

Sky
Sky
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

I appreciated Vanilla Sky but her part wasn’t really big. She was more plot device than character.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Sky
6 years ago

SKy….HA!

Grey, so her face looks like caltrans needs to work on it

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Sky
6 years ago

if she wasn’t such a crappy actress then I could see her being more attractive but with that criteria out there I’m saying I would rather bang Meryl Streep

Sky
Sky
Reply to  J-FOH
6 years ago

Meryl has that weird hollywood doppleganger Jennifer Ehle who’s pleasant looking. It’s all in the nose with Meryl for the most part…that said, that doesn’t harm Natascha Mcelhone much.

Sky
Sky
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

Streep Jr…

Sky
Sky
Reply to  Sky
6 years ago

was supposed to say ‘POOR Streep Jr’…

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Sky
6 years ago

I also think with Meryls superior acting chops she could fake her boredum during our two and half minute romp and I’d bye it where Cameron could fool me that I was terrible

Sky
Sky
Reply to  J-FOH
6 years ago

Meryl would totally Meg Ryan you a la When Harry Met Sally.

Diaz would just call you Timberlake the whole time.

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  Grey
6 years ago

@Grey: Sheesh, I go to lunch and miss everything. Your call Bossman. I just enjoy the conversation.

Roman
Roman
6 years ago

Adameradoooooooooooooooooooooooo, oh, you ain’t getting no younger!

740
740
6 years ago

nice read Grey….10team h2h 5×5.

please pick one. Joc, Ozuna, Avisail, PIllar, Josh Harrison, Aoki, Bradley Jr, Rusney?

gracias Amigo!

El Famous Burrito
El Famous Burrito
6 years ago

Previous Dan Jennings Exclamations of Pleasant Surprise:

WOW, they put ketchup AND mustard on my hot dog! For NO CHARGE!

A zero-calorie Cola? I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!

Mom, guess where I’m calling you from….my car! On a cell-yoo-lar telephone! I know, it’s CRAZY!

Bocephus
Bocephus
6 years ago

Odds that Berrios gets a call up soon? Any way you would stash him over Corbin?
Thanks!

Bill
Bill
Reply to  Bocephus
6 years ago

@Bocephus: I was going to ask the same question, and I will even add a Chris Tillman. So, drop either Tillman or Corbin to stash Berrios? What say you?

hondo
hondo
6 years ago

Actually Kelby Tomlinson sounds like Tiffany the strippers real name.She’s from the Midwest and likes sunsets,puppies and sweaty fat guys who show class by giving her a 5 spot after groping her.

Evgeni Eckhart
Evgeni Eckhart
Reply to  hondo
6 years ago

@hondo: I’d follow her on Instagram.

Mobin Couldn't Hack It
Mobin Couldn't Hack It
Reply to  hondo
6 years ago

@hondo: 5 tips for non-private lap dances is a VERY good tip in most midwest places. not the badly priced ones of course.

Manley Ramirez
Manley Ramirez
6 years ago

Everyone knows the Cardinals are a wonderfully run organization full of class act 110% professional right way pros who always make smart decisions. So let them worry about C-Mart. Personally, I think the line he put up against a league-best offense in an extreme hitter’s park is prettay, prettay good. Besides, *takes long snort off table* I NEED THIS! JUST A FEW MORE BABY!

Raphael Gray
Raphael Gray
Reply to  Manley Ramirez
6 years ago

@Manley Ramirez:

Class act organization… until they get caught hacking other team’s databases. LMAO.

Mobin Couldn't Hack It
Mobin Couldn't Hack It
Reply to  Raphael Gray
6 years ago

@Raphael Gray: anybody stupid enough to not change their passwords (and this appears to be the exact way this occurred) when they move from a franchise to a different one gets exactly what they deserve, it’s like when a team figures out the hand signs used by catchers and pitches get tipped, or steal signs, it’s the fault of the team getting read. If this was poker it’s the equvalent of not having a poker face and the good player can read your cards by your face, NOT the equvalent of looking into somebody’s hole cards while they were in the bathroom

Twice on Muesday
Twice on Muesday
6 years ago

Rumor has it Giancarlo is jelly of your arenado rhyme and suffered a mental setback

Any chance we can share another bond like Compton with Narcos! ?