I’ve begun working on a program that aims to harness the collective super powers of some of the greatest minds in the last five hundred years. Think of it as a digital hybrid of Nate Silver, Tom Tango, Billy Beane, Kenny Powers and Nostradamus. The beta version, however, was just Powers and Nostradamus. I called it Nostradumbass. According to its calculations I was supposed to draft Adam LaRoche, Torii Hunter and Reggie Jackson. Now call me old fashioned, but if I’m going to get screwed, I’d at least like to get dinner out of the deal. The only guaranteed prediction you can make from those suggestions is that my team is going to suck. If something is a “guaranteed” prediction, is it really a prediction? The aforementioned players project to zero fantasy points for the remainder of the season.
This is when I knew the system needed some new algorithms and variables. Enter the influences of Silver, Tango and Beane. Instantly I noticed improvements. Not only were LaRoche, Hunter and Jackson removed from the player pool, but so were about a hundred other irrelevant players. It was like a virus had been wiped out of the system. All that remained was the fact that Nostradumbass had set my DVR to record every scheduled episode of Eastbound & Down. Things could be worse. It could have been programmed to tape Girls.
I’d like to start by making some bold predictions. You like what I did there by making the word “bold” bold? I realize that drafts are over, but that’s exactly why I am making them now. I did not want them to influence any of you in any way. Last thing I need to read in the comments section in a few months is one you bitching at me because I predicted Troy Tulowitzki to play more than 140 games when he ended up playing 105. I’m not making that prediction, although it would fall under the category of bold prediction, but using it to illustrate my point.
Bold Predictions for 2016 Points Leagues
Wilson Ramos and Nick Hundley are top ten catchers.
Tyler White wins the American League Rookie of the Year Award.
Rougned Odor falls short of all the hype.
Robinson Cano finishes as the top 2B.
Kris Bryant finishes outside the top five third basemen, barely ahead of Todd Frazier and Mike Moustakas.
If he stays healthy all season, Evan Longoria has a bounce back season putting up more points than Bryant.
The number one outfielder is none of Mike Trout, Bryce Harper, Giancarlo Stanton, Jose Bautista or Mookie Betts.
Jake Arrieta and Dallas Keuchel both finish outside the top ten starting pitchers with respect to fantasy points.
Madison Bumgarner finishes the season with more fantasy points than Max Scherzer. And maybe even Clayton Kershaw.
Felix Hernandez pitches like Felix Hernandez.
Jeremy Jeffress is in the top ten (maybe five) for saves.
And now for my boldest prediction. The previous “bold” predictions are not actually bold predictions. They are my actual predictions. Now put that in your pipe and smoke it!
Like last season I plan to provide you with the most up to date, number crunching analysis of what I see going on in the world of head-to-head points leagues. Along the way I intend to make a lot of points and puns. I will do my best to limit the influence of my grade school sense of humor on my work, but I am certain I will fail in that endeavor. If I can find a way to wedge a fart joke in, it will be there. If I cannot, it will be still be there.
I’d really love to see Ryan Braun stay healthy and rock a 25/25 season, but my hopes for the Hebrew Hammer are not inspiring. Now this would make for a legit bold prediction.
Everything above this line was written on Monday night. Below was written on Thursday night. Just in case you were wondering.
Niether Trevor Story nor Robinson Cano will come close to maintaining their current home run hitting pace. But that’s about as obvious as Ezequiel Astacio is ugly. The question is which one ends the season with more homers. On one hand Story plays his home games in Coors Field, but on the other there’s a little guy name Jose Reyes whom will soon be eligible for playing time. I really don’t know what the Rockies will do with him, but they are not going to sit him on the bench or release him. In points leagues I don’t care about home runs as much as I do about points. Seeing as I picked Cano to be my bounce back player of the year, I’m putting my money on Cano to end the season with more fantasy points.
Multi-position players can prove to be incredibly valuable in all fantasy formats. However in points leagues here are some players that not only could have a spot in your starting lineup, but also make your team much more dangerous. Ben Zobrist, Anthony Rendon, Daniel Murphy and Josh Harrison are among some that come highly recommended.
Mike Trout is currently 0 for 8 with an underwhelming -3 points for the season. He is on pace for about -232 points. I can guarantee you that this does not happen. I’d tell you to buy low, but that would be an idiotic statement.
As good as Trevor’s story has been, Correa’s has been better.
Players to keep an eye on. Tyler White, Justin Turner, Jean Segura, Starlin Castro, DJ LeMahieu, Dexter Fowler and Denard Span. If you want some pitchers, how about Aaron Nola and Carlos Rodon. And finally don’t forget those invaluable SP with RP guys. Juan Nicasio, Brandon Finnegan, Vincent Velasquez and Aaron Sanchez could really boost your team.
