Buy Buy Baez

I really didn’t want to write this post because I don’t think Joshua Baez is going to be promoted imminently, except maybe for a cup of coffee starting in August, which puts him in line for a espresso shot of who cares. The latest thing Cards’ GM Chaim Bloom said was, “He’s got the ceiling of an impact player and not just a one-dimensional guy, and we want to make sure he’s prepared to do that,” and Cards’ beat writer, Benjamin Hochman inferred from that, “This, of all the seasons, is not the season to rush anyone to the majors. This season is about developing and growing and anything it takes to make future Cards teams great. In the meantime, perhaps bleacher fans don’t need to bring their gloves to Busch.” So, why bother saying you should buy Baez? Well, in dynasty leagues, you absolutely should, but also I look at it like this: If you’re sitting on a sixth outfielder on your bench like Jorge Soler or Chase DeLauter (currently next to each on the Player Rater, in case you think Soler is much worse than DeLauter), then why sit on a 6th outfielder on your bench and not just stash Baez because he’s quite possibly the biggest bat we see called up all year. He’s currently putting up video game numbers in the minors. He stole 54 bags last year and is on pace for 60 homers this year. He might go 60/50 in the minors? I will now cackle myself to sleep. [wakes ten hours later] Sorry, was I saying something? Joshua Baez could go 60/50? [cackles self to sleep again, wakes the next day] Oh my God, what day is it? I Josh Baez-cackled-self-to-sleep for almost the whole holiday weekend? Oh no, I have to wait 250 years for the next time our country has a birthday. Joshua Baez could be the best rookie, in general. Basically, Murakami, a top 20 player when he was healthy, or Joshua Baez? That’s pretty good company and worth stashing, even if I think it might be for naught and not naughty. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

PSYCHE! This post was released a week early for Patreon members. It will be released all year early for Patreons, so if people are getting a jump on you, it’s because they paid the $10. Anyway, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell:

BUY

Jonah Heim – With Soderstrom fizzling in the bad way for the next week-plus, Heim is DH’ing and Bing Bong. You know the drill. It goes BING BONG BING BONG BING BONG–That’s the drill’s sound.

Endy Rodriguez – It’s not going to make the cover of Sports Illustrated if there was still such a thing as a cover of a magazine, but Endy’s make solid adjustments this year and seems to be coming into his own in a very minor way. (He hasn’t become Goodman, just Betterman.)

Victor Caratini – He was a schmotato last week, and has continued that trend. Very Caratrendi!

Cooper Ingle – Okay, crap, I’ve given you too many catchers now. One to three catchers? Fine! Four catchers? Disgusting! Awful! Revoke my diploma from the Fantasy Baseball College of Charleston! (I could’ve gave you Kyle Teel too if I thought he was available in enough leagues.) Ingle has taken over the starting catcher job in Cleveland and, in theory, makes great contact (according to his minor league numbers, at least) and should have some power.

Victor Bericoto – More power the better? Ooh…Bericoto!

Ty France – Has been hot, but also a part me hopes France isn’t as good as it baguettes on your waivers.

Jacob Gonzalez – Saw on the 7-day Player Rater that Jac-Gon was hot, as most players in this post, and looked as Jac-Gon’s season-long stats, as I do with everyone in this post, and he’s so hilariously terrible. But hot! Apparently.

Joshua Kuroda-Grauer – Here’s what I said the other day, “Called up and he went to Rutgers, which was my safety school. Sadly, I didn’t play football, so no one drafted me to play safety! JKG won’t spike your EKG, but looks a lot like Wilson. JKG went 7/15/.323 with a 7.9 K% in the minors this year. If I were the A’s (I’m not), I’d play him over Alika, who’s astinka.” And that’s me quoting me!

Nick Loftin – Check his pants grapes. Not you personally, but someone needs to check on his Fruit of the Looms, because Loftin’s been hot, but also nursing a Quasimodo to the bells.

Anthony Seigler – Checked the Red Sox IL to remind myself who Seigler was filling in for (Marcelo, IKF, Story) and I was reminded of Roman Anthony. Member him? Top 50 overall draft pick! Any hoo! Seigler is a high-contact, low power and speed middle infidel.

Cole Young – Full disclosure alert! I keep seeing Javier Sanoja in the hot bats, and keep ignoring him. I’ll pick up most guys who are hot, like Cole Young, but have some shame! Fine! Grab Javier Sanoja too, if you must, but the Marlins were in Bing Bong and Coors last week.

Cam Cauley – Already gave you my Cam Cauley fantasy. It was written while masticating but thinking “masticating” was a dirty word.

Max Muncy – This is Ma’s Muncy. Not your mother’s Muncy, but the A’s Muncy.

Caleb Durbin – If I didn’t feel the need to give you rookie nookie with Joshua Baez, Durbin would’ve been a worthy lede this week as a top pickup. On a funny note, you know when you type in a first name into a stats site (FanGraphs, Baseball Reference, etc.) and the suggestion window drops down and you see all the guys with the same first name? Up until about five years ago, “Caleb” didn’t exist, now there’s about 60 of them. Clearly a lot of fans of Caleb Joseph. And Kale B. Gross, no relation. Durbin has speed, power and lots of contact, but not always great contact (~30% HardHit). He’s neutrally a .245 hitter, but could hit 15 homers and steal 25 bags. Will he? That seems less likely, but he could.

Kahlil Watson – What you don’t see (except now) is I delete guys who I just don’t think are really pickupable (totally a word). Funnily enough, I removed Derek Hill here and added Kahlil. From Hill to Kahlil, one man’s story that seemed interesting in his own head. Here’s what I said previously about Watson, “Reminds me of Khalil Greene, one of the ugliest players ever. “Hold my mirror.” That’s Devin Mesoraco. Watson had a 12/15/.255 Triple-A in 56 games, but a 28 K%, which means he won’t make enough contact for us, outside of AL-Only. But, hey, he’s not ugly!” And that’s me quoting me!

Josh Lowe – He returned from an ego-bruising demotion seemingly renewed. Staring dead-eyed at “your next move is heading to the KBO” could do that.

Taylor Trammell – Saw FanGraphs say Trammell was like Brett Gardner, and Brett Gardner just grew back hair on his head hearing that–Wait, Brett was so shocked to hear it, his eyebrows went up. That’s not new hair. Trammell is a hot schmotato, not much else.

Colby Thomas – Seems to be on the short side of the righty-lefty platoon with Carlos Cortes, but has been hot. Also, in general, just roster A’s hitters for home games.

Cedric Mullins – One of the hottest schmotatoes in the entire land, as far as the eye can see with or without monocles.

Esmerlyn Valdez – Already gave you my Esmerlyn Valdez fantasy. It was written about six weeks ago, but still holds up. He has power.

Ryan Johnson – This is a Streamonator call (kinda, he’s a slight negative, but there wasn’t many good options this weekend), like the call it makes to the ER.

Kumar Rocker – This is also a Streamonator call. “There was this firecracker and someone threw it, and they blew a metal button off my chest! No, I can’t weld it back on!”

Alex Lange – Estevez ain’t coming back. Doode’s been out for months and he had shoulder issues after throwing on June 27th. Never happening.

Kirby Yates – Actually been decent, outside of the Saves category, which is kinda the whole point of SAGNOF, but he’s getting it done, even with declining velocity.

Yennier Cano – In Baltimore, this could also be Andrew Kittredge, Tyler Wells, Rico Garcia or you. You could be the new O’s closer!

Mason Montgomery – Could the Pirates trade for a closer? That would be cool. It would be nice to see the Pirates actually try. Dare to dream! Either way, Gregory Soto seems out, and there’s a lot of guys it could be, and most of them are not good. Montgomery, Dennis Santana or Door Number Three. As I list the names, Door Number Three is sounding better.

Mason Barnett – Good week for the guy in your league who works at W.B. Mason and just walks around all day saying, “Who Be Mason,” and grabs everyone off waivers named Mason.

Grant Taylor – He blew Thursday’s game, but nobody’s perfect, and, in the White Sox bullpen, that’s especially so.

Garrett Whitlock – Aroldis might be traded — reunited with the Pirates? I’m not mad at it! I also don’t get mad ever since I started taking these mood stabilizers. Everything is baby blue. — but this isn’t about Aroldis, this is about Whitlock and he’s been solid for middle relief, even without saves.

SELL

Andy Pages – So, this won’t be an I-told-y-so, because, brucely, he hasn’t been quite as bad as I expected this year. OR HAS HE?! Mr. Reversal, you’re a constant heart attack waiting to happen. Sorry…OR AM I?! Pages’s been basically a fine number four outfielder since May 8th. Seven homers in two months and two steals, and fine for counting stats, because he’s in a great lineup and could whistle, while walking backwards into 100 runs and RBIs. He’s slumping now, but, as long as he doesn’t slump the rest of the year, he will finish 30/15/.260. A respectable season. Could he slump for the entire 2nd half? Well, I don’t want to freak anyone out but he’s one of the biggest hot/cold hitters so he could slump for months. As I said in the preseason, and why I didn’t want him this year, he slumped so bad in the playoffs, he became a part-time player. Could the Dodgers try They Call Me Mr. Tibbs and bench Pages? Well, again, I’m not saying it’s off the table. As bad as Pages was in June, things could get dramatically worse for him. I wouldn’t trade Andy Pages for a paper bag face mask with the eyes cut out that’s been worn for the last two decades by a Jets fan, but I would go to the Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options.