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So the title is a bit of a superlative.  What was I gonna say, “The Mostly Kinda Good Fantasy Baseball Team?”  You’ll get over your scoffing; I have faith in you.  This is the best 2017 fantasy baseball team that I can put together when drafting from my top 100 for 2017 fantasy baseball and top 500 for 2017 fantasy baseball.  Honestly, I could draft another 25 teams from those lists, and they’d all be different, but equally terrific… Well, one of the twenty-five would only be sorta terrific, but it would be really hard to tell which one that is.  If I took Carlos Correa in the 2nd round, everything after would change.  If I took Arenado in the 1st round, everything after would change.  I’ve previously gone over my 2017 fantasy baseball draft prep for the first few rounds and pitchers pairings.  For this exercise, I’m taking Mike Trout first, because, well, I have him first overall.  Until pick 100, I’m taking one guy somewhere in every fifteen picks.  It would be nice if I was in a league where someone drafted Scherzer and Kershaw in the first two rounds and I was able to take Rougned Odor in the 2nd round (which is very likely), but since Trout and him are in my first 14 picks, according to the rules I’ve set up for myself, I can’t take them both.  Then, as we all know, once you get into the 100s, there’s wide gaps between ADP and where players are actually taken.  People tend to look at team need over value.  So for this exercise, once I get to pick #101, I’m going to pick two players every twenty picks.  Finally, because there is so much latitude in the last 300, I gave myself free reign to fill up my team.  Throughout the draft, I also gave myself the ability to reach to a lower draft pick, but not reach forward.  Or reach around, if you’re feeling frisky.  It should still be my ideal team… Or not.  Let’s see, shall we?  Bee tee dubya, this team is 5×5, one catcher, 5 OFs, MI, CI, 1 UT, 9 P, 3 bench, just like the Razzball Commenter Leagues (go sign up or start a league).  Anyway, here’s the best 2017 fantasy baseball team:

C: Tom Murphy
1B: Jose Abreu
2B: Dee Gordon
SS: Trevor Story
3B: Maikel Franco
MI: Jose Ramirez
CI: Ryon Healy
OF: Mike Trout
OF: Yoenis Cespedes
OF: Max Kepler
OF: Keon Broxton
OF: Manuel Margot
UTIL: Greg Bird

P: Carlos Martinez
P: Rich Hill
P: Lance McCullers 
P: Kelvin Herrera
P: Vincent Velasquez
P: Shawn Kelley
P: Ivan Nova
P: Cody Allen
P: Hector Neris
Bench: Ryan Madson
Bench: Cam Bedrosian
Bench: Blake Snell

SO, THIS TEAM IS BETTER THAN THE STRANGER THINGS KIDS DRESSED AS GHOSTBUSTERS IN THE NEW STRANGER THINGS TRAILER, BUT IS THERE ANY CHANCE YOU CAN DRAFT THIS EXACT TEAM?

No.  Sorry, I don’t mean to be short with you.  Here, let me explain it to you with a long-form answer:  Noooooooooooo.  As I said in the opening, this is an exercise to give you an idea of a team I wouldn’t kick out of bed.  With this exercise, I don’t look at ADP, so it’s nice that I want Dee Gordon at pick 109, as I have him in my top 500, but is there any chance I get him there?  That seems doubtful.  But for every ‘that seems doubtful’ draft pick I’ve taken, there’s others like, Rougned Odor, for unstints, where I have him ranked too high to grab him in this exercise, due to arbitrary constraints, but I should be able to draft him in the 3rd or 4th round of most drafts.  What this team should show in broad strokes — Did you get aroused when you read broad strokes?  Gross! — this team shows how I build a team.  Names change, but early on I’m looking at infield and outfield, while sprinkling in a pitcher here and there.  I completely wait on relievers, taking one around 115-130 overall, then another between 150-200, then whenever I can after the top 200.  I try to fill Utility with an upside bat in the very late rounds, knowing that I could drop him before the season even starts.  Finally, I just grab a middle reliever or potential closer with the final picks, knowing I can drop them too.  If you think you’re holding the last pick all year, you are milkshaken.  Stupid, delicious typos!

“PARDON ME, FANTASY MASTER LOTHARIO, BUT DID YOU FORGET TO DRAFT OUTFIELDERS?

Honestly, truthfully, not-lyingly, I like the upside gambles this year in outfield.  Middle infielders look good, cornermen are ‘you know what you’re getting,’ and catchers are whatever, but outfielders?  Outfield looks like the position to gamble on this year.  Plus, dropping an outfielder in the first few weeks after a draft goes hand-in-hand like toilet paper and poops.  Just the nature of the beast, or the beast’s nature, if you will.  Would I love to strike it rich on an outfielder?  Or three?  That’s the plan, Mr. Man.  Am I super confident in Kepler, Broxton, Margot and Bird?  Not especially, but I have written sleeper posts for most of them.  Previous years, I’ve punted shortstop or MI or both, but I don’t punt deep positions, I punt shallower ones.  Position scarcity is a backwards concept.  You want great guys at deep positions, and want to gamble on scarcer ones.  Why is this?  Simple, if your opponent has a great 1B, 3B, SS and 2B, you better too, otherwise you will lose.  But if your opponent has garbage at outfield as most will this year, then you can too.

“GREY, YOUR MUSTACHE IS YOGA PANTS ON THAT HOT MOM PICKING UP MY FRIEND FROM DETENTION, BUT WHAT GIVES WITH THE BENCH? NO BENCH BATS?”

First off, welcome to the site.  Get comfortable.  That doesn’t mean put your feet on the furniture.  What’s wrong with you?  Why I’m saying welcome is I’ve been saying for years I don’t draft bench bats.  If you didn’t know that, you’re new.  It’s okay.  We were all new once.  Shoot, I love that new person smell.  Don’t draft bench bats in 12 team and shallower leagues.  They’re useless.  You’re not going to hold them for longer than a few days after your draft.  Now, if you draft a few middle relievers with your last few picks, maybe — just maybe — you’ll luck into a closer getting injured before the preseason.  And, if that doesn’t work out, then you can drop the middle relievers without any hesitance.  It’s more of a hindrance to have someone like, say, Lucas Duda on your bench because then this happens, “Oh, it looks like Jeanmar Gomez might be hurt, who should I grab in the Philly bullpen for saves?  Hmm…Actually, who should I drop?  Should I drop Duda?  He might bounce back and he has power, and I think I need power and– Oh, it’s too late anyway, someone else grabbed Neris and Benoit.”  And then Neris or Benoit goes on to save 42 games and win the Rollie Rolaids award.  Oh, and in deeper leagues, bench bats are okay (within reason).  This does not mean I wouldn’t own a bench bat all year, just no reason to draft one.

GREY, YOU MEAT PUPPET YOU, YOUR PITCHING IS HELLA YOUNG AND NO ONE THAT IS YOUNG SAYS HELLA.

Yeah, Carlos Martinez as your first pitcher is tricky.  I was looking at him or Chris Archer as my first starter, and I have to say, at that point, I was like, “I wish I would’ve taken a starter before Archer in my top 20 starter rankings.”  See, we can always learn from each other by doing exercises like this.  I almost went back and put Yoenis back and grabbed Kluber instead, but I thought it was an important lesson to learn.  If you take C-Mart as your first starter, you’re going to ‘feel’ light on pitching.  You may not actually be light on it, but it will feel that way.  I love Velasquez, McCullers, Nova, Snell and Hill, but does C-Mart anchor that staff?  It feels risky.

CAN I TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR TEAM AND SEND IT TO MYSELF OVER ELECTRONIC MAIL AND PUT A RED FLAG ON THE EMAIL INDICATING IMPORTANT?

Yes, be my guest.  The only thing is you don’t want to get too caught up in trying to replicate my draft because if someone else takes a guy you want, you’re gonna start scrambling and then sweating and then sharting your sweatpants.  Just build the best team you can and use my example as a guide.  For s’s and g’s, go to my top 500 and put your best fantasy baseball team into the comments below.