Fee Fie Fo Fum, I drafted Buxton in the third round of my fantasy draft, would someone please slap the taste out of my mouth, for being so effing-dumb? Good gracious, the stench of my rotting 12th place carcass (Razzball Experts League) has somehow permeated through the dark web of Fantrax into my once lovely apartment. I say once lovely, for not only did it used to not smell of dead lilac water and festering wildebeest guts, but the windows were once open, the beaming sun warming my immaculate body like a microwave, kangaroo jacking another mediocre real estate agent, while everyone outside roared in applause. The true, raw, beastly, animalistic nature of humans on full display as they awaited the grand finale, the final curtain, where I would take my usual bow and hit the bowflex for a couple hours, a gift to the stragglers, yes, but mostly just a gift to myself. You see, I look at my body like a finely tuned… hold on, I’ve gotten off track here. Ahhhh, that’s right, darkness, misery and terror, back to that. So, sadly, Mt. Vesuvius was unable to erupt on this tragic day. So what if she came six times, the fact is I couldn’t provide the crowd with most potent window cleaner known to man when they needed it most…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Cam Bedrosian to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Keeping the weekend theme of rookie pitchers not giving up hits, yesterday Domingo German went 6 IP, 0 ER, zero hits, 2 BBs, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.66. Since I wasn’t very familiar with German — “Guten tag, give your bratwurst my best kraut.” — I decided to watch this game. German’s curve was made to look very impressive by an Indians team that still does not look right. It also didn’t hurt that the home plate umpire gave him a very favorable strike zone — “You wear the lederhosen in the Deutschland, Lance Barrett?” Kept feeling like a more patient team or just a few calls go a different way, and German has loaded the bases on walks with no outs, and, suddenly, he’s in a five run hole in two innings. Bundesländer? V to the ielleicht. Maybe Sonntag had his Sunday best on, but I don’t trust him outside of deep leagues. Of course, with that said (Grey’s turning the u-boat!), a flyer doesn’t hurt until the German roofie comes and you wake up in Frankfurt with a burly woman named Gertrude. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
“Hello, I’m here to visit The Sciosciapath.” “We need to see your ID, and, if you’re carrying any sharp items, you have to leave them here.” I empty my pockets and show the guard my ID. The Mental Institution of Major League Managers is a relic from the 50’s, a product of discarded patients suffering moral treatment. There’s Ron Washington chewing on a piece of chalk. At least, I think it’s chalk. Over there, Terry Collins is pretending a yo-yo is his arm. Finally, I see The Sciosciapath, bifocals low on the bridge of his nose, carrying a clipboard. He is a patient, but thinks he’s the megalomaniacal head physician. He muahaha’s as he sees me, and screams at a discarded piece of meatloaf, “I told you to run, Darin Erstad!” Any hoo! C.J. Cron has finally emerged from the shadow of failed psychiatry in Anaheim and is putting up a season we thought always possible. This is so unsurprising. He was obviously a 27-homer hitter for the last few years as The Sciosciapath played everyone else. If Cron is available in your league, grab him and stop screaming at your meatloaf. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Closers wear many hats, many outfits, and work their way up to that garnered closer spot. Now that Hunter Strickland is there, established and doing work, what will become of him if/when Mark Melancon returns… eventually? Melancon is scheduled for a bullpen session this weekend and he was previously scheduled for a throwing session a few days before, but instead played catch. Was his dad in town and they wanted to reminisce about the days of yore? But back to the guy in the seat in Strickland, him of the plus 9 K/9, 7 saves in 9 chances and .170 BAA. Those are all numbers for a closer that makes you comfy and cuddly in a “set it and forget it” kinda way. Though in all fairness, you should never remove your closer from your starting roster. So how long, or better yet, do we trust that Melancon just walks in like Wooderson from Dazed and Confused with ‘This is the story of the Hurricane’ playing behind and retakes his job? I am leery that he even makes it through his bullpen session. Kinda serious, but… kinda serious. The people that drafted Melancon aren’t losing anything but a DL slot. The people that own Strickland via FAAB or waiver wire pick up deserve him keeping the job. I am fighting for the common man here! The everyday waiver wire warrior. So rooting for Strickland now is a thing, I am going to get some foam fingers made that have some catchy quote on them. So if you are a Strickland owner, it is a firm hold and hope the MM never makes it back. For the Melancon owners… sorry. Hope he falls down and breaks his crown. Closer report, rankings, and musings heading your way. Cheers!Please, blog, may I have some more?
This draft is a crock pot vs. a microwave. A love sesh vs. a ‘hold the moan.’ A nature hike vs. “I’m gonna sit in the car as we drive past some mountains.” Guys and five girl readers, it’s a slow draft. This slow draft took about fifteen days, 18 hours, four minutes and–okay, only a lunatic counts seconds. Not almost 15 days of straight drafting, mind you. I don’t need to ice my clicky finger. It’s five minutes of drafting, twelve hours of waiting. It does allow you to second-guess your picks. Actually, more like triple-guess. (Who are we kidding, you quadruple-guess, fiveruple-guess, sextruple-guess, ochocinco-guess your picks.) For those not in the know, it’s a weekly, 15-team, two-catcher league that lasts for 50 rounds and there’s no waivers. Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Holding off on info during the height of draft time is just not my M.O. So I am bringing the goods and the reliever rankings a week earlier than anticipated. Why go into battle with a water pistol when you can go with the boomstick? At this point in the preseason, having a few teams with committee situations is normally a bad thing, except when you get to grab the right guy in that committee. Having multiple draftable options from one team is more of a benefit than a detriment on draft day, because inevitably one person is going to be wrong in that selection process and it is usually the guy who gets drafted higher. So looking at the situations with the White Sox, Rangers, Cardinals, and Diamondbacks as they sit today committee’s exist. Whether we want to believe it or not, each team has no clear cut closer and if you are skimming, this is still a good thing. Let someone else draft Gregerson, Soria, Parker, and Claudio. While you can sit back and wait a few picks or even rounds and scoop up Leone, Jones, Bedrosian, and Kela. As the season draws closer, this advantage will dwindle down to nothing, but for now use it to your advantage. Miss out on a top 8-10 closer, no worries, load up on the maybe’s and possibilities and if they don’t pan out than you can easily pivot to a more useful option on the waiver. So when someone says a committee is a bad thing, laugh and agree. Then drop the quartet of save possibilities into your team and see what happens. At worst they will cost you four out of your last seven picks. At that point in the draft, you should have an established team with all starters in place and you would be gambling on reliever talent anyways. Now you have the knowledge in your corner and a little bit of rankings goodness from ole’ Smokey. The initial installment of the Closer report with rankings is here, get excited!Please, blog, may I have some more?
This weekend I went to Palm Springs to see the in-laws, and I was saying to Father Cougs that I wished I bet on the Phillies to win the World Series back in November when we were in Vegas. He replied, “With all that blog money you have?” Then I went to the bathroom and told my reflection, “One day they’re not gonna laugh at you! I promise you that Reflection Grey!” Then, while sitting in a stall, I listened on my iPhone to the theme from Rocky, Gonna Fly Now, and stabilized my ego. Trying hard now! Gettin’ strong now! Gonna fly now! Any hoo! The newest favorite son of Philadelphia, Jake Arrieta, joined an already underrated starting rotation. I’d contend (for the welterweight championship) that Arrieta isn’t even their ace, that label goes to the guy draped in Mardi Gras beads, Nola. For a while, it appeared Arrieta was headed to Philly. I hear the hold up was due to Arrieta unable to find a special type of umbrella. “Do you have an umbrella that blocks thrown batteries?” In the top 40 starters, I said, “At this stage in Arrieta’s career, I don’t see his value changing much no matter where he signs. If he goes to Miller Park, Chase or Coors, then I’ll lower him a little, but I see no way I raise him up outside of a move to Petco, which doesn’t seem likely, because the Padres are playing for 2020, then, in 2020, they’ll be playing for 2023.” And that’s me quoting me! See, so nothing really changes, and I’m not looking to draft Arrieta suddenly, but a solid real world move for the Phils. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2018 fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, there’s a $10 league signup today that needs some people. When we did the polling of what youse wanted in your fantasy leagues, a large majority of you wanted paid leagues, but I’m getting the feeling we may not be doing them next year, and go back to all free leagues. You don’t want to bet $10 to win $100 that you’re better than eleven others? C’mon, put that Jimmy John’s sub money where your mouth is! Hey, I could write ad copy. Anyway, the roundup:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The most important thing in fantasy baseball relief-dom in terms of holds is consistency. Without consistency of opportunities, of placement in the bullpen, and a team’s consistent success in utilizing their bullpen to your fantasy advantage… you get left out out in the cold when it comes down to accumulating a stout holds based relief pitching corps. Until there is a shift in the utilization of bullpens for the benefit of fantasy, more so, the leagues that use the hold stat. I will admit that I am more of an eye test person than a numbers guy. Numbers scare me. They prove too many things that don’t factor in the human error factor and the good ole eye test. So against my better mental state, I used numbers from the past five years to show that the bullpens are being used more frequently. Not just by some teams, but by all teams. I know, duh. This is something that we all eyed to be happening than Smokey goes in the opposite direction like a dyslexic salmon and gets some data to prove the incline of a stat that he holds so near and dear to his fantasy bear heart. Well sit back, relax, it’s going to be a fun ride on the holds bus this week as we do some research and than put the top-50 relief pitchers into hold tiers. Enjoy!
The 2018 Razzball Commenter Leagues are now open! Free to join with prizes! All the exclamation points!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Quick, grab a coin from your pocket. Now hurl it in a river, and imagine it’s at someone in your office two cubicles away. Now mid-flight, make a wish. Get back to me in two-three days and let me know how it went. This luck and wish game is much like the closer game. We hope and pray that all is well, but at the end of the day, we only care about the accumulation. This late in the season its all about the job. Who is doing it and who isn’t, period. The stalwarts are on cruise control into the final stretch of the season and are mostly on more winning teams than the teams that have situations that aren’t the most ideal. Good bullpens usually equal good-to-moderately-good success in real life. Much is the same with fantasy closer investment and going into next year if you struggled for saves this year. Invest in teams that will have aspirations of playoff baseball. The investment in drafting a round or two earlier than usual should pay off in the long run of the ever treacherous 180 days of fantasy baseball. So with the season winding down, let’s see what is happening in the saves market around the game as we transition into fantasy football, basketball, hockey and SOCCER!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Wanna take a guess at who the title is? Anagrams are fun, and by fun, I mean about as fun as going to a baseball game and staying sober. Since that first sentence merely took eight seconds to read, I would assume that your guess of Fernando Valenzuela was wrong. The real answer is Amed Rosario. I could have went with endless possibilities, but a “sore diorama” sounds like a science fair experiment gone wrong. So onto the SAGNOF usefulness for the man that could have been “armoire soda,” but alas the diorama wins. Over the last 15 games with the Mets on coast mode to losing, the question is: are they in a coasting mode for losing and futility? Anyways, over his last 15 games, he has a .364 batting average, a .391 OBP, 7 runs, and the all important 3 steals. He never exuded elite-type speed in the minors, maxing out at 19 across two levels this year and last. So the speed could be blossoming like the ability to make pumpkin spice anything nowadays and have lonely single people furnish an entire apartment with it. With the season less than two weeks from finish, look high, look low, look Amed Rosario.Please, blog, may I have some more?